Well, crisis averted. My PVR missed the first half of “Four Walls and A Roof”, the third episode of The Walking Dead this season, and I almost threw this recap in the bushes. But I know some good people that helped me to write this, and I’m glad I saw it because it was a solid episode, although the bitchass meter was through the church roof. Let’s go…
-We find out that Gareth and his people have Bob holed up in a school, complete with walkers outside banging on the windows. Gareth tells Bob that he has two options: join or feed them, but I’m pretty sure they went straight to option #2. Bob starts to cry, then laughs maniacally and tells them that he has been bitten, which was expected, and Gareth’s crew start puking all over the place.
-Meanwhile, Sasha has noticed that Bob is missing and gets attacked by two walkers outside, but she kills them before Tyreese and Rick come up behind her. But hell, it could have been anyone. Why do mufuckas continue to go outside in the dark by themselves in this zombie world? No flashlights, torches, none of that shit.
-Sasha runs in the church and accuses the minister, Gabriel, of working with someone outside of the church. Then Rick gets him and asks about the female zombie at the food bank and the “You’ll burn for this” written on the church. As was expected, Gabriel tells a story of locking the doors on his congregation and hearing them being torn apart by the dead, and breaks down in tears. All I hear is, “I’m a bitch-ass mufucka”. And I STILL don’t believe him.
-The group hears someone whistling outside of the church and they run outside to find Bob and a bunch of walkers, which they kill and bring Bob inside. He tells the story of Gareth and the leg, then he refused painkillers as he tells them he has been bitten. They take Bob to Gabriel’s office to lie down and figure out what is next. Abraham is like, “fuck this, we out” and Rick is like, “nah”. This has been coming for a while. Abraham has this mission to get Eugene to Washington, while Rick has been the leader of his group for the majority of the time, so it was only a matter of time.
-Glenn gets between them, and Tara says that she will go with Abraham and ’em if they stay one more night because really, leaving in the middle of the night is stupid. Abraham wants Glenn and Maggie to go too, and after a minute they agree. They gotta have a plan because it doesn’t make any sense for them to go.
-Sasha wants to go with the group to find Gareth, and Tyreese tries to stop her, but she gives him a knife and tells him to put it through Bob’s temple if he dies and starts to turn. Can she trust Tyreese to do this? He has been soft since Carol killed Karen, and we know he let that dude live in the shack. I’m getting tired of brothas being bitchasses this season. KILL SOMEONE OR SOMETHING. Forgiveness, my ass.
-The group leaves to find Gareth, and Gabriel is peeking out the door. I don’t trust this dude as far as I can throw him. Here is my theory: he is running with the dudes that took Beth in the car with the cross on it somehow. He probably doesn’t want to, but hey, he is a bitchass.
-Gareth leads his group to the church and they bumrush the show, telling the remaining people in the church to come out and make this easier. Judith starts to cry, which gives away their location in a locked room, but before Gareth can get to them, Rick and ’em are back and they surround the hunters. Dude who Tyreese let live doesn’t wanna back down, but Abraham with a gun to his head changes that quickly. Gareth tries to plead with Rick and says that if he lets them go, they won’t cross paths again. Rick counters with the fact that they will do this to someone else and the group proceeds to absolutely slaughter the shit out of the hunters, led by Rick goin’ ham on Gareth with a machete. At least he learned after the Governor, right. No-fucks-left-to-give Rick is greatness.
-Gabriel says that this is the Lord’s house, and Maggie is like, “nah bruh, this is just four walls and a roof”. In other words, cut that bitchassness out.
-Everyone gathers to say goodbye to Bob, who is on his last legs, and he thanks Rick for taking him in and being a good person, which Rick still is, but he now understands that certain shit needs to be done, and mufuckas gotta die if they present a threat. Sasha is there as Bob does and she is about to stab him in the head, but Tyreese volunteers and what do you know, he does it. This better be the end of bitchass Ty-Ty.
-Abraham and ‘me prepare to leave in the bus they fixed, and gives Rick a map where they are going, along with a message that apologizes for being an asshole and the new world needs Rick. They leave with Glenn and Maggie, as well as Tara and this threesome gotta happen, because I don’t want to follow these mufuckas to Washington. Again, like last week’s episode-ending car chase, I have no idea where mufuckas are getting gas, but ya gotta let some shit slide, I guess.
-At night, Michonne is outside with her sword, which the hunters had and while I chastise them for being outside by themselves at night, Michonne can handle herself just fine. Gabriel joins her for a minute, but they hear a noise and he runs inside because, well, bitchass. Michonne gets to the tree line and there is Daryl, but he looks out of sorts and when Michonne asks where Carol is, he turns to someone to come out from the shadows, and the episode ends.
So, another threat is extinguished, but you know some other shit is always lurking around the corner on The Walking Dead. Who the hell was Daryl talking to? The preview for next week looks like it’ll focus on Beth, so I assume it’ll be her and the people that kidnapped her, who will be more than meets the eye. I wonder if she will ask about Maggie? That’ll be more than Maggie did. Stay tuned.