Monthly Archives: December 2013

American Horror Story: Coven S03E09 – Head

It is usually around this point in the season that American Horror Story starts to get a little screwy, throwing importance on storylines that aren’t interesting, or being strange just for the sake of being strange. The ninth episode of Coven, entitled “Head” (hey, I struggle with titles too, so I can respect the laziness of this), definitely wasn’t the best of the season, and maybe this is a good point for them to take a break until after Christmas. Let’s go………

-We start off in a forest and you just had to know nothing good was going to come of this. We figure out quickly that it is Hank, Delia’s witch-hunting husband getting his start with his dad, and we learn the family has been hunting for generations. But Hank freezes when he actually sees a witch, who begs him not to shoot her, then shoots out fire to take him out. His father pushes him out of the way and shoots the witch, but gets burned in the process. What do we learn? Hank really ain’t ’bout that life.

-Fiona heads (sorry, that was totally unintended) over to Marie’s salon with the head of Madame L in a box, the same one that Marie sent to the coven at the end of the last episode. Fiona tries to be friends and get the two sides to come together. Marie ain’t feelin’ it in the slightest and kicks her out, and then tells Queenie to burn the head, which she doesn’t. This whole “head” thing is kinda hokey. She just spits out corny one-liners and the body trying to slap away a fly was goofy. Kathy Bates is probably looking at the script like, “shit, well, I’m gettin’ a cheque”.

-Hank meets with his father, who is now the CEO of a major financial institution, but still in the witch-hunting game. He chastises Hank for being sloppy with killing the redhead in the hotel, and now he is starting to catch feelings for Delia (well, not start, you should assume that he has had them for a while, he did marry her and all). That’s why he didn’t get the #2 role under his dad and that has to burn Hank, but shit, his dad was right. Can’t have someone that sloppy and emotional in a position of power. But we did learn that they were behind Delia’s blinding, which wasn’t all that surprising.

-Myrtle gets revenge for her stake burning by poisoning her former colleagues on the Council, and well, since Delia needs some new eyes, she has to get them from somewhere, right? She scooped them shits out with a spoon, bruh….A SPOON. This was probably my favorite part in a very meh-filled episode. Myrtle might be a darkhorse coming down the stretch in Coven. She has been on fire since Misty resurrected her, she seems to be more powerful now and you know she still wants Fiona’s head on a platter. The two started arguing when Fiona entered the room, but Delia tried to squash that with the quickness because they have bigger issues to deal with, like silver bullets and such. Keep an eye out (again, completely unintentional) for Myrtle.

-Here is where I started to zone out. Madison and Zoe go to see Nan, who is holding a vigil at the hospital for the neighbor boy she is in love with or whatever that is. Nan tells his mom, who still isn’t a fan of them, about a song she used to sing to him, which he told Nan through her mind-reading powers. Now, I just learned that the actress who plays the mom was the actress who won a Tony for Evita and is pretty big in musicals. Ryan Murphy, the creator of American Horror Story, also does Glee. So, you see the connections here….and I don’t give a damn about this storyline. None of it. And no one is going to question the mom being brought back to life last week? She’s just chillin’ in the hospital like everything is sweet. Anyway….moving on.

-Instead of burning Madame L’s head, Queenie decides to torture her by making her watch Roots, and this is up there with my favorite moments of the episode because, well, I’ve watched Roots. I respect Roots and its place. But watching that for eight hours straight would drive you crazy. I’ve only seen it the once, and I’m good. Anyway, she also planned on making her watch Roots: The Next Generation, Mandingo, The Color Purple and BAPS, which I forgot about and am going to watch soon, because Halle Berry. It just all seemed a little too buddy-cop like, though, and that is the way they have handled the Queenie-Madame L thing all season. But the rub is, where usually the bad cop would learn something, Madame L ain’t learning shit and keeps throwing around “negress”. She is committed to her ‘cism, I’ll give her that.

-Hank goes to see Delia after Marie put him through all types of voodoo pain and said that she wanted the witches gone that night or else, but Delia (with Misty in tow) isn’t having any of it and tell him his shit is packed and ready to go. You can tell that Hank really does love Delia, but there is no room for that shit in this life.

-Fiona and Hank talk briefly, but that gets thrown to the side as she (well, their new guard dog, actually) discovers Kyle in a room. Now, Kyle killed the dog, apparently, and I must have missed that part, but it isn’t that important. The most important thing is that Fiona brought him along enough to put together sentences and play cards. She looked at the girls like, “y’all young girls don’t know shit about this here”. It was good. He is now their guard dog. Which means he’ll likely die.

-Nan and the mom are all friends and shit, until Nan brings up some old stuff, via the son, about how his father died. He was cheating, she wasn’t having it and released a bunch of bees in his car as he was allergic. So the Nan-mom singalong came to a halt. He wakes up, and the mom smothers her son with a pillow. Another great moment for motherhood on American Horror Story.

-Hank shows up at Marie’s salon with a shotgun with a silencer on it (where in the fuck did he get that?) and is out for blood. He shoots a couple people, including Queenie, and he hunts down Marie, but Queenie takes one for the team and shoots herself in the mouth, killing Hank as well. But I’m assuming she’ll be back, because EVERYONE comes back on this show one way or another. This was done really well as she was showing Madame L footage of the Civil Rights movement, and playing “Oh Freedom” while all this was going on was, um, it was an interesting choice, but it worked for me.

-The show ends with Marie showing up at the coven like, “so, about that thing you were talking about, the joining forces and such” and Fiona is like, “mmmmmmhmmmm”. More scenes between Bassett and Lange. I fucks with this.

There were great moments in this episode, but a few poor moments as well. Coven is off until January 8th, which is smart because people will be running around doing Christmas stuff, so we have about a month to wait, although FX will be running marathons of the first two seasons over the holidays, so get up on that. Hopefully, the last four episodes of Coven will pick things back up.

Sons Of Anarchy S06E13 – A Mother’s Work

Whatever you think about Sons Of Anarchy, you have to concede that they do know how to wrap up a season, which is something a lot of shows manage to screw up. One that sticks out is the finale to the incredible fourth season, which ends with Jax taking his place at the head of the table with Tara behind him, glaring at Gemma. They all take center stage in “A Mother’s Work” (you’ll get a couple of different takes on what this means throughout the episodes: mothers doing what they feel they have to do to protect their family, basically) and lays the groundwork for the seventh and final season. Let’s go…..

-You knew this episode was about to be on some shit when it opened with Jax chillin’ by Opie’s tombstone, writing in his journal and telling the kids that this was all for them. That was a long-ass montage. It was a little sad that only Unser showed up to Clay’s funeral, but then I remembered how much of a dirtbag he was, so fuck him. There were some good cuts in this, though. It cut to Clay’s grave when Jax was talking about becoming the thing he hated, and it also cut to Gemma when he was talking about hating himself. It was definitely a well-done montage, just long. Also, running over the bird? Yeah, you know it was on.

-Gemma sits down with Juice to see where his head is at after his attempted suicide, and he says he is alright, but that is horseshit. Try it once, okay, cool, but this is the second time he has tried to pull this off. Guy can’t even do that right. Juicy just ain’t ’bout that life anymore, and Gemma sees that, but she lets him think that she buys it. Back to them in a bit, though.

-I would have really been partyin’ if the DA had punched Gemma in the mouth for the “suck my white crack” comment as Gemma was leaving the clubhouse. I don’t really like either of ’em, but Gemma needs that ass beat.

-Jax and the DA sit down for a chat and it basically comes out that Tara was planning to make a deal. The DA seems to have a bit of a soft spot for Jax, even after all the shit he has done, and she tells him to man up, in a matter of speaking. She knows he is a tough spot and is trying to do the right thing, I think, but the life won’t allow him to do it. This was pretty solid. He explains everything to the club at the table in regards to Tara, but Jax wouldn’t go all the way to say they would kill her. There was an allusion to it, for sure, because that’s how you gotta deal with rats, but this is the mother of his children. He couldn’t let her die…..could he?

-Alvarez rolls up to the club and basically tells Jax that he isn’t happy with the way everything went down with the Irish and Blacks hooking up with the guns, and the killings of the Asians. Alvarez has been pushing this for a couple episodes now and you could just see the anger coming to the top. Pulling Nero into the mix definitely didn’t help, especially since he knew about the Mayans’ new chapter in Stockton and didn’t tell Jax. And how friggin’ far did Jax and Alvarez walk? Mufuckas doin’ laps around Charming? Why couldn’t they have just done this in the clubhouse? I suppose, mufuckas gotta exercise.

-Tara talks to the lawyer and tells him to meet her at this park Abel likes. Meanwhile, Juice and Bobby are following the lawyer, so they will know where she is soon enough. At this point, all I can say is, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TARA?!?!?!?!”. This is really going down like that.

-Took them, like, three or four seasons, but the kids are finally talking. Abel is saying sentences and shit, and Thomas is at least making noise. That was kinda touching, too, when Tara told Abel that his little brother was going to be scared and Abel got right up on the bed with him. Those kids are so fucked. So very fucked. Never had a chance.

-Jax sets up a meeting with Alvarez and the Mayans, which now apparently includes Nero, and Marks and the Blacks, but Marks wasn’t there because he stays out of the street shit. Jax tries to get on Nero about knowing about the Mayans and Stockton, but Nero is like, NOAP, let’s talk about how you made Juice kill the mother of the school-shooting kid. Then he goes on about karma, and maybe that is why Tara is fuckin’ with Jax, which shut him up with the quickness. Nero is FINALLY coming around on the club and how fucked they are.

-The Mayans turn on the Blacks during the gun deal. You knew that was coming. This storyline will definitely play a major role next season. Right now, it’s on the backburner. We;ll probably see more of Robocop, as Jax goes to his bakery to find out stuff about Tara and let him know that the Mayans would be in his ‘hood a little more. He’ll need the heads up, because shit is about to get real next season.

-Jax gets word that Tara is at the park with her lawyer and the boys, and it looked like the same park where she was kidnapped, what was that, two seasons ago? But before he gets there, a few things happen. Cut to Gemma’s where Unser is getting ready to take Wendy to rehab, and she doesn’t want to go, but she has to get clean before she can be of use to the kids. Gemma leaves to go to the whorehouse to talk to Nero, who proceeds to break up with her because, well, fuck SAMCRO. Shit ain’t been nothing but trouble for him since he met Gemma and he has to get out, so he can help broker this deal with the Mayans, turn the gang over to his little homie (who I just learned was named Fiasco, I don’t think I knew that before, but anyway) and get out of the game. Gemma obviously doesn’t take that well, even though he told her to come with him. You’d think she’d understand a little more after both prior husbands have ended up dead and Nero ain’t tryna be the third. But it’s Gemma, and she’s fucking nuts. That sets the wheels in motion.

Then we have the scene of the episode: when Abel yells “DADDY!” at the park, I hit that GIF of Michael Jackson eating popcorn and was ready to go. Tara really thought that Jax was going to kill her right there, in the park, but he isn’t that stupid and he really does love her. But she knows he has to do what he has to do, but so does she and that means getting the boys out of all that fuckery. I didn’t expect Jax to agree to that at all, and finally, he makes a good, solid, wholesome decision. He makes, like, one per season and it usually ends up being later in the season. It also usually ends up backfiring.

-The DA, the lawyer and Roosevelt show up at the hotel to pick up Tara, and there are Jax and Tara with a one-time only deal: Jax takes the rap for the gun that killed the schoolkids, on the grounds that nothing happens to Tara and the boys, and they can go wherever they want freely, and nothing happens to SAMCRO. He couldn’t let the mother of his children take the hit for them, she has already done way more than enough, and that was a huge move by Jax. This is why mufuckas think he really is a good person, when he is far from it. That’s what makes Jax such a compelling character: flawed as shit, but you know there is some good under there somewhere.

-Jax tells the boys his plan and turns the club over to Bobby, with Chibs still as his right-hand man. But he also told the boys that Juice couldn’t be trusted and you know Chibs wanted to pull out his gun right there. I was so ready for Juice to die. That’s all I want from this show. Please.

-Unser goes over to Gemma’s place and finds her all buzzed up, and tells her that Tara’s lawyer called him for some archived information on the club, which pretty much meant that Jax was getting arrested. She wanted to leave, but Unser was like, “Nah, my truck is blocking you in”. Two things: one, what did Unser think was going to happen when he told Gemma that, especially in her state and two, did he really think the truck-blocking thing was going to stop Gemma’s crazy ass? Nah, she just took his shit and kept it moving. And that’s when we were like, “Oh noooooooooooooooooooooo”

-Unser tries to do right by going to the clubhouse to say bye to Jax, and tell him that his mother is raging and on the loose with his truck. Juice said he’d go find her, and Jax follows him out. Juice says, “I’ma miss you, brother” and Jax hit him with that, “You betrayed me”. I stood up ready for him to kill him right there on the street, and nothing. For fuck sakes. Still, I’ll thoroughly enjoy him dying next season.

-Tara gets to her house to grab a couple things with Roosevelt, and they see Unser’s truck outside, so they assume it’s him. Roosevelt leaves, and enter…..Gemma. I was shaking by this point. Tara was like, fuck this, I’m out, and Gemma hit her with an iron and tried to drown her in the sink. And then the big-ass fork…..holy shit. Motherfucker. The homie Pat and I had to look away. That shit was BRUTAL. Roosevelt hears some shit and goes in to find a dead Tara on the floor and Gemma mumbling stuff about having to do it, then Roosevelt sets her straight about Jax taking the fall on his own. Then Juice shows up to shoot him and help Gemma get out of there.

-My man Roosevelt, I hate it had to be him 😦

-Jax says his goodbyes to everyone at the clubhouse. Wendy is chillin’ gettin’ her rehab on. Gemma drives back to Unser and breaks down, although I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t know what she did. Juice cleans up all the evidence by throwing them in dumpsters. And that damn homeless woman pops up again, and she grabs a bag, but I was thinking about something else at the time, so I didn’t notice what was in it. I’m going to assume it was one of the bags Juice threw in the dumpster. Sons Of Anarchy loves its montages.

-Finally, Jax gets back to the house and finds Tara there. That shit was real, man. He said that Opie was his center, but really, it was Tara. Now they’re both gone, basically because of him, and he can’t handle it, for good reason. The DA walks in and finds Jax holding Tara and saying I’m sorry……..annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd scene.

This was an exhausting 90 minutes of television. The DA better not think Jax did that shit, and now it’s just a matter of what fuckery Jax will pull to avoid going to jail, because he clearly isn’t going to spend the entire final season behind bars, maybe the first two or three episodes. What’s up with the Mayans going ham on everyone? Will the boys go with Wendy now if she cleans herself up? Who gets to kill Juice? I bet mufuckas do some paper-rock-scissors to decide. Will Unser finally die of cancer? And how will Gemma die? Remember, Sons Of Anarchy is a modern retelling of Hamlet, and his mother, Gertrude, dies by drinking poison meant for Hamlet. Gemma will die, and my guess is Jax does it, especially when he learns the truth. And how long will she stay on the run?

Shoutout to Ron Perlman (Clay) and Maggie Siff (Tara). They were both terrific throughout their runs on the show.

That was a fun season. The final season of Sons Of Anarchy is going to be a wild one.

American Horror Story: Coven S03E08 – The Sacred Taking

American Horror Story: Coven emerges from the American Thanksgiving holiday with a bang, and it seems like they were gone for much longer than a week. “The Sacred Taking” starts strong and even though it could probably do without one of the storylines, ends just as well. Let’s go……

-We start with Queenie walking around in a bummy part of town and of course, some crazy guy steps to her, which of course, isn’t going to work out for him. Zoe and Madison run up on her and try to persuade her to come back to the coven, but Queenie isn’t buying it at all, and instead pulls out the heart of the man who was going to attack her because Marie needed it for a spell. Turns out he was a rapist anyway, so he wasn’t needed. But she said the war was on, and the coven was going to lose. It is now officially on and poppin’.

-Life isn’t letting Fiona cook at all. The cancer is winning, making her all googly-eyed for the Axeman, who is just chillin’ in his briefs like everything is cool and he tells her that he’ll be there until she dies. Pretty noble coming from a guy that kills people just because they don’t like jazz. And Fiona is also worried about which witch is taking her powers en route to being the next Supreme. You would think the Supreme would have the power to figure that out, but she already whiffed on Madison, so fuck knows who it is now.

-Meanwhile, the coven is plotting on Fiona’s downfall when they’re joined by Misty (hey boo), who was forced out of her swamp house by someone with a gun, which I’m assuming was Delia’s husband, the Witch Hunter. But Misty brought a friend: Myrtle is back and she looks as creepy as ever. She looked creepy in life, creepy in death and creepier in resurrection. Myrtle thinks Misty is the Supreme, so that is thrown into the mix. 

-Cut to Zoe and Kyle, and I automatically sighed because I hate this storyline and these characters. But damn, I can’t even front…that look on Kyle’s face when Zoe put the headphones on his head was GOOD. He had that “EUREKA!” look on his face, dogg. I also kinda like how he just wants to bang everything that is put in front of him. Maybe I don’t hate this as much as I thought. Gimme another couple scenes, though.

-The religious mother from next door is trying to nurse her son back to health after his last appearance, on Halloween against Marie’s zombie army. It also involves an enema. Being a good mother is not a prerequisite on Coven this season. Fiona was awful, Madame L was worse, Kyle’s mom was tryna give him a handjob….mothers aren’t getting good reviews in these AHS streets.

-The name of the episode comes from the next scene as the Sacred Taking is when the current Supreme takes her own life and gives her power to the next one. Delia thinks this will work, and Madison gives her a solid sideeye. We don’t even know who the next one is, so how does this work? But we got the best line of the episode, and quite possibly of the entire season. Nan was like, “why can’t I be the next one?”, and Madison replied with, “You have no style and your pits smell like fishsticks”. When I tell you that myself and my AHS partners in crime, Lindsay and Jody, were PARTYIN’ off that, my goodness….I was sweating. Those Madison bars are etherous. Either way, Delia was like, this is how it’s going down.

-Fiona comes out of her bathroom from a cancer-induced puking session to see Madison, who she thinks is dead, and Madison does her best to persuade Fiona to take a bunch of pills, or be burned at the stake as she did to Myrtle, who joins the party. Myrtle guides Fiona through a flashback of her getting sicker and dying, lonely as even the Axeman left her (you know you done fucked up when a bloody axe murderer ain’t fuckin’ with you anymore). So, it’s on to the pills for Fiona, but let’s be real, she loves pills. Myrtle also got her steal on, taking some jewelry for the road. That’s ratchet as shit and I appreciate that.

-But Spalding comes back from the dead, because everyone comes back from the dead on Coven, and his truth-telling ass tells Fiona that she has been tricked into committing suicide. Or maybe he was a ghost. I’m not sure what is going on here, but either way, he’s back and gets Fiona back on the go with some sort of potion that makes her throw up the pills. It must be Suicide Prevention Week at FX; this happened on Sons Of Anarchy as well.

(EDIT: I was just notified that Spalding was a ghost and in fact, not brought back from the dead. I was kinda drunk when I watched this and must have missed it the second time. These things happen.)

-Queenie is tryna be friends, giving Madame L a burger in her cage until Marie (HEY BOO) rolls up and sends her off. Madame L doesn’t even care about Marie’s threats because she knows she can’t die, but Marie isn’t hearing it and cuts off her hand. Every time you try to feel a little sympathy for Madame L, you remember that she is a raging racist and she wanted to go back into the ground because there was a “darkie in the White House”.

-Nan reads the thoughts of the neighbor’s son and goes over to the house, but his mother is on the phone with the police. But she took a few gunshots to the chest courtesy of the witch hunter, who was probably going after Nan and is just a terrible shot.

-Fiona shows up like, “what y’all up to?”, but everyone is more concerned of what is going on next door. She goes over and meets Misty, who brings back Neighbor Mom to prove to Fiona that she can do it. Delia finds a silver bullet, which points to her witch-hunting husband, so now we know that witches can be killed by silver bullets…well, anyone can, but especially witches.

-Zoe and Kyle have this touching “I love you” moment and I go back to hating them. Madison is sad as shit over in a corner and you know she won’t take that lying down.

-Fiona and Delia are chatting in the kitchen, Fiona says she is proud of her daughter, who replies that she would have tried to kill her mother long ago if that’s what it took to get her love. They put their beef to the side because they have to deal with the witch hunter, and anyway, Delia is blind as shit and Fiona has cancer, so neither is really at full strength. The doorbell rings and there is a box on the step. Yep, Madame L’s head is in there and the eyes blink.

Next week’s episode is called “Head” before Coven takes a break until January. I’m pretty sure we can all guess what that will be about. Shit is still shaping up to be the best season of American Horror Story yet.

Sons Of Anarchy S06E12 – You Are My Sunshine

The two-week break afforded to us by the good folks of Sons Of Anarchy left us with a warm and fuzzy feeling as everything fell right for Jax and the club. However, “You Are My Sunshine” (Tara sings it, Juice has “Sonshine” tatted on his chest) destroyed all that goodwill. I am actually afraid for next week’s finale, because it is going to be brutal on a bunch of different levels. Let’s go….

-The DA wasn’t buying Jax’s explanation of the Clay/Galen deaths at all, but he was right, he DID actually give her what she wanted. And there would have been a lot more dead cops if he hadn’t planned that diversion. Tig got jokes, though. He and the Hispanic dude were going back and forth as they killed those Irish at the gun drop, and that was pretty good. That “not the hair” joint was pretty good. So dry.

-Meanwhile, Tara is plotting to meet the DA at the hospital and give her the bullet that she got out of Bobby’s shoulder so she could get immunity for her and her boys. How does she plan to shake her SAMCRO escort? She doesn’t, really. At this point, Tara isn’t worried about the prospects following her, because they’re not that smart.

-Abel speaks for the first time in what, two seasons? I forgot that kid had a voice. But that “where is Mommy?” was strong as shit. That basically punched Gemma in the stomach. These kids are so damned doomed.

-The Chinese leader has a hard-on for revenge for the Irish killing his men, and he isn’t satisfied when he finds the guys that Tig and company killed already dead. He wants Connor, and now Jax has to come up with another plan because they won’t release Happy until he gets vengeance. I can’t help but think that Kurt Sutter and crew were partyin’ and making old samurai “you killed my brother” jokes while they were writing this episode.

-Nero has a chat with his #2 in his crew, who basically tells him that the crew is getting restless and that SAMCRO has been nothing but trouble. The Mayans want to meet him and form an alliance for when the shit hits the fan. Someone has to talk sense into this dude. Such a sucker for love, and I’m all for love and shit, but would you sit through all this shit the club has put you through? You damn near went to jail for a murder you didn’t commit. But anyway, we’ll get back to that.

-You’d love to feel bad for Gemma, and the show has gone through a lot to make you sympathize with her, but then you get her next scene with Wendy. She is throwing around the “Uncle Cancer” jokes and calling Wendy a junkie mom, all of which are true, but don’t be a bitch about it. She might be the worst character on the show in terms of morals and shit.

-Bobby tells Juice to take some Oxy and go visit the whores. Yeah, that’s gon’ work out well for everyone.

-Nero meets Alvarez, the leader of the Mayans, who hits with one of two nominees for the line of the episode: “Ain’t no Switzerland in the ‘hood”. SAMCRO is getting out of guns, which means the Mayans lose that backing and will likely get run over. You can’t be neutral in this shit.

-You just knew that Gemma, Tara and the DA would all end up at the hospital at the same damn time. Gemma needed painkillers for Bobby, which Tara said she’d get, and the DA did some quick thinking to come up with the “visiting injured cops” story. That little scene between Gemma and the DA was good. Both knew the other was hiding something, they just couldn’t figure out what. Then the DA and her lawyer meet with Tara, and I’m surprised her lawyer wasn’t there. That makes me kinda wonder. But then she goes back to the cabin, and Jax is there, and she grabbed him to give him a hug and say, “I’m sorry”. Mixed signals like a mufucka.

-Juice takes Bobby’s advice and heads over to the brothel, but he’s wacked like shit on Oxycontin and damn near has a panic attack. Then he proceeds to OD with a hooker and Gemma and Nero have to save him, with Gemma sticking her fingers down his throat to make him throw up the drugs. Just let Juice die, man. Him being alive isn’t good for anyone. This was even before he spilled his guts (not literally) to Nero about Jax making him kill the mother of the boy who shot up the school. Juice isn’t built for this life anymore.

-So everyone meets at the guns, where Jax turns Connor over to the Chinese, but who didn’t know it would get messy when the Chinese opened up the back of the truck? Marks and his gang join the party and as per usual, dead bodies everywhere. Connor and Marks meet, Marks gives him a half-million for the first shipment and Connor is like, “hey, maybe the negroes are alright”. And shoutout to the boys for letting Happy kill the Chinese leader. Happy stay winnin’, dogg.

-Second nominee for line of the episode, and I think it wins: the president of the Niners says to Jax, “see you soon” and Jax was like, “no, you won’t”. The Niners dude looks at him, smiles and was like, “who you kiddin'”? I actually laughed out loud. Poor Jax. Thinks he can just walk away from this shit.

-And Tig STILL gets to survive, for fuck sakes.

-Tara pulls off her great plan: she tells Gemma she needs her at the cabin with Bobby, then goes to Gemma to get her boys, sticking up Wendy and Unser in the process. Unser puts together that she could possibly be working with the feds. Wendy yells some shit about being Abel’s real mother and gets punched in the mouth for her troubles. I don’t know how far Tara thought she was going to get. I think it actually hits her when Abel asked if Daddy would be joining them on the road. That “You Are My Sunshine” she was singing came to a halt right quick.

-Shit ends with Jax meeting Gemma at his house, and he starts throwing shit around one of the kids’ rooms. Nero came over and it looked like he wanted to confront Jax about what Juice told him, but he decided it wasn’t the time or place, and he got all fatherly. Wasn’t that nice? Get that shit outta here. They have been through a lot, but that seemed kinda forced.

Season finale, next week. My “Tara dies” agenda is firmly in play. Now, it’s just a matter of who gets to do it: Jax, Gemma, or the sheriffs that the DA has looking for her. Sons Of Anarchy, you absurd, yet great, show.

That new shit….

So, WordPress kicked me out of my old blog (actually, the email associated with it doesn’t exist anymore and Gmail won’t cooperate, long and short of it), so here I am. The recaps will be done here, I’ma figure out a way to link to the old one (if any tech heads are out there that know how to do it without me having a hernia, holla at a brotha). I’ll figure out the name and design and all that stuff very soon, I just wanted to get it up and running and quite frankly, “The Box” makes me laugh because I’m 12 years old.

‘Preciate y’all. Let’s try this again.