American Horror Story: Freak Show returns for its stretch run and while I thought there was only one episode left after “Magical Thinking”, it turns out there are two. This is important because there was no way they could successfully wrap this up in one more episodes. Let’s go…..
-We find out that, two days ago (from what, I’m still not sure), Stanley is still tryna chat up Jimmy in jail, and Stanley throws out the plan that Jimmy could afford a good lawyer if he gives up his left hand. If he doesn’t, Stanley tells him he could end up like Meep, which is very likely, and he gives Jimmy a bottle of something. We all know they won’t end well, and of course, Jimmy starts puking right away, and Stanley starts yelling at the guard to get an ambulance there. I’m still not sure what to think of Denis O’Hare. I don’t know if he’s good, or he’s good in something as ridiculous as AHS.
-Stanley obviously has an ambulance on deck, driven by the fake doctor that couldn’t remember his lines from a few episodes ago, and he puts Stanley under so they can start. Jimmy wakes up in a hospital and realizes that something happened, and he needs something for the pain, but the nurse is like, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAP, you killed one of my homegirls at the tupperware party massacre. Poor Jimmy; mufucka is in too much pain to say, “IT WASN’T ME”. He looks down and notices that he is missing not just one, but two hands. Because why wouldn’t Stanley take both hands? How are people still trusting this dude? Anyway, welcome back, American Horror Story.
-The twins are happy, completely down with the freak show way of life. Dot has what I think is a beer or some sort of alcohol, Bette is making dirty jokes, and the plan is that they’re tryna have sex with someone. They don’t even need the diaries anymore because they’re that content with life now on some “Twins Gone Wild” shit. They walk into the big top to find a new person who just had to see what the freak show was all about: Chester Creb, who handles lizards apparently, he was in the Army and does some magic as well. Neil Patrick Harris finally makes his AHS appearance and I heard a while ago that he was gon’ be on, but I forgot about it until we saw his name in the opening credits. He also has a thing for magic in real life, I learned from his Nerdist Podcast episode. So you obviously have to think something is up with him because NPH isn’t playing a bit character. He is also a travelling salesman, and Dot says in her head, “you know what they say about them”. Um, what DO they say about travelling salesmen? And now that I think about it……Theo Huxtable (I can’t remember dude’s AHS name for the life of me) is also a travelling salesman….he and Chester on some tag-team shit?
-Dell goes to visit Jimmy in the hospital, and Michael Chilikis does some good overacting when he realizes what is going on with Stanley and Jimmy’s lack of hands. Dell tells him the story of why he doesn’t have the lobster claws, although his pops and brother did, and was chastised for being normal, so he booked when jimmy was born. Meanwhile, Jimmy is looking at his food like, hey, a little help here. It was a nice moment and all, but Dell killing Ma Petite destroys any sympathy you might have for him.
-Chester does his magic act for Elsa, who is looking to sell the freak show, remember, but she isn’t feeling the magic act. What she is feeling, however, is his organizational skills and she asks him to join the show as a de facto accountant. We also find out that Chester has some ventriloquist skills and a doll named Marjorie, who is very, um, involved in his life. After his little spiel about joining a family, he goes back to his trailer and we find out that Marjorie speaks, and I just can’t figure out where her voice is from…….until my homegirl blurts out, “PRETTY GIRL!”. BAM…..it’s Jamie Brewer, also known as the young daughter from Murder House (she just wanted to be a pretty girl, you know), and Nan from Coven. Well done, Ryan Murphy, well done.
-Then Paul walks in and is like, uhhhhhhhhhh, I heard voices, bruh, and Chester gives him some shit about rehearsing. Paul doesn’t buy it at all like, this mufucka is crazy as shit. But then we get a shot of Chester looking in a mirror, and the human version of Marjorie is behind him, but then he turns around and she is a doll again, but giggling. Oh man…….OH MAN.
-Dell runs up on Elsa, who is packing up her things with Eve, and he tells her what Stanley has done with Jimmy’s hands, but Elsa ain’t tryna hear it and kicks him out. Eve follows him and she’s willing to overlook their past beef as she wants to help Dell out with the Stanley situation. Dell knows how Eve gets down and ain’t tryna get that ass kicked again, so he’s down with the plan.
-The twins are chillin’ when Chester comes by their trailer, and he comes by with some magic tricks. They’re all amazed by his tricks, or they’re just acting so they can get what they want, which is the D. But he has other ideas as Chester tells them that he found some old props, and one of them is the box from the saw-mufuckas-in-half trick (that is the technical name for it, I looked). He explains to them how it works and that he wants them to be his assistants, because they’re beautiful and such. My question is, why is he wearing so much makeup during the trick? I didn’t know magicians needed that much makeup, but whatever. We go to one of his flashbacks from when Chester was in the Army, and there are two women making out on a bed, so he is comfortable with threesomes……but, um, yeah, he is sitting in the corner with Marjorie the doll, just watching. Nah…..not creepy at all, jeez.
-The cops are taking Jimmy out of the hospital and back to the station, when their truck is attacked by Dell and Eve, who stands in the middle of the road to throw a brick through the window, then jumps out of the way in some of the worst CGI I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if CGI is even the right term, but it was so ridiculously awesome, even better the second time around. Dell beats the dogshit outta one cop with a crowbar while Eve sorts the other one out, and they get Jimmy outta dodge.
-The twins are playin’ that sexy music, getting ready to visit Chester , who is talking to Marjorie and I’m so confused as to who can hear her. Is it all in his head? Can other people hear it? I think the latter is true because Paul said he heard voices, but you never know with American Horror Story. Even the twins are like, that is excellent how you can throw your voice like that and Chester is like, uuuuuuh, yeah, that was me. Anyway, the twins don’t waste any time and ask him if he’ll take their virginity. Chester is down, but he starts to get a headache and a piercing noise comes out of nowhere. Go to another flashback, and the women are making out again while he watches with the doll, and the women are like, okay, you need to get rid of that shit. We learn that it is his wife, who started a lesbian relationship while he was in the war, and his wife’s girlfriend was like, I’ma make these two fingers disappear….IN YOUR WIFE. And again, with the piercing noise. The twins are like, we know what will help with that: tittays. They place his hand on their chest and things are about to get poppin’, but Chester is like, I need the doll and they’re like, man, whatever, let’s just do this, weirdo. So, the sex gets had on the floor.
-SPLIT SCREEN SEX! Coming to the next edition of Grand Theft Auto, I bet.
-So, we head over to Mott Manor, where the cop that killed Precious for Dandy has done some investigating and tells Dandy that the twins are fuckin’ with Chester now. Dandy gets that murderous cry look going and keeps repeating, “they were supposed to be mine”. Oh yeah….mufuckas gon’ die.
-We get a cool nighttime shot of the freak show, and Chester is tryna put Marjorie in a box, and she is not having it at all. Go back to another flashback of his wife’s girlfriend, who hid Marjorie and starts shitting on dude for still wearing his uniform four years later, and needing a doll to get an erection. He doesn’t care about his wife cheating, this woman destroying his entire existence, just give him the doll back. He looks over the woman’s shoulder and sees human Marjorie saying they need to get rid of her and his wife, then Paul walks in like, dude, if you can stop talkin’ to yourself for one friggin’ minute, Elsa wants to talk to you. Good Lord, Chester’s character is a hot mess.
-Turns out Elsa wants to sell the freak show to Chester before she leaves, but he wants to make Marjorie the headliner and not only that, he wants to give her Elsa’s room. Jessica Lange’s face during this entire scene is priceless. Lookin’ at Chester like, you wanna do what for this doll, now? Word? WORD?
-Chester goes back to his trailer and Marjorie is gone again, which is great timing because the cops roll up to the freak show looking for Jimmy after the Dell/Eve escape. They’re pissed because cops are dead, and they encounter Chester’s crazy ass yelling about them finding the doll and again, Elsa is like, is this guy fucking serious? The cops are like, wayament, dude is talking about a fucking doll? Chester stumbles off and Elsa is like, look what I gotta deal with. The cops proceed to start tearing the freak show apart.
-Chester is looking for Marjorie throughout the freak show, and he runs into Dandy on the carousel. Dandy’s fur pimp coat might turn out to be one of the top five things that come out of Freak Show, like he just came back from asking bitches where his money was at. Anyway, he feels into Chester being delusional and Dandy has really done his background work or should I say, the cop did. He found out that Chester’s wife and girlfriend were killed by Chester, who told the cops that Marjorie did it and now he is on the run. However, we see that Chester walked into a bloody bedroom where human Marjorie had beaten them with a hammer because they should have let them join in; they should have been included. Hey bruh, Pretty Girl just wanted in on this threesome. Even Dandy looks at Chester like, that’s pretty fucked up, b. That is when you KNOW you’re crazy.
-The way Dandy says, “what a sicko”, right before the cop tells him about the murder was so fucking good. Finn Wittrock, bruh. Dude is a beast in this role.
-Dandy tells Chester that Marjorie is in the big top and there she is, eating grapes and shit. She demands to get top billing, but not only that, she orders Chester to saw the twins in half. Basically, she did the dirty work last time, it’s his turn. I’m thinking she is like his dark passenger, like in Dexter. Also, with NPH in the house, we’re about to get the musical number to end all AHS musical numbers.
-Maggie shows up in Elsa’s room, saying she has something to show her. Meanwhile, Desiree is waiting for Dell in his trailer, and she has a gun, saying they have a lot to talk about. He admits killing the cops when he broke Jimmy out, but Desiree is like, you did some other shit, too. While this is going on, we see Maggie leading Elsa to the jar that has Ma Petite in it, and Desiree gets Dell to cop to that as well. That’s all Elsa needed to hear, because she shoots Dell in the back of the head.
-Apparently, this morbidity museum doesn’t have a lick of security, because you can just walk the fuck out with a jar containing a dead little person.
I definitely like this episode better after the second time I watched it, and I think it’s because I know there are two episodes left after this instead of one. That means a little more time to flesh out this Chester storyline, but AHS is notorious for bringing some new shit with like, two episodes to go, and then the conclusion feels rushed.
Our AHS crew also asks the question of Elsa and the connection to Asylum, which we saw in “Orphans”. Does Elsa go crazy after moving to Hollywood and end up as the nun at Briarcliff? After Ep.10, none of that shit is off the table in American Horror Story: Freak Show.