Monthly Archives: December 2015

American Horror Story: Hotel S05E09 – She Wants Revenge

The usual downhill spiral continues on American Horror Story: Hotel with “She Wants Revenge”, which is maddening because the promise is there. Everything was going so well. There is no way they’re sorting this all out in four episodes. Let’s go….

-We open with the Countess talking about how she is a century old now, and she is staring into the hallway where she knows Rudy and Natasha have been hidden, but they’re not there anymore. There should been another episode about this story, or at least split that with the “Ten Commandments Killer” episode. I’m still pissed about that. It didn’t need to be a whole damn episode.

-Oh, shoutout to Gaga for getting a Golden Globe nomination for her role in Hotel. I think she has been great in spite of some bad storytelling. She is up against some stiff competition and shouldn’t win, but I bet she has shocked some people.

-In the present, Will Drake is telling the Countess that he wants a big wedding, but she wants something more intimate. Hell, I forgot they were even getting married because there are 47 storylines, but aight, cool. She just wants him to design her dress and she’ll handle the rest, and then Elizabeth asks Liz to order her some flowers. To which Liz hits her with a “bitch, what?” and tells her to buy her own flowers. He is obviously still salty about what she did to Tristan, which is fair, and all that was missing from this was a finger snap and a neck roll. Elizabeth is still playing the victim and says she did it because Tristan could have never loved Liz because he didn’t know how. Liz don’t care, bruh.

-Elizabeth and Alex are watching the news, and by that, I mean Alex is Elizabeth’s servant and getting her a nice glass of blood, while Elizabeth is chillin’. They see that a man has his blood drained on the news, and witnesses saw children at the scene. I thought they meant the little blond children from the hotel; I forgot all about the kid who had the measles that Alex saved when she had her little buffet at the hospital. Who knew that a show could have multiple crews of child vampires?

-Elizabeth then gets a call from an investigator who says that he found her man, and she goes to a cheap hotel, where she finds Rudy, who escaped the hotel with Natasha. He greets her with a kiss, and Natasha won’t be happy about this.

-But quickly, because the Countess doesn’t like to go too long without a penis, we flash to her at the hotel, riding Donovan. He, of course, catches the feelings and wants her to only be with him and she’s like, cool, I’m getting married on Wednesday, but I should be good to go by Thursday. They’re making a list of people that they’re going to kill, but all we noticed was that Gaga has great boobs, which we can clearly see because FX made them slap some stars over the nipples. Really, what is the point? Just put the titty out there. We can seriously see the whole thing. Stop making us work for nudity.

-After the credits, a trio of people are waiting to check into the hotel, last name: Stormcock. They’re so obviously a porn shoot, but Iris has some zingers. She hits them with that “douchebag convention is over at the Hilton”, how she’ll bring ’em extra towels and shit. This ain’t her first rodeo. Also, we learn that the female porn star doesn’t like getting rimmed, which means a tongue in the ol’ poop chute. I had a completely different definition of rimming, so AHS be outchea educating the people. Iris goes on a speech about how she doesn’t mind porn when it’s done right, but she doesn’t want to enable it anymore since she was turned, and goes up to the room, where she slits Mr. Stormcock’s throat and stabs ol’ girl while the dude runs into the bathroom. Donovan finds her draining the girl of her blood and is impressed with her work, but she tells him that it isn’t safe for him at the hotel, and the Countess would find out they are working together with Ramona. Mmmmmhmmmm……Donovan is about to rat you out. That Countess vagina is a helluva thing. Before he leaves, he kills the dude in the bathroom; we don’t see it, but it’s easy to make that assumption. –

-Also, she told Donovan that Elizabeth confronted her about Bartholomew The Gerber Baby going missing, and she ratted Ramona out to Elizabeth, but didn’t say that she and Donovan were involved. Not your best work, Iris.

-Will is getting Lachlan ready for the wedding, and Lachlan still can’t believe that his dad is marrying a woman, and Will explains the idea of bisexuality to his son. You can see “The More You Know” flashing on the screen, but like a true child, Lachlan isn’t really caring about what his father is saying because kids ain’t shit. Out of nowhere comes Miss Evers, who warns Will against marrying the Countess and tells him that it is basically like committing suicide. Will tells her to get out and she leaves, but not before she says that she can’t wait to clean the shit out of his clothes after Elizabeth kills him. Yo, has Will ALWAYS been that orange? That’s some Jersey Shore spray tanning. Also, Miss Evers says that Elizabeth will bleed him dry and Will is like, I got this prenup and she’s like, uhhhh……that’s not what I mean at all.

-Elizabeth talks to a contractor to install a new door, to fill the hole that is hiding the hallway where Rudy and Natasha was. He tells her that it’ll be impossible to do it in 24 hours, and March pops up to play foreman, telling him what he needs to do and how to do it because he has had experience with these kinds of rooms. She slaps him when the contractor leaves and she is pissed that he locked up Rudy and Natasha, and never wants to see him again. He just wants his monthly dinners, and she wants the door done by the morning, so that appears to be the trade-off, because Countess vagina gets what she wants.

-Donovan heads to Ramona’s with a gift, and it’s the male porn star, so he didn’t kill him….not yet anyway. Ramona calls Donovan a pussy for getting back with the Countess, and he says it’s all a part of the plan as he is getting married and will be distracted. Meanwhile, Angela Bassett dominates the screen and they could be talking about ice cream for all I know.

-Then we get into the best part of the episode: Ramona tells the story of her parents, which is where she went after Elizabeth broke her heart. They were both sick, but her mother passed away and her father got worse with Alzheimer’s. Then the house got broken into and two robbers almost beat him to death, and Ramona fed him her blood to try and keep him alive, and hopefully slow down the Alzheimer’s. It kept him alive, but didn’t help the disease and Ramona had to kill more to feed him blood to keep him going until one night, she came home and he had killed two more intruders. He didn’t understand what was going on, so Ramona fed him Xanax, I believe, one of those drugs, and drowned him in a tub. Over the years, she has fumed over what Elizabeth has taken from her, while being mad that people are now watching her movies for free on the internet, and Ryan Murphy is dropping all kinds of messages in these streets this season. She wants revenge on Elizabeth, and plans to get it. This really could have been the plot of the entire season and I would have been fine. Give me all the Angela Bassett, please.

-Alex goes to a house where a pizza is being delivered, and the house is Max’s, the measles kid. He and his friends are chowing down on the pizza delivery guy, and Alex tells them that they’ll be found out soon because the pizza place will wonder where he is. The kids’ plan is basically to eat everyone in their way, and they’ve already eaten their parents, and now one of them wants to eat the kids that don’t want to eat people. Is this cannibalism or vampirism? Can it be both? Anyway, these kids are assholes and they leave Alex to talk to the cops. Kids make stupid plans, I think is the moral of this story.

-Donovan had told Ramona that he drugged Elizabeth to put her out, which of course was a lie, and she wakes up, and Donovan tases Ramona. He takes her to the dungeon to put her in the same contraption that housed the two blond girls from earlier in the season and Iris is confused about the plan, to which Donovan is like, “Bitch, there is no plans, I lied and am under the spell of Countess vagina”, or something similar to that. Donovan thinks he is the only one for Elizabeth, and Iris scoffs, and Ramona wakes up in time to second that scoff. Dogg…..how many times has she done this? Why do you think you’re special? Her vagina is the truth, bruh.

-Meanwhile, Elizabeth is back at the hotel with Rudy, and Finn Dogg is trying to sound Italian, but it is coming off super Russian. Like, Putin Russian. There is no Italian in this at all. Dude sounds like a villain from GoldenEye. Anyway, they’re about to kiss and Natasha struts in from a shopping trip as Elizabeth gave her a credit card, and we realize that it is Alexandra Daddario, whom you may remember from the first season of True Detective. I think Woody Harrelson was having sex with her? Anyway, she was naked and it set the internet on fire for like, 24 hours. Elizabeth invites her to a night at the hotel and Natasha is afraid of March being there, but Elizabeth tells her that he is dead and she’ll be fine….which means she’s obviously about to kill her so she can be with Rudy. Natasha knows something is up with Elizabeth and Rudy, while Elizabeth leaves and is seen by Donovan, who I keep forgetting, is a heroin addict and I’ve been giving him too much credit.

-Elizabeth and Will get married in the hotel lobby, and Elizabeth’s dress is pretty awful. Liz objects to the whole proceedings on the grounds that Elizabeth is a bitch, but no one seems to care because they just need a witness. Lachlan just wants to go upstairs after the wedding because kids don’t care, and Elizabeth wants to change into travelling clothes because they’re going to Paris. Before that, she walks up to Liz threateningly, but only gives him a bouquet and wishes that he finds true love….oh yeah, Liz will die before this is all over.

-At the bar, Will is joined by March for a congratulatory drink, and March says something about blended families, to which Will is like, yeah, she loves my son. March is like, ummmmm, nah bruh, you ain’t met her son yet? So he walks him up to Gerber Baby’s room and Will is obviously horrified, when Elizabeth walks in and knocks his ass out for saying all sorts of ignorant shit about her child in true motherly fashion.

-He wakes up in the same room as Ramona, who persuades him to let her out, but while he is running around and screaming for help, we realize that he is in the sealed chamber, so I guess Elizabeth got her door done. Will is like, we gon’ starve and Ramona is like, um, I won’t….and then proceeds to buffet his face and life. Elizabeth is watching this on a screen from her room, while Miss Evers laughs at Will because she’s petty and was right.

It isn’t that I hated this episode, or even how AHS does this every season, because this show is always entertaining and the fuckery is right around the corner. But at the end of every episode, I have an arm’s length of questions that need answering and I get frustrated because I know they won’t be. They made John a huge part of the story and he wasn’t even in this episode. Shoot, is anyone gon’ notice that he killed the black cop? Still no sign of Scarlett, the blond kids from the hotel and now they have to figure out what to do with the measles army. Did Alex have to talk to the cops to cover for them? What is gon’ happen to Lachlan? He’ll notice his father is missing at some point, right? Will he be the Darth Vader of the vampire children, or avenge his father’s death? Shit, what about Sally? And I assume Rapey Drillbit is done?

I hope I’m wrong about all this. But it’s American Horror Story and I’m probably not.

 

 

 

American Horror Story: Hotel S05E08 – The Ten Commandments Killer

American Horror Story: Hotel returned after a week off with “The Ten Commandments Killer”, which follows what I thought was the best episode of the season, “Flicker”. Of course, that was the wee I decided to take off, but the Countess’ backstory continues to be the best part of Hotel, and it should get more play, but it’s AHS, which means there are 14 other things they need to focus on. Let’s go….

-We open with Wren’s suicide from the last episode, and he flashes back to seeing her in a coffin, while people standing around the scene are like, should we call the cops on this mufucka? Seems pretty suspicious since he just kinda runs away. Anyway, he runs back to the hotel, where Liz is putting on makeup and seems to be over the Tristan death, and John runs up on Liz demanding answers. Liz is like, you better watch your tone, bruh, and says that Wren was full of lies. He grabs Liz, who I think would kick his ass, but Sally steps in and says she has the answers he wants. Liz also gives him a gun in case he finds what he is looking for. Here is a hint: if I need a gun, I don’t need to look for it. But I would have left the hotel a long time ago.

-They go to Room 64, and Sally tells John that this was March’s office, where he died on a February 25th, and it was 2:25 am when he died, so that explains that. Behind a wall, John finds a hidden room, where he finds a number of body parts, ranging from murders in 1926 to the recent killings that he was investigating. Through a series a quick flashbacks, it is revealed that, viola, John is the Ten Commandments Killer, just like I said like four episodes ago. That was some bootleg Usual Suspects shit. Why else would he have been invited to the serial-killer party?

-John’s partner, whose name is Hahn apparently, is looking over Wren’s corpse and asks another cop to go and check on John’s family; when that cop leaves, John shows up out of nowhere and tries to confess that he is the Killer. He says that he first went to the hotel in 2010, where he met the likes of Liz, Sally and Donovan and he was still drinking at the time. They interrupt the monthly dinner of March and the Countess, and March was PISSED because he doesn’t get much time with her. He starts yelling, I don’t know what he is even saying and combined with the 1920s accent, I’m in tears. Evan Peters is just destroying this season. Good for him. Anyway, March sees something in John and kicks everyone out, even the Countess.

-These mufuckas talked and drank absinthe for two days, which I’m not sure is even possible. John passes out and talks to Elizabeth about bringing John into the fold, and she’s like, aight cool, I’ll kidnap his son and we’ll get this poppin’. Then John wakes up in a car outside of his house, not knowing what is going on, and walks in his house, where Alex is like, dogg, I don’t care where you’ve been. Holden cares and runs up on John, who says he’ll take him to the carnival, which is where he gets jacked by Elizabeth. Things are moving quickly in this episode, and they’re saying a lot…..but not saying a lot, you know?

-John continues telling Hahn his story of a double life, which takes place at the hotel as well as at home, where they’re still tryna find Holden. March thinks that he should get justice for his son, and shows him his accountant’s head, a trophy from someone who tried to wrong him. John returns to the hotel on Holden’s tenth birthday in 2015 and March shows him pictures of a man, Martin Gamboa, who was allegedly molesting a 10-year-old at the hotel, trying to get John to go after him. John offers to meet Gamboa via Craigslist, where he offered to buy his Oscar from him, and after showing Gamboa the pictures, he beats him to death with the Oscar. Then he tries to hang himself and pass over to the ghost world, like Sally, but March reminds Sally of their deal: he will protect her from the Addiction Demon, if he keeps bringing people to him. Hahn does confirm that Sally is indeed a person that killed herself at the hotel, but he is still skeptical of the story itself. A lot of us are, Hahn.

-John barely remembers any of this happening, but Sally tells him that the hotel suppresses his memories, and March tells him that he needs to finish the legacy of the original Ten Commandments Killer. I’m not sure if it’s Wes Bentley or the writing, or something, but something just isn’t jiving well with all this. I’m happy I was right about John being the Killer, but the way that they got here, I don’t know if it’s too complex or too easy.

-Whatever Krampus is, it looks like it sucks, b.

-So, John goes about assigning himself to the Ten Commandments Killer case, which he uses to visit crime scenes and cover up evidence. While he is in bed with Sally, John realizes that Alex has been having an affair with Hahn, who he then stabs repeatedly and Hahn says that he doesn’t deserve Alex. Shoot, he might be right, and Alex ain’t shit. He says to Hahn that he shouldn’t covet his neighbor’s wife, because commandments. He goes back to the hotel, where Iris is happy because she never knew which John she was getting from visit to visit. She tries to get him to never come back, but John is like, NOAP, and wants to go see March in Room 64. He also has a bloody paper bag….which apparently has Hahn’s penis and testicles in it to add to the Ten Commandments Killer trophies.

I have so many problems with this episode and John’s story that I don’t know where to start. Do we know who the OG Ten Commandments Killer is? Why didn’t he just stay away from the hotel in the first place?  If he drank absinthe for two days with March, why did he pass out like a little bitch during the serial-killer party? How is he gon’ be mad at Alex for sleeping with Hahn when he was sleeping with a fucking ghost Sally? When is Wren gon’ come back? Do we even know where Alex and Holden are? AND WHERE THE FUCK IS SCARLETT? As I said, I don’t know what it is, but they’re spending a ton of time on the least interesting character of the season and I don’t know who is at fault for it, but I couldn’t care less about John Lowe or anything he is going through.

That’s not even counting the stuff with Ramona, and the next two episodes have the word “revenge” in the title, so she’ll be back at some point. Don’t forget about Bartholomew the Gerber baby, Will Drake and his son are still around somewhere, and Donovan made a brief appearance here, but I assume he is still aligned with Ramona?

Sigh. This is where it all starts to go downhill for Hotel. They better start wrapping up these loose ends soon before there is another mess of a finale. My expectations are mad low for AHS right now

The Walking Dead S06E08 – Start To Finish

The Walking Dead hit the midway point of Season 6 with “Start To Finish”, and they’re usually pretty solid when it comes to finales. While this one wasn’t great in terms of technical aspects, after a couple of dour episodes, they went into the break with hilarity. I doubt that was their goal, but this might have been the funniest episode I’ve seen of anything this season. Let’s go…..

-We open upstairs at Jessie’s house, and we see little creepy Sam leaving an empty plate outside his door because remember, he won’t come outside. He is drawing a picture of a boy tied to a tree with what appears to be walkers on either side of him, because he’s a shitty artist. This is a call back to last season when Carol told him that she would tie him to a tree and let the monsters get him if he told anyone that she was in the armory, I believe. All he wanted was some cookies and now he’s scarred for life, which is hilarious. Then we go to ants coming through his window and converging on a cookie that he hasn’t eaten, which I actually liked a lot because it signifies the walkers coming through the walls at Alexandria. Some fake-deep shit, but but it gets the point across.

-The first segment starts with the tower falling and the walkers starting to come through, and it is basically a look at everyone trying to get away. Ron is about to shoot Carl, but realizes they have bigger problems. Rick is yelling at everyone, which is no surprise. Deanna steps up to help Rick because she has her second wind now. Morgan and Carol are running away and in a very unlike-Carol thing, she trips over nothing like Blond White Girl #2 in a horror movie. Morgan helps her up as they get back to his place, while Deanna also falls, but Rick saves her. Maggie also can’t stand up and shoutout to Holly for texting me, “My favorite part is when the walkers first broke through, and everyone from the original crew was falling down like weeble wobbles”. But Maggie shoots her way to a ladder and of course, she gets away. She also looks up in the sky and sees Glenn’s balloons again.

-Eugene is hiding around the corner and he hears Daryl say “hello” on Rick’s dropped radio, but he is standing there with a machete and freezes when approached by walkers, and has to get saved by Rosita and Tara, and they run into a garage. I know Eugene is a punk, but at this point, bruh? COME ON. SACK UP. After lying about being a scientist, the least you can do is not be a bitch. He’s fighting with Father Bitchass and Ron for the top spot on my “Mufuckas Gotta Die” list. Meanwhile, Rick, Deanna, Jessie, Michonne, Father Bitchass, Carl and Ron run into Jessie’s house, and shoutout to Deanna pointing out walkers to Rick like a running back pointing out blockers to his offensive line. COMICAL.

-Glenn and Enid are watching the walkers invade Alexandria, and Glenn is tryna think of a way to get in to help, but Enid is being sour as she tends to do. She says some bullshit about letting the world die and Glenn is like, fuck all that. Glenn is starting to get a little annoying, and it’s not even his fault. Like Maggie, he is the victim of shitty writing, which is terrible because I really like both of them. Oh well, I guess.

-Sam opens his door to see everything happening, as Rick takes a bleeding Deanna into a room so they can assess the situation, and everything is chaotic. Jessie sees a traumatized Sam and tells him to pretend to be brave. So what does Sam do? He closes the door and man, let me tell you something: I laughed for like 15 minutes straight. All I pictured was the Homer Simpson GIF where he backs into the bushes. I had to pause and rewind I was laughing so hard. I’m laughing about it again. That might be the single-funniest thing I’ve seen on TV all year. Shit. I got tears in my eyes again.

-Morgan and Carol are hangin’ out and he thinks she is concussed, but Carol ain’t tryna hear it. Denise is downstairs with Morgan’s Wolf friend, who Holly said looked like Skeet Ulrich on a meth binge (and she’s not wrong). He is tryna convince her to untie him, but Denise ain’t fallin’ for it. She’s gon’ get killed, b. This seems like one of the worst plans in the history of The Walking Dead, a show well-known for terrible plans. He shows her his wound and she takes out an IV. Because he deserves to use up their medicine.

-Speaking of wounds, we see Deanna’s and Michonne realizes that she has been bitten, which happened when she fell earlier. The camera pans around at Rick and then to Deanna, who says, “Well……..shit”. Perfect. This has to be a top-three most humorous TWD episode of all time.

-Rick’s new plan is to get to the armory to get some flares so he can draw the walkers away, and Jessie is like, whatever you think, bruh. Meanwhile, Michonne is with Deanna and tells her that she thinks her Alexandria expansion will work, but Deanna is more interested in asking Michonne what she really wants out of life. I tuned out at some point because Deanna about to die and I don’t care.

-Now here we go: Carl goes to the garage, where Ron is being all sad and thinking they’re gon’ die and Enid is dead and that Rick is a killer and gets people killed, including his father. Carl replies with, aye, your dad also killed someone, and Ron is like, touche. Didn’t think that through, did you, fuckboy? Anyway, he pulls out his gun and Carl is like, if you pull it out, you better use it, and the two get to fighting. Ron swings a shovel at Carl and breaks a window, which draws walkers to the house. Rick and Jessie run down and Rick breaks down the door to save the boys, and he asks Carl what’s up; Carl lies and said they were making noise tryna keep the walkers away, and Rick is like, WHY YOU LYIN’, BRUH. Ron stutters and is like, uh, yeah, that’s what happened, and goes upstairs.

-Carl runs up on Ron like, the fuck are you doin’ and pulls the gun on him, and Ron tries to apologize, but Carl is like, yeah I know, bitch, gimme your fuckin’ gun. He gets Ron’s gun and says, look, I know my dad killed your dad and you’re salty, but your dad was an asshole, and again, the laughs start rollin’. On the low, Carl’s come-up from being an annoying kid to a teenager who knows what’s up in the zombie apocalypse has been pretty good. I know we all hated him as a kid. Shoutout to Chandler Riggs. Now we just need Enid to make a man out of him and we’re good.

Fear The Walking Dead: Flight 462. Ol’ boy is dead on the ground and the U.S.Marshal won’t let the Asian lady who be knowin’ get close to him. He is dead…..and he reanimates with those eyes. YUP. That was more dramatic than any single thing in this episode.

-Judith starts crying upstairs as the crew surveys the scene outside, because you should leave a baby alone at times like these. Rick goes upstairs and sees Deanna kneeling over Judith, and he thinks she’s gone full zombie on her, and is really ready to chop her head off before Deanna is like, AYE YO I’M NOT A ZOMBIE YET SHIT DON’T KILL ME. Again, more comedy. He takes Deanna back to her room, and she gives him notes for Spencer and Maggie, and asks Rick to watch Spencer like he is one of his people. Then she tells him that they’re all his people, which was the right answer to her question last week about why he saved Spencer. Man, these BEEN Rick’s people, they just don’t know it yet.

-Eugene, Tara and Rosita are still in their garage, tryna think about what they can do since there are a thousand walkers out there. Eugene is reading a history book, but he has a paper clip or something, which he can use to pick the lock to get out of the garage and into the house. Good for you. You can pick locks. Useless motherfucker.

-The lock he is picking is to get into Morgan’s, where he is tryna convince Carol that the Wolf doesn’t need to die and Carol ain’t buying it. Meanwhile, walkers are really putting the boots to Jessie’s place and cause the group to run upstairs, where the walkers are stopped on the steps by a couch. Sure, why not?

-Carol goes downstairs and tells Denise to get away from the Wolf, holding a knife to her, and Morgan gets in the middle of it. At Jessie’s, Rick realizes that they have to get outta there. I don’t know where they managed to get walkers from, but they come up with the plan to drench themselves in walker guts so they can get out of the house, and Father Bitchass, Jessie and Ron are like, mufucka what? But Rick and Michonne are like, we’ve done it before and really, what other choice do they have?

-Seriously though……where did they get those walkers?

-Morgan and Carol are arguing about what needs to be done and they get to fighting, and Carol, God love her, is keeping up with Morgan….until he powerslams her and that is the end of that. But then the Wolf has gotten free, and knocks Morgan out with his own damn staff, of course. Back at Jessie’s, Michonne tells Deanna that she will kill her before she turns and Deanna is like, nah, I got a gun, I’ll do it when I’m ready. She’s lookin’ mighty deathly anyway. Jessie is tryna convince Sam that this is the move and he isn’t getting it, but eventually says he’ll pretend and he is about to get at least two people killed. Goddamn, Carol fucked his head up hahahahahaha

-The crew get ready to head out, and Father Bitchass tries to persuade Rick that he’s ready for this and back out, and Rick is like, whatever man, I hope you die anyway.

-Denise pleads with the Wolf not to kill Morgan and Carol, but then Tara, Eugene and Rosita run up on them and the Wolf takes Denise hostage before they just wander outside…..do they not know that there are thousands of walkers out there? Whatever, man. Whatever.

-Rick gives Judith to Carl, who puts her under his guts-soaked poncho and the crew heads out into the herd, holding hands. Meanwhile, Glenn climbs a tree and sees Maggie. Deanna is about to kill herself, but decides to go out into the herd, where she thinks she’ll die in a blaze of glory. However, we don’t see it, but I bet they ate the shit outta her.

-After the credits, which I didn’t see until yesterday, we see Sasha, Abe and Daryl driving a truck down the road, and they’re stopped by some dudes with guns on motorcycles. I missed the part where they even got back together, but man, there’s a lot of fuckery going on in this show. Anyway, the bikers tell them give up all their shit and Daryl asks why, and the main biker says that all their shit belongs to Negan now. I stopped reading the comics before he came around, so don’t tell me who he is because I don’t care and I’ll figure it out when it comes back in February; Valentine’s Day, to be exact. And I heard that some comic readers are mad about how they introduced Negan, it’s different from the comics. If you haven’t figured out that the show is different from the comics after 5 1/2 seasons, I don’t know what to tell ya, bruh. Why are you even still watching?

Season 6 of The Walking Dead started out with a bang, and then kinda went downhill for the final three episodes: this joint, the Daryl/Sasha/Abe joint and Glenn’s return. I get what they were tryna do with this episode, but the execution was terrible and it turned out to be absolutely hilarious, which is something. But now we have to wait until February to see how Glenn gets back to Maggie, how many people Sam gets killed, who or what Negan is (again, don’t tell me), and how the Wolf and Denise get through this herd of walkers without getting killed. If nothing else, The Walking Dead is entertaining, and I’ve always said that. It’s just not very good a lot of the time, and that’s fine.