Tag Archives: Morgan

The Walking Dead S07E08 – Hearts Still Beating

The Walking Dead powered into its midseason break with “Hearts Still Beating”, and while the grammatical error in the title really bothers me (I’ll explain that later), it was everything that is great about TWD: it was cheesy, over the top, still had a little bit of heart, and it was a buncha Negan being a dick. Let’s go……..

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-We open with Maggie at Glenn’s grave, which I assume she does daily, and then she goes to the top of the gate at the Hilltop. Gregory has an apple and is almost like, do you want this, and Eduardo, who is also up there, is like, dude, she’s pregnant, so Gregory thinks he’s being a nice guy by giving her the apple. One, she’s pregnant, stop being a dick, and two, most importantly, pregnant or not, Maggie would stomp the muddiest of holes in Gregory’s ass. Did he spend an entire episode getting punked by everyone like, two weeks ago? If you don’t go sit your fake Herschel ass down somewhere.

-Daryl gets out of his cell because of that note that told him to go. Yay. Fuck.

-More importantly, Negan is at Rick’s house, taking a shave and telling One-Eyed Carl how to shave as well, cooking pasta in his house, lookin’ like that scene from “Goodfellas“, but without the cocaine. Olivia gets some lemonade from Tara, who says she’ll go inside and take over for Olivia, who told Rick she would watch Judith, and neither of them would be able to do anything, so that’s pointless.

-Then we have Rick and Aaron, who decide to go out to the houseboat in the canoe full of bulletholes, and I was like, OOOOOOOOOOH WHAT LEVEL OF FUCKERY IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN……well, the scene is stretched out, but basically, the canoe sinks because bulletholes, they have to fight off water walkers (which I figured would like, disintegrate in the water, but whatever man), Aaron sees one in the other canoe, falls the fuck over and is taken under, Rick freaks out, Aaron pops up, and I let out a good, hearty laugh. The best thing about The Walking Dead is when you can see the fuckery down the road, and you know it’s about to be some bullshit, but it’s just a matter of how they get to, and through, the bullshit. It was great. Anyway, they get to the canoe, while Negan is back at the house, tucking napkins in his shirt and shit, getting ready to chow down on a trough of spaghetti because that seems to be all they have at Alexandria (remember Aaron, Daryl and, um….Eric? I think that’s his boyfriend’s name).

-Spencer is tryna be nice to the Saviors, where some girl wants to holla at him and show him the compound later, aka her walls (not walls in a house, use your imagination). She also takes a moment to punk Eugene, who watches this flirtation go down because he’s a creep like that and he does like to watch.

-Meanwhile, Carol is tryna chill and read her book by a fire like a civilized human, and mufuckas won’t leave her alone, Morgan, King Zeke (who we don’t see in this episode and that’s some bullshit), and now Richard, apparently that is his name. He comes in and tries to persuade them to convince King Zeke to strike first against the Saviors, and Carol is like, I just wanna read my fuckin’ book and eat my produce, and we all know Morgan ain’t about that life. So, Richard goes to a shittily-hidden camper in the woods, throws a milk bottle and starts crying. So, here is my thing: why should I care about Richard? The Kingdom, even, for that matter? Spend a little more time on it and maybe, just maybe we would care. They could have honestly split up the Kingdom episode with the Tara episode at Ladyland, as my girl calls it. Because….anyway, more about the latter a bit later on because I have a guess about that. Richard does bring up a good point, though: the Saviors don’t really need a reason to go back on their deal. They run shit.

-Rick and Aaron are on the houseboat getting supplies, and they’re talking about this deal with the Saviors, which Michonne doesn’t think is living, but Aaron disagrees and says, “either your heart is beating or it isn’t”…..meanwhile, Michonne is still driving with this hostage Savior, and tries to talk to her because Michonne is losing her mind, and this woman just isn’t having it at all. OH, and back to Rick and Aaron, someone in mismatched boots is watching them through binoculars. Spooky.

-Oh, I almost forgot about Daryl and his great escape. He sneaks around, being all sneaky, then gets to Dwight’s room and eats ALL of the peanut butter with his dirty-ass finger. How does one eat that much peanut butter, that quickly, with one finger, and then not go to the bathroom right afterwards? And as he leaves, he smashes Dwight’s figurines, and they seemed to focus on one in particular, and I don’t know what the significance is. Maybe to show that Daryl is a badass? I bet he listens to Kid Rock. Goddammit, I hate this dude.

-At Hilltop, Maggie can smell apple pies through doors, but that’s believable because pregnancy hormones are no joke. Maggie wants to ask Jesus to get stuff, but Sasha says he left this morning. Maggie leaves and Enid is like, WHY YOU ALWAYS LYIN’. It’s because Sasha has a plan to go after Negan, because who doesn’t? I’d love to sit down and rank all of the plans because there are some real shitburgers in this pile.

-Father Bitchass and Rosita are at the church….and you know what…..GABRIEL tries to talk Rosita out of her shitty plan to kill Negan, maybe wait so everyone can work together. He has earned the right to finally be called by his real name. Lowkey, Young Gabe might be the MVP of the half-season (non-Negan division). Can’t wait for that to backfire in my face.

-Spencer is in the mirror, practicing how to say “Hi” and he looks like he’s on some Jack Handy shit (old SNL skit, do ya Googles). He tells Rosita that the plan is to get close to Negan and then strike, and Rosita says she used him before, but she’ll do dinner with him later because yo, people gotta bang, b. Meanwhile, Daryl finishes his great escape by bashing Fat Joey’s head in with a pipe, and Jesus walks in on it, so they steal a motorbike and leave. Negan gon’ kill everyone at that compound, b. He leaves and everyone stops giving all of the fucks. Everyone gon’ have irons on their faces.

-Michonne and the lady Savior drive to within distance of a gang of Saviors, like, hundreds of mufuckas and is basically like, bruh, you can’t win this fight, he is everywhere…..but I’m done with this shit, so you need to kill me and set this truck on fire. Which Michonne apparently does.

-Rick and Aaron get back to Alexandria to find Negan and ’em, and Aaron takes a massive ass-whipping because of some fuckass note they found on the houseboat that says “congrats for winning, but you still lose”. Thanks to Holly for this, but why did they even take the note back with them? How would they not know that would be some shit? Anyway, Aaron says that his heart is still beating, which is why the title bothers me. “heart’s” = “heart is”, not “hearts”. I don’t know why I would expect a show like this to care about that, but anyway.

-Spencer introduces himself to Negan, who wants to play pool, so they move a pool table out in the middle of the street. Spencer throws Rick under the bus, more or less implying that Rick got his mother killed and that he always fucks shit up (which isn’t all the way wrong), and that Spencer can be the new leader. Here is where you realized that he gotta die, because Negan says that Rick is swallowing his pride and his hate of Negan to get shit done, and that if Spencer wants Rick’s spot, go take it….but he won’t, because he doesn’t have the guts….and then he disembowels Spencer right on the street. In front of everyone, because everyone decided to come out and watch this game of pool. Shit looked like a Michael Jackson video.

-Rosita gets mad and pulls out the heat, but instead of shooting Negan, she shoots Lucille and Negan starts randomly cursing, sounding like Sterling Archer. One of the Saviors throws Rosita to the ground and cuts her face, while Negan wants to know who made this magic bullet. A couple people say they did it, but Negan knows they’re lying, so the female Savior, Arat is her name, she shoots Olivia. Tara then says she did it, but Eugene confesses and Negan is like, yeah, you look like a bullet-makin’ mufucka. So he takes Eugene with him when he leaves, and Rick stabs a reanimating Spencer in the head because fuck that guy.

-Michonne and Rick meet in the cells, and Michonne tells him that there are more Saviors than they thought, but they still have to fight. So they go to the Hilltop to see Maggie, and Jesus and Daryl are there, and it’s one big-ass Avengers reunion as they walk up to the house to discuss a plan. Daryl even gives Rick back his gun, which was on Fat Joey because that’s way too easy. Maggie better have kicked Daryl in the nuts at least three times, since he got back.

-I missed this, but after the credits, Young Gabe is being watched at the Alexandria gate by the person with the mismatched boots. I’m gon’ guess it’s someone from Ladyland? It better be. We don’t need any more new people.

-The one thing that I do like that they are rationing us with Negan, because I think if he were in every episode, it would be too much. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the MVP of this half-season and it isn’t even close because of how he straddles that line of being a cartoon and a downright fucking lunatic. But every episode and I think it would be too much. They just have to figure out to handle shit when he isn’t in the episode.

-Also, AMC: get your shit together and just make all the episode 90 minutes long. What else do you have to show? And if you’re gon’ have this many characters, you just might as well. I don’t wanna make any more Game Of Thrones comparisons, but let’s just say, you’re not Game Of Thrones. Take that extra advertising money and highstep down the sideline.

That was a solid ending to a typical half-season of The Walking Dead, which will return in February and likely do the same thing: be great for the first couple episodes, then be garbage, then end strong. Morgan and Carol will eventually come around and reach out to Rick because someone will hear something about Alexandria, which means King Zeke and Battlecat will be involved, Tara will holla at Ladyland, and yeah…..man, it is what it is by now with The Walking Dead. If they could just be consistent, the world would be a better place. The ratings are dropping, but they’re just now very good down from astronomical. It’ll be interesting to see if they try to improve in the second half of Season 7, I wouldn’t bet on it, but crazier things have happened and I’ma watch anyway. See y’all in February.

 

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The Walking Dead S06E16 – Last Day On Earth

Season 6 came to an end on The Walking Dead with “Last Day On Earth”, a plodding, ominous beast of an episode. I thank my terrible attention span because I was doing other shit while it was on, which is why I wasn’t as mad as some of y’all were. Can’t be outchea being engrossed by this shit. After six seasons, y’all don’t know yet? Let’s go……

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-We open from the point of view of someone in a box, with streams of light coming in. It reminds me of when they were in the container at Terminus, so it’s pretty easy to assume it’s the dumbasses that got caught because Daryl is a shitty tracker. Morgan finds a horse, probably belonging to the person at the farmhouse. Horses don’t last long in The Walking Dead. Then we have the dude that has Carol’s rosary beads, looking like he is about to turn, and he is a better tracker than Daryl. Next, we have a man running through the woods, with some whistling going on around him. Carl argues with Enid about her coming on this mission to take Maggie to the Hilltop, to a doctor. Meanwhile, the Saviors surround the man, and Rick assembles the crew, who does a lot of talking, but I don’t pay attention.

-The Saviors tell the man they were chasing that rules were broken and people had to die because of it, so it wasn’t their fault. There isn’t much explaining of the rules, but you can bet that the rules were basically, listen to us to die. Or some version of that. Not very complex, that is for sure. Meanwhile, to get Enid not to come on the mission, Carl locks her in a closet and then tells her to just survive somehow. Bruh, you locked me in a fucking closet, how in the hell am I supposed to get out? It’s about to be that kind of episode. Mufuckas about to act real good and stupid.

-Rick lets Aaron join the group, and apparently Father Bitchass is in charge while he is gone. That sounds like it should go on the pantheon of Rick’s bad ideas. First things first….why can’t you just go and get the doctor and bring that person there? Why are you leaving Alexandria completely unattended? Everyone that is worth a damn is gone. Your best bet was pregnant Maggie.

-Gallopin’ Morgan finds Carol huddled on a stoop, and she got cut in her scuffle with the dude from last episode. The Saviors drag this poor man, who is basically a human pinata for them, into the road, and the leader says they’re making an example of him. The man asks to who since his people are all dead, and gets kicked in the back for his troubles. Rick’s group is trying to keep Maggie calm in the RV, and I forgot she cut her hair. Morgan plays doctor with Carol (not that way, pervs) so they can go back to Alexandria, but Carol doesn’t want to. Of course, Morgan is stubborn and doesn’t fucking listen to anyone, so she might as well stop fighting.

-The RV meets up with the Savior group, who are standing in the middle of the road. Rick offers to make a deal and dude is like, how about you give us your shit and we don’t kill you, and Rick is like, eh, we’ll just leave. The two go back and forth about this being one of their last day on Earth, hence the name of the episode. All I hear is Mase’s “24 Hours to Live” in the background. Round 1 goes to the Saviors, because Rick was like, we don’t want those problems.

-After commercial, we go to the box with the light streams and the heavy breathing, so this will pop up a couple more times in the episode. In the RV, Carl asks Aaron why he is here and he says he owes Maggie, while Carl says he owes the Saviors. Again, selfish motives ruining the group. At least Rick is selfish with a plan, these mufuckas are just runnin’ around all willy-nilly. Carol is telling Morgan how she cares about the group, and is willing to kill for them, but she doesn’t want to kill anymore, so she had to leave. She points a gun at him, but Carol is tired. And I get what she is saying, but man, you gotta tell them first, you know that they’re going to come after you, and here we are, with no one at Alexandria, and everybody about to die.

-Abe tells Sasha that he is ready to bring new life into the world, and she smiles at a dumb fucking idea. Are you serious? That is exactly what you need. A fucking baby in a zombie apocalypse. I thought Maggie and Glenn’s baby was a bad idea, too. But then, they run into another group of Saviors, this time, there are more of them, and they turn around as one of the Saviors busts his gun into the air. It’s probably about this point where they should be thinking of an alternate plan.

-Morgan finds a walker hanging from something and decides to kill it and cut it down. Really, bruh? Compassion for fucking zombies? I’m so done with this dude. And he left Carol, who runs away, so now he has to go find her again. What was he even doing?

-The RV gets to another roadblock, this time, with a line of walkers chained to each other, which means there was some work put into this one. Then they notice that one of the walkers has two of Michonne’s dreadlocks, and another has bolts from Daryl’s crossbow, so yeah, these people are better at this than y’all. The Saviors start shooting from the woods and the group peaces out in the RV. But they realize that the Saviors were shooting at their feet; they would be dead if they wanted them to be.

-Preview of Fear The Walking Dead: zombies in the water, and I assume that is Strand’s place that is on fire. Sure. I’ll watch this.

-The RV is starting to break down, and Rick tells Maggie (whose condition is getting worse) that they’re fine, but his faces are so good. When they get to yet another roadblock, this time, one with like, 35-40 people, his face says, oh man we are so fucked right now, Saviors outchea lookin’ like a rap-album cover from 1994.

-Meanwhile, Morgan is gallopin’ down the street and finds Carol’s beads by a freshly-killed walker. Carol is walking along and gets caught by the hurt Savior, but not before she fights off a walker and tears its face off. The hurt Savior fucks her up pretty good, and he has a gun, so he shoots her in arm, and the leg, because he wants to watch her die before he dies.

-Again, we get the box, then Rick comforting Maggie, but looking like he is going to pee himself at the thought of what is next. And I just thought of something: at this point, how do they even know that the doctor at the Hilltop (I just remembered he had that ultrasound machine because who doesn’t have an ultrasound machine?) is still alive? After meeting the Saviors, I assume everyone is dead outchea in these streets.

-Then Morgan, of course, comes out of nowhere and shoots the man all to hell and Carol is like, MOTHERFUCKER WILL YOU JUST LET ME DIE FOR FUCK SAKES. But they survive and then, well, shoutout to the homegirl Holly for this: “speaking of, who the fuck were those storm trooper dudes that Morgan met up with ?”. Mufuckas on horses dressed like Star Wars characters come around the corner, say they’ll help Morgan, mufuckas shake hands and walk off. Hahahaha the writers just don’t care anymore. And they shouldn’t. Because we’ll still watch it.

-Rick and ’em get to a big-ass log roadblock, and then the man that the Saviors are fuckin’ with, they hang him from a bridge. Aaron wants to shoot him down, but Rick says they need to conserve bullets and quite frankly, who the hell is this guy? At this point, he probably wants to die anyway. Then the logs are set on fire and the Savior from earlier says some more shit about this being the last day on Earth for someone in Rick’s group. Rick and ’em are like, man, fuck this, and peace out.

-They try to come up with a plan and Eugene says they should go on foot because they were looking for the RV. So this is the plan: Eugene drives the empty RV to lure the Saviors. Hahahaha what? And then what? Did you see how many of the Saviors there were? They’re probably watching you RIGHT NOW. HOLY SHIT. This is not gon’ end well. Eugene gives Rick the recipe for making bullets, and they all pump him up, telling him he is a survivor. What in the name of Destiny Child’s is going on here?

-The next commercial is the conclusion of Flight 462, which is a scene from Fear TWD last season as Nick looks up in the sky and sees a plane flying all screwy. He’s like, hmmm….that’s interesting. Shoutout to the flight attendant that takes her oxygen mask off and looks like she’s ready to eat.

-They put Maggie on a stretcher (WHERE IN THE FUCK DID THEY GET A STRETCHER) and leave Eugene to go and get caught. The group is walking through the woods, and they hear the whistles, and basically run right into the middle of all the Saviors, who have Eugene. They get their shit taken and they get on their knees. The box that we have been seeing all episode is actually a van, and Dwight gets out, along with Glenn, Michonne, Rosita and Daryl, who is shot, but still alive, for fuck sakes. Someone needs to explain to me why y’all love this dude so much. I really don’t get it. I never have.

-Then we get to the best part: we finally meet Negan, who has a scarf on, what is it called, an ascot? Something like that. Anyway, he also has a bat wrapped in barbed wire; so this is the Lucille that I’ve been hearing about and yup, it’s a bat wrapped in barbed wire alright. His speech rambles on, and it’s fine, after waiting this long to meet him, he can talk for as long as he wants and it’s not like anyone can say shit to him. He tells the group that they’re only still living so they can work for them, and the rules are the same that the Savior said earlier: their shit is his shit. He says “shit” a lot, which I respect as it is my favorite curse word. But Negan also says that someone has to pay because some of his men have died, and at this point, I’m like, alright, let’s do this. Glenn tries to be the big man and protect Maggie, and that shit gets shot down with the quickness. He does the eeny-meeny-miny-moe thing with the group to see who is going to get to party with Lucille, and then gets to the moe…..but we don’t see who gets it. All we see is the blood dripping down the camera, and Negan saying, you’re taking it like a champ. A couple more swings, fade to black, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd scene.

-So, people are mad about the end, but me, I liked it. I like not knowing who it is that got the business end of Lucille, and guessing throughout the off-season. I know some comic readers are going to be pressed to tell us what happens, and I’ve already read it. But the way that TWD works, you really don’t know because they’ve gone so far off the comics already. Still, don’t be a pressed asshole. We know the comics are out there and can read it ourselves if we want. No one cares, b.

-Negan was great. That was well worth the wait. He is probably already the best villain of the show so far. Yep, better than the Governor.

-The episode dragged, for sure, but AMC had to get that advertising money. Because SOMEONE has to pay to keep Better Call Saul (which is GREAT, by the way) on, and all these other new shows.

-Why are y’all are so pressed for Daryl. Is it shallow eye candy (which I approve of, shoutout to Alyssa Milano’s career)? Because he doesn’t do anything.

-I want Glenn or Daryl to be gone. Actually, anyone but Michonne.

And thus ends another season of The Walking Dead. Listen…..it’s not good. It has flashes here and there, where you can tell they really try to give the characters something good, like 2-3 episodes a season. But overall, the audience doesn’t care about those episodes and want to see death and murderkillviolence and walkers and Negan and such…..so why bother? And now people get mad at this? Psssssssh. AMC is going to do what they’re going to do, and we’re going to watch. If I were you, I’d get off the train right now because if you think it’s going to get better, it’s not. Just appreciate it for what it is, not what it isn’t. It’s frustrating, it’s entertaining, it’s a mess and we’ll watch next season because why the hell not?

That being said, I’m drawing the line at ten seasons. Unless there are dragons and nudity. Then I’m in for as long as it takes.

The Walking Dead S06E15 – East

As I have said before, The Walking Dead is a show built on bad decisions. Hell, if they were making good decisions, the show probably would have lasted a solid season and a half. But with “East”, the penultimate episode of Season 6, they might have set a new bar. Let’s go…..

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-The episode starts with a montage with a female voice saying “I see you” and a bullethole in a windshield, then she says to “come out slowly” as we see the car has a flat tire. There is dripping blood, and a dude saying that “he’s going to pass on that”…a spear with blood on it, then Carol’s rosary beads on the ground, a man yelling and then a gunshot. Pretty ominous, and not subtle that shit is about to hit the fan. Subtlety has never been a strong suit of The Walking Dead.

-Carol is sewing a jacket or something, looking fed up, then she looks around and then starts packing a bag with food, so she is getting outta here. Tobin comes in the room and she throws the backpack under the bed, and he starts talking about Denise, but Carol ain’t listening at all. Me neither, Killa, me neither. She looks like she is either gon’ cry and put him in an arm triangle.

-Next is another montage, because who doesn’t love montages, and this one is set to Johnny Cash’s “It’s All Over” (shoutout to Tunefind), which is perfect for this scene. Tobin is sleeping as Carol dips out, Carl grabs a gun and stares at it, and it has something engraved on it…I even paused on it and I still don’t know what it says….I think there is a “D” in there, and he takes the gun. Maggie and Glenn are showering, and Glenn notices some bruises on her, probably from her scuffle with Alicia Witt and her shitty band of miscreants because again, taking pregnant women out on MURDERDEATHKILL missions is always something you need to do. Daryl is on his motorcycle with the “Dennis” keychain that Denise found before she got an arrow in the eye, and he looks like he’s about to do something stupid. But then we have, for me, the best part of the montage. Sasha gives Abe a cigar as they’re switching guard posts, and they’re all smiling and happy, and then Sasha catches Rosita’s eye…..ooooooooooooooooooooooh. That look Rosita gives her is so good. It’s part sadness, part “bitch I’ma fight you at some point”, and Sasha almost looks at her like, “yeah, I know it’s coming”.

-Michonne and Rick are in bed, eating an apple loudly, and I forgot this was a thing. Michonne has to get up and help Maggie, who is worried about an attack, but Rick is like, nah, we got this, which means they absolutely don’t got this and something fucked up is about to happen. Then we get to Michonne outside with Maggie and Glenn, and they’re telling her that ain’t shit gon’ happen, when they see Daryl opening the gate and leaving on his bike, so of course, they have to follow him: Glenn, Michonne and Rosita head out, and Rosita knows where he is going, she says. Then, Tobin takes Carol’s goodbye note to Rick, who leaves with Morgan of all people to go find her. Great, so we have six people gone from the group, all of whom are good-to-great fighters. If the Saviors are watching Alexandria, they’re laughing like, yo, we ain’t even have to do anything.And the best part of Carol’s note is when it says, don’t try to find me…..does she know who the hell she is talking to? Yeesh.

-Carol is driving down the road in her car with spikes coming out of it, because that’s not going to draw attention. A truck drives past her, and they shoot the tires out. They demand that she gets out of the car, and then they find out where she is coming from, which they know because they’ve seen cars with spikes out of them at Alexandria. Carol is like, man, just go away and no one needs to get hurt; basically, don’t bring the Killa out. She’s basically Bruce Banner and the Hulk at this point. When they don’t do what she says, Carol sprays them with a gun in her coat sleeve, which is what she was sewing at the beginning of the episode. There is one Savior left, or so it seems, and that is what we see during the pre-credit scene: he charges at her, there is a gunshot and that is it. The blood we see is his as she shoots him, but did he get her with his knife? MYSTERY.

-Maggie tries to get some food before her guard shift, but Enid says she’ll do it so Maggie can rest. Does Maggie not know she is pregnant? I get she wants to help, but come on, bruh.

-Morgan and Rick are driving east, which they deduced from tire tracks. Rick says that Morgan doesn’t know Carol and he doesn’t know why he is doing this, and Morgan is like, nah, we got to know each other a bit, and then he speaks in vague cliches about right and wrong and it’s getting really annoying. They get to the shootout site, where there is another Savior, but he hides while Rick and Morgan survey the scene. They see a blood trail, which they deduce is Carol’s and they start following, while the Savior comes out of the woods, grabs Carol’s beads and starts following them. Oh, Rick and Morgan killed the Savior that rushed Carol. I think that was him.

-Rosita, Michonne and Glenn to get to where Denise was killed, and they find Daryl’s bike hidden, so Rosita was right as Daryl came back to find Dwight and kill him. This seems like such a terrible idea. Glenn and Michonne want to bring him back, but Rosita thinks they should let him do what he has to do. So they track him easily enough; example #1 of Daryl being a bad tracker. But that’s just the tip of the goddamn iceberg and yeah, he shoots an arrow close enough to them to know that he knows they’re there; I don’t care. They want him to come home, but Daryl tells them that he should have killed Dwight back in “Always Accountable” (which I apparently skipped in these recaps because I think I was on holiday), and Denise would still be alive. I don’t know about that because Denise was pretty stupid and probably would have gotten herself killed anyway, but it wouldn’t have been by Dwight. So yeah, you gotta kill everyone in this world. Anyway, he leaves, Rosita is like, he’s right and goes with him, leaving Glenn and Michonne there like, the fuck just happened? But of course, Dwight and ’em come outta nowhere and surround them; example #2 of Daryl’s tracking abilities. Also, his shitty soliloquy gave the Saviors time to come up with their “surround” plan. Yeah, this all Daryl’s fault.

-Rick and Morgan continue their back-and-forth about life being precious and shit, and Morgan remembers that they threw Carol in the bushes after she killed those people at the prison, and what would happen now; Rick says they would thank her, and Morgan is like, you see what happens when you give people another chance? But that’s different, bruh; that’s Carol, not some mufucka with a W in his forehead THAT TELLS YOU, POINT BLANK, HE’S GON’ COME BACK AND KILL YOU. Why is this so hard for him to understand?  Rick is like, I’ll deal with that later as they approach a farmhouse, and they see a walker that kinda looks like Carol, but it isn’t. They reach the farmhouse and there is a dude there, and he says he is looking for his horse, and Rick is like, we’re looking for our friend. The dude peaces out, but a buncha walkers emerge and that allows him to run while Rick and Morgan fight them off. Rick thinks dude is a Savior and Morgan is like, we don’t know that….really, who cares. He also tells Rick that he had that dude in the basement, and Carol knew about it, but that Wolf saved Denise, who then saved Carl in the most roundabout fucking argument I’ve ever heard. He ain’t know that dude threatened Denise on a damn-near minutely basis and if Denise would have died, he wouldn’t have cared. Man. Fuck Morgan, b. Anyway, he tells Rick that he should go back and he’ll go after Carol, and Rick gives him a gun and he doesn’t wanna take it, but Rick is like, don’t be stupid. Rick also tells Morgan that Michonne did steal the protein bar from the premiere, “First Time Again“. Morgan is like, mufucka, I know and they laugh. I forgot about that.

-Rick gets back to Alexandria, and everyone is still gone, and the two share a moment about being afraid to get close to anyone again. Fair, but yo…..we ain’t got time for this sappy shit right now.

-Maggie gets Enid to cut her hair short, like, Carol’s length, and Maggie says she has to keep going, so I guess she needs a change. But just then, she starts screaming in pain and doubles over, and Enid starts freaking out. Maggie better not lose this baby. Sure wish there was something close to a doctor left, but oh wait, she decides to try and play warrior last week.

-Daryl and Rosita are sneaking around and they see Glenn and Michonne tied up, and he tells them to be quiet, but Glenn is obviously tryna warn him and oh wouldn’t you fucking know it, there is Dwight, behind Daryl with a gun. He pulls the trigger and says “he’ll be alright” as there is a buncha blood splatter and the episode ends. The final example of Daryl being a terrible tracker. There have been other examples in past episodes, too. He was good in the early seasons, but he is just awful in the last few. And honestly, he hope he is dead, but I’m prepared for him to be alive because after the Glenn thing, you won’t fool me again. He should be dead and Carol should be dead, and it hurts my soul to say it, but they should be and I hope they are.

-Oh yeah, before I wrap this up: Flight 462 had their 15th episode, and the pieces are finally coming together. The glass broke and the plane is going down and as they’re going through people putting on their masks, you get a quick look at a flight attendant and she doesn’t look good at all. So they’re gon’ crash in the ocean, which is where all the zombies come from in the trailer for the second season of Fear The Walking Dead (which I’m not sure if I’ma write about this season because life is busy and Game Of Thrones takes precedence….maybe I’ll break it up in five-episode recaps). That’s my guess. The last clip will air during next week’s finale.

So what do I think will happen next week? I think we should finally see Negan, who is going to kill someone. I guess if I had to rank them, I’d say Daryl is most likely, followed by Carol, Michonne and Glenn. Someone gotta die, though. I’ll be pissed if that doesn’t happen. What is Carl planning to do with that gun? Will Morgan use the gun that Rick gave him? Will the Saviors hit Alexandria now that they’re terribly outmanned? I’m not watching any trailers or anything, but I do know it’s 90 minutes. Let’s go, The Walking Dead. You’ve brought us this far with your ridiculousness. Don’t back off now.

 

The Walking Dead S06E08 – Start To Finish

The Walking Dead hit the midway point of Season 6 with “Start To Finish”, and they’re usually pretty solid when it comes to finales. While this one wasn’t great in terms of technical aspects, after a couple of dour episodes, they went into the break with hilarity. I doubt that was their goal, but this might have been the funniest episode I’ve seen of anything this season. Let’s go…..

-We open upstairs at Jessie’s house, and we see little creepy Sam leaving an empty plate outside his door because remember, he won’t come outside. He is drawing a picture of a boy tied to a tree with what appears to be walkers on either side of him, because he’s a shitty artist. This is a call back to last season when Carol told him that she would tie him to a tree and let the monsters get him if he told anyone that she was in the armory, I believe. All he wanted was some cookies and now he’s scarred for life, which is hilarious. Then we go to ants coming through his window and converging on a cookie that he hasn’t eaten, which I actually liked a lot because it signifies the walkers coming through the walls at Alexandria. Some fake-deep shit, but but it gets the point across.

-The first segment starts with the tower falling and the walkers starting to come through, and it is basically a look at everyone trying to get away. Ron is about to shoot Carl, but realizes they have bigger problems. Rick is yelling at everyone, which is no surprise. Deanna steps up to help Rick because she has her second wind now. Morgan and Carol are running away and in a very unlike-Carol thing, she trips over nothing like Blond White Girl #2 in a horror movie. Morgan helps her up as they get back to his place, while Deanna also falls, but Rick saves her. Maggie also can’t stand up and shoutout to Holly for texting me, “My favorite part is when the walkers first broke through, and everyone from the original crew was falling down like weeble wobbles”. But Maggie shoots her way to a ladder and of course, she gets away. She also looks up in the sky and sees Glenn’s balloons again.

-Eugene is hiding around the corner and he hears Daryl say “hello” on Rick’s dropped radio, but he is standing there with a machete and freezes when approached by walkers, and has to get saved by Rosita and Tara, and they run into a garage. I know Eugene is a punk, but at this point, bruh? COME ON. SACK UP. After lying about being a scientist, the least you can do is not be a bitch. He’s fighting with Father Bitchass and Ron for the top spot on my “Mufuckas Gotta Die” list. Meanwhile, Rick, Deanna, Jessie, Michonne, Father Bitchass, Carl and Ron run into Jessie’s house, and shoutout to Deanna pointing out walkers to Rick like a running back pointing out blockers to his offensive line. COMICAL.

-Glenn and Enid are watching the walkers invade Alexandria, and Glenn is tryna think of a way to get in to help, but Enid is being sour as she tends to do. She says some bullshit about letting the world die and Glenn is like, fuck all that. Glenn is starting to get a little annoying, and it’s not even his fault. Like Maggie, he is the victim of shitty writing, which is terrible because I really like both of them. Oh well, I guess.

-Sam opens his door to see everything happening, as Rick takes a bleeding Deanna into a room so they can assess the situation, and everything is chaotic. Jessie sees a traumatized Sam and tells him to pretend to be brave. So what does Sam do? He closes the door and man, let me tell you something: I laughed for like 15 minutes straight. All I pictured was the Homer Simpson GIF where he backs into the bushes. I had to pause and rewind I was laughing so hard. I’m laughing about it again. That might be the single-funniest thing I’ve seen on TV all year. Shit. I got tears in my eyes again.

-Morgan and Carol are hangin’ out and he thinks she is concussed, but Carol ain’t tryna hear it. Denise is downstairs with Morgan’s Wolf friend, who Holly said looked like Skeet Ulrich on a meth binge (and she’s not wrong). He is tryna convince her to untie him, but Denise ain’t fallin’ for it. She’s gon’ get killed, b. This seems like one of the worst plans in the history of The Walking Dead, a show well-known for terrible plans. He shows her his wound and she takes out an IV. Because he deserves to use up their medicine.

-Speaking of wounds, we see Deanna’s and Michonne realizes that she has been bitten, which happened when she fell earlier. The camera pans around at Rick and then to Deanna, who says, “Well……..shit”. Perfect. This has to be a top-three most humorous TWD episode of all time.

-Rick’s new plan is to get to the armory to get some flares so he can draw the walkers away, and Jessie is like, whatever you think, bruh. Meanwhile, Michonne is with Deanna and tells her that she thinks her Alexandria expansion will work, but Deanna is more interested in asking Michonne what she really wants out of life. I tuned out at some point because Deanna about to die and I don’t care.

-Now here we go: Carl goes to the garage, where Ron is being all sad and thinking they’re gon’ die and Enid is dead and that Rick is a killer and gets people killed, including his father. Carl replies with, aye, your dad also killed someone, and Ron is like, touche. Didn’t think that through, did you, fuckboy? Anyway, he pulls out his gun and Carl is like, if you pull it out, you better use it, and the two get to fighting. Ron swings a shovel at Carl and breaks a window, which draws walkers to the house. Rick and Jessie run down and Rick breaks down the door to save the boys, and he asks Carl what’s up; Carl lies and said they were making noise tryna keep the walkers away, and Rick is like, WHY YOU LYIN’, BRUH. Ron stutters and is like, uh, yeah, that’s what happened, and goes upstairs.

-Carl runs up on Ron like, the fuck are you doin’ and pulls the gun on him, and Ron tries to apologize, but Carl is like, yeah I know, bitch, gimme your fuckin’ gun. He gets Ron’s gun and says, look, I know my dad killed your dad and you’re salty, but your dad was an asshole, and again, the laughs start rollin’. On the low, Carl’s come-up from being an annoying kid to a teenager who knows what’s up in the zombie apocalypse has been pretty good. I know we all hated him as a kid. Shoutout to Chandler Riggs. Now we just need Enid to make a man out of him and we’re good.

Fear The Walking Dead: Flight 462. Ol’ boy is dead on the ground and the U.S.Marshal won’t let the Asian lady who be knowin’ get close to him. He is dead…..and he reanimates with those eyes. YUP. That was more dramatic than any single thing in this episode.

-Judith starts crying upstairs as the crew surveys the scene outside, because you should leave a baby alone at times like these. Rick goes upstairs and sees Deanna kneeling over Judith, and he thinks she’s gone full zombie on her, and is really ready to chop her head off before Deanna is like, AYE YO I’M NOT A ZOMBIE YET SHIT DON’T KILL ME. Again, more comedy. He takes Deanna back to her room, and she gives him notes for Spencer and Maggie, and asks Rick to watch Spencer like he is one of his people. Then she tells him that they’re all his people, which was the right answer to her question last week about why he saved Spencer. Man, these BEEN Rick’s people, they just don’t know it yet.

-Eugene, Tara and Rosita are still in their garage, tryna think about what they can do since there are a thousand walkers out there. Eugene is reading a history book, but he has a paper clip or something, which he can use to pick the lock to get out of the garage and into the house. Good for you. You can pick locks. Useless motherfucker.

-The lock he is picking is to get into Morgan’s, where he is tryna convince Carol that the Wolf doesn’t need to die and Carol ain’t buying it. Meanwhile, walkers are really putting the boots to Jessie’s place and cause the group to run upstairs, where the walkers are stopped on the steps by a couch. Sure, why not?

-Carol goes downstairs and tells Denise to get away from the Wolf, holding a knife to her, and Morgan gets in the middle of it. At Jessie’s, Rick realizes that they have to get outta there. I don’t know where they managed to get walkers from, but they come up with the plan to drench themselves in walker guts so they can get out of the house, and Father Bitchass, Jessie and Ron are like, mufucka what? But Rick and Michonne are like, we’ve done it before and really, what other choice do they have?

-Seriously though……where did they get those walkers?

-Morgan and Carol are arguing about what needs to be done and they get to fighting, and Carol, God love her, is keeping up with Morgan….until he powerslams her and that is the end of that. But then the Wolf has gotten free, and knocks Morgan out with his own damn staff, of course. Back at Jessie’s, Michonne tells Deanna that she will kill her before she turns and Deanna is like, nah, I got a gun, I’ll do it when I’m ready. She’s lookin’ mighty deathly anyway. Jessie is tryna convince Sam that this is the move and he isn’t getting it, but eventually says he’ll pretend and he is about to get at least two people killed. Goddamn, Carol fucked his head up hahahahahaha

-The crew get ready to head out, and Father Bitchass tries to persuade Rick that he’s ready for this and back out, and Rick is like, whatever man, I hope you die anyway.

-Denise pleads with the Wolf not to kill Morgan and Carol, but then Tara, Eugene and Rosita run up on them and the Wolf takes Denise hostage before they just wander outside…..do they not know that there are thousands of walkers out there? Whatever, man. Whatever.

-Rick gives Judith to Carl, who puts her under his guts-soaked poncho and the crew heads out into the herd, holding hands. Meanwhile, Glenn climbs a tree and sees Maggie. Deanna is about to kill herself, but decides to go out into the herd, where she thinks she’ll die in a blaze of glory. However, we don’t see it, but I bet they ate the shit outta her.

-After the credits, which I didn’t see until yesterday, we see Sasha, Abe and Daryl driving a truck down the road, and they’re stopped by some dudes with guns on motorcycles. I missed the part where they even got back together, but man, there’s a lot of fuckery going on in this show. Anyway, the bikers tell them give up all their shit and Daryl asks why, and the main biker says that all their shit belongs to Negan now. I stopped reading the comics before he came around, so don’t tell me who he is because I don’t care and I’ll figure it out when it comes back in February; Valentine’s Day, to be exact. And I heard that some comic readers are mad about how they introduced Negan, it’s different from the comics. If you haven’t figured out that the show is different from the comics after 5 1/2 seasons, I don’t know what to tell ya, bruh. Why are you even still watching?

Season 6 of The Walking Dead started out with a bang, and then kinda went downhill for the final three episodes: this joint, the Daryl/Sasha/Abe joint and Glenn’s return. I get what they were tryna do with this episode, but the execution was terrible and it turned out to be absolutely hilarious, which is something. But now we have to wait until February to see how Glenn gets back to Maggie, how many people Sam gets killed, who or what Negan is (again, don’t tell me), and how the Wolf and Denise get through this herd of walkers without getting killed. If nothing else, The Walking Dead is entertaining, and I’ve always said that. It’s just not very good a lot of the time, and that’s fine.

The Walking Dead S06E02 – JSS

After a solid premiere to Season 6, The Walking Dead continues with “JSS”, and AMC really could have just done a two-part joint with this, but I guess they need to stretch shit out. This episode basically went as I expected, but better, if that makes sense. Maybe it will in about 2,000-plus words. Let’s go…..

-We open with Enid, Carl’s little crush, before the outbreak with her parents, who are trying to fix a fuse or something, but some walkers are coming. Enid tries to tell them and they’re like, oh, we’ll be a minute. Next thing you know, Enid is watching her parents as a buffet. Probably tried to ask the walkers if they had AAA or some shit. So this first scene alone explains why Enid is a little messed up. She’s walking the roads, just tryna survive out here now and she stays writing “JSS” on car windows, on the ground, everywhere. So she finds a turtle, and she devours it like the walkers did to her parents, and she uses its bones to write “JSS” again, so this gotta mean something. It’s also the name of the episode, so yeah…..it’s obvious, right? Anyway, she finds Alexandria and she wants to keep walking, but she looks at the “JSS” on her arm (maybe her hand) and is like, fuck it, can’t be worse than it is out here. She’s not wrong.

-Carol is in the pantry with a few ladies, including Mrs. Neudermeyer, who is still complaining about a damn pasta maker, which really shows you how naive this group is. Carol says she’ll show her how to make pasta herself, but she has to stop smoking in her house because it’s gross. Carol is so good, bruh. Just lookin’ around like, I could kill all of you with my bare hands, not, pasta. Then she walks past Sam, who you remember from Carol threatening to tie him up and let the walkers get at him last season, and she tells him that his dad was an asshole, he deserved to die and to suck it up. Carol isn’t here to make you feel good, kid. She might make you some cookies if you stop being a punk.

-Speaking of punks, Jessie calls Ron down for a haircut because she wants to talk to him, but he sees through her plan and blames her for Pete dying, and letting Rick do it. Jessie is like, lift your arm…..but you can’t because your father beat you and was an asshole. He storms out because he knows she’s right. I get why he is mad and all, but yo…..Moms is right. Moms is ALWAYS right. Even when she’s wrong, she is ALWAYS right.

-Maggie is with Deanna, talking about making a garden and man, Deanna looks worn down (as was pointed out to me by Holly, who you might remember from the Big Brother Canada recaps), but she has been through a lot in the last….um, I don’t even know how long it has been, but I would guess a couple weeks? The timeline on this show has always been sketchy at best. Anyway, Maggie tries to get her going and she is the perfect person for this job because she lost Herschel and Beth (even though she didn’t care about Beth until she died…but that’s cool).

-Eugene and Tara meet Denise, the new surgeon, who is tryna study up on, you know, how to be a surgeon as she went to school for psychology. Eugene says something snarky like, are you sure you can do this? Bitch, you pretended to be a scientist AND you’re a coward, which you admit to in this episode and have numerous times. Yo…….shut the fuck up.

-And speaking of shutting the fuck, Father Bitchass rolls up on Carl, who sees Enid with Ron and immediately gets salty, so he gotta fight Ron at some point for a buncha different reasons. Father Bitchass wants Carl to teach him how to fight, basically, and he knows Carl is skeptical because he tried to snitch on the group. Carl is only half paying attention to him because he is focused on Enid and Ron and like, fine, bitch, I’ll teach you how to use this machete later, come by the crib. Shoutout to Holly, who texted me that Carl looked like a member of Fall Out Boy. Yo, Jessie cuts hair, Rick….use that mop to get back in her good graces. Not even good graces, she ain’t even mad you killed Pete.

-Carol is looking out the window at Mrs. Neudermeyer, who is smoking outside like Carol suggested, but out of nowhere, a dude with a machete slashes the shit outta her and Killa Carol springs into action. Them Wolves here!!!!!!

-Maggie and Deanna see a couple of the Wolves scaling the wall and Maggie also jumps into action because she is ’bout that life, while Deanna is not and is looking stunned. Carol goes to her house to tell Carl, who already has an assault rifle out, to stay and protect Judith. Jessie is getting begged by Sam not to go out and look for Ron because really, fuck Ron, but she hears something downstairs and the two of them go into a closet and latch it from the inside. Oh, and she has a gun now.

-Enid goes into Carl like there isn’t a damn riot going on outside, and she wants to say goodbye, but Carl won’t let her leave. So they sit back to back in the kitchen and Carl is on that “kill ’em all” shit. Then he says to Enid, don’t say goodbye and she’s like, I won’t, which means she’s just pretty peacin’ out. He asked for it.

-A few things are happening at once. The Wolves are just crushing the Alexandrians, slaughtering everyone. Carol is runnin’ through the place and she stabs one of them in the back and head, but has to kill Erin (apparently, not important) to keep her quiet, but she has been slashed in the stomach. Spencer is up in the sniper tower, being a terrible shot, and an 18-wheeler rams into the wall. This causes the horn to blow, which is what we heard at the end of “First Time Again“. The door to the tower has also been blocked and he can’t get out, so shit ain’t lookin’ good for the dude.

-Some Holly girl gets brought into the makeshift surgery room, which means it’s go time for Denise, while Tara watches out for shit. Spencer gets out of the tower and makes it to the truck, where a walker is blocking the horn. He freezes and Morgan has to come from behind with the bow staff. Morgan asks Spencer if he’s comin’, and Spencer can’t even respond, so Morgan is like, hide. Then Morgan runs up on some big-ass Wolf, and they get ready to fight, but Killa Carol comes from behind, dressed like one of the Wolves and stabs dude in the sternum. Morgan tells Carol that he coulda stopped the Wolf without killing him, but Carol ain’t got time for that shit, and like, of course we do. And she says that the Wolves don’t have guns, but the fact that they’re comin’ in on some butcher shit, Morgan, seriously, bruh, there is no time for playin’ Kumbaya.

-Maggie and Deanna meet Spencer at the truck, and Deanna reasons that she shouldn’t go inside, she doesn’t have a gun and she doesn’t know how to fight….all fair and true points. But Spencer isn’t going anywhere, so she leaves Deanna with her son because like Deanna says, she’s just be another person that needed saving and Maggie is like, you ain’t lyin’. Meanwhile, Denise, who had said she had panic attacks in university, starts to have one and Tara tries to talk her down into saving Holly. She does, but it probably still don’t end well.

-Ron is being chased by a Wolf and Carl steps in, eventually shooting the Wolf and he tries to get the kid in the house, but Ron sees Enid there and refuses to go in. Good. Fuck ’em then. Carl tried to be a nice guy, but pride is a mufucka. He gets to his house and Jessie hears him, and runs down into a female Wolf. They fight, Jessie somehow wins and starts going to town on the Wolf, with a few unnecessary stabs that I approve of. But Ron sees her and things get weird because he doesn’t get how real this is yet. That’s twice now in like, five minutes that dude needed saving.

-Morgan has to save Father Bitchass from a Wolf while Carol goes to the armory to load up with these guns. She finds Olivia, terrified, grabs some guns, teaches Olivia briefly how to shoot a gun and tells her to shoot anyone that comes in the room. Oh, nothing good is gon’ come outta this.

-Morgan and Father Bitchass are tying up a Wolf, and things are going good and BAM, Carol walks up and shoots dude in the head and starts handin’ out guns like BITCH WE GOIN’ TO WAR. Morgan looks at her like, you are fuckin’ CRAZY. He gives his gun to Gabriel (who now has two guns), who will end up a sniper, I bet just to make me mad, while Carol grabs Maggie and is like, we got these guns. Damn, I love Carol. I never thought she would be my favorite character.

-Rosita and Aaron kill some Wolves to let you know they’re still alive, while Morgan ends up in the middle of a group of Wolves, led by the one that he let live when he made his return in Season 5. After kickin’ all of their asses, Morgan talks to that dude and the Wolves leave, but one of them takes a gun. Carol has a moment of over the body of Mrs. Neudermeyer, which is fair….Carol has done a lot of killing today, she deserves to have a small breakdown before getting on with the show. Aaron is walking down the street and after killing a Wolf, he finds his bag, which he left back when he and Daryl escaped the Wolves at the end of last season. They found the place because of Aaron’s pictures, so he’ll feel guilty about that now. Holly dies on the table, but it was all about Denise getting over her nerves, so she’ll do better next time. Tara does remind her to destroy Holly’s brain so it doesn’t reanimate, so Denise is gettin’ a crash course in this shit.

-Maggie and Deanna roll up on a burnt walker and Maggie stabs it in the head, and turns to Deanna like, no big deal, we’re good. Deanna is like, nah, but to Maggie, she knows this is just what you have to do to survive in the world of The Walking Dead. Sometimes, mufuckas gotta be killed. Just the way it goes.

-Carl finds a goodbye note from Enid, and we learn that “JSS” means “Just Survive Somehow”. That’s some basic shit. But she’s gone, so I guess that is that. That was abrupt. Carl and Ron still gotta fight, tho.

-Morgan has another fight scene and yo, Lennie James is puttin’ serious work in this episode, just brawlin’ with everyone, and he finds the other Wolf he let live in a house. They fight before they figure out who the other is, and Morgan beats him to a pulp, but doesn’t kill him, I don’t think. At the end of the episode, Morgan and Carol pass each other down the street, neither saying a word. Who knew that Morgan and Carol would end up being a thing this season? I guess, Carol is on the “kill ’em all” train in the Ricktatorship, shoot, she was the first to get it poppin’ when she killed Karen and the other dude at the prison, which set Tyrese off. So now, Carol will wait for Rick to get back and be like, yo, we might gotta take care of Morgan.

So that will be next week’s episode of The Walking Dead, Rick and ’em tryna get back to Alexandria, and I think they’re a good distance away, so they’ll have to kill their way through like, thousands of zombies to beat ’em there. That should be good. Big thumbs up to “JSS”. Got to see Enid’s backstory, but now she’s gone, apparently. Carol and Morgan were beasts, although I could have sworn that Morgan was with Rick and Michonne, how did he get back so quickly? A lot of killing without barely any walkers, so they’ll make up for that next week. Good stuff by director Jessica Lynch, who directed “Spend” from last season, the episode where Noah died. She’s great with action sequences, so hopefully we’ll see more of her this season on The Walking Dead.

The Walking Dead S06E01 – First Time Again

The Walking Dead returned for its sixth season on Sunday night with “First Time Again”, and the prevailing feeling I have about it as I write is that as much as I liked Fear The Walking Dead, and it was all fine and good, I’ll take the original, please and thank you. Not that I’m surprised, but this episode is why we’ve all continued to watch it, right? Let’s go………

-We open up at a rocky quarry and it’s funny, because I was talking to someone and was like, I wonder if we’ll see many zombies tonight? I wouldn’t have been surprised in the slightest if there was none in the episode. After a quick shot going back to when Rick killed Pete, in the quarry in present time, you have Rick standing in front of ALL OF THE ZOMBIES. Like, hundreds or thousands of them. Off in the distance, a truck that was keeping the herd at bay collapses into the quarry and Rick yells, “WE HAVE TO DO THIS NOW”, and some bitch-ass dude named Carter who we’ve never seen before tries to plead with Rick, saying that they’re not ready. Here is the thing: it doesn’t matter if you’re ready. Whatever plan they’re tryna put into place, the fact is, the walkers are coming, so you better get your ass ready. Rick says as much and this Carter dude is gon’ be a problem. We never saw him in Season 5, but he helped Reg (Deanna’s late husband) build the wall. The wall that might have been backwards, but that is neither here nor there, I guess.

-While this is going on, Glenn is with Nicholas, the dude that tried to kill him multiple times last season, but Glenn let him live, and that’s why Glenn will eventually die. Nicholas is apparently on board with everything Glenn says, but I don’t believe him and I don’t think Glenn does, either.

-Also, it’s good to see AMC sinking more money into TWD. The walkers look better, the shot of the thousands of walkers from the top of the quarry was awesome…..good for them. All their other shows are about to eat, too. To use a sports analogy, TWD is the football program at, say, the University of Georgia. It brings in all of the money, and then their little swimming and tennis programs get to survive. I could go deeper into this, but y’all don’t care.

-This episode goes back and forth between the present and the past, and the past is in black and white, so in this flashback, we have Gabriel (FATHER BITCHASS BACK) walking up on Deanna, who is sitting in a pool of what we can assume is Reg’s blood after Pete killed him. Deanna says to Gabriel that he was wrong, probably for being a snitch-ass mufucka. You know what? We’re going back to Father Bitchass. He doesn’t deserve his name to be spoken. He’d still be on that rock if it wasn’t for Rick and ’em.

-Abe is carrying a body that we know is Reg’s as they show his wedding ring, and Abe is on the booze with 2Pac’s “Pour Out A Little Liquor” as his soundtrack, pouring his booze on the body. Jessie, ol’ girl that Rick was tryna get it poppin’ with before he killed her abusive husband, is tryna comfort her sons and the oldest, Ron, is being an asshole because like father, like son. Rosita and Tara are in a makeshift hospital, I guess, and I had to look it up because I forgot what happened to Tara. She got hurt during a supply run. I honestly do not remember this happening. Glenn and Nicholas come in, too, so this must be shortly after Glenn didn’t kill him. Eugene comes in too, and Tara says something about his hair. Eugene might be bringing mullets back. I’m scared.

-Carl sits down next to the little girl he was chasing last season, Enid, and I didn’t catch this on the first watch, but in the background, you see Ron in the background, being a hater. I bet he was tryna holla at Enid before Carl came along, and then Rick killed his father? Yeah, Ron ’bout to be a problem for the Grimes family.

-Rick, Morgan and Daryl, still in the past, are in a house and Morgan tells Rick that he was right, it wasn’t over, so I’m assuming that goes back a couple seasons to when they last saw each other. Rick then tells Morgan that he doesn’t take chances anymore before it cuts to Abe, drinking again, and he has Reg’s wedding ring. Shouldn’t he give that to Deanna? Then he flashes a peace sign at Sasha, who finally relents and gives him one back, but she’s lookin’ at him like, this mufucka drunk AGAIN. Abe tryna get it poppin’, tho. I ain’t mad at him. Rosita might be, tho.

-In the past, Abe and Sasha are driving down a road, while a buncha people are also running and Rick is relaying the plan via radio to everyone that was one. So the plan is to try and lead the herd away from Alexandria as far as possible, I guess. Rick tells them to keep their heads….I have written down, “one of the new people ’bout to die”. Keep that in mind.

-Daryl is on his bike in the present and it flashes back to the past, where Rick and Daryl are talking about what happened with Daryl and Aaron with the trucks and the walker with the “W” on her forehead. Daryl seems to be a little skeptical of Rick’s takeover plan, but he’ll stay down for the cause….I think.

-In the present, Sasha and Abe get to a checkpoint and Rick says, here comes a parade. Back to the past, Rick walks into a house where they have Morgan locked up on some Akon shit, and that must be what Rick meant when he said he didn’t take chances anymore. He might have been right because Morgan is gettin’ his Donatello on with his bow staff. Remember, Morgan just met back up with Rick again as he was killing Pete, so Morgan is a little wary of the new Rick. I’ve been saying that the first half of Season 6 is gon’ be Rick vs. Morgan.

-Eugene is at the gate patrolling when a car rolls up, and two dudes and a girl get out of the car. Eugene lets them in after some small-talk, and he says something to one of the brothas, Heath, who has braids, that he respects his hair game. Heath looks at him like, this mufucka tho? That face was good.

-Rick and Morgan walk up to find Father Bitchass and Tobin tryna bury Pete’s body, and Rick isn’t havin’ it. Then Deanna walks up and was like, nah, get his ass outside the safe zone, and all the while, Ron is watching as well. He gotta go. In the present, Rick, Morgan and Michonne get to their checkpoint, and Morgan starts grillin’ Michonne about a missing protein bar. Morgan better watch out.

-Oh, can we get someone with nunchuks and a pair of sais to complete the Ninja Turtle set? Come on, why not? WE NEED THESE JOKES.

-Rick and Morgan are burying Pete and Ron has followed them, but they don’t know that. Rick just wants to bury him, but Morgan says that isn’t who Rick is. Since they last saw each other, Rick has lost his wife and seen the Governor….shit done changed, bruh. That is when Rick hears something and they discover the quarry full of walkers and really, if it wasn’t for a couple of 18-wheelers, the herd would have been at Alexandria already. Then they hear Ron running through the woods, being chased by walkers, and they save his dumb ass, but he’s still tryna be a smart ass with Rick, who shoulda dropkicked his ass in the quarry. I guess, he’s still hurt about Rick killing his father, but your father was an asshole. Be there for your moms and stop being a bitch. Also, in the next scene, he looks at Rick like he’s gon’ do something. Man, sit your ass down somewhere. Anyway, he ends up burying Pete, who didn’t deserve a burial.

-In the present, Daryl is the pied piper of the walkers, leading the giant herd down the road, where he meets up with Abe and Sasha. Again, good use of money, AMC. Glenn, Nicholas and Heath are at a store, coming up with a plan and Glenn has the best line of the episode as Heath is like, “this was supposed to be a dress rehearsal”, of the plan that Rick came up with. Glenn looks at him like, “I was supposed to be delivering pizzas, man”. The Alexandria people are basically everyone in Fear The Walking Dead in that they’re not ready for this, but Glenn knows that you don’t get a choice in whether you’re ready for it or not. You gotta be ready, or you die. It’s really that simple. That’s why a buncha Alexandria people are probably gon’ die, and they’ll probably take Glenn with ’em because he’s too good for this show.

-In the past, they’re having a town-hall meeting where Rick tells them about the quarry herd and how they’re gon’ put this plan into action. Carter is fighting it because basically, he’s scared. We also see Killa Carol for the first time, and I’m psyched about it. Carter says they can do this without confronting the walkers, and Good Lord, I hate him I hate him I hate him. The actor just has this worried look on his face the entire time.

-Daryl, Abe and Sasha lead the herd to Rick, Morgan and Michonne, who are behind a wall, and that’s the plan: use noise to get the herd to follow them as far away as possible. In the past, they’re going over the blueprints for the plan and Carter is still tryna say it won’t work, but Deanna basically says, you’re either in or out, take your pick, and like the punk he is, he agrees to get in. I don’t even know why they need him. Your first round of walls were trash. Second time is a charm, I guess.

-In the past, they’re constructing said walls, Daryl is still being skeptical and Carol walks up to Rick with a glass of something. Carol is Rick’s liasion with the people of Alexandria, and she says that everyone thinks Deanna is in charge, but really, it’s Rick. Morgan introduces himself to Carol and says that she’s all watching and ready to handle shit….oh, he’ll learn about that soon enough.

-Glenn, Nicholas and Heath are getting ready to put their plan into action, and then back in the past, Maggie tells Tara about what Nicholas did to Glenn. Tara is ready to let the choppa sing, but Maggie says some shit about them being on opposite sides when Herschel was killed, but now they’re cool. Glenn’s threesome is still in play, even though he keeps tryna not make it happen. You ain’t got much time left, dogg.

-Glenn and his crew start takin’ out the walkers, and Nicholas almost gets himself killed because Glenn doesn’t trust him to do anything, but he steps up to help and Glenn lets him kill the last one. I still don’t trust this mufucka.

-Abe and Sasha are driving along, Abe notices something in the woods and jumps out of the car, and really, their whole interaction isn’t important except for one part. Abe asks Sasha if she took this part of the mission because she wants to die, because last time we saw her, she was on a suicide mission. But she seems to be okay now, and I think it’s Abe that wants to die. Abe might have jumped Glenn in my “Death List” power rankings, which is currently Abe, Glenn, Rosita, Carol and Morgan.

-In the past, Rick gives his condolences to Deanna and says she made the right call to let him kill Pete, when two walkers roll up behind Carter, and yo, there is like, maybe four or five walkers at most by the end of it, while Carter has like seven people. All them bitches freeze, yo, and Rick and ’em gotta clean it up because Carter is a punk. HOLY SHIT. PLEASE KILL THIS DUDE.

-I watched this commercial for Fear The Walking Dead: Flight 462. This might be getting a bit much. AMC might mess around and turn into 47 versions of The Walking Dead.

-In the past, Eugene is getting supplies when he overhears Carter in the other room, plotting to kill Rick, but Tobin and ’em are like, nah. Poor Eugene can’t get out of his own way and drops a jar, and Carter hears him and puts a gun on him, but we all know he won’t do it. Mufucka can’t kill a walker, and he’s gon’ kill a real person? Fuck outta here. Anyway, Rick, Morgan and Daryl walk up and Rick is like, the fuck is goin’ on? He takes the gun from Carter as easily as you’d like, puts it on him and is like, y’all want war with the gawd of these here streets? Carter surely pissed himself. Daryl and Morgan are in the background like, good grief, and Daryl tells Rick to calm down. Rick is like, cool, gives him the gun, and he really should have at least punched Carter in the face.

-Back in the present, the plan is going swimmingly and Carter finally acknowledges that Rick was right and shakes his hand, and I immediately perk up because I’m like, this mufucka ’bout to DIE. He even goes off by himself ahead of the pack, where he gets grabbed by a walker who bites him square in the face, and I might have cheered. Of course, Rick kills the walker, but Carter won’t shut the fuck up, which is drawing the herd away from the road and ruining the plan, so Rick kills him and Morgan be frownin’ like shit, Michonne too. But yo, Carter was bitten, he had to go. There was really nothing else Rick could do. He woulda turned anyway.

-In the middle of this, we flash back to Rick, who is holding Judith, and he lets Morgan get his shit and bring it over to the house. They have a moment about knowing each other, and they do, but they don’t. Rick tells Morgan that he wanted to kill Carter because he’s weak and people like that can’t survive out here in these streets, and he’s completely right. Of course, that’s what makes Morgan frown at him when he eventually kills Carter, but HE GOT BIT IN THE FACE, BRUH. Mufuckas still ain’t learned. Morgan and Michonne look like they’re plottin’ too. During the speech to Morgan, I was lookin’ at Andrew Lincoln like, he might be a better actor than I give him credit for, or maybe it’s just that he is the perfect role for him.

-Rick gets supplies from Jessie and tries to talk to her, but she’s not really in the mood, even though she knows Rick was right in what he did. She also tells him that Ron ain’t tryna hear what he is saying because he’s the man that killed his father. This just came to me: I wonder if Ron tries to go after Carl to get back at Rick? He wouldn’t go after Judith because I think for all the shit we see on this show, they won’t kill Judith. Jessie also says she is now learning how to shoot a gun, which can’t end well.

-Finally, the herd is going along and the plan is for Abe, Sasha and Daryl to lead them about 20 more miles down the road. Then they hear a loud horn, which of course, perks up the walkers and they realize that it’s coming from towards Alexandria. My first thought? DEM WOLVES ARE HERE. We know they have loudspeakers because that is how they attract the walkers back into the containers where Daryl and Aaron were. And I bet they were watching the place the entire time, waiting until Rick and ’em weren’t there, and they rolled up on Alexandria, took that shit hostage (because who is gon’ stop ’em? Killa Carol and Maggie are the only real ones left back there) and are leading the herd back to the spot.

That was an excellent start to Season 6 of The Walking Dead. It set up the first half of the season personally, the Rick/Morgan situation, the Glenn/Nicholas situation, Carter died brutally, Ron is about to be a little bitch and the potential for the Wolves to step in and be like, y’all need to worry about us now. At this point, six seasons in, The Walking Dead is what it is. Like the Ricktatorship, either get down or lay down.

The Walking Dead S05E16 – Conquer

The Walking Dead brought Season 5 to a close with “Conquer”, a title that didn’t seem to fit on first glance. But it wasn’t what you would have expected of Rick and the group, and it encapsulated everything that was good (and bad) about a damn good fifth season. Let’s go….

-We open with the homie Morgan, which was one of my big questions going into the episode because we hadn’t seen him since the finale of Season 5A, “Coda“. He’s sleeping in the back of a car, which seems dangerous because what if a horde of walkers surround you in your sleep, but I forgot who we’re talkin’ about. He gets out of the car and is chillin’, tryna have his morning coffee like a civilized person when he is approached by someone with a gun and a “W” on his forehead. So we find out the Wolves are a group that goes around reclaiming the territory, basically killing them off, which is something we kinda figured out, so he tells Morgan he is takin’ all his shit and Morgan is about to die, then he is joined by another wolf. The two try to take Morgan, who goes all black Donatello on them with a bow staff, and fucks their entire life up. He then realizes that dude ran up on him with an empty gun, which had to be a piss-off, so he kills a walker, puts the wolves in the car he was sleeping in and beeps the horn to attract more walkers before taking a rabbit’s foot that was hanging from the mirror. That was one of the best cold opens of the season. Also, as per the black Donatello thing, I finally watched a bit of Talking Dead and Lennie James, who plays Morgan, said he trained with someone that worked on the Ninja Turtles movie, so there is that. I was pretty proud of that. And fuck y’all, the new TMNT movie was great.

-Rick wakes up in a room with Michonne, who tells him that Pete is in his own house and she reiterates that they just needed to be not out there anymore, which is fair. Then they’re joined by Glenn, Abe and Carol, who starts asking Rick about the stolen gun that she stole, and Rick is kinda lookin’ at her like, bitch, what? YOU TOOK IT FOR ME. But I think it was a matter of Carol tryna get him ready for Deanna’s interrogation and Carol is the brains behind the operation. Carol tells Rick to tell them what they wanna hear, which is what she has been doing since she got her and Michonne asks her why. Carol hits her with, “because these people are children and children like stories”. Apparently Deanna is having some sort of forum with the town to figure out what to do with Rick, who then comes up with a plan to take Deanna and company hostage if things go south. Actually, WHEN things go south because we know our group. Michonne says they can talk to each other, but Rick is like, yeah, with knives to their throats. Even Glenn is kinda wary of this, so it’ll be interesting to see if the group moves with Rick, well, everyone outside of Carol. We know she is down.

-Maggie is glaring at Father Bitchass through a window, then turns her attention to Deanna and Reg about the evening’s forum. Deanna isn’t really down to talk about it, which is fair because she has to be still grieving Aiden, but Reg tracks Maggie down and says some ol’ Kumbayah shit about everyone living together. Reg is too good for this world, and we know what happens to those people in The Walking Dead.

-Sasha continues to be crazy, wheeling dead walkers to a hole she dug because why not keep dead walkers around? They add a ton to the surroundings and I’m sure they smell great. Anyway, she kinda slips into the hole and says fuck it, lying down on the walkers. What a GD mess she is.

-Daryl and Aaron are still trackin’ someone or something, and Aaron, who is always talking, tells the story of the trio that was exiled from Alexandria. It was two men and a woman, and they were driven far away from the town. He can’t let that happen again, he says. So are these people now wolves? Was that the woman that was tied to a tree? Actually, never mind, Aaron would have known it was her, unless he’s shady and that wouldn’t surprise me at all.

-Carol visits Rick, who asks why she sold him out with Michonne with the guns earlier, and Carol has her reservations about Michonne, which is completely fair; she’s been acting kinda strange since they got to Alexandria, but that’s because she just wanted to stop running. Rick says he doesn’t want to take Alexandria, and he doesn’t wanna lie anymore. Carol just smiles at him and says, “awwww sunshine….you don’t get both”. KILLA CAROL IS SUCH A FUCKING G.

-Aaron and Daryl are following a dude in a red poncho, then we cut to Rick walking down the street. He says hello to three dudes who are lookin’ around like, could we even take him? Then he glares at Deanna or rather, they glare at each other. Meanwhile, Nicholas is plottin’ on Glenn from across the street, then Maggie comes out and tells Glenn she will try and talk to the entire town to get Rick out of this. Rick goes to his house and tells Carl he might have to threaten some mufuckas at the meeting, and even Carl is like, oh fuck, again? But Carl seems to be taking pity on this group; they don’t know what the streets are like nowadays. Besides, he needs like, a few more days to holla at Enid.

-Daryl and Aaron find a food warehouse about 50 miles away from Alexandria, so they get past a fence and a buncha walkers and this seems like such a terrible idea. Aaron finds an Alaskan license plate, because that shit is important. Daryl is lookin’ around like, something doesn’t seem right, but he tries to open a container, which starts a booby trap and walkers start coming from every direction. The chase is on and they’re trapped under a truck. Daryl kills three walkers at once with a chain, and Aaron slams one of their heads in a door as the two are trapped inside a car. Daryl says hey, maybe if we chill for a couple hours, someone will come. Then Aaron finds a note that says, “TRAP BAD PEOPLE COMING DON’T STAY” and it looks like the last three words are written in blood, so there goes that plan.

-Pete is wallowing, and Carol is knocking at the door. Carol brings over a tuna casserole and a knife, and threatens to kill Pete if he doesn’t come back to treat Tara, along with him just being a dickbag in general. The shot of Carol threatening Pete, who is at least eight inches taller than Carol, is fantastic, and she hits him with that “come at me bro”. Carol has a way of making everyone around her feel very small when she wants to, and it makes Pete freak out as he drops the dish on the ground, starts yelling that it isn’t his house and trashes the place.

-After talking to Maggie, Glenn saw Nicholas climb over the wall, which seems to be a common theme in Alexandria, and he follows him through the woods, but Nicholas shoots him in the shoulder. Nicholas ain’t truly about that life because he had a clean shot, but when he goes to find Glenn, there is no body. He has no idea who he is messin’ with.

-Rick goes to see Jessie because that sounds like a great idea, which she even admits, but Rick doesn’t care and she tells him he was right. Pete is looking through the window from across the street, so that’s gon’ happen.

-We’re back to Daryl and Aaron in the car, and Daryl admits that he fits in better in the open than back at the houses, which sounds about right. Daryl then comes up with a plan to draw the walkers to him while Aaron makes a run for it, and Aaron is like, fuck that, we’re doing this together. They get their shit up to make a run for it and then, BAM, Morgan comes outta nowhere and clears a path for them. They’re like, who the fuck are you, b? Aaron starts talkin’ like shit, tellin’ names and where they live and Daryl shoots him a look like, yo, shit the fuck up. But Morgan says he is on somewhere and hands Daryl the map that says, “The new world is gonna need Rick Grimes”. WE’RE ALMOST THERE.

-Father Bitchass went for a walk outside of the gates and finds a walker with a noose around his neck and says that he is ready, and I would love to see this walker win, but he seems to notice the person that the walker was eating is still alive, and he is even too much of a coward to die. He kills the walker and the dude who was a buffet for said walker, and he continues to cry and lie in the street. Fuck this dude, fuck his life, his friends, his family and everything that has to do with him.

-Abe goes to visit Tara and brings this little pitiful plant, but he sees Eugene and doesn’t wanna deal with a discussion that I figured they had a long time ago. They apologize for past indiscretions (Eugene lying, Abe for knocking him out), and yeah, that’s cool. I don’t care. Good for them. One of them is dying in the first couple episodes of Season 6.

-Gabriel comes back and Spencer, Deanna’s other son, wants to talk to him later on. But Father Bitchass, being the fuckboy he is, DOESN’T SHUT THE GATE ENTIRELY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??????????

-Nicholas is still tryna find Glenn, and you’d think he would just follow the trail of blood, but he’s an idiot. He gets distracted by a walker and Glenn jumps him and the two fight, and somehow, Glenn winds up with three walkers on him. Keep that in the back of your head for a minute.

-Michonne finds Rick before the meeting, and Rick tells her about the guns they stole, and they lied to Michonne because they weren’t sure of her. Michonne is like, y’all don’t think I’m down for the cause? She wants to do this non-violently, bu she says she is still with Rick and I’m down for this power couple of Rick and Michonne. Rickonne? Mick? I don’t know, I’ll figure something out before next season.

-We see someone unsheathing a sword, but no face. I think it is Rick, who looks out of the window and notices something. It is that the gate has been left open and something or someone got in. He springs into action and starts looking, while Father Bitchass gets back to his place and finds Sasha, who needs to talk to him about going crazy. This is being cut with the meeting, but they’re missing some people, a lot of people, actually. Rick is still chasing whatever got in through the gates, Nicholas and Glenn are still out in the woods, Father Bitchass and Sasha, Aaron and Daryl….but Deanna is tryna get this poppin’.

-Carol and Abe are talkin’ Rick up to the group and saying they need him, while Glenn comes outta nowhere and bops Nicholas over the head. Now, I wanna stop for a second. Glenn is badass and I have no question that he could have beaten those three walkers on top of him, but dogg, we need to see that because when we left him, I assumed that would be the end of that. That was probably my biggest problem with the episode; actually, second-biggest and both involve Glenn.

-Meanwhile, Rick is fighting off a walker and they’re on the ground, but it looks like he first puts his gun through its head, and then squeezes its head until it pops on some Game Of Thrones shit. Then it cuts to the red poncho guy, who is being walked up to the fence where the food trap was, and the two men with him slit his throat and say, welcome home. Interesting.

-Maggie takes over for Rick’s side, and says some shit about family, but Deanna is like, Father Bitchass told me y’all were on some bullshit. Jessie pushes back against her and she has to be a little pissed because Deanna was basially ready to sacrifice her because Pete is a doctor. Meanwhile, Glenn is still kickin’ Nicholas’ ass in the woods in the world’s longest fight scene, while Sasha has Father Bitchass on the ground with a gun pointed at him, which brings a happy tear to my eye. But then, we cut to the food trap and they have a remote system where there is music playing inside the containers, which draws the walkers back inside. These mufuckas, I’m assuming they’re the wolves, are pretty smart.

-The group are still talkin’ and someone, I think his name is Tobin, says something about keeping his family safe and if they gotta get rid of some people….just as Rick comes through with a dead walker over his shoulder. All he had to say after that was, THIS IS WHY Y’ALL MUFUCKAS NEED ME. Glenn still has a gun to Nicholas’ head and he is begging for his life, and Glenn is so much better than me because he doesn’t kill him. I woulda shot ol’ boy in his legs and left him there. That was my biggest problem with this episode, but I’m petty. Meanwhile, Maggie walks in on Sasha and stops her from shooting Father Bitchass, who says it was his fault that they all died, so I assume that is his congregation. Maggie feels sorry for him and helps him up. Maybe getting this off his chest will help be a better person next season? I hope so; I don’t know if I can do this anymore.

-Rick listens to Carl and Michonne and tells the people how it is, while there are cuts to scenes with Carl and Judith, and Glenn helping Nicholas back, Maggie/Father Bitchass/Sasha picking a great time for a prayer circle, Tara wakes up with Rosa and someone picking up a bag; the bag was Aaron’s, and the person picking it up was one of the two men that are controlling the walkers. All Rick is saying is that there are people and things out there that want to kill them and they have to strike first, and he was wondering how many of the Alexandria people he had to kill to make them see that, but he decided against it and that they had to change or else.

-Just then, Pete barges in with Michonne’s sword (so it was him unsheathing it earlier) and tries to go after Rick and Reg tries to intercept him, while Carol whispers, “do it now”. Pete slashes his throat and gets taken down by Abe while everyone gasps and Carol inside is hittin’ that Mr. Burns laugh like, holy shit this is working out SO WELL. Deanna is freaking out because now she has lost her husband, too, and says to Rick, ” do it”, and Rick shot Pete so fast. Then Aaron, Daryl and Morgan walk up like, what y’all doin’?

-After the credits, we see Michonne putting her sword on her back again, where it belongs, while we also see red poncho guy, who is now a walker, pass the car that Daryl and Aaron were inside of, and it says, “WOLVES NOT FAR” on the outside.

Well, alright then. The group managed to take over Alexandria, conquer, as it were, and this was similar to the way in which kinda took over the farm. They talked to the people running place and hey, a little blood had to get spilled, but it’s for the greater good and that is a huge overarching theme in The Walking Dead. You might not think you have to get your hands dirty in the zombie apocalypse, but you’re gon’ have to do it at some point, whether you’re the Alexandria people, or Father Bitchass. So, it looks like the wolves are building an army of walkers, while Rick is building an army of Alexandrians, so that shit ’bout to come to a head next season. And hey, Carl and Judith will have a new mommy, so that’s sorted.

Overall, it was a great ending to what I think has been the best season of the show since, shit, probably the first or second. I mean, I saw some people complaining about how many commercials there were, but AMC gotta eat and if you didn’t know how it would go down beforehand, you haven’t been watching TV very long. In particular, the second half was everything that is awesome about The Walking Dead and yeah, there were a couple of shaky parts, but come on, this shit ain’t exactly Mad Men or Breaking Bad, AMC’s two other flagship shows. By Season 5, you should know what you’re getting out of this show and they set a new rating record with this episode, so someone has to be doing something right. Anyway, I’m ready for Season 6. Until then, y’all. Thanks for rockin’ with me.