Monthly Archives: September 2017

American Horror Story: Cult S702 – Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark

The second episode of American Horror Story: Cult keeps it moving with “Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark”, which basically screams out that you should be afraid of the dark. It was a pretty predictable episode, but it was entertaining. I don’t know if it was good or bad, but it was entertaining and that’s par for the course for this series. Let’s go……

ahs_dont_be_afraid_of_the_dark

-We pick up where we left off in the first episode, with an oddly-placed bathtub and a clown in Ally’s bed instead of Ivy, who gets a knife and they search the room, but alas, no clowns. Ivy is starting to get sick of this behavior, and says that she doesn’t know how much longer she can take this. I wonder how long it’s gon’ take them to put her, Kai and Winter together. She never happens to be around when the clowns are, even though they were together when the clown gang killed the neighbors, but that could have been just to get Ally away from the house. And Winter was there, so she would have been in on it. I give it by episode 5. They can’t let that go too long.

-The clown that was in Ally’s room went to Oz’s room, and Twisty is there too, but he goes into a room and hides in a bathtub, because bathtubs are a huge thing in AHS, my girl pointed out. We Googled that shit and it goes all the way back to the beginning, but it’s hard to keep track of stuff in this show. But you’re super vulnerable in a tub, she says, which makes sense. I really only take baths when I’m really sore, and not even then, because I ain’t tryna fight intruders with my joint all exposed in these streets. ANYWAY…..Oz’s screams alert his mothers, who wake him up from a night terror…..so, he was dreaming? Is Ally dreaming? And if you say there are clowns and they’re no longer there, why in the hell did it take so long to check on Oz? And that’s not even the worst parenting that pops up in this episode.

-Kai is running for council now that there just happens to be a seat open on the board, thanks to the death of the neighbor. He is using his beating at the hands of the Latinos that he threw a condom full of piss at as his springboard, and we find out that the beating was recorded by a couple played by Billy Eichner and Leslie Grossman. Kai is using fear as his foundation for his run at the council, specifically, fear of violence at the hands of minorities…..jeez, where have I heard and seen this before? So Ally sees this on television, then goes to investigate the new neighbours, who just so happen to be the Wiltons, but instead of knocking on the door and saying hello, Ally peeks through the window, which seems like a good way to get shot. She runs off when Harrison, dressed in some sort of overalls with a mask.

-Ivy and Ally are trying to prepare the staff at their restaurant to be on their own, and there is some beef between the manager, Roger, and a ook, Pedro, which results in swearing, some threats, and a ladel and big-ass knife getting involved. Ally tells Roger to chill and if I’m not mistaken, he started it by saying some shit that could have gotten his ass beaten. Pedro ain’t have to point the knife at him, but a good ol’ fashioned rabbit punch would have been fine.

-Oz is mad at Winter because she made him look like a liar for his description of what happened in the Chang house, but she turns it on him because, well, he’s like eight or some shit and doesn’t know how to argue yet. She does the pinky thing with him that Kai did to her, and then takes him to see the new neighbors without asking Ally and Ivy, who flip out, but yet they don’t fire her because WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. And again, STILL not the worst parenting in this episode…..actually, it might be tied for the worst.

-That introduces Ally and Ivy to the Wiltons, and we find that Harrison is a beekeeper, and he says something about the hive being fascinating because they all get down for one common cause. Oz seems to like them because apparently bees are cool, I guess. They’re fine as long as they stay the hell away from me. We also find out that the Wiltons are in a lavender marriage, which I never knew was a thing until the AHS Wikia told me that it is “one undertaken to disguise the homosexuality of one or both partners”. I’m guessing both are, because if you’re going to support the GOP and be gay, I’m imagining that would be quite difficult for a number of reasons. Also, Meadow says that she has skin cancer and a fear of the sun, and she can only be outside for 10 minutes at a time, so that’s going to come into play at some point.

-Later on, Ally and Ivy discuss if the Wiltons are cool or not, with Ally on the side of them being bad and Ivy is like, ehhhh, they’re aight. Oz can’t sleep and wants to sleep with them, and they’re like cool, but Ivy gets word that the security system is going off at the restaurant. Ally says she’ll go to see what’s up, and I can only imagine that there will be at least 38 clowns waiting for her. She hears a noise coming from the meat locker and it is the manager, Roger, hanging from a hook, so no clowns, but check for a manager hanging from a hook. Ivy shows up at the crib with her psychiatrist, Rudy, which is kinda messed up to do that to the person you love. Ally feels bad that she actually killed Roger, who was still alive, but she tried to help and that killed him. Of course, the suspect is Pedro, according to the detective, and Ally and Ivy try to convince him that he isn’t a killer. It is also revealed that Ally got a gun from the Wiltons, who have a small arsenal of guns, and Rudy wants Ivy to keep an eye on Ally, who he thinks is developing agoraphobia, which is “an anxiety disorder characterized by symptoms of anxiety in situations where the person perceives the environment to be unsafe with no easy way to get away.” (thanks, Wikipedia). I kinda think that Rudy might be in on this, too, making Ally think that she is crazy, or going crazy.

-Kai knocks on Ally’s door to say that he is running for office, and Ally is like, nah, bruh, you threw a coffee at me and my wife and he gives some fake-ass apology. He starts his spiel about how it isn’t safe anymore, more or less for white people, and Ally isn’t buying any of it, and he starts shaking the bars on the doors, which he notices are new. I have no idea why she didn’t just slam the door in his face in the first place, and it took him being a real asshole to get her to do that. Meanwhile, Ivy meets with Pedro, who swears he didn’t do it, but she looks like she is on the fence about it and yeah, she’s fuckin’ shady, b.

-Winter puts Oz to bed because she is still their babysitter somehow, and she walks in on Ally trying to figure out if she wants to take her medication (spoiler alert: she doesn’t). Why is Winter still there when Ally is home? Winter goes to run a bath for her, and we thought that the bubbles had some sort of sedative in it. We’re not even sure that it didn’t as of yet. Winter also tries to seduce Ally, who ain’t havin’ it. But they’re interrupted by the security system going off and there is a clown in Oz’s room, but Oz asks the clown (Winter suggested this to him) if he is awake or still sleeping, and the clown is like, sure, you’re sleeping, fine. And this mufucka just goes right back to sleep. And no Ally checking on him.

-Harrison tells Winter and Ally that there is a major blackout that he thinks is terrorist-related, and Winter is like, fuck it, I’m out. So Ally starts to freak out since she is by herself, and calls Ivy to tell her to come home, but Ivy wants to stay with the frozen meat at the restaurant, which seems like a terrible reason to not go home. Also, Ally’s phone dies, which is why my phone STAYS at 100% and I have the charger with me at all times. Won’t catch me in the zombie apocalypse with a dead-ass phone. So Ivy sends Pedro to go to her house with some supplies for Ally, who STILL hasn’t checked on Oz. She realizes that the security system has been cut intentionally, and then she sees the ice-cream truck that Oz was talkin’ about parked outside the house. She ends up running into a clown on the stairs as she FINALLY goes to get Oz, and she gets her gun. They go downstairs (where is the clown, tho?) and they’re about to leave when they see someone outside the door. It’s Pedro, and she shoots him, of course, and we don’t know if he’s dead, but she shoots him dead in the heart, so it’s not lookin’ good for my man. And where did she learn to shoot like that? Definitely not at parenting class. She skipped those. That pissed me off so much. As soon as you figure out there is a blackout, as paranoid as she is, I’d think my first move is to get my kid. But anyway…..guess someone gotta make bad decisions here.

While I am slightly annoyed by Ally, I do think that this is a group effort to make her think that everything is going to hell (well, everything is going to hell, but they’re focusing specifically on her). Ivy is definitely in on this shit, the Wiltons are as well, but I think they’ll turn on Kai at some point, Winter is just a gong show of a human and Oz might be the only one to survive this entire season of Cult. I have a lot of questions about Cult, but if AHS has taught me anything, it’s that you just have to hold on to them because there will be even more questions after the next episode, and you might not get an answer to them.

Advertisements

American Horror Story: Cult S07E01 – Election Night

I’ve had some reservations about this current season of American Horror Story. I knew that Cult was going to deal with the American election, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go through that again. I still don’t know if I wanna go through that again. But here we are with “Election Night”, which was a hot mess. Good or bad? I have no idea, but like most AHS seasons, I was intrigued. Let’s go…..

-It begins with a room full of people, led by Sarah Paulson playing Ally, crying over the election of that dude. Oh yeah, I’m not writing his name. I haven’t unless I have absolutely had to. This brought me back to the real election night when I was like, yeah, I’m going to bed, and we’ll see how messed up the world is when I wake up. I wasn’t surprised at all when I woke up. People shouldn’t be surprised by the ain’t-shitness of people anymore. Call me a cynic, but I don’t trust much and I figured this would happen. It was still a bit jarring, however. Still is. You also meet Ally’s wife Ivy and their son Ozzie, who asks if anything is going to happen to them as a family because of who got elected. This kid might end up being the best part of the show, honestly.

-Then you have Evan Peters screaming about a revolution and smearing Cheetos on his face, which was pretty damn good. I wonder what pureed Cheetos taste like. Would you drink it, or is it like a pudding? It’ll be a long winter and I might have to try that. He plays Kai and then there is his sister, Winter, who I thought was his girlfriend at first. They do this pinkie-swear thing that I bet will end up being important. Also, Winter is played by Billie Lourd, who is Carrie Fisher’s daughter. Once I was told, I could see it. She also actually campaigned for Clinton in 2016, so this is kinda real for her. It’s probably real for everyone. The jury is still out on Evan Peters being a supporter for that guy, but one thing is for sure: if there is a fucked-up character on AHS, he’ll find a way to play it.

-Next, we get to my favorite part of the episode, where this couple is gettin’ down out in the woods and they even mention Twisty at first, and BOOM, here he comes. So, instead of running, they try to talk to him. THEN, dude pulls out a gun and shoots him, and it doesn’t kill him….again……DOESN’T RUN. And I don’t know how he let Twisty get close enough to him with a pair of shears to slice his throat, but fuck it, man, you don’t wanna move, you deserve it. Meanwhile, she’s in the background crying and shit, watching her boyfriend get stabbed a buncha times instead of running. Dogg, get a damn headstart….and then she decides, hey, this nasty old bus looks like a proper place to hide. And she doesn’t even hide, she just ducks down and turns her back. Worst hide-and-seek player ever, ol’ elephant-behind-a-blade-of-grass ass. Anyway, she gets her tongue cut out after calling 911, and shouts to Twisty taking his face off (I forgot how nasty his mouth was) and saying “Wrong number” to the operator. Did she even know what he said? That shit was greatness. I’d be here for just watching Twisty stalk people all season.

-Ozzie is reading this story in a comic book, and Ally freaks out because she hates clowns. Really, who likes clowns? Oh, shouts to the 300 commercials for “It” in the span of an hour. I promise you that won’t be watched. She heads to see her therapist, Rudy Vincent, played by Cheyenne Jackson, who played the shitbag producer from Roanoke. Here, he plays a shitbag therapist as she’s like, I’m scared of everything, clowns, things with holes (which again, I didn’t know was a thing) and he’s like, meh, just take this medication and don’t go on Twitter…..basically the equivalent of “put some ‘Tussin on it”. While he does play shitbags, he is very good at it.

-Kai gets up in front of a council and makes this speech about fear, and how they shouldn’t have police protecting a Jewish community center that is likely to get threats because, well, look who got elected. That’ll be a common refrain throughout all this. He says chaos should reign so they can get stronger and fight back and not be scared anymore, and the board is like, man, you’re fuckin’ stupid, get the cops out there. Kai ends by saying that there is nothing more dangerous than a humiliated man, which sounds like enough of a threat to me, but whatever. Shouts to people who have never been oppressed about anything coming up with bullshit solutions for the oppressed.

-Ally goes to the grocery store and starts interacting with the cashier, played by Chaz Bono, who doesn’t have a hand and pulls on the red hat, talkin’ about a great leader in office now, so this is surely going to go well for her. She walks through the aisles and starts seeing clowns everywhere, being chased by clowns, clowns are having clown sex on melons, she drops at least two, maybe three, bottles of Rose because someone needs to teach her how to throw things, but it is pretty terrifiying because Sarah Paulson is incredible. If you’ve read this before, I don’t need to tell you how I feel about her. All I know is that she’s going HARD for the Emmy already. She won for the OJ miniseries, which I still need to watch, but she wants one for AHS, too. Anyway, she gets to her car and calls Ivy, and we’re watching like, WILL YOU LOOK IN THE DAMN BACKSEAT BECAUSE OF COURSE THERE IS A CLOWN THERE, and she just drives straight as shit into a pole. I’d love to make fun of this, but I’ve never seen a clown in the backseat of my car, so there is that.

-Ivy says that there is no evidence of any clown shit in that store, and one-armed McGee also disappeared as well. So the next day, they’re talking about the restaurant they own, and Ivy thinks Ally is becoming obsessed with what happened. Also, and this is a huge point, Ivy reveals that Ally didn’t vote for Hillary; she voted for Jill friggin’ Stein, which was basically a vote for the other guy. Between the Jill Stein people and the Bernie Sanders people (don’t even get me started on that), here we are. All I kept hearing is, they’re basically the same candidates (Hillary and dude), so the Bernie people were cranky from the Democratic vote, and then they either didn’t vote or voted for him or Jill Stein. And here the fuck we are. Yeah, I don’t know if I can actually do this because I get more mad the more I think about it.

-Kai sees Ally and Ivy on the street and spills coffee on the street about it, and is sorrynotstorry about it. Ally should have went high, Ivy go low, and stomp his ass out.

-Then you get two scenes at the same time: Ivy and Ally interviewing Winter to be Ozzie’s nanny, and Kai interviewing Winter, asking her anal sex and if there was poop and blood involved, and what scares her the most, and of course she says that it’s him because he’s nuts. They ask Winter when can she start, and I can’t wait for this idea to go south.

-Kai runs out and starts taunting a group of Hispanic dudes and throws a condom filled with urine at them, but someone is recording them as they beat the dogshit out of him. It isn’t Winter because she’s babysitting Ozzie, who is drawing pictures of Twisty killing people because, why not. Winter shows him a website of actual violence, describing it as a vaccine for his brain. Then he sees an ice-cream truck and four clowns get out, and they go into the house across the street. At the same damn time, Ally and Ivy are having dinner of their restaurant, which ends quickly after Ally sees a clown in the place, and sees fingers and holey food on her dish. Ivy asks her if she is insane, and I think it was her when my girl was like, yeah, Ivy is in on all this shit. Makes sense to me. She pointed out that if Ally is so scared of clowns, how in the hell does Ozzie have clown comics and not only that, clown comics where said clown is killin’ mufuckas? All good points. Also, Ivy is kind of a dick to Ally, who might have problems, but she isn’t being very sympathetic at all towards her.

-Back to Winter and Ozzie, they manage to sneak over to the house where the clowns are at, and they see the clowns killing the guy on the council that shot down Kai’s proposal earlier, and his wife, who he was mad at for not voting. Ozzie sees all this and Winter is like, yeah, go ahead. Then Ally and Ivy get home to a cordoned-off street and find Ozzie, who tells them what happened, but Winter is like, nah, he’s bullshittin’, drawing pictures of killer clowns and shit, it was fine, and the cops say that it was a murder-suicide. Then Ally has a nightmare and it’s not Ivy in bed with her, but you guessed it, a clown. Also, did anyone notice how their bathroom beside the bedroom had a bathtub like, smack in the middle of it, in front of the fireplace? Am I crazy or was that really weird?

I can already see me getting angry a lot this season and at some point, I might pull the plug for mental-health’s sake, so I warn you now. This whole election just reminded me of how stupid people are. I’m trying to have faith, but it’s damn hard. I’ll get more into that over the next few episodes, but for now, I wanna know if the clowns are real or not, are Winter and Kai working with Ivy, and more Twisty, because that dude is a beast. Enjoy it for now, though, because we all know AHS is good-to-great for 85% of the season and then goes off the rails.