Category Archives: Big Brother Canada

Big Brother Canada S03E08 – The Delaware How Do You Do

Holly: So what has happened since Wednesday that’s worthy of mentioning?

Neil: Well, I think Britnee’s backdoor plan was pretty good

Neil: That shit rarely works out from beginning to end

Neil: Well actually, let’s see if he goes home

Holly: They got a little sloppy when they spent the whole night before the veto ceremony hanging out with Johnny though. If they wanted Graig to think they were putting up Johnny, they shouldn’t have been so buddy-buddy with him

Holly: Shout out to Naeha and her resting bitch face

Holly: I’ll miss that

Neil: Willow looks like she could take over the crown

Holly: Willow is the absolute worst

Holly: I would rather watch Johnny flail around all day then listen to her talk

Neil: OH

Neil: Ginga Ninja

Neil: MUFUCKA GOTTA GO

Neil: I forgot about that name, that shit is terrible

Holly: Anyone who willingly calls themselves ginger ninja doesn’t deserve to be on tv

Holly: And who talks in hashtags

Holly: Hashtag get the hell outta here

Neil: Uh oh

Neil: Willow gon’ be on fire if she finds out about Zach and blondie

Holly: Oh, Zach and Ashleigh did stuff in the have not room, I’m currently looking for the video

Holly: could be hand stuff, could be butt stiff

Neil: Butt Stiff works

Holly: Hahaha

Neil: Kevin gotta stay on the low for a minute

Holly: you think Graig is gonna go ham on the house?

Neil: He’s been a little too in the spotlight for the first couple weeks

Neil: It seems like something he would do

Holly: Yeah kevin has, he needs to go take a nap or something

Holly: So wait, did Graig actually say that stuff about Britnee or did Johnny make that stuff up

Neil: I’m pretty sure he did

Neil: But don’t quote me, again, it seems like something he would do

Holly: haha … hes right though. Bobby and Graig are dumb and dumber

Neil: But Bobby is smart enough to sit back and chill

Holly: Bobby looks like a muppet

Neil: Here is the thing: how often does the target NOT go home?

Holly: Pretty often actually

Neil: Really?

Holly: Well sometimes i guess

Neil: And is Zach tryna pimp her out?

Holly: I don’t even know anymore

Holly: Oooooohhhhh Bobby likes Ashleigh and Willow likes Zach, LOVE SQUARE

Neil: Okay, hand and mouf stuff is on the table

Neil: Butt stuff next week

Holly: They definitely have done hand stuff

Holly: Wayament

Holly: What is kevin doing

Neil: Bobby was like, what in the eternal fuck are you doing?

Holly: Kevin is a nancy boy

Holly: I had such high hopes for him

Holly: I always get it wrong

Neil: Sarah has been so impressive

Holly: Yep, she’s the best player in the house so far

Holly: See, Bruno is makin’ a good point. If they keep Graig, Graig will be going after the other side and the other side will keep going after Graig

Neil: Oh definitely

Holly: I’m sorry, but Zach looks vacant

Holly: Like he’s looking at you, but hes off in fantasy la la land, no idea what anyone is saying

Neil: He’s done with whatever the group decides and whatever will put him in the best position for a handie

Neil: SIDE NOTE:

Neil: This Unfriended movie looks like some Grade-A emu shit

Holly: I can’t even with that movie

Neil: We should do a live watch of that, I guarantee we wouldn’t get through 20 minutes

Holly: The first 20 minutes will probably be a bunch of teens havin’ sex and showing their tittays

Holly: Before the killing and fuckery

Neil: I’m here for that

Holly: SHOUTOUT TO KFC

Neil: THEY DID STUFF

Holly: Oh here we go, Zach worried about the hand/mouf stuff he did with Ashleigh

Holly: Whatever they did was so raunchy they wouldn’t show it on TV, good for them

Neil: Hey dogg, good on ya

Neil: Hahaha how much time do you have on your hands to figure that out?

Holly: A whole bunch… a whole bunch

Holly: We have to remember that even if Graig gets evicted this week he could still come back sadly

Neil: I’d bet on S Club 7 first

Holly: Hahahaha, I had to think about that for a minute

Holly: Good one

Holly: Oh.My.God. Graig, shut the hell up

Neil: Has he even done anything in this episode or just rely on Bruno to try and get him out of trouble

Holly: He just talks and talks

Neil: Well, I think he’s gon’ go, which will make for one annoying sequester room

Holly: who do you think will come back in?

Holly: I really hope it’s Naeha

Neil: Depends on the comp

Neil: Physical? S Club

Holly: are we voting them back in though?

Neil: Mental? Botox

Neil: Um, I’m not sure, I thought it was a comp

Holly: For once in our lives, I think you are paying more attention to something than i am

Holly: It’s all topsy turvy up here

Neil: I focus on the important things in life

Holly: Like tittays and big brother

Neil: WHAT ELSE IS THERE

Holly: What’s worse? Sindy with an S or Ginga Ninja

Neil: Ginga Ninja

Holly: Because at this point i would prefer hearing Sindy with an S

Neil: Way too close to the N-word

Holly: I didn’t even think of that

Holly: But you’re right

Holly: And I bet he doesn’t say ninja around his friends

Neil: Hahahaha

Neil: So, what was the point of that comp?

Holly: Um, commercial time for oxi clean

Neil: SHOUTOUT TO OXI CLEAN

Holly: I don’t know a single person who uses Oxiclean

Holly: but i do know these KFC commercials are making me hungry for some popcorn chicken

Neil: BRUH

Holly: I would do hand stuff with the Ginga Ninja for some popcorn chicken

Neil: I would murderize a bucket right now

Neil: Jesus

Holly: OK, maybe not

Neil: YOU AIN’T GOTTA LIE

Holly: Maybe just mouf stuff

Neil: Stick with the hand, you can get AIDS of the mouf

Holly: There is not a good looking guy in that house. How did they manage that?

Neil: Is he just giving shoutouts?

Holly: Shoutouts

Holly: BIG STEVE

Neil: He hit that Namaste at the end and in his head, you know he did a fist pump

Neil: Okay, mission for next week: find out what the hell Newport is

Neil: OH HEY PILAR

Holly: I think Jordan is in an alliance with himself called Newport

Neil: What the hell did Kevin just do?

Holly: i don’t even know

Holly: If I was on the show I would have a one person alliance, and I would call it the Delaware How Do You Do, and every time I voted I would put my finger up my nose and say “how do you do?!”

Neil: Hahahahahahaha

Neil: The Delaware How Do You Do

Neil: Thanks for that

Holly: it was either that or the Kennebunkport Surprise, but that ain’t TV friendly

Neil: You had to Google Kennebunkport, didn’t you?

Holly: SHUT UP THATS WHAT

Neil: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Holly: I can neither confirm nor deny that

Neil: Damn she is small

Holly: These hand gestures in the diary room have got to stop

Holly: Soon people will be going in there doing whole dance routines

Neil: Yup

Neil: With microphone stands and shit

Neil: These mufuckas love them some shoutouts

Holly: Willow rehearsed what she was gonna say in the diary room all day and still fucked it up

Neil: Hahahaha she was so pressed to get that out

Holly: She sucks

Holly: And the shoutouts have to fucking stop

Neil: Damn, he ain’t shake no hands or anything

Neil: GOOD

Neil: BE MAD

Holly: LOL at Graig running up the stairs away from everyone like a child

Holly: Thalia’s trying to tell me that Graig looks like someone I used to have relations with

Neil: I’m texting guesses to you

Holly: If that’s true, I need to re-evaluate my life choices

Holly: If your first guess is right, Thalia is gonna lose it

Neil: No, you’re not a bully, you’re just an asshole

Holly: There’s a difference between a bully and a dumb dumb loud mouth

Holly: Oh i can’t wait for Peter to meet Graig on the side show. I may have to watch that

Neil: Peter could tear him apart

Holly: First guess was right yo, Thalia is partying on that

Holly: And y’all can go fuck yourselves

Neil: I just got up on the floor from laughter

Neil: And that is why we’re your best friends

Neil: SIR

Neil: A monkey movie narrated by Tina Fey? You just might as well may them a cheque now

Holly: Whoa, I missed that commercial

Holly: There’s a monkey movie starring Tina Fey?? Hot damn

Neil: Monkey Kingdom, go check the Youtubes

Neil: Goddamn, Oxi Clean is goin’ HARD

Holly: Oh snap its real monkeys???

Neil: Yezzir

Holly: Movie of 2015. OSCAR WORTHY

Holly: so what are these guys doing for HOH?

Holly: Those are some short ass shorts the guys have on

Neil: There ya go

Neil: You might see some junk

Holly: Why does Kevin run like something is up his butt?

Neil: Shoutout to Johnny?

Holly: Zing!

Neil: And on that note….

Big Brother Canada S03E05 – The Dooks Of Hazzard

Holly: So let’s do a quick recap of what happened earlier this week

Neil: The best part of Monday’s episode is when the girls were forming their all-girls alliance and Kevin walked out of the bathroom

Neil: Hemp girl’s eyes were big as shit

Holly: Haha idiots

Holly: So Bobby won HOH, Britnee is terrible at competitions, Kevin made out with Johnny, Kevin made out with Pilar, Kevin had a boner one morning that was moving around and got caught on the feeds, Ashleigh made out with Zach, Willow got pissed, and Graig made an alliance deal while taking a shit with no pants on

Neil: Ol’ spin the bottle ass mufuckas

Neil: Wait

Neil: Like, his pants were all the way off?

Holly: His legs were bare

Holly: Unless he had them right down around his ankles, which is just as bad really

Neil: I suppose you need maximum movement if the legs get to shakin’

Neil: So who do we think is going out?

Holly: I wish there was a picture

Neil: Sindy with a “get yo ass up outta here”?

Holly: Sindy as far as I’ve read on the feeds, but I really don’t know who is in alliances with who

Neil: That would be the smart play, but we’ve watched this far too long to think people will do the smart thing

Holly: I cant believe this idiots didn’t think to check the bathroom before they started talking about shit

Neil: And if you were smart, you woulda checked the bathroom before you tried to make this alliance

Holly: Lol at Britnee “There’s just some qualities about Sindy Im not fond of”

Holly: That’s polite speak for, “this bitch is nuts”

Neil: That hat hemp girl is wearing is hot fiya

Holly: I’m starting to like Sarah, she’s good at playing it cool

Neil: Absolutely

Neil: Way better than I expected

Holly: Looking like Kreyshawn or some shit

Neil: Hahahahaha

Neil: If she calls Britnee “my nigga”, we got issues tho

Holly: Give her a few more weeks and I can see it slipping out

Holly: You know shes the type of girl that says it to her white friends

Neil: Who the fuck is this Naeha person, is that Botox face?

Holly: She got some good resting bitch face

Holly: Graig should start going around calling himself Graig with an A

Neil: Graig with a mullet

Neil: I love how she said that there was more attention on the girls than there should be

Neil: Y’all brought this on yourselves

Holly: Side question

Holly: Who the eff watches Bones?

Neil: BRUH

Neil: That shit is on season 19

Neil: Same mufuckas that watch NCIS

Holly: The only people who watch Bones is people waiting in doctors’ offices and people who only get one channel

Neil: And that one channel plays NCIS and what’s the other joint, Criminal……

Neil: Criminal Intent?

Holly: Criminal Minds

Neil: Criminal minds of intent

Neil: I keep forgetting about my man Godfrey

Holly: Oh look, Godfrey getting some air time

Holly: hahahahaha

Neil: Fuck, only thing I’ve seen him do is say he was stupid and try to hit on this one

Neil: BIG BROTHER CISM

Holly: GRAIG NEEDS TO FIX THAT HAIR

Holly: Talking about all the girls he gets, pfffft he ain’t getting girls with that hair

Neil: That propa shit can run through a field of dicks

Holly: Newport alliance?

Neil: Like, the cigarettes?

Holly: I don’t know, alliance names are so dumb

Holly: What would our alliance name be

Neil: The Dooks Of Hazzard

Holly: HAHAHAH YES

Neil: Oh fuck, I knew this would happen

Holly: Oooooooh shit Johnny is gonna go psycho

Holly: Is he really crying because the straight guy like a girl?

Holly: Come on now Johnny, get your head in the game

Neil: He sure is, my friend, he sure is

Holly: WAIT

Holly: Are Jordan and Sindy kissing?

Holly: Why is this happening?

Neil: This is not gon’ work at all

Holly: Have they even talked before this moment

Neil: These mufuckas gon’ have an orgy within the next week

Neil: I’ve never seen it

Neil: Jesus, how are they breaking this much stuff?

Holly: Isn’t this an April Fools joke

Holly: Everyone is blaming Godfrey

Neil: Yeah, but you couldn’t make up stuff like flooding the HOH room and breaking the door, could you?

Neil: Mmmmmmhmmmmmm

Neil: We ALWAYS get the blame

Neil: Crime, turnin’ white women, EVERYTHING

Holly: Graig needs to go

Holly: He’s obnoxious

Holly: WHOA

Neil: GO GET EM GODFREY

Holly: Godfrey going OFF on Sindy

Neil: Well that was just great, tame, but great

Holly: Wait, so they really flooded the HOH room?

Holly: When did that happen?

Neil: That’s what I was sayin’

Neil: They couldn’t make that up

Holly: Any predictions for the votes?

Neil: Sindy by 7948237923749859 to 0

Neil: Bruno givin’ out shoutouts like a rap CD

Neil: I WANNA SAY WHAT’S UP TO BIG STEVE AND LIL TIM

Holly: Bruno is that old dude that is just so excited to be a part of something with the young dudes

Holly: Don’t forget Ray Ray!

Neil: Hahaha

Neil: The fuck is this Newport shit, b

Neil: Hey there, goldenpants

Holly: Sadly, I vote to evict – no you don’t, you are not sad. Stop pretending to be sad, no one is sad

Neil: I’d make a dance routine

Neil: Gimme an S and all that shit

Neil: With a party hat

Holly: Draw an air S with your peen

Neil: I didn’t wanna bring it out, but if you say so…..

Neil: Oh, quick side note, those coast people you like have a new song out or something

Neil: Left coast?

Holly: Best Coast?

Neil: Best Coast, goddamn, I’m a tank machine tonight

Holly: Oh yeah I heard it, its very psych rock, I like it. and I will see them in Atlanta!

Neil: Okay, he gotta go

Holly: OK, Graig with these glasses, and hair, and fake tales of hookups, he has to go

Holly: I’ve had it up to here with him

Neil: Yup

Holly: Ol’ Sackville girl ain’t sad to evict anyone

Neil: NOAP

Neil: Is the whole house in this Chopshop?

Holly: Yeah, for about 3 more days

Holly: What was the name of that alliance from BB US that had half the house and then imploded

Holly: Bomb squad

Holly: I answered my own question like a chump

Neil: Hahahaha

Neil: Well, that went as expected

Neil: Sindy with a STRUT YO ASS UP OUTTA HERE

Holly: And we have found what the S actually stands for, everyone

Neil: She rubbed everyone the wrong way from the second she rolled up in there

Holly: What should you have done differently Sindy? Not mentioned that my name started with an S 6201 times

Neil: Sindy with a Sequester

Neil: Oh shit, her and Risha in there? I’d watch a feed for that

Holly: Oh snap, it’s Marsha the Moose

Neil: She was tryna fuck with ya man Peter

Holly: He ain’t my man no more

Holly: He also banged rachelle

Neil: Stringy McGee

Neil: Why does Naeha look like she got her wisdom teeth out?

Holly: She all chipmunky?

Holly: I don’t know who I want to win

Neil: She looks like she is on a mission tho

Holly: Something must have happened that we haven’t seen between her and Godfrey

Holly: They just keep going at each other

Neil: I would think it was the whole Sindy thing

Neil: Because they were quasi-homegirls

Neil: If she gets HOH, Graig is going home

Neil: Or Godfrey

Holly: At least some guy

Neil: Awww shit

Holly: Britnee might go hard with an HOH if she gets it

Neil: Naeha is about to be mad as shit

Holly: I was for sure thinking Kevin was gonna throw it

Neil: OH SHIT INSTANT EVICTION

Holly: Instant eviction already? The shows been on for a week

Neil: BBC ain’t fuckin’ around with these people

Holly: So Kevin is HOH, and it’s an instant eviction, he could end up going home right after

Neil: He could, but I think he can get around it

Neil: Next Wednesday?

Holly: Yes sir!

Big Brother Canada S03E02 (March 26) – Risha Ain’t Seen A Bra Since The Early 70s

Holly: Heeeeeeeeeey girl

Holly: Grab yoself a glass of wine and come dish with me about Big Brother

Neil: Got a beer and ready to goooooooooo

Holly: Beer and Bulwark

Holly: Eviction show already. These people have known each other for 20 minutes

Neil: Cindy gon’ be tryna figure out who voted for her

Holly: So is Risha

Neil: She looks like she starts shit

Holly: I bet we’re gonna see her being cutthroat this episode

Neil: Fuck yo S

Holly: I hope the S also stands for slutty

Neil: Stupid is in the lead

Neil: But she won for fuck sakes

Holly: I think Pilar is going to go home for some reason

Holly: She might be too nice and sweet for the house

Neil: I agree

Neil: Hahaha we totally didn’t vote

Holly: HAHAHAHA we are terrible viewers

Holly: Sorry, Big Brother / Global

Holly: HOW MANY S WORDS ARE YOU GONNA USE GIRL

Neil: This mufucka, man

Holly: Risha shouldn’t have run out of the room

Holly: That’s Big Brother suicide

Neil: I think she’ll be alright

Holly: Flirting with Kevin already

Holly: Cougar in the house y’all!

Neil: She’s layin’ it on thick

Holly: Kevin knows too, he’s a poker player, he sees through that shit

Holly: Go after Zach, he looks like a dumb dumb

Neil: That slop looks like baby dook

Holly: I bet it smells like baby dook too

Holly: Just don’t eat!

Holly: Brittnee starfishes. of course

Neil: I can see that, I like it

Holly: Johnny needs to settle his hormones

Holly: TITTAY

Holly: That was a full-on side tittay

Neil: Risha ain’t seen a bra since the early 70s

Holly: Sindy with and S, the S stands for Shenanigans

Holly: Willow looks like an Amish man

Neil: Which one is she?

Holly: So couldn’t these idiots just lay down and have the ball on top of them, so it doesn’t touh the ground? Wouldn’t that be easy

Holly: the one that looks like a man, I don’t know

Neil: Hahaha

Neil: Oh yeah, she’s gone

Holly: Why are these people complaining about tasks? have they not seen Big Brother?

Neil: Someone’s gon’ let it fall and that person will be the target

Neil: And yeah, mufuckas are whiny

Holly: I read that as someone’s gonna let a fart

Holly: Which would also make them a target

Neil: Very true

Neil: Hahahaha at that Participaction commercial

Holly: Oh shit, I missed it talking to the peanut gallery

Neil: Don’t visit our website

Holly: (Shoutout to Thalia for being our peanut gallery)

Neil: Basically told kids they’re fatties

Neil: I got Pat over here in mine haha

Holly: Special guests!

Holly: I had a feeling they would use Kevin to do a special task

Neil: Woooooooooooooooooooooooow

Holly: But if he makes the balloon break, doesn’t he not get his stuff back?

Neil: That is a big risk

Holly: I don’t know, I would rather my stuff than a thousand bucks

Neil: It ain’t worth it

Neil: This seems like a terrible idea

Holly: He can’t just show up, touch it and then pop it

Holly: Actually that was pretty decent, holding the towel

Neil: No one noticed?

Neil: WORD?

Holly: These people might be dumb

Neil: Pat: The geek and the QB

Holly: Hahaha

Holly: That alliance will last one week

Neil: Ol’ buddy cop movie ass mufuckas

Holly: TITTAYS

Neil: SET DEM THANGS OUT

Holly: Risha is coming on too strong

Neil: Fuck avoiding looking, if they’re out there, dammit, they’re out there

Neil: Mmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmm

Holly: Oh my god the stoner girl might be smart

Neil: Yeah, see, this will come back to bite him

Holly: I thought Kevin was good at numbers, why isn’t he trying this?

Neil: That is what I was thinking

Neil: Hope that grand was worth it, bruh

Neil: You’re on side show duty

Holly: Oh lawd

Holly: I don’t know if I can watch Gary and Peter stroke each others egos for an hour straight

Holly: I’m over Peter, my crush is gone

Holly: Sorry, Peter

Holly: I can’t wait to see the houseguests get drunk together for the first time

Neil: I was wondering when the booze would come out

Holly: Hopefully when they get their stuff

Holly: Why are they taking their time with this number combo?

Holly: Just bang em out

Neil: Yep, and why is this all on him?

Holly: Crybaby crying over a buncha numbers on day 2. Jeez louise

Neil: Hahahahaha the QB walks up and does it randomly

Neil: GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

Holly: LOL they have to put their own furniture back???

Neil: Big Brother is not fuckin’ with these people

Holly: Ask me to do this? NOAAAAP

Neil: Duvets are the devil’s work

Neil: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZE

Holly: No joke, I threw mine out the minute I start living by myself. Trying to put a duvet cover on by yourself is not what’s hot in the streets

Holly: Risha is digging her grave

Holly: join the group, its friggin day

Neil: I was gon’ say, isn’t she supposed to be bonding?

Neil: What has she done again?

Holly: I’m the first to say nah to yoga, but I’d be out there doing it for show

Holly: And now Risha talking about yelling at Pilar? WHA?

Neil: Goddamn she is crazy as shit haha

Holly: Thalia just said Risha looks like a broke down Brigitte Neilsen

Neil: Hahahahaha

Neil: Unless we’re missin’ something, all Risha has done is set dem thangs out and fail at a comp

Holly: Ahe has been highly disappointing

Neil: Yeah, I’m not impressed

Neil: Mad at Pilar for what? She’s just chillin’

Neil: Being nice is a good strategy

Neil: Although we’re the ones voting

Holly: Being quiet is a good strategy too

Holly: That’s true, but they don’t know that

Holly: Goddammit I eat so many twistos during bb season

Holly: I ate a whole bag of them today at work. The. Whole. Bag

Neil: We need a sponsor dammit

Neil: Well this is interesting

Holly: Our sponsor should be Brothers Pepperoni

Neil: Hahahaha how could they NOT see that?

Holly: What are these two people doing? They are massively stunned

Neil: Good grief

Holly: Well that was a useless vault

Holly: Go in, unlock safe, leave. OK cool

Holly: HAHA Look at Risha’s face, realizing she shouldn’t have acted like a twat for the past two days

Neil: Pat just brought up a good point: your self-esteem should be shot if Canada votes you out

Holly: yep

Holly: That’s why Big Brother UK is so entertaining, because people think the public loves them and then BAM, voted out. They look shattered

Holly: And you just laugh and laugh

Neil: That’s pretty damn good

Neil: But this is just for this week, I bet

Holly: Yeah i think so

Neil: I honestly have no idea who is going home

Holly: I really don’t know what’s going to happen

Holly: Hahaha

Neil: BAM

Neil: Risha GONE

Holly: Well, maybe she shoulda kept her tittays under wraps

Neil: I might create a goodbye montage to them

Holly: Oh my word, she is bland

Neil: Yeah, I don’t care how close it was

Neil: Here I am

Neil: Ass the fuck out

Holly: Is she really trying to tell us she tried to bond with people?

Neil: We missed all of the bonding

Neil: Awwwwwwwwwwwww yeah

Neil: Bring ’em back!

Holly: #bringthetittaysback

Neil: Hahahahahahahahaha

Neil: And we have the title

Neil: So will we find this out tonight?

Holly: Uuhhh…I wasn’t listening to her there at the end

Neil: That’s fair

Holly: I need to learn how to focus

Neil: Arisa will tell us

Holly: Give it to us Arisa

Holly: Shoutout to KFC!

Neil: I thought they said KFC

Neil: I now want KFC

Holly: Me too

Holly: They should have a HOH challenge where you have to eat as many popcorn chicken as you can

Neil: My God these people don’t listen

Holly: They all look completely stunned

Holly: Um, those positions don’t look flattering

Neil: Not at all

Neil: Dan BACK!

Neil: That mufucka is on everything Big Brother related

Holly: Dan is living off this BB money, sheesh

Neil: Good on him, smart

Holly: Alright, another one in the books, convene next Wednesday

Neil: Yezzir

Big Brother Canada S03E01 (March 24) – Steampunk Is The New Chillwave

Holly: Alright here we go people!!!

Neil: Look at them all high-tech with the intro!

Holly: It’s like James Bond up in here

Neil: Got that Global money, bruh!

Holly: It’s looks like the inside of the Tardis!

Neil: Oh hai, Arisa

Holly: Her hair isn’t as big as it used to be

Holly: I feel like this is a time travel thing

Neil: Ooooooooooooh

Holly: Steampunk is all the rage lately

Neil: Steampunk is the new chillwave

Holly: Look at this vault, hiding all the secrets

Neil: Awwwwwwwwwwww yeah, vaults and pop-up remotes and shit

Holly: Lasers everywhere!

Holly: Pew pew pew

Holly: This Zach guy looks like Peter on steroids

Neil: OF COURSE SHE IS FROM CALGARY

Holly: This year’s Heather

Neil: Don’t you have to be sexy to play the sexy role?

Holly: And here comes the Peter look alike

Holly: Acting like a fool

Neil: I already don’t like this guy

Holly: Which one

Neil: The nerd

Holly: How is it fair that this girl lives in New York???

Holly: Shenanigans

Neil: HEY BOO

Neil: I wanna take her to Subway and shit

Holly: Which one?

Holly: You gotta say who you are talmabout

Neil: Um, the plus size model? I missed her name

Holly: Britnee

Neil: Was lookin’ at dem curves

Neil: Oh wait, the spelling sucks

Neil: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Holly: Throw a k in there

Holly: Britknee

Holly: I already do not like that weed girl. She is airy as all get out

Neil: Yup

Neil: I give her two weeks

Neil: And that’s not seeing the other people

Neil: Do they not have bags and stuff?

Holly: They have nothing

Holly: So Canadian. “What the heck??” So polite

Neil: SACKVEGAS HOLLA

Holly: Of course her name is Willow

Neil: Ginger Ninja?

Neil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

Holly: The peanut gallery agrees with you

Holly: (Shoutout to Candice and Andrew being our peanut gallery)

Holly: Did that guy just have a creepy photo montage of old houseguests on his wall?

Neil: He sure did

Holly: That’s some serial killer shit

Neil: Who coaches baseball in khakis?

Holly: GINGER NINJA DOES

Neil: I’m getting a pet and naming it Have-Not

Neil: You asshole

Holly: Wait, I missed that… is his dogs name actually have not?

Neil: Hahahaha, nah, Veto

Holly: Well that’s just as dumb

Neil: Can I call Phil HOH?

Neil: Since he really does run your household

Holly: You sure can

Holly: OH SHIT

Holly: I just noticed the back of ginger ninjas hair

Holly: It’s a hipster mullet

Neil: WHAT IN THE FUCK

Neil: Okay, so out of the first, my money is on the nerd that I don’t like

Holly: I’m going with Ashleigh because she reminds me of Heather from last year and she was our underdog

Neil: True, but we talked all kinds of shit about Heather for the first few weeks

Holly: I like Kevin

Neil: He looks like Ian from Shameless

Holly: Poker player, he gonna be good at lying

Holly: TITTAYS

Neil: GODDAMN SHE SET DEM THANGS OUT

Holly: I used to have such a thing for skaters

Neil: I can see that

Neil: DARKSIDE WHAT

Holly: She’s a little much

Holly: Although i would like to see the Dartmouth girl get into it with the Sackville girl

Neil: Yeah I’m not a fan of Mrs. Dressup

Holly: We’re gonna have a milf in the house tho, so there’s that

Holly: She ain’t even have a bra on

Neil: She’s tall as shit too

Neil: Seven feet in heels and shit

Neil: She gon’ let dem thangs hang, go get it, girl

Neil: Oh God, you know she is always on some “Sindy with an S” shit

Holly: I’m Sindy with an S… the S stands for Shut the fuck up

Neil: Hahahaha

Neil: Um, where is the dark part of that?

Neil: Zach is as white as snow, see, man…..shit

Holly: They’re all pretty white

Neil: I don’t know where Ashleigh got tall, dark and handsome, but hey, being colorblind is cool too

Holly: So whats up with % of them being from Toronto

Holly: CISM

Neil: There are like, three people from Calgary too

Neil: And a couple from Scotia

Neil: No one from BC, I don’t think

Holly: Yeah there’s a couple

Neil: Oh is there?

Neil: Doctor homegirl doesn’t look impressed at all

Holly: Oh snap they are doing the Big Brother UK voting!! LOVE IT

Neil: Jesus, I wouldn’t even remember names

Neil: Hahahaha atta girl, Ashleigh

Holly: Sindy better go

Neil: I’m spelling it Cindy by the way

Neil: Because fuck that

Holly: Oooh this is so good

Neil: Damn, ain’t no one remember ol’ girl’s name

Holly: Naeha voting for the minorities

Neil: I know I don’t

Holly: Ol stoner girl Sarah is gonna go batshit crazy without weed if she stays

Neil: Hahaha yup

Holly: Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah

Neil: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Neil: Get Cindy outta here b

Holly: Risha looks like Canada’s version of Charlize Theron

Neil: She better not go home

Neil: Because I’m shallow

Holly: And she looks evil too, i like it

Neil: And you know she knows who put her up somehow

Neil: and if she gets through this?

Neil: BRUH

Neil: She looks petty as shit

Holly: Milf is DETERMINED

Holly: look at that face

Neil: You’re up because you’re Sindy with a fucking S

Holly: Alright, whats up with making the girls wear shit that their asses are hanging out of?

Neil: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Holly: Spending more time picking their wedgies than playing the game

Holly: Zach is a dumb dumb

Neil: The next Emmett

Neil: Oh for fuck sakes, Cindy

Holly: Of course cindy is good with numbers

Holly: Oh god Kevin get those numbers!!

Holly: Fucking Cindy

Neil: MOTHERFUCKER

Neil: Oh man, I’m about to be mad all friggin’ season

Holly: Andrew just brought up a good point

Holly: Maybe Sindy with an S has an alter ego called Cindy with a C

Neil: That’s her not-annoying alter ego?

Holly: Or her more annoying alter ego

Neil: Yeah, I’m going with that

Neil: A lot of people voted for Darkside girl

Holly: So weird

Neil: Dartmouth: Hated across Canada even by people that don’t know about it

Holly: Risha is PISSED

Neil: I like both of these girls

Holly: Me too, dude was right, Cindy should have put up a physical threat

Neil: Oh for fuck sakes

Holly: I love this! UK voting!

Holly: So now its all about looking good to the audience, not the houseguests

Neil: We need to figure out who we are voting for

Neil: I’ll prepare a PowerPoint presentation on why Risha needs to stay

Holly: You do that! I expect at least three pie charts about her cleavage by Wednesday

Neil: Tittays: They’re Good And Good For You

Holly: And there’s the bang I was hoping we would end on

Neil: Aight, we’ll do this again Wednesday, bitches, let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Holly: WAKE UP CANADA

Big Brother Canada – If She Wins The Game, I’m Moving To Mexico (May 7th)

[8:50:57 PM] Holly: We never used that “RIP Rachelle” pic I made

[8:51:51 PM] Neil: I’ll put it in this one, since it’ll be our last one of the season

[8:53:12 PM] Neil: Maybe put “It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” under it or some shit

Rachelle RIP

[8:55:47 PM] Holly: Before we get started

[8:55:51 PM] Holly: Here is why BB UK is awesome

[8:55:53 PM] Holly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04jyPcXNBzI

[8:56:45 PM] Neil: OH WORD?

[8:56:57 PM] Holly: Yeah dude

[8:56:58 PM] Holly: Yeah

[8:57:11 PM] Neil: This is friggin’ nuts

[8:57:28 PM] Neil: This is quasi blue nuit shit

[8:58:56 PM] Neil: So what is going on?

[8:59:05 PM] Neil: I feel like I haven’t watched in like, two weeks

[8:59:36 PM] Holly: Me too actually, I think because Sunday’s episode was so boring it feels like it’s been a while

[8:59:50 PM] Neil: I didn’t even bother to watch it

[9:00:17 PM] Neil: I meant to, but with all the other shows I’ve been watching, shit got lost in the shuffle

[9:00:24 PM] Holly: It was just a bunch of montage clips from the season and a houseguest dinner where Sabrina cried a bunch

[9:00:27 PM] Neil: Eviction episode!

[9:00:40 PM] Neil: So I would have been hammered then

[9:00:51 PM] Holly: Yeah definitely

[9:01:28 PM] Holly: I’m just crossing my fingers that Sabrina doesn’t win part 1 or 2 of the final HOH comp

[9:01:45 PM] Neil: Haha, Sabrina was partyin’ when she won

[9:01:46 PM] Holly: Who do you think will go home?

[9:02:01 PM] Neil: Jon

[9:02:10 PM] Neil: I think Heather wins POV

[9:02:34 PM] Holly: Haha Sabrina thinks she’s making an impact this week. What she doesn’t realize is that one of the 3 of them was going home whether she won hoh or not

[9:02:54 PM] Holly: its always been the plan to take her to final 3, amongst all the final two deals in the house

[9:03:18 PM] Holly: I think the opposite you think. Let’s keep it interesting

[9:03:34 PM] Neil: That is fair

[9:03:48 PM] Holly: Um

[9:03:58 PM] Holly: Why is Neda dressed like she’s going square dancing?

[9:04:02 PM] Neil: Why is Neda dressed like Little Bo Peep?

[9:04:08 PM] Neil: Haha

[9:04:09 PM] Holly: Haha

[9:04:18 PM] Holly: Oh she has no clothes!

[9:04:32 PM] Holly: So she’s basically wearing costumes from the veto comps

[9:04:33 PM] Neil: Oh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

[9:05:04 PM] Holly: It’s a good think shes cute and can pull that off.

[9:05:12 PM] Holly: Imagine if Jon had to do that? haha

[9:05:13 PM] Neil: Absolutely

[9:05:28 PM] Neil: No one needs to see that

[9:05:41 PM] Neil: Y’all shoulda got her out

[9:05:52 PM] Neil: So many chances

[9:06:04 PM] Holly: Ya know what?

[9:06:11 PM] Holly: I think Neda might go tonight

[9:07:05 PM] Holly: I love how every year, everyone has a final two deal with everyone else

[9:07:13 PM] Holly: So redundant

[9:07:18 PM] Neil: Yep

[9:07:27 PM] Neil: Everyone lying

[9:07:43 PM] Neil: So does everyone play in this?

[9:07:44 PM] Holly: Jon just summed it up

[9:07:53 PM] Holly: The veto? Yep

[9:08:10 PM] Neil: I love Heather

[9:08:33 PM] Neil: Oh we’re on some girl power shit now?

[9:08:48 PM] Neil: Mufuckas gon’ start singing “Wannabe” and shit?

[9:08:57 PM] Holly: Yeah Neda! Screw that all-girls alliance

[9:09:04 PM] Holly: Girls are a pain in the ass

[9:09:37 PM] Neil: Sabrina might get to second and win something

[9:09:41 PM] Neil: Actually

[9:09:47 PM] Neil: Jury votes

[9:09:58 PM] Neil: To be honest, she only has one

[9:10:05 PM] Holly: I reeeeally dont think anyone is stupid enough to take her to final two

[9:10:27 PM] Holly: Rachelle, Arlie and Allison will vote for Sabrina

[9:10:40 PM] Holly: And I don’t feel safe that Canada wouldn’t vote for her

[9:11:00 PM] Holly: If she wins the game, I’m moving to Mexico

[9:11:12 PM] Neil: Haha

[9:11:19 PM] Neil: Burning the flag and shit

[9:13:06 PM] Neil: Fuck, I want Jon to win now

[9:13:20 PM] Neil: I want him or Heather to win it all

[9:14:02 PM] Holly: I think it would be great if Heather won it. She really didn’t have anyone to help her through until recently

[9:14:20 PM] Neil: NOAP

[9:14:27 PM] Neil: Fought through that shit like a G

[9:14:52 PM] Holly: MARSHA

[9:15:24 PM] Neil: She hasn’t been around a lot this year, which I’m good with

[9:15:52 PM] Holly: She’s only funny if she’s dealing with a funny houseguest

[9:16:08 PM] Neil: Why is she dressed like a drag queen?

[9:16:23 PM] Holly: Who, Marsha?

[9:16:29 PM] Neil: And why is Heather a big squirrel?

[9:16:31 PM] Holly: They are all dressed in weird costumes

[9:16:38 PM] Holly: The hell is going on?

[9:16:49 PM] Neil: Maybe solidarity for Neda?

[9:17:07 PM] Neil: If there is one thing about this group, they do seem like they genuinely like each other

[9:17:41 PM] Holly: Hahaha Sabrina never gets anything right

[9:17:49 PM] Holly: How she won that HOH comp is beyond me

[9:18:19 PM] Holly: No showering for the rest of the season?? EASY

[9:18:43 PM] Neil: Not a problem

[9:19:04 PM] Holly: Ok, Heather just made a huge mistake

[9:19:13 PM] Neil: What the shit is she doing?

[9:19:26 PM] Holly: I would wear that squirrel costume every day for 100 grand

[9:19:27 PM] Neil: what she just said doesn’t make sense

[9:19:47 PM] Neil: I would wear it for a month for $14

[9:20:04 PM] Holly: Throw in a slice of cake and I’m in

[9:20:16 PM] Holly: Neda making sperm jokes

[9:20:38 PM] Neil: What is heather doing?

[9:20:40 PM] Neil: I’m so confused

[9:21:04 PM] Neil: Jon is on fire

[9:21:26 PM] Holly: Yeah see, Heather shoulda chose to wear that costume

[9:22:16 PM] Holly: Sabrina won something again?

[9:22:28 PM] Holly: What world are we living in?

[9:22:30 PM] Neil: Steroids

[9:23:18 PM] Neil: Stampede again?

[9:23:24 PM] Neil: The fuck?

[9:23:32 PM] Holly: Lolololol

[9:23:39 PM] Neil: HAHAHHAHHA

[9:23:53 PM] Holly: Jon is gonna have nightmares about stamps for the rest of his life

[9:24:09 PM] Neil: I would never mail a letter again

[9:24:30 PM] Neil: I love how Neda tried to touch him and he was all, if you don’t get the fuck on

[9:25:11 PM] Holly: He means business

[9:27:38 PM] Neil: I want him to win now because they’re ganging up on him

[9:28:49 PM] Holly: I would die if he won it and voted Neda out

[9:30:25 PM] Holly: One more question!

[9:30:40 PM] Holly: It was him, wasn’t it?

[9:31:00 PM] Neil: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[9:31:06 PM] Holly: Oh see, I was wrong, I would suck at those trivia questions

[9:31:11 PM] Neil: Go get ‘em, newf

[9:31:22 PM] Neil: I would be awful at trivia

[9:32:04 PM] Neil: He better not take her

[9:32:15 PM] Holly: Awwwwe, this might very well be the end of Heather

[9:32:37 PM] Neil: It looks like it

[9:32:42 PM] Neil: She’s gon cry

[9:33:06 PM] Neil: I don’t even wanna watch this

[9:33:12 PM] Holly: Ya know. I hate to say this

[9:33:39 PM] Holly: But if Neda wants to win she needs to take Sabrina to final two

[9:33:45 PM] Neil: Yep

[9:34:05 PM] Neil: I honestly don’t think Sabrina has more than one vote

[9:34:18 PM] Neil: Arlie knows the game is the game

[9:34:20 PM] Holly: Allison and Rachelle definitely

[9:34:29 PM] Neil: Okay, I will give you that

[9:34:32 PM] Neil: Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

[9:34:37 PM] Neil: I hate this

[9:34:41 PM] Neil: At least he told her tho

[9:35:03 PM] Holly: Yeah this sucks

[9:35:06 PM] Holly: Poor Heather

[9:35:25 PM] Neil: I just wanna give her a hug

[9:35:36 PM] Neil: And maybe the D

[9:35:38 PM] Holly: You just wanna smush your face in her tittays

[9:36:10 PM] Neil: I’d be at least holding kleenex to her face while doing so

[9:36:12 PM] Neil: But yes

[9:36:30 PM] Neil: That was sad, holy crap

[9:37:12 PM] Holly: Don’t start crying over there

[9:37:14 PM] Holly: Man up!

[9:37:28 PM] Neil: IT’S DUST

[9:37:30 PM] Neil: I mean

[9:37:33 PM] Neil: What?

[9:38:47 PM] Holly: Just wipe your dress on your dress and keep it moving

[9:39:02 PM] Neil: Done

[9:39:34 PM] Neil: Ya know what grinds my gears?

[9:39:43 PM] Neil: Arisa wearing 19-inch heels

[9:39:55 PM] Neil: She already looks like she is tall

[9:40:02 PM] Neil: Help a short brotha out

[9:40:13 PM] Holly: They ain’t comfortable ether

[9:40:21 PM] Neil: They don’t look it

[9:40:40 PM] Neil: With her hair and those heels, she’s what, 6’6″?

[9:40:46 PM] Neil: Damn

[9:41:02 PM] Neil: Why is Neda even talking

[9:41:07 PM] Neil: You’re not going home

[9:42:40 PM] Neil: That speech by jon ain’t need to be that long

[9:42:55 PM] Holly: Well it is only 10:42, they gotta get some filler in there

[9:43:06 PM] Neil: This is true

[9:43:28 PM] Neil: he better have at least shown her the tip last night

[9:43:42 PM] Holly: You know Heather in her head is dreaming of punching Sabrina right in her forehead

[9:43:57 PM] Neil: yep

[9:44:15 PM] Holly: So side note: The veto was played on Saturday

[9:44:22 PM] Holly: Jon hasn’t showered since then

[9:44:49 PM] Neil: That’s pretty ripe

[9:45:33 PM] Holly: Three HOH comps to play…. nervous sweats during the jury house asking questions… out on that stage under those hot lights

[9:45:51 PM] Neil: Wearing tight ass pants

[9:45:53 PM] Neil: Yeah

[9:45:59 PM] Neil: Shit is frowsy, b

[9:47:25 PM] Neil: So will they have an HOH tonight?

[9:49:06 PM] Holly: I think they will start the endurance comp tonight

[9:49:26 PM] Neil: That sounds right

[9:49:30 PM] Holly: Oh this music

[9:49:38 PM] Neil: DAT PIANO THO

[9:49:57 PM] Neil: I wanna take her out for poutine and a slurpie

[9:50:22 PM] Holly: Her boyfriend is cute

[9:50:50 PM] Holly: I’ll divert him while you take her to McDonald’s for a happy meal

[9:51:00 PM] Neil: Done

[9:51:24 PM] Holly: Uh

[9:51:37 PM] Holly: Oh she’s telling them about Canada

[9:51:45 PM] Neil: That’s not really a big twist

[9:52:01 PM] Neil: Hahahha they didn’t know it was tomorrow

[9:52:27 PM] Holly: See, that’s why JoNeda might decide to take Sabrina to final two instead of each other

[9:52:34 PM] Neil: Oh wait, they’re talking to us tonight?

[9:52:35 PM] Holly: Because Canada won’t vote for her

[9:52:40 PM] Neil: Not at all

[9:52:40 PM] Holly: Yeah

[9:52:44 PM] Neil: Well shit

[9:53:00 PM] Neil: And you are right

[9:53:07 PM] Neil: They absolutely will

[9:53:24 PM] Holly: But then Sabrina wins the second-place money, and the other person gets shit

[9:53:37 PM] Neil: Meanwhile, Sabrina gon’ take that 20 Gs to Saint Hubert’s or some shit

[9:53:56 PM] Holly: I don’t know, if it were me, I would rather the person I worked with the whole way possibly beat me, then have some pain in my ass all season get that money

[9:54:37 PM] Neil: So, if you and I were Jon and Neda, you’d take me and not Sabrina

[9:54:43 PM] Neil: Be honest

[9:54:46 PM] Holly: Definitely

[9:54:49 PM] Holly: 100%

[9:55:07 PM] Holly: I would be thinking of it more along who deserves anything, not just that I want to win

[9:55:23 PM] Neil: You just hit me with that slo-mo smush for being selfish

[9:55:45 PM] Holly: And that’s pretty big, because I am as selfish as they come

[9:56:01 PM] Neil: Well

[9:56:02 PM] Neil: Shit

[9:56:13 PM] Neil: I want a redo of this question haha

[9:56:22 PM] Holly: Plus, I’m cuter and would probably get more of that after BB cash

[9:56:41 PM] Neil: There ya go, that’s the Holly i know

[9:56:45 PM] Holly: You know, night club appearances and whatnot

[9:56:58 PM] Holly: OH THIS MUSIC

[9:57:18 PM] Neil: Can I apply to be the music director next season?

[9:57:20 PM] Holly: What is Sabrina doing with her hands?

[9:57:26 PM] Holly: I was JUST about to say the same thing

[9:57:29 PM] Neil: I’d play godzilla music behind her

[9:57:43 PM] Neil: Okay, Neda isn’t getting my vote

[9:57:52 PM] Neil: Voting for Jon, fuck it

[9:58:14 PM] Holly: Neda is awesome

[9:58:26 PM] Holly: What? Neda was funny

[9:58:34 PM] Holly: Why you gotta hate on her b?

[9:58:45 PM] Neil: She just grinds my gears

[9:59:02 PM] Holly: Jon’s speech is grinding my gears

[9:59:14 PM] Holly: Just spouting off his wins

[9:59:35 PM] Neil: The beginning and end of Neda’s speech made me wanna throw my drink off the balcony

[9:59:50 PM] Neil: I don’t even remember what she said in the middle

[9:59:55 PM] Neil: and she got a long face

[10:00:21 PM] Holly: She said Neil is a fart face, and everyone should mail him their poop

[10:01:18 PM] Holly: Alright, my TV just changed to Alan Thicke working out and I’m taking that as a cue to go to bed

[10:01:39 PM] Neil: Copy that, we’ll chat tomorrow about a possible finale plan

[10:01:43 PM] Neil: You suck

[10:02:07 PM] Holly: Last word getting’ mufucka

[10:02:15 PM] Neil: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Big Brother Canada 2 – Don’t Trust Anyone Who Is Always Positive And Happy (May 2nd)

[10:13:35 AM] Neil: Okay, so, Sabrina and Adel on the block, so we really can’t lose

[10:16:21 AM] Holly: Yep, I’m completely fine with either one of them going home, but it’s a hard decision for the houseguests to make

[10:16:44 AM] Neil: I think it’ll be Sabrina, finally

[10:16:49 AM] Neil: Her luck has run out

[10:17:23 AM] Holly: See, I think the opposite. Heather and Neda are voting, and if they were smart they would get rid of Adel so there is no way Jon will take him to the final two

[10:17:53 AM] Holly: Wanna place a bet? If you’re right, you have to wear pants for the rest of today, International No Pants day

[10:18:11 AM] Neil: Well, I have to go to work in the rain

[10:18:19 AM] Neil: So I have to wear pants today, sadly

[10:18:34 AM] Holly: Oh well, that doesn’t work, and Im too lazy to come up with anything else

[10:18:37 AM] Neil: Haha

[10:18:43 AM] Holly: So if you’re ready, let’s hit play on this show

[10:19:00 AM] Neil: I am good to go

[10:19:09 AM] Holly: NOW

[10:19:23 AM] Neil: Fucking advertisement, haha

[10:19:33 AM] Holly: Right off the bat? Not me

[10:19:38 AM] Neil: I have two

[10:20:01 AM] Holly: Slice website gotta get that money

[10:20:10 AM] Neil: On to the show

[10:20:30 AM] Holly: Shoutout to that baby outift

[10:20:38 AM] Neil: That was pretty good

[10:20:49 AM] Neil: I’d pee myself at least four times just to see what it’s like

[10:21:06 AM] Holly: I wonder if it’s a real diaper

[10:21:29 AM] Neil: Neda looks so evil haha

[10:22:14 AM] Holly: I love Neda, especially after watching her meeting with her sister last episode. She was more concerned with how she looked on TV and how cute her sister’s skirt was than actually seeing her sister

[10:22:25 AM] Holly: Priorities, she’s got them

[10:23:47 AM] Neil: Yep, first thing she says

[10:24:02 AM] Holly: Did they just do the Hitler wave?

[10:24:04 AM] Neil: Jon, fuck off, you could have sent up Neda

[10:24:28 AM] Neil: DAT’S RACES

[10:34:39 AM] Neil: 44:13 is the runtime

[10:34:49 AM] Holly: Oh there are commercials, see those little arrows

[10:34:55 AM] Holly: Along the stream line?

[10:35:00 AM] Neil: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

[10:35:02 AM] Holly: Every arrow is two commercials

[10:35:15 AM] Neil: GET DAT MONEY, SLICE

[10:35:55 AM] Holly: Man, Sabrina is THE WORST player

[10:36:09 AM] Holly: “Ok, I would like to campaign” man, just shut the hell up

[10:36:30 AM] Neil: I’d be like, alright, one strike gone

[10:36:47 AM] Neil: Haha Jon: she’s nuts

[10:36:58 AM] Holly: She really is though

[10:37:23 AM] Holly: I can’t believe she doesn’t see that the reason they are keeping her is because she’s terrible at comps and easy to beat

[10:38:09 AM] Neil: That is the only reason why she has gotten away with being there for the last like, five weeks

[10:38:16 AM] Neil: She’s so damn vain tho

[10:38:26 AM] Holly: Sabrina is going without food for a week????

[10:38:36 AM] Holly: This is gon’ be the best week

[10:38:45 AM] Neil: They should have said, “You can’t cry for a week”

[10:38:54 AM] Neil: Fuck it, 24 hours

[10:39:15 AM] Holly: That was a dumb move on her part. She’s gon’ be weak and tired for the HOH

[10:39:44 AM] Holly: And I feel for Neda. If someone told me I couldn’t have makeup and hair products for a week I would stab them

[10:40:18 AM] Neil: Come on, dogg, you know she could have eaten a giant dinner while drinking Red Bull and doing cocaine and she still wouldn’t be able to win a comp

[10:40:43 AM] Holly: Hahahaha

[10:40:45 AM] Holly: Very very true

[10:40:49 AM] Neil: All of her personal belongings?

[10:40:56 AM] Neil: Neda gon’ be nekkid?

[10:41:05 AM] Neil: *watches intently*

[10:41:23 AM] Holly: I’m pretty sure since the show is on TV that they will give her at least one outfit

[10:41:36 AM] Neil: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BIG BROTHER BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[10:41:52 AM] Holly: I’m just throwing this out there, and you can do what you will with it

[10:42:04 AM] Holly: Adel is more annoying to me than Sabrina

[10:42:30 AM] Holly: Also, Sabrina and Adel are gon’ bang after the show

[10:42:39 AM] Holly: Talmabout getting naked next to each other

[10:42:50 AM] Neil: Some solid hate-fucking will go down when they get in the jury house

[10:43:08 AM] Holly: I would put money on it

[10:43:15 AM] Neil: As for annoying?

[10:43:15 AM] Neil: Um

[10:43:22 AM] Neil: That’s a tough call

[10:43:32 AM] Neil: I’d say Sabrina, but it’s like, 52/48

[10:43:41 AM] Holly: Sabrina is pathetic annoying. Adel is loud and cocky annoying

[10:44:10 AM] Holly: Hey Adel, ain’t nothing wrong with spending your money on drinking and going out. Don’t hate

[10:44:13 AM] Neil: Them fucking would be like, a big ol’ Godzilla of annoyance

[10:44:21 AM] Neil: And sweat

[10:44:24 AM] Holly: Imagine the noises coming from that bedroom

[10:44:34 AM] Neil: Well, there goes my day

[10:44:39 AM] Holly: And the sex stank wafting through the house

[10:44:45 AM] Neil: SO MUCH WAFTING

[10:44:56 AM] Holly: Poor Allison and Arlie

[10:45:15 AM] Neil: I was talking to someone at work last night

[10:45:24 AM] Neil: We’re pretty sure they banged the first night

[10:45:41 AM] Holly: Who, Allison and Arlie?

[10:45:44 AM] Neil: Yep

[10:45:49 AM] Holly: Or Sabrina and Adel

[10:45:55 AM] Holly: Oh, reeeeaaallly

[10:46:09 AM] Neil: Why not?

[10:46:14 AM] Neil: You’re there

[10:46:16 AM] Neil: No more stress

[10:46:20 AM] Holly: Yeah, that’s true

[10:46:23 AM] Neil: A buncha food and booze

[10:46:26 AM] Neil: Get it poppin’

[10:46:38 AM] Holly: Ugh, Sabrina

[10:46:57 AM] Neil: Neda ironing her hair on the board haha

[10:46:57 AM] Holly: If you have to say “I 100% mean it, it’s true”, it’s not true

[10:50:14 AM] Neil: Heather lookin’ at Sabrina like, “bitch, if you don’t get the fuck on”

[10:50:21 AM] Holly: Heathers DR session is hilarious over this

[10:50:27 AM] Neil: I love her so much

[10:57:15 AM] Holly: I’m so glad that everyone in the house is on the same page with Sabrina’s insufferableness

[11:00:50 AM] Holly: I give these people props tho, if I was in that house I would lose it on Sabrina. I would literally ruin my gameplay because I wouldn’t be able to hold it in and end up telling her off

[11:01:01 AM] Neil: Absolutely

[11:01:05 AM] Holly: THAT NEDA SIDE EYE THO

[11:01:28 AM] Neil: We need that gif, innanetz

[11:02:08 AM] Holly: Oh god here comes the Adel show

[11:02:15 AM] Holly: Doing a buncha stupid shit that I don’t care about

[11:02:40 AM] Neil: I’d laugh if he slept through the eviction ceremony

[11:02:57 AM] Holly: He only has to stay up for 36 hours. That ain’t shit

[11:03:17 AM] Holly: I don’t find him funny or entertaining at all

[11:03:31 AM] Neil: I did when there were like, 247 people in the house

[11:03:50 AM] Neil: But now that are less people

[11:03:52 AM] Holly: What is this Wallah shit?

[11:03:59 AM] Holly: Did I miss something?

[11:04:01 AM] Neil: It’s something religious, i think

[11:04:08 AM] Neil: I’m not touching that haha

[11:04:15 AM] Holly: “Wallah Bro” is NOT something religious

[11:04:35 AM] Holly: Maybe Wallah is, but all these shirts and hats that say “Wallah Bro”

[11:04:40 AM] Holly: I don’t get it

[11:04:49 AM] Neil: Oh, that’s some shit he and his boys think is cool, I bet

[11:05:06 AM] Neil: I bet the whole crew got ‘em

[11:05:18 AM] Holly: Oh, Urban Dictionary describes it as meaning “I swear to God, brother”

[11:05:25 AM] Neil: Well then

[11:05:55 AM] Holly: OMG, STFU with this hockey dream

[11:05:57 AM] Neil: Jesus, how long does Jon have to have this diaper on?

[11:06:20 AM] Holly: You and 95% of Canadian men have the dream to be a professional hockey player, who cares

[11:06:27 AM] Holly: Until after the eviction

[11:06:33 AM] Neil: Ohhhhhhhhh

[11:07:26 AM] Holly: This eviction is gon’ be JUICY

[11:07:29 AM] Neil: Oh lawd

[11:07:32 AM] Neil: Here comes the piano

[11:07:56 AM] Holly: Neda wants Sab to stay, Jon wants Adel to stay, here’s where we find out who has the most power

[11:08:01 AM] Neil: Yep

[11:08:12 AM] Neil: Yhey hit those raindrops on the window, tho

[11:08:20 AM] Holly: Oh god, the alliance break up music they are playing

[11:08:47 AM] Holly: They are filming this like it’s a rom-com

[11:08:57 AM] Neil: I know, right?

[11:09:44 AM] Neil: i forgot we were the seventh jury member

[11:10:04 AM] Holly: Thats why Adel has to go before final two

[11:10:10 AM] Neil: Yep

[11:10:22 AM] Holly: Oh you may be right! Arlie and Allison are looking kinda close

[11:10:24 AM] Neil: Oh yeah, Arlie hit that

[11:10:31 AM] Holly: Definitely hit that

[11:10:47 AM] Holly: Allison looks like the type of girl to put out after seven drinks

[11:10:55 AM] Holly: And you know she had seven drinks that first night

[11:11:02 AM] Neil: He rubbed those feet

[11:11:15 AM] Neil: Okay, Arlie, listen

[11:11:19 AM] Neil: Fuck the $100,000

[11:11:22 AM] Neil: New mission

[11:11:24 AM] Neil: THREESOME

[11:11:44 AM] Holly: Rachelle is ratchet, Allison is a goddamn drunk, YES, that happened too

[11:11:59 AM] Holly: You hear that, Peter? Rachelle and Allison probably banged and you missed it

[11:12:21 AM] Neil: haha

[11:12:56 AM] Holly: Allison, quit pretending like you know what’s going on in that house, you haven’t the whole time

[11:13:18 AM] Holly: talking like she knows what everyone in the house should be doing…get outta here

[11:13:32 AM] Neil: Basically

[11:13:52 AM] Holly: I really don’t know what’s gonna happen right now!

[11:14:03 AM] Holly: THE HELL IS NEDA WEARING

[11:14:18 AM] Neil: The fuck?

[11:14:35 AM] Neil: That is a solid onesie tho

[11:14:46 AM] Holly: ADEL

[11:14:48 AM] Neil: A garbage bag haha

[11:14:53 AM] Holly: Man, Jon is gonna be pisssssssed

[11:15:00 AM] Neil: Motherfucker

[11:15:06 AM] Neil: She stays in the fucking game

[11:15:09 AM] Holly: They really didn’t give her clothes!

[11:15:48 AM] Neil: Sabrina has like, 978 lives

[11:16:24 AM] Holly: Nah, she’s just being used because she can’t win comps

[11:16:44 AM] Holly: You might as well consider the house at final three now. Sabrina just doesn’t count

[11:17:10 AM] Neil: But I now wouldn’t be surprised if she got to the final two

[11:17:16 AM] Neil: BECAUSE FUCKERY

[11:17:56 AM] Holly: She would have to win two out of three parts of the final HOH comp to go to final two. I really REALLY can’t see that happening

[11:18:26 AM] Holly: I don’t think anyone will take her to final two. She has got Allison, Rachelle and probably Arlie’s vote. Its too risky

[11:18:57 AM] Neil: I can see that

[11:20:31 AM] Neil: I will give Adel one thing tho

[11:20:36 AM] Neil: He is painfully positive

[11:20:44 AM] Neil: That isn’t necessarily bad

[11:20:50 AM] Neil: But I’m not about that life

[11:21:08 AM] Holly: That might be one of the reasons I find him annoying

[11:21:19 AM] Holly: I don’t trust anyone who is always positive and happy.

[11:21:24 AM] Neil: Not at all

[11:21:40 AM] Neil: That is now in the running for this entry’s title

[11:22:30 AM] Holly: If Sabrina wins this HOH I will cry #sabrinatears

[11:24:52 AM] Neil: TEAM HEATHER

[11:25:01 AM] Holly: I want Neda to win

[11:25:31 AM] Neil: Fuck

[11:25:36 AM] Holly: I never know the answers to these questions, even though we watch religiously

[11:25:46 AM] Neil: I wouldn’t remember these in the slightest

[11:25:51 AM] Holly: Oh god Oh god Oh god

[11:26:09 AM] Holly: I’m legit nervous

[11:26:26 AM] Neil: MOTHERFUCKERS

[11:26:40 AM] Holly: Oh for fucks sake

[11:26:53 AM] Holly: Want me to find out who won?

[11:26:57 AM] Neil: Um

[11:27:27 AM] Holly: Rachel Reilly is gon be on the show Sunday? NOAP

[11:27:32 AM] Neil: I wanna know, but I don’t

[11:27:45 AM] Neil: Rachel Rachel?

[11:27:48 AM] Holly: yeah

[11:27:50 AM] Neil: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPP

[11:28:02 AM] Holly: ok, I know who won HOH.

Big Brother Canada 2 – 21 Signs You’re A Basic Bitch (April 23rd)

[8:57:53 PM] Holly: So…

[8:59:13 PM] Holly: I would like to start this recap off with the following video

[8:59:23 PM] Holly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNInKv3-tA0&feature=youtu.be&t=3m

[9:00:00 PM] Holly: If you ever wanted to see Sabrina attempt to twerk (you don’t) then this is the video for you

[9:01:47 PM] Neil: Oh, I bet this is rich

[9:02:10 PM] Neil: What in all of the fucks was that?

[9:02:19 PM] Neil: Does she do that out in front of people?

[9:03:22 PM] Holly: I would assume

[9:03:36 PM] Holly: Did I just see Emmett on the screen?

[9:03:41 PM] Neil: You did

[9:03:52 PM] Holly: Wait, pause that thought, let’s discuss Adel being a dick

[9:03:55 PM] Neil: He and Jillian are hosting a strategy session or something

[9:04:01 PM] Neil: LET’S

[9:04:13 PM] Holly: Listen to him being a loud mouth, acting like he’s hard or something

[9:04:28 PM] Neil: Well damn, that’s harsh for someone who didn’t do anything until JUST NOW

[9:04:53 PM] Holly: Wait a minute

[9:05:04 PM] Holly: He’s gonna lie about Sabrina being against his religion

[9:05:26 PM] Holly: Let;s rewind to the first week, when Paul accused Andrew of being racist, remember how well that worked for him

[9:05:38 PM] Neil: This is true

[9:05:51 PM] Neil: There are some things you don’t do

[9:06:06 PM] Holly: Its dirty gameplay, even for Big Brother

[9:06:27 PM] Holly: Oh here comes Rachelle! You tell him girl!

[9:06:51 PM] Neil: THIS IS THE WORST STRATEGY EVER

[9:07:00 PM] Holly: He just backtracks!

[9:07:01 PM] Neil: How can this possibly benefit him?

[9:07:18 PM] Holly: I’ve been saying this the whole season, he is the worst player in the house.

[9:07:31 PM] Neil: I love how he thinks his plan is so good

[9:07:53 PM] Neil: if he wins, holy crap, I don’t know anything at all

[9:08:22 PM] Holly: Are you drinking

[9:08:26 PM] Neil: #SabrinaTears

[9:08:29 PM] Holly: Hahaha

[9:08:38 PM] Neil: I am not, sadly

[9:08:39 PM] Neil: I’ll bank them and drink a 40 for the finale

[9:09:06 PM] Holly: Oh here she goes!

[9:09:13 PM] Holly: She’s a-hollering

[9:09:45 PM] Holly: I hate to say it, but I’m taking Sabrina’s side on this one. And that hurts so so so much to say

[9:10:03 PM] Neil: Haha, I was just about to say something similar

[9:10:24 PM] Holly: That being said, I’m kind of glad it happened because Sabrina is having an all out meltdown

[9:10:43 PM] Neil: This is an all-time classic

[9:11:50 PM] Neil: I kinda lost some sympathy for her holding the jury vote over his head

[9:11:58 PM] Neil: But I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same

[9:14:10 PM] Holly: Well, I think everyone knew Sabrina was going to vote emotionally anyway. Her, Rachelle and Allison will for sure

[9:14:32 PM] Neil: Yep

[9:15:09 PM] Neil: But even still, I don’t think anyone respects Adel’s gameplay anyway

[9:16:18 PM] Holly: Nah, he’s getting by on sheer luck and idiocy

[9:16:31 PM] Holly: Is Neda waxing Jon’s stomach?

[9:16:42 PM] Neil: She sure is

[9:17:05 PM] Neil: She had cheese in her hair!

[9:17:09 PM] Holly: Jon just farting right on Neda

[9:17:28 PM] Neil: He got that fart face on

[9:17:30 PM] Neil: So focused

[9:17:37 PM] Neil: She loves it too

[9:17:41 PM] Neil: Don’t lie, girl

[9:18:06 PM] Holly: Nothing breaks the serious tone of a convo like a good loud fart

[9:18:45 PM] Neil: Combined with a good musty smell, serious convos can definitely be ended

[9:18:58 PM] Neil: Why is Alan Thicke standing beside a carrot?

[9:19:11 PM] Holly: Hahaha SHIT I missed that

[9:19:29 PM] Holly: PETER

[9:20:33 PM] Neil: Haha

[9:20:50 PM] Holly: If I was in that veto comp, I would fail miserably. I would just stop trying and go put the moves on Peter

[9:21:00 PM] Neil: What did he do before BB?

[9:21:06 PM] Holly: Nothing

[9:21:12 PM] Holly: Youtube videos

[9:22:21 PM] Neil: He threw that shit in the bushes as soon as this came around

[9:22:58 PM] Holly: He probably hit on Rachelle though, he has the hots for Pissy Pants Magee

[9:23:11 PM] Holly: Doesn’t help that her tittays are hanging out

[9:23:18 PM] Holly: Rachelle, put some damn clothes on

[9:23:23 PM] Neil: They are, aren’t they?

[9:23:27 PM] Neil: NOAP

[9:24:07 PM] Neil: wait

[9:24:08 PM] Neil: what?

[9:24:26 PM] Neil: This is the strangest gameplay I have ever seen

[9:24:45 PM] Holly: If you’re throwing a comp, at least make it look like you tried

[9:24:54 PM] Holly: Adel is so cocky

[9:24:58 PM] Neil: Especially if you’re HOH

[9:25:48 PM] Neil: You normally want your noms to stay the same if you make them

[9:27:00 PM] Holly: Yep

[9:27:20 PM] Holly: Throwing the veto comp when you’re HOH is mad shady

[9:27:51 PM] Neil: Some would say stupid

[9:28:41 PM] Holly: Seriously, Rachelle’s tittays are all the way out

[9:28:58 PM] Neil: Same with Heather’s

[9:29:03 PM] Neil: I approve of this game

[9:29:50 PM] Neil: Honestly, Heather has played the best game of anyone so far

[9:30:02 PM] Holly: So does Peter, staring at Rachelle’s tittays

[9:30:27 PM] Neil: Haha so jealous, I love it

[9:30:33 PM] Holly: Yes she has, Heather has done a really good job all the way through

[9:31:08 PM] Neil: That HOH proved that she was truly ’bout that life

[9:32:13 PM] Neil: Hahaha, they are PARTYIN

[9:32:35 PM] Holly: Giving no fucks about what the gremlin think

[9:32:50 PM] Neil: But that has been known to come back and bite mufuckas

[9:32:57 PM] Holly: See, Heather is throwing that comp good

[9:33:21 PM] Neil: Yep

[9:33:26 PM] Neil: She could have won that easily

[9:34:01 PM] Neil: #SabrinaTears

[9:34:06 PM] Holly: So many tears

[9:35:01 PM] Holly: I like how Sabrina instantly thinks it is Rachelle that’s going home.

[9:35:13 PM] Holly: So much for being humble

[9:35:24 PM] Neil: I know, right?

[9:35:45 PM] Neil: If I were Rachelle, I’d be like, um, they hate you WAY more

[9:35:54 PM] Neil: And I don’t know

[9:36:05 PM] Neil: They’ve had 37 chances to evict sabrina

[9:36:24 PM] Neil: I’m afraid if they keep putting it off, she’ll fuck around and end up in the final two

[9:37:01 PM] Holly: I dont think there is any way she could go final two. I don’t think she’d win any of the parts of the final HOH

[9:37:36 PM] Neil: Stranger shit has happened on this show

[9:38:15 PM] Neil: Poor Neda

[9:38:23 PM] Neil: Always getting some extra shit

[9:38:40 PM] Neil: Both of her HOHs this season, she never even got a room 😦

[9:39:17 PM] Holly: She hasn’t complained about it though, good for her

[9:39:45 PM] Neil: She tryna get this threesome poppin’ tho

[9:40:41 PM] Holly: In true Jillian fashion, she just stands there not giving any advice because Emmett played for her all season

[9:40:57 PM] Neil: Haha

[9:41:05 PM] Neil: She came up big when she had to

[9:41:11 PM] Neil: She’s from Scotia too, isn’t she?

[9:41:24 PM] Holly: Yep

[9:41:28 PM] Neil: SCOTIA

[9:41:35 PM] Holly: Jillian is a basic bitch tho

[9:41:45 PM] Holly: Nice leopard print shirt

[9:42:18 PM] Neil: “Basic bitch”….that’s being incorporated into the lexicon

[9:42:27 PM] Neil: I don’t know what it means, but I will figure it out

[9:42:32 PM] Holly: I’m surprised it’s not already

[9:43:03 PM] Neil: Um

[9:43:12 PM] Neil: Why is Emmett wearing an African chain?

[9:43:23 PM] Holly: http://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2012/11/21-signs-youre-a-basic-bitch/

[9:43:37 PM] Holly: Because he was just in Africa

[9:43:45 PM] Holly: On Big Brother Manzi

[9:43:55 PM] Neil: Bet the fuck outta here

[9:45:31 PM] Neil: SON

[9:45:34 PM] Neil: 4. You tweet: “It’s 11:11. Make a wish!”

[9:45:59 PM] Holly: This is pretty funny

[9:46:00 PM] Holly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaghIdSJKvQ

[9:47:03 PM] Neil: I’ll check it out after we’re done….I feel I need to do some serious research on basic bitches

[9:47:28 PM] Neil: Pedo bunny?

[9:48:51 PM] Holly: I hope there is an all out riot looking for these eggs

[9:49:00 PM] Holly: Throwing elbows, tripping people

[9:49:56 PM] Neil: Neda tryna ruin Easter boooooooooooooo

[9:50:12 PM] Holly: Hahaha I like it

[9:50:30 PM] Holly: Cynicism

[9:50:50 PM] Holly: Adel, calm the hell down. He’s screaming in everyone’s face

[9:50:55 PM] Neil: I bet he gets Screech

[9:51:04 PM] Neil: And I really don’t like him now

[9:51:11 PM] Neil: Adel, that is

[9:52:16 PM] Holly: AW SHIT

[9:52:35 PM] Holly: They just showed Rachelle falling out of the hammock

[9:52:49 PM] Holly: That was this week’s segment of Shit Rachelle Did

[9:53:04 PM] Neil: And the shitty rapping

[9:53:23 PM] Neil: Is she is a basic bitch?

[9:56:43 PM] Neil: I implore everyone to watch the trailer for that “Devious Maids” show…..holy shit, that was BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

[9:57:45 PM] Holly: Wh wow that is terrible

[9:58:53 PM] Neil: Wow

[9:59:24 PM] Neil: Sabrina really has no concept of the idea that SHE could go home

[10:00:25 PM] Holly: Noap

[10:00:30 PM] Holly: She is delusonal

[10:01:11 PM] Neil: My prediction for tomorrow night: she gets voted out and slips on her tears walking through the door

[10:02:21 PM] Holly: Sadly, I think we’ll have to endure her for another week.

[10:02:36 PM] Holly: But it may be interesting to see how she acts all by herself in the house

[10:03:11 PM] Neil: Yeah, you’re right

[10:03:19 PM] Neil: She’s of more use to people than Rachelle

[10:03:30 PM] Neil: Who is around to be hot and gross at the same damn time

[10:04:33 PM] Holly: She’s a ratchet hoe

[10:05:20 PM] Neil: Well, over the next week before we do this again, I will have basic bitches figured out

[10:05:43 PM] Neil: Maybe she’ll grow into basic bitchery

[10:05:48 PM] Neil: She’s still young

[10:06:02 PM] Holly: Word ‘em up