Holly: Alright here we go people!!!
Neil: Look at them all high-tech with the intro!
Holly: It’s like James Bond up in here
Neil: Got that Global money, bruh!
Holly: It’s looks like the inside of the Tardis!
Neil: Oh hai, Arisa
Holly: Her hair isn’t as big as it used to be
Holly: I feel like this is a time travel thing
Holly: Steampunk is all the rage lately
Neil: Steampunk is the new chillwave
Holly: Look at this vault, hiding all the secrets
Neil: Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah, vaults and pop-up remotes and shit
Holly: Lasers everywhere!
Holly: Pew pew pew
Holly: This Zach guy looks like Peter on steroids
Neil: OF COURSE SHE IS FROM CALGARY
Holly: This year’s Heather
Neil: Don’t you have to be sexy to play the sexy role?
Holly: And here comes the Peter look alike
Holly: Acting like a fool
Neil: I already don’t like this guy
Holly: Which one
Neil: The nerd
Holly: How is it fair that this girl lives in New York???
Neil: HEY BOO
Neil: I wanna take her to Subway and shit
Holly: Which one?
Holly: You gotta say who you are talmabout
Neil: Um, the plus size model? I missed her name
Neil: Was lookin’ at dem curves
Neil: Oh wait, the spelling sucks
Holly: Throw a k in there
Holly: I already do not like that weed girl. She is airy as all get out
Neil: I give her two weeks
Neil: And that’s not seeing the other people
Neil: Do they not have bags and stuff?
Holly: They have nothing
Holly: So Canadian. “What the heck??” So polite
Neil: SACKVEGAS HOLLA
Holly: Of course her name is Willow
Neil: Ginger Ninja?
Holly: The peanut gallery agrees with you
Holly: (Shoutout to Candice and Andrew being our peanut gallery)
Holly: Did that guy just have a creepy photo montage of old houseguests on his wall?
Neil: He sure did
Holly: That’s some serial killer shit
Neil: Who coaches baseball in khakis?
Holly: GINGER NINJA DOES
Neil: I’m getting a pet and naming it Have-Not
Neil: You asshole
Holly: Wait, I missed that… is his dogs name actually have not?
Neil: Hahahaha, nah, Veto
Holly: Well that’s just as dumb
Neil: Can I call Phil HOH?
Neil: Since he really does run your household
Holly: You sure can
Holly: OH SHIT
Holly: I just noticed the back of ginger ninjas hair
Holly: It’s a hipster mullet
Neil: WHAT IN THE FUCK
Neil: Okay, so out of the first, my money is on the nerd that I don’t like
Holly: I’m going with Ashleigh because she reminds me of Heather from last year and she was our underdog
Neil: True, but we talked all kinds of shit about Heather for the first few weeks
Holly: I like Kevin
Neil: He looks like Ian from Shameless
Holly: Poker player, he gonna be good at lying
Neil: GODDAMN SHE SET DEM THANGS OUT
Holly: I used to have such a thing for skaters
Neil: I can see that
Neil: DARKSIDE WHAT
Holly: She’s a little much
Holly: Although i would like to see the Dartmouth girl get into it with the Sackville girl
Neil: Yeah I’m not a fan of Mrs. Dressup
Holly: We’re gonna have a milf in the house tho, so there’s that
Holly: She ain’t even have a bra on
Neil: She’s tall as shit too
Neil: Seven feet in heels and shit
Neil: She gon’ let dem thangs hang, go get it, girl
Neil: Oh God, you know she is always on some “Sindy with an S” shit
Holly: I’m Sindy with an S… the S stands for Shut the fuck up
Neil: Um, where is the dark part of that?
Neil: Zach is as white as snow, see, man…..shit
Holly: They’re all pretty white
Neil: I don’t know where Ashleigh got tall, dark and handsome, but hey, being colorblind is cool too
Holly: So whats up with % of them being from Toronto
Neil: There are like, three people from Calgary too
Neil: And a couple from Scotia
Neil: No one from BC, I don’t think
Holly: Yeah there’s a couple
Neil: Oh is there?
Neil: Doctor homegirl doesn’t look impressed at all
Holly: Oh snap they are doing the Big Brother UK voting!! LOVE IT
Neil: Jesus, I wouldn’t even remember names
Neil: Hahahaha atta girl, Ashleigh
Holly: Sindy better go
Neil: I’m spelling it Cindy by the way
Neil: Because fuck that
Holly: Oooh this is so good
Neil: Damn, ain’t no one remember ol’ girl’s name
Holly: Naeha voting for the minorities
Neil: I know I don’t
Holly: Ol stoner girl Sarah is gonna go batshit crazy without weed if she stays
Neil: Hahaha yup
Neil: Get Cindy outta here b
Holly: Risha looks like Canada’s version of Charlize Theron
Neil: She better not go home
Neil: Because I’m shallow
Holly: And she looks evil too, i like it
Neil: And you know she knows who put her up somehow
Neil: and if she gets through this?
Neil: She looks petty as shit
Holly: Milf is DETERMINED
Holly: look at that face
Neil: You’re up because you’re Sindy with a fucking S
Holly: Alright, whats up with making the girls wear shit that their asses are hanging out of?
Holly: Spending more time picking their wedgies than playing the game
Holly: Zach is a dumb dumb
Neil: The next Emmett
Neil: Oh for fuck sakes, Cindy
Holly: Of course cindy is good with numbers
Holly: Oh god Kevin get those numbers!!
Holly: Fucking Cindy
Neil: Oh man, I’m about to be mad all friggin’ season
Holly: Andrew just brought up a good point
Holly: Maybe Sindy with an S has an alter ego called Cindy with a C
Neil: That’s her not-annoying alter ego?
Holly: Or her more annoying alter ego
Neil: Yeah, I’m going with that
Neil: A lot of people voted for Darkside girl
Holly: So weird
Neil: Dartmouth: Hated across Canada even by people that don’t know about it
Holly: Risha is PISSED
Neil: I like both of these girls
Holly: Me too, dude was right, Cindy should have put up a physical threat
Neil: Oh for fuck sakes
Holly: I love this! UK voting!
Holly: So now its all about looking good to the audience, not the houseguests
Neil: We need to figure out who we are voting for
Neil: I’ll prepare a PowerPoint presentation on why Risha needs to stay
Holly: You do that! I expect at least three pie charts about her cleavage by Wednesday
Neil: Tittays: They’re Good And Good For You
Holly: And there’s the bang I was hoping we would end on
Neil: Aight, we’ll do this again Wednesday, bitches, let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Holly: WAKE UP CANADA