Monthly Archives: March 2016

The Walking Dead S06E15 – East

As I have said before, The Walking Dead is a show built on bad decisions. Hell, if they were making good decisions, the show probably would have lasted a solid season and a half. But with “East”, the penultimate episode of Season 6, they might have set a new bar. Let’s go…..

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-The episode starts with a montage with a female voice saying “I see you” and a bullethole in a windshield, then she says to “come out slowly” as we see the car has a flat tire. There is dripping blood, and a dude saying that “he’s going to pass on that”…a spear with blood on it, then Carol’s rosary beads on the ground, a man yelling and then a gunshot. Pretty ominous, and not subtle that shit is about to hit the fan. Subtlety has never been a strong suit of The Walking Dead.

-Carol is sewing a jacket or something, looking fed up, then she looks around and then starts packing a bag with food, so she is getting outta here. Tobin comes in the room and she throws the backpack under the bed, and he starts talking about Denise, but Carol ain’t listening at all. Me neither, Killa, me neither. She looks like she is either gon’ cry and put him in an arm triangle.

-Next is another montage, because who doesn’t love montages, and this one is set to Johnny Cash’s “It’s All Over” (shoutout to Tunefind), which is perfect for this scene. Tobin is sleeping as Carol dips out, Carl grabs a gun and stares at it, and it has something engraved on it…I even paused on it and I still don’t know what it says….I think there is a “D” in there, and he takes the gun. Maggie and Glenn are showering, and Glenn notices some bruises on her, probably from her scuffle with Alicia Witt and her shitty band of miscreants because again, taking pregnant women out on MURDERDEATHKILL missions is always something you need to do. Daryl is on his motorcycle with the “Dennis” keychain that Denise found before she got an arrow in the eye, and he looks like he’s about to do something stupid. But then we have, for me, the best part of the montage. Sasha gives Abe a cigar as they’re switching guard posts, and they’re all smiling and happy, and then Sasha catches Rosita’s eye…..ooooooooooooooooooooooh. That look Rosita gives her is so good. It’s part sadness, part “bitch I’ma fight you at some point”, and Sasha almost looks at her like, “yeah, I know it’s coming”.

-Michonne and Rick are in bed, eating an apple loudly, and I forgot this was a thing. Michonne has to get up and help Maggie, who is worried about an attack, but Rick is like, nah, we got this, which means they absolutely don’t got this and something fucked up is about to happen. Then we get to Michonne outside with Maggie and Glenn, and they’re telling her that ain’t shit gon’ happen, when they see Daryl opening the gate and leaving on his bike, so of course, they have to follow him: Glenn, Michonne and Rosita head out, and Rosita knows where he is going, she says. Then, Tobin takes Carol’s goodbye note to Rick, who leaves with Morgan of all people to go find her. Great, so we have six people gone from the group, all of whom are good-to-great fighters. If the Saviors are watching Alexandria, they’re laughing like, yo, we ain’t even have to do anything.And the best part of Carol’s note is when it says, don’t try to find me…..does she know who the hell she is talking to? Yeesh.

-Carol is driving down the road in her car with spikes coming out of it, because that’s not going to draw attention. A truck drives past her, and they shoot the tires out. They demand that she gets out of the car, and then they find out where she is coming from, which they know because they’ve seen cars with spikes out of them at Alexandria. Carol is like, man, just go away and no one needs to get hurt; basically, don’t bring the Killa out. She’s basically Bruce Banner and the Hulk at this point. When they don’t do what she says, Carol sprays them with a gun in her coat sleeve, which is what she was sewing at the beginning of the episode. There is one Savior left, or so it seems, and that is what we see during the pre-credit scene: he charges at her, there is a gunshot and that is it. The blood we see is his as she shoots him, but did he get her with his knife? MYSTERY.

-Maggie tries to get some food before her guard shift, but Enid says she’ll do it so Maggie can rest. Does Maggie not know she is pregnant? I get she wants to help, but come on, bruh.

-Morgan and Rick are driving east, which they deduced from tire tracks. Rick says that Morgan doesn’t know Carol and he doesn’t know why he is doing this, and Morgan is like, nah, we got to know each other a bit, and then he speaks in vague cliches about right and wrong and it’s getting really annoying. They get to the shootout site, where there is another Savior, but he hides while Rick and Morgan survey the scene. They see a blood trail, which they deduce is Carol’s and they start following, while the Savior comes out of the woods, grabs Carol’s beads and starts following them. Oh, Rick and Morgan killed the Savior that rushed Carol. I think that was him.

-Rosita, Michonne and Glenn to get to where Denise was killed, and they find Daryl’s bike hidden, so Rosita was right as Daryl came back to find Dwight and kill him. This seems like such a terrible idea. Glenn and Michonne want to bring him back, but Rosita thinks they should let him do what he has to do. So they track him easily enough; example #1 of Daryl being a bad tracker. But that’s just the tip of the goddamn iceberg and yeah, he shoots an arrow close enough to them to know that he knows they’re there; I don’t care. They want him to come home, but Daryl tells them that he should have killed Dwight back in “Always Accountable” (which I apparently skipped in these recaps because I think I was on holiday), and Denise would still be alive. I don’t know about that because Denise was pretty stupid and probably would have gotten herself killed anyway, but it wouldn’t have been by Dwight. So yeah, you gotta kill everyone in this world. Anyway, he leaves, Rosita is like, he’s right and goes with him, leaving Glenn and Michonne there like, the fuck just happened? But of course, Dwight and ’em come outta nowhere and surround them; example #2 of Daryl’s tracking abilities. Also, his shitty soliloquy gave the Saviors time to come up with their “surround” plan. Yeah, this all Daryl’s fault.

-Rick and Morgan continue their back-and-forth about life being precious and shit, and Morgan remembers that they threw Carol in the bushes after she killed those people at the prison, and what would happen now; Rick says they would thank her, and Morgan is like, you see what happens when you give people another chance? But that’s different, bruh; that’s Carol, not some mufucka with a W in his forehead THAT TELLS YOU, POINT BLANK, HE’S GON’ COME BACK AND KILL YOU. Why is this so hard for him to understand?  Rick is like, I’ll deal with that later as they approach a farmhouse, and they see a walker that kinda looks like Carol, but it isn’t. They reach the farmhouse and there is a dude there, and he says he is looking for his horse, and Rick is like, we’re looking for our friend. The dude peaces out, but a buncha walkers emerge and that allows him to run while Rick and Morgan fight them off. Rick thinks dude is a Savior and Morgan is like, we don’t know that….really, who cares. He also tells Rick that he had that dude in the basement, and Carol knew about it, but that Wolf saved Denise, who then saved Carl in the most roundabout fucking argument I’ve ever heard. He ain’t know that dude threatened Denise on a damn-near minutely basis and if Denise would have died, he wouldn’t have cared. Man. Fuck Morgan, b. Anyway, he tells Rick that he should go back and he’ll go after Carol, and Rick gives him a gun and he doesn’t wanna take it, but Rick is like, don’t be stupid. Rick also tells Morgan that Michonne did steal the protein bar from the premiere, “First Time Again“. Morgan is like, mufucka, I know and they laugh. I forgot about that.

-Rick gets back to Alexandria, and everyone is still gone, and the two share a moment about being afraid to get close to anyone again. Fair, but yo…..we ain’t got time for this sappy shit right now.

-Maggie gets Enid to cut her hair short, like, Carol’s length, and Maggie says she has to keep going, so I guess she needs a change. But just then, she starts screaming in pain and doubles over, and Enid starts freaking out. Maggie better not lose this baby. Sure wish there was something close to a doctor left, but oh wait, she decides to try and play warrior last week.

-Daryl and Rosita are sneaking around and they see Glenn and Michonne tied up, and he tells them to be quiet, but Glenn is obviously tryna warn him and oh wouldn’t you fucking know it, there is Dwight, behind Daryl with a gun. He pulls the trigger and says “he’ll be alright” as there is a buncha blood splatter and the episode ends. The final example of Daryl being a terrible tracker. There have been other examples in past episodes, too. He was good in the early seasons, but he is just awful in the last few. And honestly, he hope he is dead, but I’m prepared for him to be alive because after the Glenn thing, you won’t fool me again. He should be dead and Carol should be dead, and it hurts my soul to say it, but they should be and I hope they are.

-Oh yeah, before I wrap this up: Flight 462 had their 15th episode, and the pieces are finally coming together. The glass broke and the plane is going down and as they’re going through people putting on their masks, you get a quick look at a flight attendant and she doesn’t look good at all. So they’re gon’ crash in the ocean, which is where all the zombies come from in the trailer for the second season of Fear The Walking Dead (which I’m not sure if I’ma write about this season because life is busy and Game Of Thrones takes precedence….maybe I’ll break it up in five-episode recaps). That’s my guess. The last clip will air during next week’s finale.

So what do I think will happen next week? I think we should finally see Negan, who is going to kill someone. I guess if I had to rank them, I’d say Daryl is most likely, followed by Carol, Michonne and Glenn. Someone gotta die, though. I’ll be pissed if that doesn’t happen. What is Carl planning to do with that gun? Will Morgan use the gun that Rick gave him? Will the Saviors hit Alexandria now that they’re terribly outmanned? I’m not watching any trailers or anything, but I do know it’s 90 minutes. Let’s go, The Walking Dead. You’ve brought us this far with your ridiculousness. Don’t back off now.

 

The Walking Dead S06E14 – Twice As Far

The Walking Dead are taking their sweet time rolling out this Negan storyline, but it seems as though things are coming to a head with “Twice As Far”, which featured a couple of characters teaching you the age-old adage of “stay in your lane”. Let’s go….

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-We start with the open, where everyone is walking around Alexandria like things are all good. Olivia is in the pantry, which is full of stuff now. Father Bitchass is walking around with a gun, Eugene is taking turns watching out and while it’s nice that these two want to play a bigger role….do you want them playing security guard for your family? Anyway, more on that later. Morgan is gettin’ his Donatello on as he practices by himself, Carol is smoking and playing with the rosary beads she found last week, and Morgan is also putting the finishes touches on the jail cell he was starting a few weeks ago. He tells Rick that the jail cell is so that he’ll have a choice next time, instead of just killing someone. This dude just doesn’t get it.

-We run through the same sequence, except there is a scene where Tobin kisses Carol as she is smoking and playing with the beads again. So I guess that is officially a thing now between Tobin and Carol, and where the hell is she getting all these cigarettes? Same place they’re getting gas for all this driving, I guess. We see Rosita getting dressed after sleeping with Spencer; way to get back on the horse, girl. Abe wasn’t shit, anyway.

-Daryl is going through his things on his motorcycle bag when Carol approaches him, just handing out cigarettes like she’s the smoke fairy. Carol asks Daryl if he saved the people in the forest, and Daryl says he should have killed him. Seeing Carol lose the Killa in her makes me so sad. Even Daryl notices because he asks Carol what the people in the slaughterhouse did to her and Maggie, and Carol says they didn’t do anything. I’m taking that as, they didn’t do anything, but this group, they’re the ones that made Carol like this, and they’re the ones that are driving her away.

-Denise watches Abe and Eugene leave Alexandria, and then she focuses on a walker that is caught on a spike, just staring it down. It was here that I figured she would do something stupid during this episode. Then we switch to Spencer and Rosita, and he asks the ol’ “what are we doing” question, and she doesn’t wanna say, dude you were just a piece….so she agrees to have dinner with him. Relationships in the zombie apocalypse? Ehhhhhhhhhhh……I’m not fond of them, but I guess. Maggie and Glenn worked, so far anyway. Just be a rebound, bruh.

-Denise tells Rosita and Daryl about an apothecary that should have some drugs, and she wants to retrieve them, but she obviously needs the two of them to go with her. She says she’ll go with or without them, which is definitely pointing towards her doing something stupid. She wouldn’t get half a mile outside the walls without dying. So the three of them hop in a truck and start the journey, then they stop for a minute. Daryl and Rosita check the place out, Rosita grabs some booze from a walker and Denise sits in the truck by herself. She is looking at Rosita, wondering how in the hell she can get up to kill a walker, and you can see where this story is going. Rosita wants to take some tracks to get to the apothecary, while Daryl wants to take the road; Rosita’s way is a shortcut, but Denise goes with Daryl.

-Eugene and Abe are walking down an alley, and Eugene has a ponytail now, because that’s better than a mullet? Sure. Abe says he has been taking more guard shifts, hollerin’ at the ladies….basically, what’s up, bruh? And Abe is like, I’m a survivor, and Eugene is like, yeah, okay dogg….we’ll see when the rubber hits the road.

-Rosita is waiting for Daryl and Denise, who apologizes to Rosita about going with Daryl, and wonders how she learned how to use weapons. Rosita is adamant that it wasn’t Abe, and she’s mad, but Denise is oblivious. They get to the apothecary and open it up, but look at all the handprints on the outside….that shit is creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

-Eugene and Abe are inside a machine shop of some sort, and Eugene wants to figure out how to make things like more bullets here. Then a walker comes around the corner, but its head was dipped in liquid metal or something, so when Eugene tries to stab it, it won’t go through. He struggles with the thing for a minute before Abe steps in and kills it, and Eugene goes off on Abe, talkin’ about he would have killed it and your services are no longer required. BRUH……I was so mad. Eugene is lucky he is still alive….you lied to us, got a buncha people killed, you’re not a damn scientist, we’ve had to save you a whole slew of times and you got the fuckin’ nerve to holler in my face? Abe should have left him right there when he told the group he wasn’t a scientist. What a fuckboy. Abe was like, find your own way home, bitch, and peaced out.

Fear The Walking Dead: Flight 462…..this is becoming the best part of The Walking Dead.

-The trio is going through the apothecary and Denise finds a keychain that says Dennis, which we eventually learn was her twin brother. They also find all the drugs and Daryl is like, we’re takin’ all this shit….. ALL OF IT. Denise notices a room and she’s like, okay, I can do this, and I’m like, BITCH STAY THE FUCK AWAY. It’s basically the creepiest room of the whole place, with a super-old walker on the ground, a crib, the words “HUSH HUSH HUSH” written on the wall and a shoe in a sink of blood, so we can assume that a baby was in there. All that was left was for the room to whisper “GET OUT”. Denise peaced out with the quickness. Again….stay in your lane.

-Denise is crying outside and the other two don’t say anything about it. Daryl even says she did good to find the apothecary, and he doesn’t do that very often. They decide to take Rosita’s way back to the truck, while Daryl and Denise talk about having shitty brothers. I keep forgetting about what a dickbag Merle was. Tried to get my man T-Dogg killed.

-So, here we go: they’re walking down the tracks and Denise sees a car with a cooler in it, but the car also has a walker in there. But Denise really needs a fucking soda and even though they tell her not to try it, she wants to puff her chest out and be stupid. Of course, there is a struggle, and eventually Denise kills the walker, and gets her soda. She goes on about some rant about this being more than a soda, she wanted to go with Daryl because he makes her feel safe like her brother did, and she wants to help Rosita deal with being alone, and motherfucker, no one asked you to do any of this. She’s standing there, yelling and being all loud, and then BAM……she catches an arrow through the eyeball, which might have been avoided if she didn’t stop for a damn soda. So fuckin’ pressed.

-The Savior that stole Daryl’s bike, Dwight, comes out of the woods with his group as well as Eugene, who of course has been caught because he isn’t that good at this sot of thing. They have a standoff and Dwight tells Daryl and Rosita that they’re going to take everyone to Alexandria, or Eugene dies, at which point I’d be like, well, tough shit, bruh. But Eugene sees Abe behind a barrel and when Dwight tells someone to go check it out, Eugene bites him on the dick for like……I don’t know, longer than a bite should go. The shootout starts and Eugene gets hit, but our group wins and gets the hell outta dodge, carrying Eugene along the way because he got shot with a mouth full of dick. They walk by Denise’s body like, yo…..over a GD soda?

-Everyone is back at Alexandria, and Eugene is going to be fine, and Abe is like, cool….lemme tries something. He ends up at Sasha’s house and she’s like, fine, come on in, and if Abe works this out, dammit, there is a threesome there for him. So many failed threesomes in this show. Carol and Daryl bury Denise, so I assume they went back out to get her, and Carol tells Daryl that he was right about letting the Saviors live….had he killed Dwight, maybe this wouldn’t have happened. Carol is down in the dumps, and we see Tobin reading a letter that says she is leaving Alexandria, because “I love you all here, I do, and I’d have to kill for you. And I can’t. I won’t”, so she doesn’t wanna be a Killa anymore? Another day passes, much like the opening the episode with Rosita taking Eugene’s spot as the guard, and Sasha looks like her like, oooooooh, I’m fuckin’ ya man. And Morgan looks at Carol’ empty swing. Motherfucker, YOU did that.

What an infuriating episode this was. Listen, I get that people need to defend themselves, but Denise went out of her way and put others in danger, and ended up dying because of it. Eugene needs to stick his chest back in a little and realize why the fuck he is still living. And now someone is going to have to go and look for Carol….I’m assuming Daryl, and that might lead them to Negan, because I think he has eyes on Alexandria right now. Not the best episode of The Walking Dead, not the worst. It kind of encapsulates the second half of this season.

 

 

The Walking Dead S06E13 – The Same Boat

The Walking Dead rolled towards the finish line of Season 6 with “The Same Boat”, and there wasn’t a lot that happened in this episode. All it did was strengthen my belief that my favorite character is probably not long for this world. Let’s go…..

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-It starts where “Not Tomorrow Yet” left off, with Carol and Maggie getting ambushed. Carol doesn’t kill the man that runs up on them, because she has a conscience now, which isn’t going to work out for her. Then they’re surrounded by the Saviors, led by Alicia Witt, whose name is Paula here, but she has been in everything. Seriously, everything. Anyway, we see Paula talking to Rick about the hostage situation.

-Maggie and Carol are taken to a cell, where they get to know the rest of Paula’s crew. They leave for a minute and Carol finds some rosary beads on the floor, while Maggie tries to at least loosen her bonds around her hands. The group returns and Carol starts hyperventilating, and Maggie is like, uhhhhhhhh, I don’t know if this is a plan or what, but sure, I’ll roll with it. Meanwhile, Carol is getting made fun of by Molly, but Carol asks her not to smoke because of Maggie’s baby. I’m not sure I would have told the group that Maggie was pregnant, but hey, she must have a plan.

-The guy that Carol shot is PISSED that Paula and ’em are letting Carol and Maggie live, and starts wylin’ out, smacking Paula and kicking Carol, until Paula gunbutts him and knocks his ass out. Paula doesn’t look like she is in control of much here. That’s one of my main issues with this episode, and really, I only have two: one is that I don’t buy Alicia Witt as the ringleader of a bad group. I’ll get to two in a bit here. Sucks, too. I’ve always liked her in stuff. I just didn’t buy it.

-Michelle, one of the Saviors, tells Maggie that she was pregnant once, and that Maggie should know that her group aren’t the good guys. Maggie is looking at her like, I didn’t say we were, but I’ll let you cook. Paula is in the other room telling Carol that she’s pathetic, which means she’s not going to make it out of this episode. Rick tries to holla at Paula to see what’s up with this hostage trade, but Paula isn’t much for talking. Carol tries to explain to Paula why her group killed those people at the outpost because Negan’s motorcycle gang tried to take Daryl, Sasha and Abe. Then Molly says some bullshit about them all being Negan, and at this point, just show the man (and I know it’s a man because of the leaked casting). This is getting annoying now. I want them all to die. Oh, and then Carol and Paula play the “well, you’re a killer too” game. You’re both killers. Stop it.

-Paula does radio Rick to set something up, but she worries that Rick and ’em are already close to, or already inside, their building. Paula and Molly leave, and Carol gets herself free, of course. Carol goes to rescue Maggie, who decides that they can’t leave anyone alive, because pregnant Maggie is in a position to make this decision. They also find that Donnie died of his gunshot from Carol and is starting to turn, and when Donnie attacks Molly, they kill her and take her gun. Meanwhile, Paula gets back to the cell and sees all the dead bodies, and is like, OH SHIT I’M NOT BUILT FOR THIS AT ALL.

-Carol and Maggie meet Paula at the hallway of death, which features a slew of impaled walkers right down the middle. Paula wastes all her bullets and doesn’t hit anyone, and Carol tells Paula to run so she doesn’t have to kill her, even Maggie is like, KILL HER. And this is issue #2: Carol is going to die. She’s getting soft and that doesn’t work out in the world of The Walking Dead. Then a walker comes out of nowhere and Maggie kills it, and then goes to fight Michelle. Why the hell is pregnant Maggie doing all this fighting? Does this bother anyone? Anyway, Michelle slashes at her stomach, but Maggie narrowly avoids it and then Carol shoots her in the head.

-Carol doesn’t want to kill an injured Paula, but Paula rushes at her and Carol has to push her into an impaled walker, which eats Paula’s face. Then Carol concocts a plan to meet the rest of the Saviors in a room, which she sets on fire in what was probably the best scene of the episode. Carol’s kill count is now, what, 25, 26? She’s getting there. Anyway, they get out of the slaughterhouse, killing a turned Paula along the way, and reunite with the group. Maggie and Glenn hug, and Daryl asks Carol if she is okay; Carol is like, NAH BRUH.

-Rick asks the guy that they have held hostage, Primo, if Negan was in there and Primo is like, I’m Negan, and Rick is like, fuck this, and shoots him. There ya go.

-Oh, before I forget, outside of the “setting everyone on fire” part, the best part of the episode was the latest clip for Fear The Walking Dead: Flight 462……oooooooooooh buddy. Only two left in that, as well. AMC is capitalizing on this like shit, and good for them.

That “I’m not okay” by Carol at the end of the episode was the most telling part. She is getting racked by guilt over all the dirt that she has done, and I think it started with Sam. I understand why she is because Carol hasn’t been a good person, but she’s still my favorite character and is now at the top of the Death Pool rankings, which is a constant revolving door. I’m just kinda bitter that an episode centered around two of my three favorite characters was just so…..I don’t know….meeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh.

So now, it’s really just a matter of who is going to die….someone is. The mission for Rick’s group is to find Negan, which I hope they do soon because this whole “we’re all Negan” shit is annoying. But there are only three episodes left in Season 6 of The Walking Dead, so we should get some answers soon.

The Walking Dead S06E12 – Not Tomorrow Yet

The Walking Dead is coming down the homestretch now with “Not Tomorrow Yet”, as the battle with Negan and the Saviors is looming. This was a nice little start, but the ending definitely raised the stakes. Let’s go…..

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-We open with Carol, doing her little homemaker thing, going through how much food they don’t have anymore in Alexandria. Remember that run Daryl and Rick were supposed to make, to find crops and shit, and instead started fuckin’ around with Jesus and not driving back to the spot like they were supposed to? Yeah. But she takes some time out to kill a walker while out looking for stuff, and it’s gon’ take a lot of Tide pens to get that blood out. Anyway, she makes acorn cookies, and I’d eat ’em, because her casseroles were godly and her cookies shut Sam up….also made him go a little crazy, but these things happens. She gives the cookies to everyone, including Tobin, and they do some weird old-people flirting. This is going to be gross.

-Rick and ’em return and Rick tells everyone to meet at the church in an hour. He tells Carol that they’re gon’ have to fight, and Carol looks like she feels some kinda way about it. Killa Carol…..now is NOT the time to get soft on me. That’s how mufuckas die, and you’re the only person on this godforsaken show that I don’t want to die. Then Morgan comes around the corner and asks Carol why he didn’t tell Rick about the Wolf that he tried to rehabilitate, and Carol is like, we ain’t got time for that shit right now. Morgan always wants to talk about shit. Then she drops a cookie off at Sam’s headstone and we’re off.

-Rick tells the group of a plan to kill the Saviors before they attack Alexandria, and OH LOOK, THERE GOES MORGAN WANTING TO TALK TO THEM. I’m getting real sick of this guy….but it sucks because he can fight and you need fighters. I know he wasn’t around for Terminus or the Governor, but this is getting ridiculous. No one has his back, though, and Rick is like, aight, everybody gotta die. But for a second, Jesus looks at Morgan, and I bet he’ll talk to Morgan at some point. I don’t trust that dude for a second.

-Carol wakes up in the middle of the night and adds “Ws7” to a list, which means she killed seven of the Wolves, and she tallies up that she has killed 18 people so far. KILLA CAROL PUTTIN’ IN WORK.

-Sigh. She’s gon’ die.

-Maggie tells Glenn that she is going on this mission because she is the one who brokered the deal, but she will stay on the perimeter. This seems like a REALLY bad idea. I admire her courage, but Maggie has bigger things to worry about. Going out on potential killing missions while pregnant has to be against some kind of rule, although I guess all rules are out in the zombie apocalypse.

-Carol finds Tobin on his porch, and Tobin marvels at her ability  to do, as he says, things that terrify him. He boils it down to her maternal instinct and being protective, but he also says that she is more to him to that, and they kiss. Yup. She’s dying. I’m just preparing for that now. Fuck.

-Abe is packing up his shit and Rosita is like, NAH BRUH. And then he hits her with, “I thought you were the last woman on Earth, but you’re not”. What a dickhole. I don’t know, some people like him, but I’ve never liked Abe. Honestly, he could die in this episode and I’d be like, cool. But again, you need fighters. But for a laugh, Eugene got the door shut on him and I got this text from my homegirl Holly: “And for comic relief, we got Eugene seeing his parents split up”. That nails that.

-Elsewhere, Tara and Denise have a moment and Tara tells her that she loves her, which seems like it’s moving kinda fast, but hey, it’s the zombie apocalypse. Denise says she’ll say it when Tara comes back; she is also going on a two-week run after they do this mission. Meanwhile, Rick gives the blueprint for how they’re going to attack the Saviors, and that they’re going to give them Gregory’s head. This sounds like a bloody plan. I like it.

-That Brothers Grimsby movie looks terrible. I might be the only person in the world that doesn’t find that Borat dude funny.

-The group gets to a spot and they beep horns to attract walkers, and they decide they’ll meet later. Father Bitchass tells Rick that he won’t back down and Rick is like, why you still wearin’ that church stuff. and FB replies that he still thinks he is who he was, or some bullshit. Also, it’ll be harder for them to see him in the dark. Now THAT shit was funny. Then Rosita runs up on Carol and tells her that she almost told Rick and ’em about Morgan in the church, and Carol tells her to keep her mouth shut, which she agrees to do, but Rosita’s so mad. For good reason, but she’s maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Better not run up on Carol like you’re about to do something.

-Glenn and Heath kills two walkers and they tell each other that they haven’t killed people yet, only walkers. I’ll take their word for it because I’m not looking through six seasons of stuff, but that surprises me about Glenn. He has never shot anyone? Not even at Terminus or with the Governor? Huh. Interesting.

-Glenn had sawed off that walker’s head, which added to the numbers of heads. Rick’s plan is to use one of those heads to fool the Saviors, who would think it was Gregory, and then roll in through the front. Jesus says that the nose on the head Rick picked is different from Gregory, so Rick punches the head in the face a buncha times. Andy, who was part of the Hilltops, says “the Saviors: they’re scary but those pricks got nothing on you.”. Yeah, dogg, Rick ain’t here for fuckin’ around. He makes terrible decisions and he’s probably going to get people killed, but he doesn’t go back on what he decides.

-YOOOOOOOOOOOO That Fear The Walking Dead: Flight 462 joint. He FINALLY turned. Ate the fuck outta his wife, too haha.

The Purge: Election Year. That is a real thing. I thought it was fake until just now.

-Andy rolls up to the Saviors’ compound with the head in a bag, and the guards say that it’s cool, but Daryl slides up and kills one of them while the other goes to get someone. The group heads into the compound and starts puttin’ in work, and Rick gets kill of the week for slowly, and grossly, putting his knife in the head of a sleeping dude. That shit was great. Glenn and Heath do the same thing, although Glenn takes one for Heath, who ain’t about that life. Man, I coulda SWORN Glenn killed a mufucka or three before. But he doesn’t feel so bad now, because the Saviors kept trophy pictures of people they killed, with their heads crushed. And these are the mufuckas Morgan want to talk to? Fuck outta here.

-Tara and Father B (I’m just getting lazy now, and I barely remember dude’s name at this point) are with Jesus, Andy and some Craig guy, that the guard apparently went to get (and I assume he is dead now) in a car. Tara tells Father B that she feels some kinda way about this mission, and that is why she told Denise that she loved her, and Father B is like, well, you have a reason to fight now. If only Jesus and Andy knew that they could get outta this with no problems. Get past Tara and they’re good.

-Abe and Sasha find a Savior and after a fight, the Savior pulls the alarm, so there goes that plan. Maggie wants to go in and fight, and Carol is like, are you fuckin’ crazy? Shoulda left her ass at home. The fight is on now; Aaron has to stab a guy after running in his room, Tara pops two people, Glenn and Heath find an armory and lay waste to a buncha people on the other side of the door, and Jesus finishes one of them off. Even Father B kills someone, and hits ’em with an “Amen”. Alright, buddy. That’s a good start to removing the B from your name.

-In the morning, the group does a sweep. Glenn asks Heath and Tara to postpone their run, but they decide to go anyway. We see Morgan back at Alexandria, welding what I think is a door for a cell. Michonne asks Rick about which one he thought Negan was and just then, a Savior comes outta nowhere on Daryl’s bike. Rosita shoots him, Daryl punches him a couple times and all is good….until a female voice comes over the radio that is on the Savior. The voice tells Rick to lower his gun, which is pointed at the Savior, and she says that they have Carol and Maggie, and they should talk about some stuff.

-I didn’t see the post-credit scene if there was one, so yeah, I’ll look for that later.

So, we’ll find out who this woman was next week, and I assume she’ll get us closer to Negan. I know Negan is a dude until the casting news that came out last year was a lie. But now that they have Carol and Maggie, all bets are off. My bet is that Carol doesn’t make it back to Alexandria, and it’ll be Rick’s fault somehow (probably being a hothead). But hey, gotta take risks and they would have come for Alexandria anyway. These last four episodes of The Walking Dead are about to be fire, I can feel it.

 

The Walking Dead S06E11 – Knots Untie

The Walking Dead rolls on with “Knots Untie”, which introduces more new people since a whole slew of mufuckas were wiped out over the first two episodes. How long will it take until these new people show that they have to die? Not long. Let’s go….

-Abe is tryna have small talk with Sasha, who he has been flirting with for a while now, but Sasha tells him that she is switching gigs with Eugene. Abe is trying so hard to not act hurt, but she threw him in that friend zone so quick. And she’s probably like, “bruh, we all know you’re fuckin’ Rosita”, and the last thing that group needs is some Jerry Springer shit. Might be the best decision anyone makes all season.Speaking of, the next scene is him in bed with Rosita, as he thinks about Sasha, being a dirtbag.

-We get our first scene with Maggie and Glenn since they’ve been reunited, and they talk about the lack of crops they’re getting. But then they see Abe and Denise running to the basement where the homie Jesus was, so they follow. Jesus is chillin’ in the living room and Carl puts the gun to his head, but Rick and Michonne tell everyone that it’s okay. Meanwhile, I think a couple people are more like, sooooooooo……..what y’all doin’ tho?

-Jesus explains that he has a group that has food and stuff, and he was sent out to find groups to trade with. So he has obviously been spying on them, but no one presses him on it. Then they agree to go to the Hilltop, where he is from, which has bad news written all over it.

-They get ready to leave and Rick tries to explain to Carl about Michonne, but Carl is like, nah, it’s cool, dogg, do your thing. And Carl loves Michonne at this point. Obviously, it’s not his mom, but he hasn’t even said Lori’s name in a couple seasons. Fair enough, because she was terrible.

-A group of Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie and Abraham head to the Hilltop with Jesus, and Abe asks Glenn about he and Maggie bringing a child into this world. It’s a good point, but Glenn says they’re building something at Alexandria. And another point: should pregnant Maggie be on this trip? Back to that in a bit.

-They see an overturned car on the road, which Jesus recognizes as being from his place, so they investigate it because why not. Daryl tracks them to a building, leaving Jesus with Maggie, which seems like another terrible idea, but she has a gun and Maggie will shoot you in the face. They found the group in the building, killing a couple walkers along the way, and they realize that one is also an obstetrician, which is great for Maggie and Glenn, and worries the shit outta me. One of the survivors tells Jesus that he was his dead wife when he thought he was going to die, which strikes a nerve with Abe because of his past. He’s going to snap and get someone killed, probably himself, but definitely someone else.

-They get to the Hilltop, which is guarded by a couple of dudes with spears, and it’s a good thing they weren’t black or else this recap would have been 2,000 words of fire. But they weren’t, and they want Rick and ’em to lower the guns, and Rick is like, man, WE GOT GUNS AND Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN’ SPEARS. Jesus calms everyone down and Rick and ’em get to keep their guns, and that they ran out of ammo months ago. This keeps getting more fishy, bruh. But they got a mansion that used to be a museum as well as crops, so Rick and ’em are like, well, we’re here.

-They meet Gregory, the leader, who wants everyone to clean up before they sit on anything, which is fair, but Rick’s group don’t even look that dirty outside of Daryl, and that’s just his thing at this point. Rick wants Maggie to talk to Gregory, which is why she is here: because of her work with Deanna. Rick hopes she picked up some skills on how to talk to mufuckas. But she tries that and Gregory is a douche, telling her that he knows they don’t have much food, that they’ll only help if the Alexandria people work at the Hilltop, and then proceeds to either hit on Maggie, or basically tell her that she’s about to be a sex slave or something (not in so many words, but that’s what I got out of it). Maggie is like, y’all ain’t got ammo or medication, and we can do this easy, and Gregory is like, NOAP. Man, after all Maggie has been through? He has no idea who he is messing with. After her run-in with The Governor, Maggie doesn’t scare easily. And this felt kinda Governor-y.

-Everyone else is outside and a group returns to the Hilltop from a meeting with Negan, who has killed two of them and they’re holding a third. There was also a message from Negan, delivered by someone named Ethan, who stabbed Negan in the stomach and a fight ensues. Rick ends up killing Ethan, while Daryl saves Abe from being choked out, although he didn’t put up much of a fight. Rick gets up with blood on his face like, THE FUCK Y’ALL WANNA DO, and Jesus is like, they’re good, Ethan started it, but some girl punches Rick and you know Michonne ain’t here for that at all. She pushed that girl to the ground like she wasn’t anything. Rick got him a down-ass chick that can fight now….which will suck that much more when she dies.

-Goddamn, that was good. Rick seriously looked at them like, you think this is the first time I’ve had a mufucka’s blood on my face and my mouth? This ain’t even zombie blood. Fuck outta here with that. Daryl in the background like, y’all don’t wanna fuck with him.

-Meanwhile, Abe leaves a necklace that Rosita gave him on the ground, right there, and he’s about to bring so much fuckass drama to this spot. And no one cares, b.

-Jesus tells the group about Negan, who runs The Saviors, and the deal was that they wouldn’t attack the Hilltop in exchange for half of what they had, on some Eddie Murphy in Raw shit. Rick is like, yo, how about we kill Negan and ’em, in exchange for what you got, and Jesus says he’ll take that to Gregory. Yo, these Hilltop people gotta be working with the Saviors. They can’t be outchea gettin’ got by EVERYBODY, can they?

-Gregory tells Maggie that he agrees to the deal, but Maggie is like, nah, HALF, EDDIE (just watch the clip). He agrees to that because like she said, the Saviors will keep coming for more until they have everything, then they’ll just kill everyone at the Hilltop anyway. Maggie had this in her long before Deanna.

-They leave the Hilltop, and Rick is briefed on Negan’s compound, while Maggie and Glenn get an ultrasound from that doctor (Harlan), and they show the group the picture of their unborn child. What in the hell are they setting us up for?

A solid episode, I’d say, and it made sense for the most part (it wouldn’t be a TWD episode if there weren’t a couple stupid things, but nothing awful). We learn a little more about Negan and how ain’t-shit he is, so they’re setting that up for the last few episodes of the season. They’re focusing on Abe a little more, which makes him rise up the TWD Death Power Rankings. I also don’t completely trust the Hilltop people, because that Ethan guy stabbed Gregory a little too easily. In cahoots with Negan, and everyone has been watching Alexandria, concocting this plan? We’ll see. The next episode looks like everyone is Rambo-ing up to prepare for this siege….but I bet Negan and ’em already know it’s coming. Alright, Walking Dead, I’m ready.

 

The X-Files Miniseries Ep.6 – My Struggle II

The X-Files came to an end last week with “My Struggle II”, which is a continuation of the first two episodes. But this recap is going to be less about the actual episode and more about the entire reboot as a whole. This episode didn’t really do a whole hell of a lot, but it still wasn’t worse than Ep.5, “Babylon”, which I watched again and it was REALLY bad. But anyway, let’s go…..

-Everyone has alien DNA, which is going to set off an epidemic, which it feels like they’ve done before. Scully meets Agent Reyes, who tells her that she agreed to help Smoking Man with the colonization process, but Reyes now wants to help stop it, even though it’s probably too late now. Great timing. That’s why I’ve put the last 3-4 seasons of the show outta my head. Reyes and Doggett could eat it.

-As Scully is coming up with a vaccine, Mulder finds Smoking Man, and Miller finds them as well, with Smoking Man offering them a chance to survive. He starts peeling off his face in probably the coolest part of the episode, while Mulder starts dying from the virus. Miller takes Mulder to Washington, where Scully finds them in the middle of congested traffic, and Mulder needs a stem-cell transplant….but he can only get it from William. Then a UFO shines a light down onto them, right into Scully’s eyes and it ends.

The X-Files started off really well, but it limped towards the finish line. I really liked the first two episodes, Ep.3 was very good and Ep.4 was the best of the bunch, for me. Ep.5, no need to go into that again. But this episode, it wasn’t that it was bad, it just seemed rushed and my thing is, they needed more episodes. They really only spent three episodes on the alien stuff and then three stand-alones, although you could argue that Ep.4 at least had elements. And that was my fear going into it: either make six standalone episodes, or use all six on the alien stuff, either way, I’m good with. When it was on television the first time, The X-Files could afford to be all over the place because there was 20-plus episodes to play with, so you had time to go back to either side. I don’t know, man. It was just all over the place by the end of it.

-That being said, I still liked this reboot for the simple fact that I love seeing Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny back together again. It just felt right. The banter, OH MY LAWD, THE BANTER. The streets have missed that back-and-forth, even though it was self-indulgent at times. They did very well with what they had.

-MVP of the season? Joel McHale for playin Tad’s smarmy ass. He nailed that part, even at the end when he looked like he was turning into a zombie. Not MVP? Shared between Lauren Ambrose and Robbie Amell as bootleg Mulder and Scully. I’m not watching a reboot with just them.

-On the other end, the writing over the last two episodes was kinda, I dunno, clunky at best and ridiculous at worst. I’m not one to tell Chris Carter how to run his show, he has forgotten more about writing than I’ll never know. It seemed like he tried to fit too much into those last two episodes. Especially that scene at the end of Ep.5 with Mulder and Scully.

-The ending for Ep.6……what the shit? That’s what we’re doing? They’re making another one. I don’t care about the “This is the end” in place of “The Truth is out there”. No way they don’t do another one. The ratings were too good, Anderson will be done with The Fall (seriously, y’all need to get on that) soon, and I have no idea what’s going on with Duchovny’s Aquarius, but I’m sure its fine. There’s no way they’re not doing another one. Still need to find William and get this transplant for Mulder.

Overall, sure, it could have been better. Much better. But a world with Mulder and Scully back in it is better than the alternative. Next time, a little more focus is needed if they’re only going to do six episodes. But on the whole, The X-Files was fantastically nostalgic, a little overwhelmed, and still better than a bunch of stuff out there right now.