The Walking Dead S05E11 – The Distance

After miraculously surviving a storm, The Walking Dead meets up with a new person, who finds out that trust isn’t really on the agenda for the group (well, at first and only some of them). And why should it be? Last time they tried trusting mufuckas, calf muscles got eaten. How far will they go into “The Distance”? Let’s go…..

-The group are puttering around in the barn, cleaning weapons, sitting there, looking miserable, when Maggie and Sasha walk in with Aaron, the stranger from the end of “Them”. All weapons get pulled on Aaron, who is playing nice enough, tryna make jokes and shit. Still, that “dance troupe” he says when Maggie says he wants them to audition for his group is the type of shit that gets people gunned up and clapped quick. This ain’t the improv, bruh. Get on with what you want. He shows Rick a picture of his community with huge walls, and it looks like they’re to keep things out, but it could be to keep shit in. He keeps talking and talking and talking and Rick is like, fuck this and punches ol’ boy in the face. Seriously though, shit was getting annoying.

-Rick tries to get the troops sorted to watch for an attack, while Michonne thinks it is overreacting and that Aaron is a good guy. Like they didn’t just go through Terminus and Woodbury. I get it, I guess, but hey, strike first, figure it out later. Rick asks Aaron how many of his people are out there and Aaron is right, he could have said any number between 8 and 444 and he wouldn’t be trusted. The flare gun he has is suspicious, I gotta say. Aaron talks a lot. Enough that I wouldn’t trust him.

-Then Aaron brings up that he has vehicles to drive everyone to the community, but I don’t think telling Rick that he could have set the barn on fire and picked them off one by one was a good idea. It’s true, but not a good idea. Then Michonne and Rick get into a little back-and-forth about whether Aaron is telling the truth or not, and she says some shit about it being a place for Judith to live. A lot of people have wondered what is up with them, and I’m leaning towards, they’re fuckin’, at least. She’s been getting bold with him lately. Anyway, she takes a group to check out Aaron’s vehicles and he says to Rick, y’all won’t kill me, to which Rick replies, oh you don’t think, huh? If they’re not back in an hour, Aaron gets a knife in the base of his skull.

-Glenn, Michonne, Maggie, Rosa and Abe are walking down a road and Glenn says to shoot anyone that comes outta the woods, and Michonne disagrees, and now I’m like, where the hell did trusting Michonne come from? She says that shit did work out when they trusted people, saving Gabriel (which was a terrible idea, they should have just killed him where they found him) and Tara (again, probably should have died a while ago), and even Michonne herself. Yeah, cool, what about the mufuckas that were eating people? What about the Governor? Let’s have a trial about all this shit and see who wins. I hate doing this to Michonne, but yeah, all this humanity shit she’s talking? Where does that get you in The Walking Dead? Didn’t we JUST go through this with Tyreese? Jeez. Anyway, the shot widens out and we see someone crouched behind a tractor. Aaron’s people? Gotta be.

-Rick is crushing up some nuts for Judith, while Aaron points out that her crying will attract walkers (or roamers, as he calls them), and he should give her some applesauce that Aaron has in his bag. Rick tells Aaron to eat some first to prove that it isn’t tainted, and he puts up a fuss, but man, fuck him, you better eat this applesauce, dogg. I don’t care about your mom making you eat it (to make you more manly? Okay, I didn’t know that was a thing), you’re gon’ eat this applesauce whether you like it or not.

-The group outside finds the vehicles and they run into a couple of walkers, and Abe goes to kill one, but stumbles and Rosa has his back. That bottle of whiskey yesterday probably wasn’t the best of ideas. They sweep the RV, but Abe asks Rosa about what happened with Eugene and whether she thinks Abe would hurt her; she says it’s not him. I have no idea what she means by that, but I’m not really bothered with their relationship anyway, so meh.

-They bring the food back to Rick, who is still wary on the whole situation, but by this point, the group is starting to believe in Aaron and this community. He puts up a little fight, but he’s almost like, alright mufuckas, we’ll do it your way. Michonne takes the lead, so hey girl, this is your shot. You better be right. I don’t think she is, though. Gonna be sad when she dies. Aaron says he wants to drive to the community, but yeah, he has no leg to stand on. Rick decides that they’ll take an alternate route because he still doesn’t trust Aaron.

-They’re driving along with Glenn, Rick, Michonne and Aaron in one vehicle, and they notice Aaron’s license-plate collection, which is weird, but sure, gotta have a hobby in the zombie apocalypse, I guess. Then Aaron shows Michonne some pictures of his home, and she notices that there are no pictures of people, so she asks Rick if he asked Aaron “the questions”. He answers, but not convincingly (he has killed a lot of walkers, only two people, because they tried to kill him). Rick finds a radio that Aaron was using to listen to their conversations, which must be how he knew Rick’s name, but that’s a red flag for me. Just then, they run into a herd of walkers, literally, because they’re driving straight through mufuckas, blood and guts all over the car. They notice the other car is gone, but of course, their car won’t start because the engine is filled with walker pieces. The shot looking through the blood-stained windshield of the car at the walkers coming towards Rick and ’em is pretty stellar.

-Then, they notice a flare and obviously the car isn’t going to start again. Aaron wants to leave, but the group says no and Aaron says fuck it anyway, and kicks open the door, hitting Michonne. Everyone gets separated, and Glenn almost gets got. Personally, I thought he was done, but he smashes the walker’s head on a rock. Then he saves Aaron, who is trapped against a tree, and I flash back to Tyreese letting that Martin dude live in the cabin. Seriously, we JUST went through all of this.

-The four get back together and head towards the flare, where everyone reunites and it’s all sunshine and puppies. But Aaron is yelling for some dude named Eric, who he finds in a room with a broken ankle, and they kiss. Look at The Walking Dead! We got the blacks and the gays and the asians and the women and OMG WE’RE SO DIVERSE. It’s a good thing, obviously, it just made me laugh. Anyway, the two have a little conversation about a lost car and a license plate, which doesn’t seem to have anything to do with anything. The group decides to sleep for the night and Rick doesn’t want to let the two sleep in the same room, but Glenn is like, come on, bruh, let ’em cook. I guess. Everyone is so damn trusting now.

-The journey continues to this community, and Noah gives Aaron some pills for Eric’s ankle, since Noah knows all about having weak ankles; Aaron tells him about a doctor that is at the community, which means this mufucka probably puts zombie pieces back together on some Frankenstein shit. They see the Washington skyline in the distance and Abe says they’re going to get there even though the battery in the RV is struggling, so of course, they end up breaking down because this group doesn’t know how to not jinx shit. However, Glenn knows there is a spare battery in the RV, so shoutout to Dale’s bitch ass. Michonne and Rick are off to the side, and Michonne starts going on about him needing to drop the fight, saying that is over and everything is all good now. I think it’s all a bunch of horseshit, but sure, whatever you need to tell yourself, homegirl. You gotta keep some of that fight, learn to harness it. If you think this is over, you got another thing coming. Rick smartens up and hides a gun in a blender just in case shit gotta pop off.

-The group gets to the gate, Michonne puts her hand on Rick’s, Carol tells him that he’s still right even though he was wrong as they wait to see what is inside.

So, we have the next phase of The Walking Dead, which is the Alexandria Safe-Zone, which I think to be ironic because nowhere is safe in this world or else, we wouldn’t have a show, right? Something is up with the other group because there is ALWAYS something up with the other group, and it’s just a matter of Rick catching it in time before someone dies, which probably won’t happen. My money is on Eugene, Abe or Rosa, although Michonne is creeping up the ladder because she’s on some “heal the world” shit now, and we all know how far that goes in The Walking Dead. I could be wrong, I very well might be, but I’ve watched this show too long to trust anyone.

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