The Walking Dead S06E16 – Last Day On Earth

Season 6 came to an end on The Walking Dead with “Last Day On Earth”, a plodding, ominous beast of an episode. I thank my terrible attention span because I was doing other shit while it was on, which is why I wasn’t as mad as some of y’all were. Can’t be outchea being engrossed by this shit. After six seasons, y’all don’t know yet? Let’s go……

jeffrey-dean-morgan-brought-negan-to-frightful

-We open from the point of view of someone in a box, with streams of light coming in. It reminds me of when they were in the container at Terminus, so it’s pretty easy to assume it’s the dumbasses that got caught because Daryl is a shitty tracker. Morgan finds a horse, probably belonging to the person at the farmhouse. Horses don’t last long in The Walking Dead. Then we have the dude that has Carol’s rosary beads, looking like he is about to turn, and he is a better tracker than Daryl. Next, we have a man running through the woods, with some whistling going on around him. Carl argues with Enid about her coming on this mission to take Maggie to the Hilltop, to a doctor. Meanwhile, the Saviors surround the man, and Rick assembles the crew, who does a lot of talking, but I don’t pay attention.

-The Saviors tell the man they were chasing that rules were broken and people had to die because of it, so it wasn’t their fault. There isn’t much explaining of the rules, but you can bet that the rules were basically, listen to us to die. Or some version of that. Not very complex, that is for sure. Meanwhile, to get Enid not to come on the mission, Carl locks her in a closet and then tells her to just survive somehow. Bruh, you locked me in a fucking closet, how in the hell am I supposed to get out? It’s about to be that kind of episode. Mufuckas about to act real good and stupid.

-Rick lets Aaron join the group, and apparently Father Bitchass is in charge while he is gone. That sounds like it should go on the pantheon of Rick’s bad ideas. First things first….why can’t you just go and get the doctor and bring that person there? Why are you leaving Alexandria completely unattended? Everyone that is worth a damn is gone. Your best bet was pregnant Maggie.

-Gallopin’ Morgan finds Carol huddled on a stoop, and she got cut in her scuffle with the dude from last episode. The Saviors drag this poor man, who is basically a human pinata for them, into the road, and the leader says they’re making an example of him. The man asks to who since his people are all dead, and gets kicked in the back for his troubles. Rick’s group is trying to keep Maggie calm in the RV, and I forgot she cut her hair. Morgan plays doctor with Carol (not that way, pervs) so they can go back to Alexandria, but Carol doesn’t want to. Of course, Morgan is stubborn and doesn’t fucking listen to anyone, so she might as well stop fighting.

-The RV meets up with the Savior group, who are standing in the middle of the road. Rick offers to make a deal and dude is like, how about you give us your shit and we don’t kill you, and Rick is like, eh, we’ll just leave. The two go back and forth about this being one of their last day on Earth, hence the name of the episode. All I hear is Mase’s “24 Hours to Live” in the background. Round 1 goes to the Saviors, because Rick was like, we don’t want those problems.

-After commercial, we go to the box with the light streams and the heavy breathing, so this will pop up a couple more times in the episode. In the RV, Carl asks Aaron why he is here and he says he owes Maggie, while Carl says he owes the Saviors. Again, selfish motives ruining the group. At least Rick is selfish with a plan, these mufuckas are just runnin’ around all willy-nilly. Carol is telling Morgan how she cares about the group, and is willing to kill for them, but she doesn’t want to kill anymore, so she had to leave. She points a gun at him, but Carol is tired. And I get what she is saying, but man, you gotta tell them first, you know that they’re going to come after you, and here we are, with no one at Alexandria, and everybody about to die.

-Abe tells Sasha that he is ready to bring new life into the world, and she smiles at a dumb fucking idea. Are you serious? That is exactly what you need. A fucking baby in a zombie apocalypse. I thought Maggie and Glenn’s baby was a bad idea, too. But then, they run into another group of Saviors, this time, there are more of them, and they turn around as one of the Saviors busts his gun into the air. It’s probably about this point where they should be thinking of an alternate plan.

-Morgan finds a walker hanging from something and decides to kill it and cut it down. Really, bruh? Compassion for fucking zombies? I’m so done with this dude. And he left Carol, who runs away, so now he has to go find her again. What was he even doing?

-The RV gets to another roadblock, this time, with a line of walkers chained to each other, which means there was some work put into this one. Then they notice that one of the walkers has two of Michonne’s dreadlocks, and another has bolts from Daryl’s crossbow, so yeah, these people are better at this than y’all. The Saviors start shooting from the woods and the group peaces out in the RV. But they realize that the Saviors were shooting at their feet; they would be dead if they wanted them to be.

-Preview of Fear The Walking Dead: zombies in the water, and I assume that is Strand’s place that is on fire. Sure. I’ll watch this.

-The RV is starting to break down, and Rick tells Maggie (whose condition is getting worse) that they’re fine, but his faces are so good. When they get to yet another roadblock, this time, one with like, 35-40 people, his face says, oh man we are so fucked right now, Saviors outchea lookin’ like a rap-album cover from 1994.

-Meanwhile, Morgan is gallopin’ down the street and finds Carol’s beads by a freshly-killed walker. Carol is walking along and gets caught by the hurt Savior, but not before she fights off a walker and tears its face off. The hurt Savior fucks her up pretty good, and he has a gun, so he shoots her in arm, and the leg, because he wants to watch her die before he dies.

-Again, we get the box, then Rick comforting Maggie, but looking like he is going to pee himself at the thought of what is next. And I just thought of something: at this point, how do they even know that the doctor at the Hilltop (I just remembered he had that ultrasound machine because who doesn’t have an ultrasound machine?) is still alive? After meeting the Saviors, I assume everyone is dead outchea in these streets.

-Then Morgan, of course, comes out of nowhere and shoots the man all to hell and Carol is like, MOTHERFUCKER WILL YOU JUST LET ME DIE FOR FUCK SAKES. But they survive and then, well, shoutout to the homegirl Holly for this: “speaking of, who the fuck were those storm trooper dudes that Morgan met up with ?”. Mufuckas on horses dressed like Star Wars characters come around the corner, say they’ll help Morgan, mufuckas shake hands and walk off. Hahahaha the writers just don’t care anymore. And they shouldn’t. Because we’ll still watch it.

-Rick and ’em get to a big-ass log roadblock, and then the man that the Saviors are fuckin’ with, they hang him from a bridge. Aaron wants to shoot him down, but Rick says they need to conserve bullets and quite frankly, who the hell is this guy? At this point, he probably wants to die anyway. Then the logs are set on fire and the Savior from earlier says some more shit about this being the last day on Earth for someone in Rick’s group. Rick and ’em are like, man, fuck this, and peace out.

-They try to come up with a plan and Eugene says they should go on foot because they were looking for the RV. So this is the plan: Eugene drives the empty RV to lure the Saviors. Hahahaha what? And then what? Did you see how many of the Saviors there were? They’re probably watching you RIGHT NOW. HOLY SHIT. This is not gon’ end well. Eugene gives Rick the recipe for making bullets, and they all pump him up, telling him he is a survivor. What in the name of Destiny Child’s is going on here?

-The next commercial is the conclusion of Flight 462, which is a scene from Fear TWD last season as Nick looks up in the sky and sees a plane flying all screwy. He’s like, hmmm….that’s interesting. Shoutout to the flight attendant that takes her oxygen mask off and looks like she’s ready to eat.

-They put Maggie on a stretcher (WHERE IN THE FUCK DID THEY GET A STRETCHER) and leave Eugene to go and get caught. The group is walking through the woods, and they hear the whistles, and basically run right into the middle of all the Saviors, who have Eugene. They get their shit taken and they get on their knees. The box that we have been seeing all episode is actually a van, and Dwight gets out, along with Glenn, Michonne, Rosita and Daryl, who is shot, but still alive, for fuck sakes. Someone needs to explain to me why y’all love this dude so much. I really don’t get it. I never have.

-Then we get to the best part: we finally meet Negan, who has a scarf on, what is it called, an ascot? Something like that. Anyway, he also has a bat wrapped in barbed wire; so this is the Lucille that I’ve been hearing about and yup, it’s a bat wrapped in barbed wire alright. His speech rambles on, and it’s fine, after waiting this long to meet him, he can talk for as long as he wants and it’s not like anyone can say shit to him. He tells the group that they’re only still living so they can work for them, and the rules are the same that the Savior said earlier: their shit is his shit. He says “shit” a lot, which I respect as it is my favorite curse word. But Negan also says that someone has to pay because some of his men have died, and at this point, I’m like, alright, let’s do this. Glenn tries to be the big man and protect Maggie, and that shit gets shot down with the quickness. He does the eeny-meeny-miny-moe thing with the group to see who is going to get to party with Lucille, and then gets to the moe…..but we don’t see who gets it. All we see is the blood dripping down the camera, and Negan saying, you’re taking it like a champ. A couple more swings, fade to black, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd scene.

-So, people are mad about the end, but me, I liked it. I like not knowing who it is that got the business end of Lucille, and guessing throughout the off-season. I know some comic readers are going to be pressed to tell us what happens, and I’ve already read it. But the way that TWD works, you really don’t know because they’ve gone so far off the comics already. Still, don’t be a pressed asshole. We know the comics are out there and can read it ourselves if we want. No one cares, b.

-Negan was great. That was well worth the wait. He is probably already the best villain of the show so far. Yep, better than the Governor.

-The episode dragged, for sure, but AMC had to get that advertising money. Because SOMEONE has to pay to keep Better Call Saul (which is GREAT, by the way) on, and all these other new shows.

-Why are y’all are so pressed for Daryl. Is it shallow eye candy (which I approve of, shoutout to Alyssa Milano’s career)? Because he doesn’t do anything.

-I want Glenn or Daryl to be gone. Actually, anyone but Michonne.

And thus ends another season of The Walking Dead. Listen…..it’s not good. It has flashes here and there, where you can tell they really try to give the characters something good, like 2-3 episodes a season. But overall, the audience doesn’t care about those episodes and want to see death and murderkillviolence and walkers and Negan and such…..so why bother? And now people get mad at this? Psssssssh. AMC is going to do what they’re going to do, and we’re going to watch. If I were you, I’d get off the train right now because if you think it’s going to get better, it’s not. Just appreciate it for what it is, not what it isn’t. It’s frustrating, it’s entertaining, it’s a mess and we’ll watch next season because why the hell not?

That being said, I’m drawing the line at ten seasons. Unless there are dragons and nudity. Then I’m in for as long as it takes.

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One thought on “The Walking Dead S06E16 – Last Day On Earth

  1. Pingback: The Walking Dead S07E01 – The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be | The Box

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