The Walking Dead S05E07 – Crossed

We hit the penultimate episode of The Walking Dead‘s half-season with everything in front of us. The mission: rescue Killa Carol and Beth from the hospital, which is being guarded by one half-decent cop in my estimation. “Crossed”, however, was a bit underwhelming. I didn’t hate it, but I certainly didn’t love it. Let’s go….

-The group is at the church, fortifying it for, well, anything. Sasha is chopping up church pews, working out some of her frustration over BBQ Bob’s death. Gabriel says to Daryl, who is grabbing some steel beams, “Y’all gon use the crosses next?” and Daryl replies, “if we need them”. He also walks in on a crying Judith like he’s gon’ do something with her, then he starts tryna scratch the bloodstains from the Terminus massacre off the floor. More on Gabriel in a bit, but this cat is not trustworthy at all.

-Rick doesn’t want leave Carl and Judith at the church, but he feels like he owes Carol for saving them at Terminus, so he is going. So are Tyreese and Sasha, if Tyreese can ever stop tryna talk about feelings and shit. Leave her alone, she’ll be aight once she kills a mufucka or two.

-Eugene is still knocked out like Deebo in “Friday”, and Abraham is still on his knees looking into the distance. That is, until Rosa yells at him and he stands up right quick and she’s like, probably shouldn’t have done that. Maggie puts the gun on him, though, and you know she woulda killed him if she had to.

-Carl is tryna explain to Gabriel that he needs to know to use a weapon, so Gabriel chooses a machete. Older Carl has moved up the ranks with the quickness, but Gabriel ain’t built for this unless he is one helluva actor.

-Rick is putting together his plan to get to the hospital, which involves a lot of gun-buckin’ and of course, Tyreese is tryna do it on some peaceful shit. Daryl is going along with it too, but you never know with him because he’ll leave a person under a bookshelf for a walker in a minute, then escape with him. Rick agrees, but you know he won’t hesitate to bust his gun.

-Back at the hospital, a cop is tryna convince Dawn to stop wasting resources on Carol, who has only been there a day. Dawn agrees and Beth is like, this dude is charging DVDs like shit is a Best Buy, and you wanna kill this woman? Then the cop leaves and Dawn admits that she isn’t in control, but she does give Beth a key to the drug locker that has something that will help Carol. Dawn ain’t shit, and Beth better get to slap her at least once.

-Glenn, Tara and Rosa decide to go and get water, and leaving Maggie with a large, angry man on whom she pulled a gun on seems like an awful idea. That being said, Maggie tells Abe to get over himself and he isn’t the only one to lose something today. She hasn’t done a lot outside of not give a damn about her sister, but Maggie has had a couple memorable lines so far.

-Beth goes to the doctor and asks for the name of the stuff that’ll help Carol, and after a minute, he tells her. But can she even trust this dude, he has lied to her before.

-Glenn, Tara and Rosa are chillin’ by the stream, and we learn that Rosa met up with Abe in Dallas and asked for her help, so she rolled with him and Eugene. Dallas to DC through Atlanta seems like a roundabout route, but I guess you do what you gotta do in the zombie apocalypse.

-Rick and his people execute the plan, using Noah as bait and they roll up on two cops, one of who knows Rick was a cop from the way he carried himself. I forget Rick was a cop myself, but it turns out he was right because a car comes out of nowhere and starts to shooting at them to rescue the cops. After a brief chase, they find the car abandoned amongst a slew of walkers that have been melted into the ground. The zombie budget has been one of the best parts of The Walking Dead this half-season.

-Of course, Daryl decides to hang back and check a trailer as the group advances and gets tackled by a cop. They fight and the cop is getting the upper hand, and the walkers are getting closer to Daryl, who grabs one of them by the eyes, rips his head off and hits the cop with it. That has to be the zombie kill of the half-season, right? Then Rick shoots a walker in the head and pulls the gun on the cop. He wants to kill him, but good Daryl tells him not to and Rick obliges. He needs to stop listening to people.

-So now they have three hostages, and one of the cops are telling Rick about Dawn and how to talk to her. This lightskin dude is pretty convincing and I trust him, which means something bad is about to happen. You’d think I would learn after five seasons.

-Meanwhile, Glenn and ’em are filtering water through clothes and tryna catch fish. They’re successful and I don’t care. Tara finds a yo-yo and she’s partyin’. This shit is a waste of time.

-Michonne is tryna talk to Gabriel, who won’t come out of his room and we learn that he is using the machete to take out the floorboards. Whatcha hidin’, bruh?

-Here comes my favorite part of the episode. Beth bribes an old man with strawberries to fake like he can’t breathe so she can sneak in and grab the drugs for Carol. This old man drops to the floor and attracts four cops who don’t even notice Beth in there or when she walks out. But the old man does because he all but asks her, you done in there and damn near winks, and as soon she leaves, he’s like, I’m good now, y’all. It was so ridiculous and good. They seem to be trying really hard to change the perception of Beth, and I get it, they’re just terrible at it. Anyway, she gets the drugs to Carol, and now we wait.

-Tyreese is still tryna talk to Sasha and soften her up at the worst possible time. Dude, stick to the task at hand. No time for shook ones now. I’m thisclose to wishing death on Tyreese.

-Gabriel takes out the floorboards and crawls out through the bottom of the church for some reason. He literally takes one step and it is on a nail, which is fitting. He pulls it out and keeps going and hears something, and it is a walker. They fight for a bit before he slams her on a stick and is about to throw a rock on her head before he notices a cross on her chain. Someone from his congregation, perhaps? Either way, we get another example of Gabriel not being built for this.

-Maggie asks Abe if he wanted her to shoot him and he thought he did, but he didn’t. Meanwhile, Eugene finally starts to wake up while Glenn and ’em return with three minnows, a yo-yo and a muddy backpack. Good grief.

-The rest of the group leaves Sasha with the lightskin cop, who tells her a story of how he knew a walker out in the parking lot that was going on a call that he was supposed to go on. Sasha, who is all mushy and soft now because of Tyreese, offers to shoot the walker, and as soon as I saw the cop standing behind her, I was like, oh for fuck sakes. He runs her into a window and knocks her out. I blame this all on Tyreese. Get out of your feelings until this shit is over.

I’m torn over “Crossed” which could refer to Gabriel asking Daryl about using the cross to fortify the church, the crosses on the back of the cop car or the double-cross that the cop pulled. There was a lot of dialogue that didn’t matter and a lot of the characters made awful decisions, but the action was pretty good and Daryl’s kill was fantastic. Still, my biggest problem with the episode is that, this is why people get mad when the group is split up. The Walking Dead isn’t built for multiple storylines, not like the comics; it is much better as a show when it is focused on one thing. “Crossed” was all over the place and didn’t say anything, but hey, that’s just me.

I just feel it should have been better for an episode that was essentially Part 1 of a two-part half-season finale. But the preview for next week seems promising and I’ll certainly be here for the finale of The Walking Dead.

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