Holly: Heeeeeeeeeey girl
Holly: Grab yoself a glass of wine and come dish with me about Big Brother
Neil: Got a beer and ready to goooooooooo
Holly: Beer and Bulwark
Holly: Eviction show already. These people have known each other for 20 minutes
Neil: Cindy gon’ be tryna figure out who voted for her
Holly: So is Risha
Neil: She looks like she starts shit
Holly: I bet we’re gonna see her being cutthroat this episode
Neil: Fuck yo S
Holly: I hope the S also stands for slutty
Neil: Stupid is in the lead
Neil: But she won for fuck sakes
Holly: I think Pilar is going to go home for some reason
Holly: She might be too nice and sweet for the house
Neil: I agree
Neil: Hahaha we totally didn’t vote
Holly: HAHAHAHA we are terrible viewers
Holly: Sorry, Big Brother / Global
Holly: HOW MANY S WORDS ARE YOU GONNA USE GIRL
Neil: This mufucka, man
Holly: Risha shouldn’t have run out of the room
Holly: That’s Big Brother suicide
Neil: I think she’ll be alright
Holly: Flirting with Kevin already
Holly: Cougar in the house y’all!
Neil: She’s layin’ it on thick
Holly: Kevin knows too, he’s a poker player, he sees through that shit
Holly: Go after Zach, he looks like a dumb dumb
Neil: That slop looks like baby dook
Holly: I bet it smells like baby dook too
Holly: Just don’t eat!
Holly: Brittnee starfishes. of course
Neil: I can see that, I like it
Holly: Johnny needs to settle his hormones
Holly: That was a full-on side tittay
Neil: Risha ain’t seen a bra since the early 70s
Holly: Sindy with and S, the S stands for Shenanigans
Holly: Willow looks like an Amish man
Neil: Which one is she?
Holly: So couldn’t these idiots just lay down and have the ball on top of them, so it doesn’t touh the ground? Wouldn’t that be easy
Holly: the one that looks like a man, I don’t know
Neil: Oh yeah, she’s gone
Holly: Why are these people complaining about tasks? have they not seen Big Brother?
Neil: Someone’s gon’ let it fall and that person will be the target
Neil: And yeah, mufuckas are whiny
Holly: I read that as someone’s gonna let a fart
Holly: Which would also make them a target
Neil: Very true
Neil: Hahahaha at that Participaction commercial
Holly: Oh shit, I missed it talking to the peanut gallery
Neil: Don’t visit our website
Holly: (Shoutout to Thalia for being our peanut gallery)
Neil: Basically told kids they’re fatties
Neil: I got Pat over here in mine haha
Holly: Special guests!
Holly: I had a feeling they would use Kevin to do a special task
Holly: But if he makes the balloon break, doesn’t he not get his stuff back?
Neil: That is a big risk
Holly: I don’t know, I would rather my stuff than a thousand bucks
Neil: It ain’t worth it
Neil: This seems like a terrible idea
Holly: He can’t just show up, touch it and then pop it
Holly: Actually that was pretty decent, holding the towel
Neil: No one noticed?
Holly: These people might be dumb
Neil: Pat: The geek and the QB
Holly: That alliance will last one week
Neil: Ol’ buddy cop movie ass mufuckas
Neil: SET DEM THANGS OUT
Holly: Risha is coming on too strong
Neil: Fuck avoiding looking, if they’re out there, dammit, they’re out there
Holly: Oh my god the stoner girl might be smart
Neil: Yeah, see, this will come back to bite him
Holly: I thought Kevin was good at numbers, why isn’t he trying this?
Neil: That is what I was thinking
Neil: Hope that grand was worth it, bruh
Neil: You’re on side show duty
Holly: Oh lawd
Holly: I don’t know if I can watch Gary and Peter stroke each others egos for an hour straight
Holly: I’m over Peter, my crush is gone
Holly: Sorry, Peter
Holly: I can’t wait to see the houseguests get drunk together for the first time
Neil: I was wondering when the booze would come out
Holly: Hopefully when they get their stuff
Holly: Why are they taking their time with this number combo?
Holly: Just bang em out
Neil: Yep, and why is this all on him?
Holly: Crybaby crying over a buncha numbers on day 2. Jeez louise
Neil: Hahahahaha the QB walks up and does it randomly
Neil: GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW
Holly: LOL they have to put their own furniture back???
Neil: Big Brother is not fuckin’ with these people
Holly: Ask me to do this? NOAAAAP
Neil: Duvets are the devil’s work
Holly: No joke, I threw mine out the minute I start living by myself. Trying to put a duvet cover on by yourself is not what’s hot in the streets
Holly: Risha is digging her grave
Holly: join the group, its friggin day
Neil: I was gon’ say, isn’t she supposed to be bonding?
Neil: What has she done again?
Holly: I’m the first to say nah to yoga, but I’d be out there doing it for show
Holly: And now Risha talking about yelling at Pilar? WHA?
Neil: Goddamn she is crazy as shit haha
Holly: Thalia just said Risha looks like a broke down Brigitte Neilsen
Neil: Unless we’re missin’ something, all Risha has done is set dem thangs out and fail at a comp
Holly: Ahe has been highly disappointing
Neil: Yeah, I’m not impressed
Neil: Mad at Pilar for what? She’s just chillin’
Neil: Being nice is a good strategy
Neil: Although we’re the ones voting
Holly: Being quiet is a good strategy too
Holly: That’s true, but they don’t know that
Holly: Goddammit I eat so many twistos during bb season
Holly: I ate a whole bag of them today at work. The. Whole. Bag
Neil: We need a sponsor dammit
Neil: Well this is interesting
Holly: Our sponsor should be Brothers Pepperoni
Neil: Hahahaha how could they NOT see that?
Holly: What are these two people doing? They are massively stunned
Neil: Good grief
Holly: Well that was a useless vault
Holly: Go in, unlock safe, leave. OK cool
Holly: HAHA Look at Risha’s face, realizing she shouldn’t have acted like a twat for the past two days
Neil: Pat just brought up a good point: your self-esteem should be shot if Canada votes you out
Holly: That’s why Big Brother UK is so entertaining, because people think the public loves them and then BAM, voted out. They look shattered
Holly: And you just laugh and laugh
Neil: That’s pretty damn good
Neil: But this is just for this week, I bet
Holly: Yeah i think so
Neil: I honestly have no idea who is going home
Holly: I really don’t know what’s going to happen
Neil: Risha GONE
Holly: Well, maybe she shoulda kept her tittays under wraps
Neil: I might create a goodbye montage to them
Holly: Oh my word, she is bland
Neil: Yeah, I don’t care how close it was
Neil: Here I am
Neil: Ass the fuck out
Holly: Is she really trying to tell us she tried to bond with people?
Neil: We missed all of the bonding
Neil: Awwwwwwwwwwwww yeah
Neil: Bring ’em back!
Neil: And we have the title
Neil: So will we find this out tonight?
Holly: Uuhhh…I wasn’t listening to her there at the end
Neil: That’s fair
Holly: I need to learn how to focus
Neil: Arisa will tell us
Holly: Give it to us Arisa
Holly: Shoutout to KFC!
Neil: I thought they said KFC
Neil: I now want KFC
Holly: Me too
Holly: They should have a HOH challenge where you have to eat as many popcorn chicken as you can
Neil: My God these people don’t listen
Holly: They all look completely stunned
Holly: Um, those positions don’t look flattering
Neil: Not at all
Neil: Dan BACK!
Neil: That mufucka is on everything Big Brother related
Holly: Dan is living off this BB money, sheesh
Neil: Good on him, smart
Holly: Alright, another one in the books, convene next Wednesday