So, I’ve been watching Big Brother for damn near a decade now. It’s my guilty pleasure. It’s not even really a guilty pleasure, but I realize the majority of the world believes it’s some fuckery because, well, it is. Anyway, the second season of Big Brother Canada has been pretty entertaining, but shit really went down this week. This is a Skype conversation that went down between myself and the homegirl Holly, who got me into this show. We were planning on doing this weekly, but we’re lazy, so we’ll probably just do it when something major happens.
[10:49:24 AM] Neil: so that was quite the episode of Big Brother
[10:49:58 AM] Holly: Ika totally knew everyone was listening
[10:50:16 AM] Holly: at first I didn’t think she did, but then she started calling out the five alliance, and just ripping on all of them
[10:50:26 AM] Holly: and when she shredded those letters. OOOWEEEE
[10:51:51 AM] Neil: absolutely
[10:51:53 AM] Neil: and for real
[10:52:01 AM] Neil: fuck them, man
[10:53:21 AM] Holly: Kenny and Andrew were fucking assholes
[10:53:55 AM] Holly: giving her the finger and crying, over a fucking letter. Peter said it best on the after show, if you are in the house to get letters from home, you’re in there for the wrong reasons
[10:55:34 AM] Holly: when that screen went up and she saw everyone upset and started laughing, I lost it
[10:57:13 AM] Neil: pretty much
[10:57:19 AM] Neil: like, seriously
[10:57:42 AM] Neil: you’re away from home for what, just over two months?
[10:57:56 AM] Holly: they’ve only been away for a month now
[10:58:35 AM] Neil: at least Sarah was like, we deserve it
[10:58:53 AM] Neil: someone was like, i understand, but it was mean
[10:59:01 AM] Neil: you better leave those feelings at the door
[10:59:11 AM] Holly: damn right it was mean, its frigging Big Brother
[10:59:47 AM] Holly: and now Canada is HOH, so all those butthurt feelings Andrew and Kenny and Sabrina have are gonna be worse when they find out Canada hates them and they go on the block
[11:01:06 AM] Neil: Sabrina’s crocodile tears and shit
[11:01:10 AM] Neil: fuck outta here
[11:03:46 AM] Holly: Kenny tries to look tough with his beard, and not wearing a shirt and his tattoos, but really he’s just an emotional whiny baby that cries when he doesn’t get his way
[11:05:18 AM] Neil: yup
[11:05:33 AM] Holly: I sure had him pegged wrong
[11:06:07 AM] Neil: I want him and andrew up
[11:06:24 AM] Neil: or some combination of him, Andrew or Sabrina
[11:06:28 AM] Holly: by the sounds of the internet that’s gonna happen
[11:06:39 AM] Neil: Sabrina, you can use because she will whore herself out to anyone
[11:06:43 AM] Holly: Him, Andrew and Sabrina are getting most of the votes.
[11:07:00 AM] Holly: people should vote for Sarah too
[11:07:06 AM] Holly: just everyone in that alliance
[11:08:31 AM] Neil: who is the fifth again?
[11:08:34 AM] Neil: Arlie?
[11:08:44 AM] Holly: I think so
[11:09:05 AM] Neil: I don’t mind Sarah so much
[11:09:30 AM] Neil: she’s pretty real compared to the rest
[11:09:32 AM] Holly: me neither, but we want to send a message to the house that their alliance is fucked
[11:11:26 AM] Neil: I wanna see how fast Sabrina will throw Rachelle in the bushes
[11:12:00 AM] Holly: Sabrina is such an idiot
[11:12:29 AM] Holly: she is delusional, she was saying on the feeds last night that she knows canada loves her so she wont go up
[11:12:52 AM] Holly: she thinks doing other people’s dirty work is gonna pay off for her. When has it ever paid off for anyone ever in Big Brother?
[11:20:49 AM] Neil: you can do all that shit without being as sketchy as she has been
[11:21:19 AM] Holly: or be likeable
[11:21:36 AM] Holly: Andrew and Kenny think they are Mike and Boogie right now. But they are not likeable
[11:22:26 AM] Holly: that’s what made Chilltown so good, they had everyone do all their work for them, but everyone loved them. They were fun, they didn’t fight with people or pick sides, they just came up with stupid things to do in the house and made up dances
[11:22:35 AM] Holly: er, Will and Boogie, sorry
[11:23:32 AM] Holly: Peter came close last year, everyone liked him and he was never winning HOH or veto but had a hand in everything, then he got all vagina mesmorized with Liza and it ruined him
[11:25:26 AM] Neil: YUP
[11:26:38 AM] Neil: and why they keep doing this to the black girls?
[11:26:48 AM] Neil: SO MUCH CISM
[11:27:42 AM] Holly: probably because they think black girls are sassy and will say some nasty shit out loud
[11:27:51 AM] Holly: which, let’s be real, happened both times
[11:27:53 AM] Holly: haha
[11:28:03 AM] Neil: hahaha
[11:28:23 AM] Holly: but who’s to say a white person wouldn’t have done the same
[11:28:29 AM] Holly: I would have done the exact same thing
[11:28:47 AM] Holly: I woulda talked smack, shredded those letters and did a little dance while I was doing it
[11:29:20 AM] Holly: then I would have been standing in front of the screen with the cheque waiting for it to go up so the houseguests could see me humping it and laughing
[11:30:05 AM] Neil: hahaha
[11:30:14 AM] Neil: seriously tho
[11:30:23 AM] Neil: they were voting her out anyway
[11:30:29 AM] Holly: of course!
[11:30:37 AM] Holly: even if she had have given them the letters
[11:30:46 AM] Neil: give me ONE good reason why i should give you your letters?
[11:30:49 AM] Neil: JUST ONE
[11:31:09 AM] Holly: besides, it’s JUST LETTERS
[11:32:08 AM] Holly: what do they say? Oh hai, life’s alright, the cats doing well, see ya soon?
[11:32:27 AM] Holly: thanks for the news bulletin
[11:33:09 AM] Neil: basically
[11:33:20 AM] Neil: i’ll talk to yall when i get outside
[11:33:28 AM] Neil: that’ll just fuck with your focus
[11:33:58 AM] Neil: Sabrina with her fuck shit
[11:34:04 AM] Neil: OH LOOK I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE CANADA
[11:34:13 AM] Neil: if you don’t shut the entire and complete fuck up
[11:41:39 AM] Holly: Sabrina would get two words into her letter and start bawling.
[11:41:59 AM] Holly: you know cries a lot and you don’t see it? Sarah
[11:42:18 AM] Holly: She cried the other day because Andrew asked her if the diary room gave her her Ativan yet
[11:42:23 AM] Holly: two things.
[11:42:34 AM] Holly: 1. The fuck kinda thing is that to cry over?
[11:43:01 AM] Holly: 2. I would be on Ativan all day erryday in that damm house. Just floated around, giving -49 fucks
[11:43:24 AM] Neil: hahahaha
[11:43:46 AM] Neil: making pillow forts in the pool even though you can’t swim and shit
[11:45:41 AM] Holly: that pillow fort was awesome!
[11:45:57 AM] Holly: Pillow Forts: making enemies into frenemies since 2014
[11:46:55 AM] Neil: Ika and Heather were partyin like shit in there
[11:53:10 AM] Neil: Adel hit the nail on the head too
[11:53:30 AM] Neil: Jon and Neda could roll through mufuckas if they can stick together
[11:54:51 AM] Holly: yep. those two may be the only sane ones in the house
[11:55:26 AM] Holly: Rachelle seemed promising for a minute, but she’s actually pretty dumb
[11:56:24 AM] Neil: like, 4 min into her HOH
[11:56:39 AM] Neil: how does she not know she is being played?
[11:57:03 AM] Holly: If I’m not mistaken didn’t she just straight up ask Sabrina who to nominate?
[11:57:12 AM] Holly: I didn’t even know those two were close
[11:58:06 AM] Neil: I’m pretty sure she did, and i’m pretty sure they weren’t
[11:58:23 AM] Neil: something must have happened between them on after dark
[11:58:38 AM] Neil: because i had no idea they were down like that until she got HOH
[12:00:24 PM] Neil: next thing you know they’re all buddy buddy and braiding each other’s hair and shit
[12:00:29 PM] Neil: singing kumbaya
[12:01:12 PM] Holly: wearing each other’s bras
[12:02:51 PM] Neil: meanwhile, Heather is chillin
[12:02:57 PM] Neil: hangin’ out
[12:03:04 PM] Holly: I’m hating Heather less
[12:03:05 PM] Neil: I will call her super-pawn
[12:04:19 PM] Holly: don’t get me wrong, her voice is like a dying cat and I’m sure there are two lowly brain cells left in her head
[12:04:27 PM] Holly: but she’s still not as bad as Sabrina
[12:05:30 PM] Neil: she just isn’t as
[12:05:37 PM] Neil: what is the word
[12:05:40 PM] Neil: um
[12:05:44 PM] Neil: deplorable?
[12:05:49 PM] Holly: overdramatic
[12:05:52 PM] Holly: disgusting
[12:06:08 PM] Holly: deplorable works
[12:06:35 PM] Neil: Jon hit her with that smh when she came crying to him haha
[12:07:05 PM] Holly: remember Evel Dicks season?
[12:07:09 PM] Holly: Remember MICHELLE
[12:08:08 PM] Neil: hmmmmm
[12:08:10 PM] Neil: lemme Google
[12:08:57 PM] Holly: wait
[12:08:59 PM] Holly: not Michelle
[12:09:00 PM] Holly: AMBER
[12:09:44 PM] Neil: OH FUCK, HER
[12:09:54 PM] Holly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELNGUG35ATQ
[12:10:15 PM] Neil: she would think about the color blue and start crying
[12:10:22 PM] Neil: please let this be a crying montage
[12:10:26 PM] Holly: that video is awesome
[12:10:59 PM] Neil: and she was an ugly cryer
[12:11:19 PM] Neil: I’m wearing a tank top
[12:11:26 PM] Neil: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
[12:12:00 PM] Holly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsBTh8-j7MM
[12:12:01 PM] Neil: I forgot how much she cried
[12:12:03 PM] Neil: good grief
[12:12:08 PM] Holly: they didn’t show this fight on the show last night
[12:14:09 PM] Neil: what fight?
[12:14:18 PM] Holly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsBTh8-j7MM
[12:14:27 PM] Holly: you missed the link here it is again
[12:17:05 PM] Neil: hmmmm
[12:17:14 PM] Neil: is Sabrina french?
[12:17:19 PM] Neil: she’s from laval, isn’t she?
[12:20:06 PM] Holly: yeah she is
[12:20:30 PM] Holly: so this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPEt0KfnPnQ
[12:20:48 PM] Holly: is where Sabrina claims Ika “bumped her” on the stairs
[12:21:10 PM] Neil: I was gon say, that accent gets thrown in the bushes for the live show
[12:21:49 PM] Holly: did you watch that video?
[12:21:58 PM] Neil: trying to
[12:22:01 PM] Neil: come on now
[12:22:10 PM] Neil: my laptop is JUST closing the first video
[12:22:24 PM] Holly: k, tell me when, I have the aftermath to send too
[12:24:06 PM] Neil: uh
[12:24:08 PM] Neil: okay
[12:24:29 PM] Holly: uh what
[12:25:25 PM] Neil: like, that doesn’t qualify as a bump
[12:25:31 PM] Holly: not even a little
[12:25:41 PM] Neil: i was expecting her to throw an elbow and be like, WHAT BITCH
[12:25:45 PM] Holly: and here’s the video of Sabrina right after the fight with Ika outside
[12:25:46 PM] Holly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OibMOLKhrtM&feature=youtu.be&t=1m55s
[12:26:11 PM] Neil: while my shit loads
[12:26:14 PM] Neil: BRIEF ASIDE
[12:26:17 PM] Neil: Archer
Hey y’all, it’s #Cherlene.
Gross, my fiddle smells like Pam.
[12:27:03 PM] Neil: SHE THREATENED ME
[12:27:07 PM] Neil: YOU FUCKING PUNK
[12:27:51 PM] Neil: alright, changed
[12:27:55 PM] Neil: she gotta go
[12:29:32 PM] Holly: what’s the archer thing from?
[12:29:36 PM] Holly: and yeah, shes a liar
[12:30:04 PM] Neil: i saw in on Facebook, might be an advert for that country album they’re hawking
[12:30:21 PM] Holly: diddle fiddle
[12:30:25 PM] Neil: but yeah
[12:30:28 PM] Neil: fuck her, man
[12:30:33 PM] Neil: she’s gon get found out
[12:30:47 PM] Holly: she’s just the worst
[12:30:51 PM] Neil: and then she’ll suck up to anyone
[12:31:05 PM] Neil: all that puppetmaster shit will be a thing of the past
[12:31:18 PM] Holly: being that overdramatic is terrible game play
[12:31:36 PM] Holly: make sure you vote her ass up on the Big Brother slice website
[12:32:30 PM] Holly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27isRATMJJY
[12:32:41 PM] Holly: The FINALE. Diary room called her out on her lies
[12:33:38 PM] Neil: voted for Sabrina and Kenny
[12:33:44 PM] Neil: just once, tho
[12:33:50 PM] Neil: I don’t care enough to sign up
[12:34:39 PM] Holly: http://youtu.be/E1fu48_H2ss?t=22s
[12:34:42 PM] Holly: hahahahahaha
[12:35:18 PM] Neil: they are so seeing through her bullshit
[12:38:01 PM] Neil: STOP FUCKING CRYING