Monthly Archives: February 2015

The Walking Dead S05E11 – The Distance

After miraculously surviving a storm, The Walking Dead meets up with a new person, who finds out that trust isn’t really on the agenda for the group (well, at first and only some of them). And why should it be? Last time they tried trusting mufuckas, calf muscles got eaten. How far will they go into “The Distance”? Let’s go…..

-The group are puttering around in the barn, cleaning weapons, sitting there, looking miserable, when Maggie and Sasha walk in with Aaron, the stranger from the end of “Them”. All weapons get pulled on Aaron, who is playing nice enough, tryna make jokes and shit. Still, that “dance troupe” he says when Maggie says he wants them to audition for his group is the type of shit that gets people gunned up and clapped quick. This ain’t the improv, bruh. Get on with what you want. He shows Rick a picture of his community with huge walls, and it looks like they’re to keep things out, but it could be to keep shit in. He keeps talking and talking and talking and Rick is like, fuck this and punches ol’ boy in the face. Seriously though, shit was getting annoying.

-Rick tries to get the troops sorted to watch for an attack, while Michonne thinks it is overreacting and that Aaron is a good guy. Like they didn’t just go through Terminus and Woodbury. I get it, I guess, but hey, strike first, figure it out later. Rick asks Aaron how many of his people are out there and Aaron is right, he could have said any number between 8 and 444 and he wouldn’t be trusted. The flare gun he has is suspicious, I gotta say. Aaron talks a lot. Enough that I wouldn’t trust him.

-Then Aaron brings up that he has vehicles to drive everyone to the community, but I don’t think telling Rick that he could have set the barn on fire and picked them off one by one was a good idea. It’s true, but not a good idea. Then Michonne and Rick get into a little back-and-forth about whether Aaron is telling the truth or not, and she says some shit about it being a place for Judith to live. A lot of people have wondered what is up with them, and I’m leaning towards, they’re fuckin’, at least. She’s been getting bold with him lately. Anyway, she takes a group to check out Aaron’s vehicles and he says to Rick, y’all won’t kill me, to which Rick replies, oh you don’t think, huh? If they’re not back in an hour, Aaron gets a knife in the base of his skull.

-Glenn, Michonne, Maggie, Rosa and Abe are walking down a road and Glenn says to shoot anyone that comes outta the woods, and Michonne disagrees, and now I’m like, where the hell did trusting Michonne come from? She says that shit did work out when they trusted people, saving Gabriel (which was a terrible idea, they should have just killed him where they found him) and Tara (again, probably should have died a while ago), and even Michonne herself. Yeah, cool, what about the mufuckas that were eating people? What about the Governor? Let’s have a trial about all this shit and see who wins. I hate doing this to Michonne, but yeah, all this humanity shit she’s talking? Where does that get you in The Walking Dead? Didn’t we JUST go through this with Tyreese? Jeez. Anyway, the shot widens out and we see someone crouched behind a tractor. Aaron’s people? Gotta be.

-Rick is crushing up some nuts for Judith, while Aaron points out that her crying will attract walkers (or roamers, as he calls them), and he should give her some applesauce that Aaron has in his bag. Rick tells Aaron to eat some first to prove that it isn’t tainted, and he puts up a fuss, but man, fuck him, you better eat this applesauce, dogg. I don’t care about your mom making you eat it (to make you more manly? Okay, I didn’t know that was a thing), you’re gon’ eat this applesauce whether you like it or not.

-The group outside finds the vehicles and they run into a couple of walkers, and Abe goes to kill one, but stumbles and Rosa has his back. That bottle of whiskey yesterday probably wasn’t the best of ideas. They sweep the RV, but Abe asks Rosa about what happened with Eugene and whether she thinks Abe would hurt her; she says it’s not him. I have no idea what she means by that, but I’m not really bothered with their relationship anyway, so meh.

-They bring the food back to Rick, who is still wary on the whole situation, but by this point, the group is starting to believe in Aaron and this community. He puts up a little fight, but he’s almost like, alright mufuckas, we’ll do it your way. Michonne takes the lead, so hey girl, this is your shot. You better be right. I don’t think she is, though. Gonna be sad when she dies. Aaron says he wants to drive to the community, but yeah, he has no leg to stand on. Rick decides that they’ll take an alternate route because he still doesn’t trust Aaron.

-They’re driving along with Glenn, Rick, Michonne and Aaron in one vehicle, and they notice Aaron’s license-plate collection, which is weird, but sure, gotta have a hobby in the zombie apocalypse, I guess. Then Aaron shows Michonne some pictures of his home, and she notices that there are no pictures of people, so she asks Rick if he asked Aaron “the questions”. He answers, but not convincingly (he has killed a lot of walkers, only two people, because they tried to kill him). Rick finds a radio that Aaron was using to listen to their conversations, which must be how he knew Rick’s name, but that’s a red flag for me. Just then, they run into a herd of walkers, literally, because they’re driving straight through mufuckas, blood and guts all over the car. They notice the other car is gone, but of course, their car won’t start because the engine is filled with walker pieces. The shot looking through the blood-stained windshield of the car at the walkers coming towards Rick and ’em is pretty stellar.

-Then, they notice a flare and obviously the car isn’t going to start again. Aaron wants to leave, but the group says no and Aaron says fuck it anyway, and kicks open the door, hitting Michonne. Everyone gets separated, and Glenn almost gets got. Personally, I thought he was done, but he smashes the walker’s head on a rock. Then he saves Aaron, who is trapped against a tree, and I flash back to Tyreese letting that Martin dude live in the cabin. Seriously, we JUST went through all of this.

-The four get back together and head towards the flare, where everyone reunites and it’s all sunshine and puppies. But Aaron is yelling for some dude named Eric, who he finds in a room with a broken ankle, and they kiss. Look at The Walking Dead! We got the blacks and the gays and the asians and the women and OMG WE’RE SO DIVERSE. It’s a good thing, obviously, it just made me laugh. Anyway, the two have a little conversation about a lost car and a license plate, which doesn’t seem to have anything to do with anything. The group decides to sleep for the night and Rick doesn’t want to let the two sleep in the same room, but Glenn is like, come on, bruh, let ’em cook. I guess. Everyone is so damn trusting now.

-The journey continues to this community, and Noah gives Aaron some pills for Eric’s ankle, since Noah knows all about having weak ankles; Aaron tells him about a doctor that is at the community, which means this mufucka probably puts zombie pieces back together on some Frankenstein shit. They see the Washington skyline in the distance and Abe says they’re going to get there even though the battery in the RV is struggling, so of course, they end up breaking down because this group doesn’t know how to not jinx shit. However, Glenn knows there is a spare battery in the RV, so shoutout to Dale’s bitch ass. Michonne and Rick are off to the side, and Michonne starts going on about him needing to drop the fight, saying that is over and everything is all good now. I think it’s all a bunch of horseshit, but sure, whatever you need to tell yourself, homegirl. You gotta keep some of that fight, learn to harness it. If you think this is over, you got another thing coming. Rick smartens up and hides a gun in a blender just in case shit gotta pop off.

-The group gets to the gate, Michonne puts her hand on Rick’s, Carol tells him that he’s still right even though he was wrong as they wait to see what is inside.

So, we have the next phase of The Walking Dead, which is the Alexandria Safe-Zone, which I think to be ironic because nowhere is safe in this world or else, we wouldn’t have a show, right? Something is up with the other group because there is ALWAYS something up with the other group, and it’s just a matter of Rick catching it in time before someone dies, which probably won’t happen. My money is on Eugene, Abe or Rosa, although Michonne is creeping up the ladder because she’s on some “heal the world” shit now, and we all know how far that goes in The Walking Dead. I could be wrong, I very well might be, but I’ve watched this show too long to trust anyone.

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The Walking Dead S05E10 – Them

The Walking Dead continued their trend of giving us some big stuff, then slowing it down a little with “Them” and really, it was to be expected. This happens every season and people still get mad. You can’t kill off a character every episode (although lately, they’ve been giving it a go), and there can’t be zombie-killing parties every week (but there were still enough zombies to make y’all happy, right? Probably not). Let’s go…..

-We open with Maggie, still being sad and leaning on a tree as a walker approaches her. She has this look of utter disgust on her face like, “NOT FUCKING NOW” and stabs it in the head….and continues to cry. Meanwhile, Daryl is diggin’ up worms in the dry dirt and eating them because, why not at this point? Sasha is walking along what looks like a former stream, but everything is dried up, as shown by the dead frogs, which she should have taken for food. Isn’t that what people do? Anyway, they really should have just named this episode, “Fed Up”.

-They walk back to the group with no food or water, and the group didn’t find any either as they’re sitting on the ground around a van. Sasha asks Maggie how she knows they didn’t have any food, but come on Sasha, you woulda heard them partyin’ from the woods if they found something.

-The group runs out of gas and keep walking, but walking in that Georgia heat for a day and a half with no water is getting weary. Rick and Daryl are up ahead a little and Rick says to Daryl something about “we’ll get ’em later, they’re not going anywhere”. I was confused on the first watch because it was 2 AM, but on the second, I noticed the walkers behind them on the road, so that makes sense. Then Rick is tryna get Daryl to talk about his Beth feelings, and Daryl is like, feed your damn baby. But Rick says that it should rain at some point, and I got to thinking, it hasn’t rained in like….I honestly can’t remember the last time it rained on The Walking Dead. At the farmhouse, maybe?

-Carl gives Maggie a music box to remind her of Beth, and thus begins a lot of interaction between characters that have been around each other for a while now, but have never really conversed. I don’t think I remember a time where Maggie and Carl have said two words to each other, with the exception of Lori’s death/Judith’s birth. Meanwhile, Gabriel tries to talk to Maggie about losing her father and sister, and she is absolutely not having it because he didn’t know them, so stop the shit, basically. Then she throws it in his face that he left his congregation outside the church to die, and it was great. The only thing stopping Maggie from going full-on nuts is Glenn, which means I now want him to die.

-The walkers are slowly catching up to the group, and Sasha wants to go back and deal with them, but Michonne tells her to conserve her energy. Then Sasha says she can do it herself, and Michonne compares her to Tyrese, saying he got mad and it made him stupid, and she’s right. Wasn’t Sasha on the brink of death at the prison? She needs to chill.

-Carol and Daryl are out in the woods looking for water, and Carol tells Daryl that Beth saved her life, and to get these feelings out. She also gives Daryl a knife that belonged to Beth and repeats her “we’re not dead” mantra. Then she gives a kiss on the forehead and says that he’ll get it out. Y’all who want Daryl and Carol to get together are creepy, bruh. She’s like his mom, or aunt, that would throw the whole thing off and besides, it would have happened by now. Stop being gross.

-The group stops at a bridge and waits for the walkers to get to them, and instead of wasting energy trying to kill them, they just push them down a hill. Shit, a couple of them just fell down the hill themselves. But then Sasha tries to act hard and starts killing walkers, which means now everyone gotta kill walkers. She ends up cutting Abe on the arm, while Daryl just rips a walker’s scalp off as he’s about to get Rick. After they’re done, Michonne grabs Sasha and says, “I told you to stop” and Sasha looks like she’s about to step to Michonne, who gives her that “you better sit the fuck down” look. You know that look Moms used to give ya? It was that. If this is the Ricktatorship, Carol and Michonne better be the VPs. They be killin’ and nurturin’ at the same damn time.

-They find a group of cars with nothing in them, although Maggie does find a walker tied up in the trunk and I would think that would make you wonder how she got there. She shuts the trunk and hears the banging and wants to go back and kill it, but of course, she can’t open the trunk that she just opened. She is about to shoot the trunk open, but Glenn stops her and when he gets it open, he kills it. I don’t know why she was so pressed about that walker, but I rarely know what Maggie is doing anymore.

-Daryl is out in the woods, where he finds a deer carcass and I was like, “Daryl about to cry over this damn deer”, but not yet. Meanwhile, the group is chillin’ on the road and they hear thunder, which means the rain is about to come. Abe pulls out a bottle of booze from God knows where and everyone acknowledges that will make things worse, with the dehydration and whatnot. Then, of course, Eugene steps up with the, “I don’t think things can get worse”. They shoulda just left him unconscious on the fire truck. Right on cue, a group of mangy-ass dogs come out of the woods and looks like they’re about to attack, but Sasha Vick steps up with the rifle and takes all of them out. PETA about to be so mad. Rick is like, well, I got no shame and gets a stick. We about to BBQ, y’all. Is it wrong that I wonder what dog tastes like? And why is Noah being a punk and not eating? I have a plan: let’s put Noah, Gabriel and Eugene in a group and see how far they get. I’d watch that.

-Gabriel takes off his collar and throws it in the fire, which Maggie notices. I don’t care if he takes off 13 collars, that still don’t make him any less of a bitch. He’ll try to prove he’s tough and either get killed, or get someone killed. I can’t wait.

-Maggie tells Glenn that she never thought Beth was alive after the prison, then she thought that she was, then she wasn’t, and man, I’m actually starting to believe her. She wants to give up, but Glenn isn’t havin’ it. Abe tries to tell Sasha that she’s a time bomb, and Sasha tells him that they’re not friends. Abe is like, whatever, more booze for me. Glenn then tries to talk to Daryl, but Daryl refuses his water and wanders off in the woods, where he has a cabin. He sits by a tree and has a smoke, and I’m waiting for the tears. NOAP. He puts the cigarette out on his hand, and then he starts to cry. I wonder if Norman Reedus just needs to burn himself with smokes to fake-cry. That would SUCK.

-He returns to the group and Rick gives him a sign that says, “From A Friend”. There is also a bunch of water and while everyone else thinks it’s a trick, he says they’re already in it (fine, fair enough) and tries to drink it, but Abe slaps the bottle out of his hand. Still tryna protect Eugene, but Abe is a soldier. But like Rick said, the rain is a-comin’ and it starts to pour. Everyone is partyin’ except for Judith who is like, “y’all don’t get me the fuck inside”. They smartly fill up their water bottles, but Gabriel asks for forgiveness. Grab a bottle, fuckboy. Anyway, Daryl tells them about the barn/cabin thing and they head there for shelter.

-They’re sweeping the place, and Maggie finds a Bible along with a walker that can’t seem to get up. A walker that can’t stand, one tied up in a trunk….something ain’t adding up. Carol and Maggie have a little conversation about not being able to give up as the walker had a gun, but didn’t shoot herself; another conversation between people that don’t talk often (and my memory is terrible, so I might be completely overblowing this).

-Abe is drinking in a corner and lookin’ at Sasha, and he might be catchin’ that jungle fever. The rest of the group are sitting around, and Michonne shows a little weakness, saying this isn’t the world while everyone is like, until we see otherwise, this is it. Rick tells a story about his grandfather telling himself while he was in the war that he was already dead before each battle, which made it easier to do the things he had to do to survive. This is a speech that makes me wonder if it was lifted right from the comics and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was; the writer of “Them” is Robert Kirkman, who created The Walking Dead comics. When Rick says, “we are the walking dead”, that’s almost a dead giveaway, right?

-Daryl is pacing around when he hears a noise outside, and oh would you look at that, a whole BUNCHA walkers are headed for the door. Luckily, Maggie hears as well and goes to help because Daryl apparently can’t yell (seriously, what are you tryna be quiet for?), and everyone else eventually comes to help as well. It’s the group against the walkers, tryna keep them at bay, and the rain is pouring and the lightning is crashing; yeah, it’s cheesy, but it was an effective scene for what they were tryna portray. Shoutout to the director, David Boyd, who also did “Strangers” , the second episode of this season and some other TWD episodes.

-And then, everything stops, and Maggie is laying beside Glenn, and everything is apparently okay. Daryl is still awake and Maggie goes over to him, and they have their little moment and I’m starting to realize that maybe, it’s just Maggie. She has been basically focused on Glenn since they met, then her father died and she thought her sister was dead. Lauren Cohan is at least in the MVP running now. A darkhorse, but hey, anything can happen.

-You’re damn right anything can happen, because apparently a tornado or something swept through and knocked all the trees on all of the walkers, which is a little bit….um, yeah, it’s The Walking Dead, you just gotta let some shit slide. Maggie and Sasha are chillin’ outside, and Maggie is all positive again and listening to the little music box and everything is sunshine and rainbows….until a dude comes out of nowhere, says that he is a friend, and he would like to speak to Rick. He says his name is Aaron and kinda looks like a cross between Shia LaBoeuf and a young Ben Savage. Maggie and Sasha are like, how you know Rick’s name, though? And the episode ends.

I thought this was a solid, well-written episode and it showed that, when given good material, the actors and actresses on The Walking Dead can carry their weight. But now, onto the important stuff: last week, I saw people talking about the walkers having a “W” scrawled in their forehead. Then, I stumbled upon a screen capture someone did of a barn that the group drove by. On the barn was written, “Wolves Not Far”. So, I’m guessing this Aaron cat is the leader of the Wolves, and nothing good is going to come of this. When has this group ever met some good people? The preview for next week looks like some hot fire.

The Walking Dead S05E09 – What Happened And What’s Going On

The Walking Dead returned from their midseason hiatus (I’m done being mad about that, they’re gon’ do it anyway, so it is what it is) with “What Happened And What’s Going On”, which was the perfect title as it showed some important people from the past, and what the plan is for the next phase of Operation: Don’t Get Bitten, which one of the members failed to do last night. Let’s go………………………..

-We open with someone shoveling dirt, a picture of a house from “The Grove” (probably my favorite TWD episode, the joint with Carol, Lizzie and the flowers), what looks like the sun as someone is driving down the road, and Maggie crying, because we’re still supposed to believe that she cared about Beth and you know what? I give up, sure, I’ll buy it. Noah is crying, over what we think is Beth’s death, and then Pastor Bitchass (Gabriel) is standing over a body. Beth’s? Someone else? Rick, Daryl, Sasha and Glenn are running to secure some vehicles, and then we flash through a few pictures of two black boys, which I assume are Noah and someone else (side note: I may refer to Noah as EHC or Everyone Hates Chris, because I stay forgetting his name). We flash to the prison as well. Kind of an intricate opening that doesn’t make any sense…..but the payoff is worth it.

-Noah tells Rick that Beth was gon’ come with him to Virginia, and Rick decides screw it, we’re going there. Then we see a window with a bullet through it, and a street that again, looks familiar and I wanna say it’s Woodbury, where the Governor and his people were at. Rick tells the group of his plan to go to Virginia because Noah’s family lived in a community with walls, so all can’t be bad, right? We flash a little more to a skeleton on the ground, a drawing of a sun on the ground, the group driving through South Carolina, but it looks like BBQ Bob is driving. We flash to Judith, then to a car with a zombie in it, the train tracks on which the group were walking, someone doing some more dirt-shoveling and then BAM…..little creepy-ass Lizzie and her sister Mika, both with bloody wounds, but Mika looks at the camera and says, “it’s better now”. Then blood starts to drip onto the picture of the Grove cabin, and they hit the music. This seems like a lot of detail to go into for before-the-credits shit, but it’s easily the most important part of the episode, which I got on the second watch.

-Tyreese, Noah, Rick, Michonne and Glenn are almost to Noah’s destination, and Rick touches base with Killa Carol, who is finally getting some leadership shine. Tyreese and Noah start having a conversation about the hospital and Noah says he never wanted to kill anyone until he got there. Tyreese responds that he wanted to as well, but now he doesn’t because he doesn’t want to deal with the aftermath. His pops told him pains were the cost of living, and they had to listen to the news, even the bad stuff because that’s just life. His dad must be looking at him now, somewhere, like “damn, how did I raise this?”. We learn Noah’s dad is gone, but his moms and his brothers (the boys in the picture) are alive. Rick tells Tyreese to pull over so they can go on foot and Noah is like, nah it’s cool, and Rick says, just in case. This means two things: one, I’m the leader and we do as I say and two, dude, we’ve been out in these streets….it ain’t all good.

-They park next to the car with the zombie in it from the opening, and they walk past the skeleton that was on the ground. They cross through some barbed wire to the community, and Noah says there are snipers, but none are out, which can’t be a good thing. Glenn climbs up and checks to see if he sees anything; nothing. Noah starts running when he realizes his family and everyone is gone, and they chase after him. He collapses on the ground, and the group offers their condolences, so now he’s officially with them. The decision is made: make a sweep for supplies. Michonne is in the background, cuttin’ heads off. Can we make her, like, a vice-president or something?

-Rick and Glenn are talking, and Rick says he doesn’t believe Dawn meant to kill Beth, and she absolutely didn’t, she was just reacting to gettin’ stabbed in the shoulder. He also says they came to this place to honor Beth, who wanted to come here with Noah. Meanwhile, Tyreese is back with Noah, who is in no condition to go anywhere, and gave him some speech about not giving up, which he wanted to after Karen died, but he didn’t. Then he ended up babysitting Judith and kept her safe, even though he let that Terminus dude put a knife to her. Damn, I can’t stand this dude. Shit got kinda preachy, so Noah is like, fuck this and starts running towards his old house. Why can’t Tyreese catch up to a limping, crying dude? DAMN, I CAN’T STAND HIM.

-Meanwhile, Rick and Glenn are still talking and Glenn is saying how he lost Maggie, and found here, now they’re going to Washington, then they weren’t, now they are again or something and how Maggie and Glenn wanted to find Beth alive, which is horseshit because they didn’t say one word about…..never mind. This is a problem I have with The Walking Dead sometimes. The writing isn’t good enough to hold down these speeches, but furthermore, they have them at the worst times. Find some supplies, and get outta there. That is when Michonne pipes up like, yo, come the fuck on.

-Noah wants to go in his house, but Tyreese says he’ll go in first and they find Noah’s dead mother, so he puts a blanket over her. Tyreese walks down the hallway because he hears a noise, and all he finds is one of Noah’s brothers that got his guts taken out, but what does he do? He doesn’t continue on to find the noise, he stares at the wall at the pictures from the opening. Meanwhile, behind him, we see a walker sneaking up on him, and I hit that Birdman hand rub like, shit, it’s about to get poppin’. That little walker, the other twin brother, sinks his teeth all in Tyreese’s arm and goes after him, but Noah stabs him in the eye and says he’ll run and get the others. See where feelings gets you in the zombie apocalypse, Tyreese? SEE??????

-This is where it starts to get trippy again. We get more flashes of all the shit from the opening (the sun, the cabin, the prison, the window with the bullet hole, the zombie car), while Tyreese is just sitting there with blood pouring out of his arm. He starts to hallucinate and the first is Martin, the Terminus asshole who Tyreese didn’t kill and he points out that he should have killed him because if he had, this might not have happened….domino shit, as he says. Then BBQ steps up to say that was bullshit and how he died was random, with getting bit at the food bank. Then the Governor appears and reminds Tyreese that he said something about earning your keep, and then Lizzie and Mika tells him it’s okay. He has no idea what is going on, but the Governor turns into a walker and the fight is on. It lasts a little bit and Tyreese gets bit on the same arm again, but he eventually wins and falls to the floor. The walker’s blood drips onto the picture of the cabin.

-Michonne suggests to Rick and Glenn that they stay here, and they don’t think that is a good idea because they don’t have a sight line because of the trees, and something obviously happened to this community. I wanna listen to Michonne and she’s pretty gung-ho about it, until she steps outside and sees a BUNCHA dead bodies so she’s like, you wanna know what? Let’s do this Washington thing. But then they hear Noah scream, and start running. They save Noah as he’s getting attacked, and Michonne hits a zombie, but it breaks her sword. These mufuckas gettin’ stronger? That can’t be good.

-Beth is singing Tyreese, we see the flahes from the opening again, and her lyrics are pretty poignant (Jimmy Cliff’s “Strugglin’ Man” is the song she is singing), but her voice annoys me; do yo’ thang, girl. Lizzie and Mika are still with her and Beth tells Tyreese that it’s okay. Bob tells him that it’s okay to not be a part of this anymore. Basically, they’re telling him that it’s okay to die now, but he’s still fighting. The Governor tells him that he didn’t adapt and that’s why he is where he is. Tyreese is still defiant, saying that the Governor was wrong and it’s not over because he’s stubborn, but the bite on his arm begs to differ. Then he admits that people like him can’t live, but then he says no one has to die today. Yeah, he’s starting to go. The Governor shoves him to the ground because he’s a bitch.

-It looks like the girls are grabbing his hand to bring him to the afterlife, but it’s Rick, holding out his arm so Michonne can chop it off and they can try to cauterize it like they did with Herschel. They start to escape and we see some more stuff from the beginning, like the crew securing vehicles, and they also have to get past a buncha walkers. Noah tries to hold Tyreese up, but fails miserably and almost gets bit before Rick saves him and we see some cool special effects of a bullet going through a head. There is a flash of Carol at the cabin after she shot Lizzie, which is dope. There is also a flash of Sasha stabbing the shit outta Martin at the church. The Governor tells Tyreese that he has to pay the bill as the group gets him through the barbed before a walker comes. Bob tells him that it went the way it had to as Rick tells him to hold on. They pass the skeleton again and get Tyreese into their vehicle; Rick tells Carol to get Sasha and Carl away as they return to try and save Tyreese. Of course, their van gets stuck and ends up hitting a truck that was beside the zombie car, and a buncha severed walkers spill out.

-Tyreese is in the back and he tells the driver to turn the radio off; Bob asks him is he sure, and that is why we saw Bob’s face in the rearview mirror earlier. Beth is driving and tells Tyreese it’s okay for like, the 14th time. The girls are in the back, being creepy and telling him it’s better now, and Bob hits that smile that I need a .gif. The van stops in the middle of the road as Tyreese dies, and the group lays him down. We skip to that shovel and the funeral, which we learn is for Tyreese with his skullcap on a cross, and the group takes turns putting dirt on him. Sasha looks just stunned, and now I’m pulling for her, Maggie and Michonne to form this all-girl killing machine. Sasha is about to go the fuck OFF.

-This is my last will and testament: if y’all are with me in the zombie apocalypse, and I get bitten, just kill me right then and there. Don’t carry me all around and shit. That’s stupid.

What I gathered from “What Happened And What’s Going On” is that you can have all the humanity you want, but in this world of The Walking Dead, at some point, you’re gon’ have to put that shit to the side and be about that life. Look at Herschel, Andrea, Dale and now Tyreese, and I’m sure there are more examples. This humanity shit ain’t gon’ fly in the zombie apocalypse, bruh. Which is why I assume no one will want to roll with me if shit goes down.

But overall, this was a strong return for The Walking Dead, and they’re good at these types of episodes. It was directed by Greg Nicotero, who has now directed nine episodes of the show and is known for being a special-effects master, which is why this was one of the most interestingly shot episodes of The Walking Dead I’ve ever seen. So now, we have a mission: on to Washington, for better or for worse.