Fear The Walking Dead S01E03 – The Dog

After the Labor Day break, Fear The Walking Dead returns with “The Dog”, which means we’re at the midway point of their compact first season. After two episodes of not knowing what is going on, would the crew start to piece together that shit is about to get so very real? Let’s go…….

-We open at the Salazar barbershop, where Travis and crew are tryna wait out the riots, but Chris won’t stay away from the window and he sees a masked man/zombie in a hoodie with red eyes, which startles him and Travis is like, the fuck did I tell you about the windows? Meanwhile, Madison is back at the house with Alicia and Nick, and they keep hearing weird noises, so I’m waiting for them to go investigate, because Madison is an investigative mufucka. Nick doesn’t care tho, because he’s crushin’ up these pills and not rationing at all. I really hope that, on the Season 1 DVD, the tagline is, “Junkies Gon’ Junkie”.

-In the barbershop, everyone but Travis notices that the rioters have broken in next door and the walls aren’t that thick, but Travis says they won’t come in the barbershop because there is nothing to steal. However, I don’t think he realizes that mufuckas are just breaking stuff. Chris grabs a straight razor and Pops Salazar tells him to put it back, but then goes to Travis and I think he alludes to having guns in the shop. While they’re going back and forth, Chris notices the walls getting hot, which means the place next door is on fire and whether they want to or not, it’s time to get out. They open the door and rioters move right past them, which is a stroke of luck.

-As they get outside amongst the rioters, Travis, Chris and Liza notice someone eating a cop’s neck, to which Nick is like, uhhhhhh, should we do something and Travis grabs him. So, hint #1 for Chris (and Liza) that this isn’t your ordinary riot. Don’t think the Salazars noticed, tho. I don’t think anyone did.

-Madison, Alicia and Nick are having a nice, quiet game of Monopoly (I bet Nick is cheating) and they Alicia mentions her dad, whom we still know nothing about. Meanwhile, Travis is still tryna lead the crew through the streets, but a scaffold falls on Mama Salazar, which was funny because I thought to myself that one of the Salazars wasn’t getting to the truck alive. But they manage to rescue her and get to Travis’ truck, which is surprisingly not destroyed and I feel some kinda way about it, but hey, it’s a show about zombies and you just gotta let some shit slide.

-They drive away and realize that Mama Salazar needs a doctor, and Travis has a look like, we need more than a doctor. Meanwhile, the board game is still going at Madison’s house, but then she looks like she heard a gunshot. Back in the truck, they get to a hospital, but they realize something is going on when the cops start shooting patients, which we know to be zombies, but they think are just people….well, Travis has an idea of what they are and Pops Salazar knows something is up. So yeah, there will be no hospital today and Pops is like, we’re comin’ to your house like you bumrushed my shop, and my cousin will come pick us up. Travis begrudgingly agrees as they notice the power going out all over Los Angeles.

-Seems like there are more commercials, or maybe they’re longer. Get that money, AMC. I ain’t mad at it.

-Nick is tryna persuade Madison that Travis isn’t coming back, which is kind of an asshole thing to do (especially when he started off with “I’m not tryna be an asshole”), and we know she isn’t leaving without him. We also learn that no one has told Alicia anything about anything yet, not what they saw with Calvin, what she saw with Artie, nothing and that’s how mufuckas get killed. They keep hearing noises outside and Nick realizes its a dog, which they let into the house, of course, because WHY THE FUCK NOT. Nick has his hands all in blood on the dog, and he doesn’t think it’s the dog’s blood, which is just wonderful. Then they realize the neighbor from the last episode that attacked the other neighbor having the party, and he’s just standing there, with blood on his face, looking kinda zombie-ish.

-So of course, they leave the house and go to another neighbor’s house, because Nick knows they have a shotgun and he knows where the keys are. Again, junkies can be beneficial in the zombie apocalypse. They walk through a garden, which looks like the maze from the end of the first season of True Detective, get into the house and Madison notices that the neighbor, Susan, isn’t home. Someone about to almost get eaten, possibly Alicia because she’s walking around the house by herself because no one has told her what is going on.

-Alicia also notices that the zombie neighbor (Peter) has managed to get into their house. Well, not managed….since they left the door open. I swear, bruh. Like, come on. They also hear the dog barking…and then not barking. Just then, Travis pulls up with the crew because, timing.

-So they run out of the house, not looking for anything, and they brought the gun, but they don’t have shells, so of course Alicia goes back to get them. Meanwhile, Travis is in the house, where they hear something, and he walks in on Peter buffeting on the dog, and Peter is like, sweet, dessert. Travis tries to talk to him because that’s what you do when you see a mufucka eating a dog, and Peter gets him on the ground. He manages to get up and Madison is going to shoot it, and Travis tells her not to, but Pops Salazar is like, man, you’re stupid and shoots Peter not once, but twice in the head.

-Meanwhile, Alicia is getting the shells when she sees a pair of legs, which turns out to be zombie Susan, so she runs, but zombie Susan catches up to Alicia, who is caught in this damn maze and who the hell has a garden like that anyway? She screams and they hear her, and she barely gets away, but not before she punched Chris in the nose for tryna help. She asks what’s wrong with Susan because again, NO ONE HAS TOLD HER WHAT IS GOING ON. Madison tries to talk to Susan because, well, it’s Madison. She is basically Dale from The Walking Dead. I couldn’t stand his bitch ass.

-Nick is the only one with sense as he says that she isn’t sick, she’s dead, while Alicia starts to realize that’s what happened to Matt and goes into denial. Travis is also in denial and asks Nick why he said that and Nick is like, it’s the truth. Travis then tells Chris that everyone is just getting sick. Sorry bruh, sick doesn’t make you eat dogs.

-Liza is tryna help Mama Salazar and her foot and asks if there is anything for pain, and it’s quick, but she looks right at Nick and that’s good shit, like, I know your junkie ass has some shit.Travis decides they’re gon’ have a sleepover and leave in the morning, which sounds like a terrible plan, but The Walking Dead franchise is built on terrible plans.

-Travis takes Peter’s body outside and Pops is like, you better burn him so it doesn’t spread, but Travis ain’t tryna hear it. Travis says that Peter didn’t deserve this, but really, what is this deserve shit? That doesn’t even make any sense. Pops is lookin’ at Travis like, you’re gon’ get everyone killed, b.

-After a scene between Travis and Liza (they didn’t say anything at all), the Salazars are in a bedroom and Pops decides that they’re not going with Travis and Madison, and the daughter thinks it’s not the worst idea in the world. But Pops is old school and doesn’t wanna owe anyone anything. Of course, he’ll chill in their house, but I don’t know if that counts. Anyway, my guess is that Mama Salazar dies from infection and turns before the end of the season.

-Madison is starting to get it as Travis apologizes to her for Pops blowing Peter’s head off, and she says, “he had to”. He looks at her like he didn’t see Peter eating a dog. Why is no one paying attention to the fact that MUFUCKA WAS EATING A DOG?

-Liza sees Madison in the kitchen and is like, look, we don’t like each other, but we gotta be friends or at least civil so we can stay alive and Madison is like, fine, but if what happens to me, happens to Susan, you shoot me because Travis is a bitch and will break. Okay, she didn’t say he was a bitch, but I mean, come on. And I’m really interested to learn more about how Madison and Travis hooked up. They were teachers at the same school, so did they have an affair or were their marriages done by that time? That’s probably some Season 2 shit.

-I keep forgetting that Lauren Cohan from The Walking Dead has a British mother and grew up there, so the accent throws me off. Same with Gillian Anderson. Andrew Lincoln, too, to stay in the TWD world. Anyway, October 11th. It’s about to be on.

-The morning comes and Travis is taking out the garbage, which is basically a bloody blanket and he and the neighbor are looking at each other like both of them were doing shady shit, which could very well be true. Pops is teaching Chris about shotguns and Travis is not havin’ it because he isn’t a fan of guns, but he’s gon’ have to get over that very quickly, he’ll learn. Travis is also being rather smart with Pops, who coulda left his ass out in the riots.

-They’re getting ready to leave, but Madison decides she’s gon’ have one last conversation with Susan before she hits her with a hammer, but Travis stops her because Susan might have some humanity left. This is a punk move by Travis, but probably the right move because Madison would have likely gotten herself bitten or killed. Pops looks out of the window and calls them, “weak”. Man, Pops be knowin’. After just one night, too. I might stay back with him.

-Madison gets in the car and tells Nick she gave some of the pills to Mama for her foot, and he freaks out because again, say it with me: junkies gon’ junkie. They can handy in the zombie apocalypse because they’re sneaky, but they’re also chasing one thing, and one thing only. He says that he doesn’t need her, he needs his medicine and at this point, Madison should kick him out and be like, aye, we got one extra seat, who wants it?

-Pops hits us with the line of the season: “Good people are the first ones to die”. Pops is down to do dirt in these streets.

-They’re calling for Alicia and I thought she had snuck off to see Matt, but she comes out. The two vehicles are driving off when Madison sees Susan’s husband, Patrick, drive up to his house. So she tries to warn him, of course, and he is like, the fuck is wrong with you, Susan? He goes to give her a hug, and Susan is like, LUNCH, but before they embrace, an Army team emerges and shoots her in the head.

-Soldiers are asking Travis and Madison questions, and she just walks off because privilege, and she starts asking soldiers who are checking the perimeter of the house what they’re doing and what is happening. Man, listen. My eyes did a 720 I rolled them that hard. Ol’ Nancy Drew ass, grab your family, get in the car and get the fuck on. Then she lies and says that there is a dead dog until this mound of dirt when it’s actually Peter’s body, which they could study, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

-Meanwhile, Nick is on the hunt for drugs when a little girl in the house next door notices him, and I figured a zombie would take her out.

-Travis ends the episode with, “it’s going to be better now” because the Army is there. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhht. Meanwhile, Pops is lookin’ out the window and says, “they’re too late”. Damn, he’s great.

This was easily the most infuriating episode of Fear The Walking Dead to date, and I’m still giving them slack because it’s new and no one really knows, for sure, what is going on. But I’d like to think after seeing a dude eat a dog, the shit with Calvin, the shit with Artie, the shit with Susan, etc…..eventually, you gotta suck it up and start thinking like Pops. So now it’s just a matter of Travis and Madison getting their shit together, and seriously, someone tell Alicia what is going on. Because right now, the only reason she’s not at the top of my “Who I Want To Get Eaten” Power Rankings (right now, it’s Travis, Madison, Alicia, Chris, Liza….the Salazars are good) is because she hasn’t seen as much as everyone else, but I also think she’ll soon demand to know what’s up, if she’s as smart as the show would have us believe. Anyway, thumbs up….looking forward to next week.


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