Big Brother Canada S03E01 (March 24) – Steampunk Is The New Chillwave

Holly: Alright here we go people!!!

Neil: Look at them all high-tech with the intro!

Holly: It’s like James Bond up in here

Neil: Got that Global money, bruh!

Holly: It’s looks like the inside of the Tardis!

Neil: Oh hai, Arisa

Holly: Her hair isn’t as big as it used to be

Holly: I feel like this is a time travel thing

Neil: Ooooooooooooh

Holly: Steampunk is all the rage lately

Neil: Steampunk is the new chillwave

Holly: Look at this vault, hiding all the secrets

Neil: Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah, vaults and pop-up remotes and shit

Holly: Lasers everywhere!

Holly: Pew pew pew

Holly: This Zach guy looks like Peter on steroids

Neil: OF COURSE SHE IS FROM CALGARY

Holly: This year’s Heather

Neil: Don’t you have to be sexy to play the sexy role?

Holly: And here comes the Peter look alike

Holly: Acting like a fool

Neil: I already don’t like this guy

Holly: Which one

Neil: The nerd

Holly: How is it fair that this girl lives in New York???

Holly: Shenanigans

Neil: HEY BOO

Neil: I wanna take her to Subway and shit

Holly: Which one?

Holly: You gotta say who you are talmabout

Neil: Um, the plus size model? I missed her name

Holly: Britnee

Neil: Was lookin’ at dem curves

Neil: Oh wait, the spelling sucks

Neil: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Holly: Throw a k in there

Holly: Britknee

Holly: I already do not like that weed girl. She is airy as all get out

Neil: Yup

Neil: I give her two weeks

Neil: And that’s not seeing the other people

Neil: Do they not have bags and stuff?

Holly: They have nothing

Holly: So Canadian. “What the heck??” So polite

Neil: SACKVEGAS HOLLA

Holly: Of course her name is Willow

Neil: Ginger Ninja?

Neil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

Holly: The peanut gallery agrees with you

Holly: (Shoutout to Candice and Andrew being our peanut gallery)

Holly: Did that guy just have a creepy photo montage of old houseguests on his wall?

Neil: He sure did

Holly: That’s some serial killer shit

Neil: Who coaches baseball in khakis?

Holly: GINGER NINJA DOES

Neil: I’m getting a pet and naming it Have-Not

Neil: You asshole

Holly: Wait, I missed that… is his dogs name actually have not?

Neil: Hahahaha, nah, Veto

Holly: Well that’s just as dumb

Neil: Can I call Phil HOH?

Neil: Since he really does run your household

Holly: You sure can

Holly: OH SHIT

Holly: I just noticed the back of ginger ninjas hair

Holly: It’s a hipster mullet

Neil: WHAT IN THE FUCK

Neil: Okay, so out of the first, my money is on the nerd that I don’t like

Holly: I’m going with Ashleigh because she reminds me of Heather from last year and she was our underdog

Neil: True, but we talked all kinds of shit about Heather for the first few weeks

Holly: I like Kevin

Neil: He looks like Ian from Shameless

Holly: Poker player, he gonna be good at lying

Holly: TITTAYS

Neil: GODDAMN SHE SET DEM THANGS OUT

Holly: I used to have such a thing for skaters

Neil: I can see that

Neil: DARKSIDE WHAT

Holly: She’s a little much

Holly: Although i would like to see the Dartmouth girl get into it with the Sackville girl

Neil: Yeah I’m not a fan of Mrs. Dressup

Holly: We’re gonna have a milf in the house tho, so there’s that

Holly: She ain’t even have a bra on

Neil: She’s tall as shit too

Neil: Seven feet in heels and shit

Neil: She gon’ let dem thangs hang, go get it, girl

Neil: Oh God, you know she is always on some “Sindy with an S” shit

Holly: I’m Sindy with an S… the S stands for Shut the fuck up

Neil: Hahahaha

Neil: Um, where is the dark part of that?

Neil: Zach is as white as snow, see, man…..shit

Holly: They’re all pretty white

Neil: I don’t know where Ashleigh got tall, dark and handsome, but hey, being colorblind is cool too

Holly: So whats up with % of them being from Toronto

Holly: CISM

Neil: There are like, three people from Calgary too

Neil: And a couple from Scotia

Neil: No one from BC, I don’t think

Holly: Yeah there’s a couple

Neil: Oh is there?

Neil: Doctor homegirl doesn’t look impressed at all

Holly: Oh snap they are doing the Big Brother UK voting!! LOVE IT

Neil: Jesus, I wouldn’t even remember names

Neil: Hahahaha atta girl, Ashleigh

Holly: Sindy better go

Neil: I’m spelling it Cindy by the way

Neil: Because fuck that

Holly: Oooh this is so good

Neil: Damn, ain’t no one remember ol’ girl’s name

Holly: Naeha voting for the minorities

Neil: I know I don’t

Holly: Ol stoner girl Sarah is gonna go batshit crazy without weed if she stays

Neil: Hahaha yup

Holly: Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah

Neil: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Neil: Get Cindy outta here b

Holly: Risha looks like Canada’s version of Charlize Theron

Neil: She better not go home

Neil: Because I’m shallow

Holly: And she looks evil too, i like it

Neil: And you know she knows who put her up somehow

Neil: and if she gets through this?

Neil: BRUH

Neil: She looks petty as shit

Holly: Milf is DETERMINED

Holly: look at that face

Neil: You’re up because you’re Sindy with a fucking S

Holly: Alright, whats up with making the girls wear shit that their asses are hanging out of?

Neil: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Holly: Spending more time picking their wedgies than playing the game

Holly: Zach is a dumb dumb

Neil: The next Emmett

Neil: Oh for fuck sakes, Cindy

Holly: Of course cindy is good with numbers

Holly: Oh god Kevin get those numbers!!

Holly: Fucking Cindy

Neil: MOTHERFUCKER

Neil: Oh man, I’m about to be mad all friggin’ season

Holly: Andrew just brought up a good point

Holly: Maybe Sindy with an S has an alter ego called Cindy with a C

Neil: That’s her not-annoying alter ego?

Holly: Or her more annoying alter ego

Neil: Yeah, I’m going with that

Neil: A lot of people voted for Darkside girl

Holly: So weird

Neil: Dartmouth: Hated across Canada even by people that don’t know about it

Holly: Risha is PISSED

Neil: I like both of these girls

Holly: Me too, dude was right, Cindy should have put up a physical threat

Neil: Oh for fuck sakes

Holly: I love this! UK voting!

Holly: So now its all about looking good to the audience, not the houseguests

Neil: We need to figure out who we are voting for

Neil: I’ll prepare a PowerPoint presentation on why Risha needs to stay

Holly: You do that! I expect at least three pie charts about her cleavage by Wednesday

Neil: Tittays: They’re Good And Good For You

Holly: And there’s the bang I was hoping we would end on

Neil: Aight, we’ll do this again Wednesday, bitches, let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Holly: WAKE UP CANADA

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