Tag Archives: Recaps

The Walking Dead S07E08 – Hearts Still Beating

The Walking Dead powered into its midseason break with “Hearts Still Beating”, and while the grammatical error in the title really bothers me (I’ll explain that later), it was everything that is great about TWD: it was cheesy, over the top, still had a little bit of heart, and it was a buncha Negan being a dick. Let’s go……..

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-We open with Maggie at Glenn’s grave, which I assume she does daily, and then she goes to the top of the gate at the Hilltop. Gregory has an apple and is almost like, do you want this, and Eduardo, who is also up there, is like, dude, she’s pregnant, so Gregory thinks he’s being a nice guy by giving her the apple. One, she’s pregnant, stop being a dick, and two, most importantly, pregnant or not, Maggie would stomp the muddiest of holes in Gregory’s ass. Did he spend an entire episode getting punked by everyone like, two weeks ago? If you don’t go sit your fake Herschel ass down somewhere.

-Daryl gets out of his cell because of that note that told him to go. Yay. Fuck.

-More importantly, Negan is at Rick’s house, taking a shave and telling One-Eyed Carl how to shave as well, cooking pasta in his house, lookin’ like that scene from “Goodfellas“, but without the cocaine. Olivia gets some lemonade from Tara, who says she’ll go inside and take over for Olivia, who told Rick she would watch Judith, and neither of them would be able to do anything, so that’s pointless.

-Then we have Rick and Aaron, who decide to go out to the houseboat in the canoe full of bulletholes, and I was like, OOOOOOOOOOH WHAT LEVEL OF FUCKERY IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN……well, the scene is stretched out, but basically, the canoe sinks because bulletholes, they have to fight off water walkers (which I figured would like, disintegrate in the water, but whatever man), Aaron sees one in the other canoe, falls the fuck over and is taken under, Rick freaks out, Aaron pops up, and I let out a good, hearty laugh. The best thing about The Walking Dead is when you can see the fuckery down the road, and you know it’s about to be some bullshit, but it’s just a matter of how they get to, and through, the bullshit. It was great. Anyway, they get to the canoe, while Negan is back at the house, tucking napkins in his shirt and shit, getting ready to chow down on a trough of spaghetti because that seems to be all they have at Alexandria (remember Aaron, Daryl and, um….Eric? I think that’s his boyfriend’s name).

-Spencer is tryna be nice to the Saviors, where some girl wants to holla at him and show him the compound later, aka her walls (not walls in a house, use your imagination). She also takes a moment to punk Eugene, who watches this flirtation go down because he’s a creep like that and he does like to watch.

-Meanwhile, Carol is tryna chill and read her book by a fire like a civilized human, and mufuckas won’t leave her alone, Morgan, King Zeke (who we don’t see in this episode and that’s some bullshit), and now Richard, apparently that is his name. He comes in and tries to persuade them to convince King Zeke to strike first against the Saviors, and Carol is like, I just wanna read my fuckin’ book and eat my produce, and we all know Morgan ain’t about that life. So, Richard goes to a shittily-hidden camper in the woods, throws a milk bottle and starts crying. So, here is my thing: why should I care about Richard? The Kingdom, even, for that matter? Spend a little more time on it and maybe, just maybe we would care. They could have honestly split up the Kingdom episode with the Tara episode at Ladyland, as my girl calls it. Because….anyway, more about the latter a bit later on because I have a guess about that. Richard does bring up a good point, though: the Saviors don’t really need a reason to go back on their deal. They run shit.

-Rick and Aaron are on the houseboat getting supplies, and they’re talking about this deal with the Saviors, which Michonne doesn’t think is living, but Aaron disagrees and says, “either your heart is beating or it isn’t”…..meanwhile, Michonne is still driving with this hostage Savior, and tries to talk to her because Michonne is losing her mind, and this woman just isn’t having it at all. OH, and back to Rick and Aaron, someone in mismatched boots is watching them through binoculars. Spooky.

-Oh, I almost forgot about Daryl and his great escape. He sneaks around, being all sneaky, then gets to Dwight’s room and eats ALL of the peanut butter with his dirty-ass finger. How does one eat that much peanut butter, that quickly, with one finger, and then not go to the bathroom right afterwards? And as he leaves, he smashes Dwight’s figurines, and they seemed to focus on one in particular, and I don’t know what the significance is. Maybe to show that Daryl is a badass? I bet he listens to Kid Rock. Goddammit, I hate this dude.

-At Hilltop, Maggie can smell apple pies through doors, but that’s believable because pregnancy hormones are no joke. Maggie wants to ask Jesus to get stuff, but Sasha says he left this morning. Maggie leaves and Enid is like, WHY YOU ALWAYS LYIN’. It’s because Sasha has a plan to go after Negan, because who doesn’t? I’d love to sit down and rank all of the plans because there are some real shitburgers in this pile.

-Father Bitchass and Rosita are at the church….and you know what…..GABRIEL tries to talk Rosita out of her shitty plan to kill Negan, maybe wait so everyone can work together. He has earned the right to finally be called by his real name. Lowkey, Young Gabe might be the MVP of the half-season (non-Negan division). Can’t wait for that to backfire in my face.

-Spencer is in the mirror, practicing how to say “Hi” and he looks like he’s on some Jack Handy shit (old SNL skit, do ya Googles). He tells Rosita that the plan is to get close to Negan and then strike, and Rosita says she used him before, but she’ll do dinner with him later because yo, people gotta bang, b. Meanwhile, Daryl finishes his great escape by bashing Fat Joey’s head in with a pipe, and Jesus walks in on it, so they steal a motorbike and leave. Negan gon’ kill everyone at that compound, b. He leaves and everyone stops giving all of the fucks. Everyone gon’ have irons on their faces.

-Michonne and the lady Savior drive to within distance of a gang of Saviors, like, hundreds of mufuckas and is basically like, bruh, you can’t win this fight, he is everywhere…..but I’m done with this shit, so you need to kill me and set this truck on fire. Which Michonne apparently does.

-Rick and Aaron get back to Alexandria to find Negan and ’em, and Aaron takes a massive ass-whipping because of some fuckass note they found on the houseboat that says “congrats for winning, but you still lose”. Thanks to Holly for this, but why did they even take the note back with them? How would they not know that would be some shit? Anyway, Aaron says that his heart is still beating, which is why the title bothers me. “heart’s” = “heart is”, not “hearts”. I don’t know why I would expect a show like this to care about that, but anyway.

-Spencer introduces himself to Negan, who wants to play pool, so they move a pool table out in the middle of the street. Spencer throws Rick under the bus, more or less implying that Rick got his mother killed and that he always fucks shit up (which isn’t all the way wrong), and that Spencer can be the new leader. Here is where you realized that he gotta die, because Negan says that Rick is swallowing his pride and his hate of Negan to get shit done, and that if Spencer wants Rick’s spot, go take it….but he won’t, because he doesn’t have the guts….and then he disembowels Spencer right on the street. In front of everyone, because everyone decided to come out and watch this game of pool. Shit looked like a Michael Jackson video.

-Rosita gets mad and pulls out the heat, but instead of shooting Negan, she shoots Lucille and Negan starts randomly cursing, sounding like Sterling Archer. One of the Saviors throws Rosita to the ground and cuts her face, while Negan wants to know who made this magic bullet. A couple people say they did it, but Negan knows they’re lying, so the female Savior, Arat is her name, she shoots Olivia. Tara then says she did it, but Eugene confesses and Negan is like, yeah, you look like a bullet-makin’ mufucka. So he takes Eugene with him when he leaves, and Rick stabs a reanimating Spencer in the head because fuck that guy.

-Michonne and Rick meet in the cells, and Michonne tells him that there are more Saviors than they thought, but they still have to fight. So they go to the Hilltop to see Maggie, and Jesus and Daryl are there, and it’s one big-ass Avengers reunion as they walk up to the house to discuss a plan. Daryl even gives Rick back his gun, which was on Fat Joey because that’s way too easy. Maggie better have kicked Daryl in the nuts at least three times, since he got back.

-I missed this, but after the credits, Young Gabe is being watched at the Alexandria gate by the person with the mismatched boots. I’m gon’ guess it’s someone from Ladyland? It better be. We don’t need any more new people.

-The one thing that I do like that they are rationing us with Negan, because I think if he were in every episode, it would be too much. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the MVP of this half-season and it isn’t even close because of how he straddles that line of being a cartoon and a downright fucking lunatic. But every episode and I think it would be too much. They just have to figure out to handle shit when he isn’t in the episode.

-Also, AMC: get your shit together and just make all the episode 90 minutes long. What else do you have to show? And if you’re gon’ have this many characters, you just might as well. I don’t wanna make any more Game Of Thrones comparisons, but let’s just say, you’re not Game Of Thrones. Take that extra advertising money and highstep down the sideline.

That was a solid ending to a typical half-season of The Walking Dead, which will return in February and likely do the same thing: be great for the first couple episodes, then be garbage, then end strong. Morgan and Carol will eventually come around and reach out to Rick because someone will hear something about Alexandria, which means King Zeke and Battlecat will be involved, Tara will holla at Ladyland, and yeah…..man, it is what it is by now with The Walking Dead. If they could just be consistent, the world would be a better place. The ratings are dropping, but they’re just now very good down from astronomical. It’ll be interesting to see if they try to improve in the second half of Season 7, I wouldn’t bet on it, but crazier things have happened and I’ma watch anyway. See y’all in February.

 

The Walking Dead S07E07 – Sing Me A Song

The Walking Dead has been hot garbage the last few weeks, basically since the second episode of Season 7, but of course, it picks up with “Sing Me A Song”, just in time for next week’s midseason finale because that’s what this show does. Let’s go…..

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-We open with Michonne walking down a road, where she finds the pile of burned mattresses, and then she kills two walkers that served as a nice callback to when we first met her, with her walkers on leashes. Meanwhile, Rick and Aaron, aka New Daryl, get out of a truck and see something down the road they’re on. Everyone stays tryna be Daryl on this show. Probably won’t work out for anyone but Daryl.

-A pair of Saviors are shooting the shit, waiting for some walkers to move out of their way, but we find Jesus and Carl in the back of their truck. Jesus jumps out of the truck while it’s moving, but Carl decides to stay because he’s a man and has to do this himself….also, he’s not that bright. Carl has large balls, no doubt, but his plan-making skills leave a lot to be desired.

-They get back to the spot and Carl eventually opens fire with a machine gun, killing one and asking for Negan. He shoots another one before Dwight tackles him, but Negan plays good cop….well, kinda….he offers Carl a hand and a tour, and Carl says no, but Negan says he’ll cut off Daryl’s arm if he doesn’t say yes. So kind of a good cop?

-There is some other stuff that happens in this episode, but really, the best part of the whole thing is Negan generally being a shit. He gets the entire factory to kneel to him and Carl is lookin’ at these people like they’re all pusses, then he takes Carl to meet his wives, like, a bunch of them. But here, Negan is smart because what is the best way you’re gon’ soften up a slightly-teenaged kid…..hell, a grown-ass man as well? That’s right: offer them titties and beer. Rick ain’t offer Carl none of that. If there was one moment in this episode that Carl may have thought, hey, maybe Negan ain’t all that bad, it was right here.

-Then he goes to Sherry, Dwight’s ex, and gets the news that one of his wives, Amber, got one of his men, Mark, to avoid his work and be with her. Here is where Jeffrey Dean Morgan really shines, where he straddles the line between being a cartoon character with how over-the-top he is……but then you get the feeling that he’s gon’ kill everyone in that room, even though he mentioned that he has never laid a hand on any of the women. However, Amber knows that something bad is gon’ come, and poor Mark….he doesn’t even know it yet. Meanwhile, Dwight brings in Daryl with a vegetable tray from Sobeys or some shit.

-Next, Negan gets Carl to show him his eye, or rather, his lack of an eye, and oooooooooh boy…..JDM was on fire here. “That is disgusting” was my favorite part of the rant, and then it’s even better when he apologizes to Carl, who is crying because Negan is really havin’ a time the eye jokes.Actually, that’s a lie, the best part is that Negan tells him, “I wanna touch it” through a hearty chuckle, and if I’m not mistaken, that’s the second time someone on The Walking Dead has wanted to touch it, and I mean…..COME ON. And Negan is kinda sympathetic, but he doesn’t let Carl cover it up because it’s rad. Not only that, he gets Carl to sing him a song, “You Are My Sunshine” because that’s what Lori sang to him, and Carl explains the story of him shooting Lori before he turned. I really get the idea that Negan actually likes Carl, like, might wanna be his Big Brother or some shit, which would be the most perverse Big Brothers pairing ever.

-Let’s take a little break from Negan being a dick to talk about Rick and Aaron, who stumble upon a buncha warning signs from someone telling them that they’ll only find trouble if they go forward, so obviously they have to go forward and besides, they have one day to round up shit before Negan returns, or so they think. Meanwhile, Spencer and Father Bitchass are out scavenging, and FB has really had enough of Spencer’s bitching, calling him a tremendous shit and then gets outta the car to walk back to Alexandria. The best part is that he looked in his eyes the whole time, and you KNOW you’re a punk when Father Bitchass knows you ain’t gon’ do nothing. Then Spencer finds a walker hung up with a bow, he gets it down and finds a note in his pocket in Latin, and this is about to be some ol’ bullshit. I was praying the walker fell on his head.

-Rosita yells at Eugene and calls him a coward for not making her bullet, and while she brings up a lot of great points, fuck her because her plan is fucking terrible and could get a lot more people killed. She’s basically risking everyone else’s lives for Abe, who moved on to the next girl right in front of your face. And is Rosita even a good shot? Goddammit, these people make some awful, awful plans.

-Dwight and Sherry are back to smoking, and she regrets their deal with Negan, but such is life. I think she might be at the top of the “Who will double-cross Negan” Power Rankings. It would be Sherry, with Dwight closely behind, Daryl doesn’t count because he’s just broken and I think he even threatens Negan in this episode because he still ain’t learned. Anyway, Fat Joey is third on the list because they fat-shame him all the time. And Sherry is definitely #1 on the list because Daryl gets a note with a key on the back in his cell, and it says, “GO NOW”. She did that shit.

-But OH, speaking of fat-shaming, that’s nothing. Carl says some shit about Negan is afraid to kill him because he already would have, so Negan and ’em roll out (with Jesus on top of the truck because the Saviors are just terrible at noticing anything happening with their vehicles) and head to Alexandria. Negan meets Olivia, who says that they’re running low on supplies and that they’re practically starving. Negan starts laughing because, well, let’s just say Olivia doesn’t look like she’s starving, then as she is crying, tries to have sex with her, to which she slaps him and leaves. Yeah man, Negan ain’t here for your feelings. Your feelings are there to amuse him. His performance alone makes this the best episode of the season.

-Then he finds Judith, and the episode actually ends with Negan, sitting on Rick’s porch, holding his (well, Shane’s) baby, contemplating killing Rick and Carl and taking over their house and chatting with the neighbors. Mental warfare is Negan’s game, although we’ve seen that he’s pretty solid at the physical game as well.

-And no, I didn’t forget that he ironed Mark’s face like a dress shirt. Like Amber said, she knows he’s an asshole and it wouldn’t end well for anyone. Mark passed out and pissed himself and everything, and Negan got Daryl to clean it up. But hey, rules are rules are rules.

-Some other stuff was happening in this episode, starting with Michonne, who set up a trap for one of the Saviors driving down the street. After a brief scuffle, Michonne orders the woman to take her to Negan. Now, I have slightly more confidence in her Negan plan over Carl’s or Rosita’s, but not a whole lot. After all these go wrong, I want Negan to sit down and evaluate these plans on a grading scale. I’m sure he’d have all sorts of quips. Rick and Aaron find a houseboat that is surrounded by walkers, so someone has to be out there. And Rosita, Eugene and Spencer get back to Alexandria, where they find Negan and ’em. Spencer’s Latin knowledge tells him that letter reveals a buncha supplies and guns because why the fuck wouldn’t it. If they make either him, or Father Bitchass, pull off some Carol-type shit to save everyone, I’ma throw my hands up so damn fast.

Anyway, this was the best episode of the season for me, which doesn’t say a whole lot because I’ve thought most of this season was a steaming pile of zombie skin. But I think it’s safe to say JDM is the MVP of Season 7 regardless of what happens. Next week’s finale is slated to be almost 90 minutes, their sixth extended episode of the season because AMC is getting all the commercial money (and good on ’em). Whose plan is gon’ blow up in their faces first? Who will die? Someone gotta die, I would think, and the Dwight/Sherry double-cross plan will probably start to take shape. And where the fuck is King Zeke and the tiger?

I hope Daryl dies. I REALLY hope he does.

 

 

 

 

Fear The Walking Dead S01E02 – So Close, Yet So Far

After a solid pilot episode that shattered ratings records for cable programs, Fear The Walking Dead returned with their second of six episodes this season (15 episodes are lined up for Season 2), “So Close, Yet So Far”, another good episode that is bound to make you mad, but in a good way, I think. Let’s go…..

-We open with the principal, Art, patrolling the empty hallways of the school, which has been evacuated until they can figure out what the hell is going on. He hears something and turns around, yet tells the person on the other end of the radio that it’s all clear, so you know nothing good is going to happen to him. Then you have Alicia, the snarky daughter, walking down the street and she passes her boyfriend Matt’s house, with the door ajar….again, a sign that something bad is going to, or has, gone down. She walks in, there is a broken vase on the floor and in his room, all you hear is groans as she steps back and gasps, “OH MY GOD”. Obviously (well, not to her), Matt is on his way to Zombieland.

-Shoutout to the opening music, which is short, sweet, ominous and lets you know that it’s about to go down. It’s not even music really, it just sounds like someone slammed one button on a keyboard and let that shit ride.

-Travis, Madison and Nick leave the scene of their clash with Zombie Calvin, and they’re callin’ around to gather up Travis’ ex-wife and son and Alicia, who answers and tells Madison that she’s with Matt, while Nick is messin’ around with the radio tryna get some news. When Madison learns where Alicia is, she tells her to don’t touch Matt, who has a wild fever and no one can get through to 911, so Travis steps on it and heads to Matt’s. Mmmmmhmmmm, AMC, I’m keepin’ count. Three-for-three on zombiefied brothas.

-Travis’ bitch-ass son gets on the bus and ignores a call from his father, which jumps him above Alicia in the “You need to get eaten” power rankings. Speaking of, she’s tryna nurse Matt to health when Madison and ’em show up, and she won’t leave his side. The naivety of these people is maddening, but I have to keep telling myself that we, the audience, know what is going on and how this is going to end, but they, the characters in the story, don’t, and you think that the overwhelming thought is, “OMG IT’S THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE”, you’re out of your mind. Most people don’t think that way (and you’re not special if you do, so stop it). And even when you realize what is going on, do you know how hard that is to process? Anyway, more on this throughout the recap, I would reckon.

-Anyway, Travis finds a bite mark on Matt’s neck and he’s like, yeah, we gotta get the fuck outta here and Alicia doesn’t want to go, but Matt figures out what is going as well and is like, listen to your mother and go. I also want to him to bite the shit outta her face. Meanwhile, Nick is going through the bathroom cabinet because, well, withdrawal is a motherfucker and junkies gon’ junkie.

-Chris (Travis’ son) is on the bus still, and it stops as a cop has shot a homeless man, apparently, and people rush off the bus. I really hope this doesn’t turn into some sort of societal statement on cops and people. I don’t think this is the right show for that. Travis, Madison and the kids head home and see their neighbor outside setting up for a party, because when you hear that places are being shut down because of a virus, that is the first thing you should do: have a party and invite more people. Meanwhile, one of the other neighbors is coughing while packing up to get the fuck out.

-Nick asks Madison if she’s going to tell the neighbor about what is going on, and he also tells Madison that he’s about to step into a world of shit. I didn’t catch on to it at first because I was thinking about all the zombieness, but yeah, junkies gon’ junkie. Travis leaves to go pick up his ex-wife (Liza) and Chris, and Madison says she’ll wait for him to go to the desert, but he insists she leaves. A lot of people are gon’ die tryna be nice and chivalrous in these Fear TWD streets.

-Travis gets to Liza’s house, and she was an asshole to him on the phone, talkin’ about her legal rights and when he’s supposed to come there and shit, and he’s all, “YO, THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME”, but he still doesn’t really tell her what is going on. He uses her phone to call Chris, who will pick up because you BETTER not ignore a phone call from Moms, and they learn that he is at a protest that was started by the cops shooting this homeless guy. Meanwhile, Alicia is on junkie-withdrawal duty, which means getting a bucket for Nick, who isn’t handling this shit well at all. Madison can’t get a hold of her doctor, but she comes up with a plan that involves leaving Alicia with Nick, which sounds like an all-around terrible idea, but there might not be much else she can do. She’s also depending on Alicia to not be an asshole and leave her brother, and that’s like, 50/50 at best.

-I forgot, while Travis is en route to Liza’s, he sees a cop putting all kinds of bottled water in his trunk. Yeah, something really bad is going on here.

-Madison’s plan is to go to the school and see if she can find anything in the first-aid room, and I loved this scene because it was slow and drawn out, and you’re just waiting on some bad shit to happen, especially when you think back to the beginning of the episode. Then she goes into a pitch-black room and you’re like, yep, you’re gettin’ fucked up and then you see someone walk into a room where she’s essentially cornered….but it’s Tobias, the kid who just wants his knife back. It’s kinda weird that, number one, he could get into the school (unless Madison left the door unlocked, which is possible) and two, he’s so pressed for that knife. Shit must be a family heirloom or has the antidote for the virus in it or something.

-Chris is still at this protest with a video camera, and it’s turning into a statement on police brutality and rights and all that shit, and I’m not really here for it: in most places, yes, but not in a zombie show; but again, these people don’t know what is coming. Madison and Tobias are still in the school and Tobias wants to grab some canned goods because he knows that this ain’t gon’ stop.

-Alicia gives Nick some food and he’s like NOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAPPP,  and then she goes to leave to see Matt, but Nick basically forces himself to choke on his own vomit and now she has to decide: her brother or her boyfriend? She chooses her brother, who even says that Matt is going to kill her, and saves her life, even though she says she hates him. Yo, someone gotta tell her what is going on; either that, or in the zombie apocalypse, everyone in high school or younger is gettin’ thrown in the bushes. Mufuckas are irrational at that age (although, we learn as we get older, so are adults. Just kill everyone you meet). I think she would listen to Nick right off the break.

-Madison and Tobias are leaving the school, but they walk past the audio switchboard and hear something, which Tobias recognizes as “one of them”, so they decide to peace out immediately. They’re running, but then Madison sees Zombie Art (or as a commenter at the AV Club called him, “Zombama”, thanks to the homie Caitlin for pointing that out because that shit is greatness”), being Madison, she has to try and save a mufucka. Look, I know it’s naivety and no one knows what is going on. But Zombie Art is staggering towards you, not responding to his name, and just look at his face…..FUCKING RUN. LEAVE THE FOOD, LEAVE THE KID, LEAVE EVERYTHING, FUCKING RUN.

-Tobias is better than me because he jumps in the middle when Zombie Art attacks Madison, and stabs him in the shoulder with his little knife, so instead, he gets attacked while Madison stands at the top of the steps down which they fell, lookin’ dumb as shit. She finally grabs a fire extinguisher while Tobias is holding this mufucka off somehow, and it takes a few good strikes, but finally knocks him out.

-They’re walking out of the school towards the car when they should be runnin’ like hell, while Travis and Liza get to the protest and find Chris, who doesn’t want to leave, but fuck his feelings. A zombie woman shows up in the middle of things and the cops shoot her, but I don’t think anyone in the crowd saw that she was fucked up, and of course, they start rioting. It’s chaotic and they’re running, when they see a man closing up his shop and Travis begs him to let them in until this ends. The man doesn’t want to, but his wife is like, dude, come on now. Also, shoutout to the dude that might not have been finished his haircut when he got kicked outta the barber shop. Gotta roll into the zombie apocalypse with a fucked-up fade.

-Madison drops Tobias off and offers for him to go with her and her family, but he says he’ll be alright, so the countdown to seeing Zombie Tobias begins. He’s the only one that seems to know that this won’t end. Meanwhile, a car rolls by with little girls in the back wearing hospital masks.

-Travis is starting to realize what is going on and scares this family half to death, and he says they have to get far away from here, but good luck with that because the freeway is backed up like shit. Meanwhile, Madison finally gets home and still won’t tell Alicia what is going on. She gives Nick a couple of OxyContin and he’s like, um, you don’t wanna see this as he gets to work because again, junkies gon’ junkie. Madison goes upstairs to wash Zombie Art’s blood out of her shirt and starts to cry as she is finally realizing what is going on; again, this is a lot to process to the majority of mufuckas out here. Travis calls her and tells her where he is, and I want a camera angle of Liza in the background when he asks Madison if she got Travis his meds. I bet she sucked her teeth real hard and was like, “Oh, you mean DRUGS?”. That shit woulda been good. Anyway, he tells her again to leave without him and she won’t before the signal cuts out.

-Alicia keeps asking Madison if she is okay and what is going on, and when she sees Party Neighbor getting attacked outside by a zombie (but she doesn’t know it yet, and I think it’s the neighbor that was coughing earlier), she wants to run out and help and Madison shuts the door and locks it. Yo……seriously. Tell her what is going on within the first 10 minutes of the next episode.

-While this is going on, we get cuts of dead Zombie Art in the school, the riots going on outside, Matt’s parents finally arrived at the house, but the trunk is still opened and the suitcases are on the ground, which can’t be a good sign, so we also have a countdown to seeing Zombie Matt. Nick is nappin’ like a junkie, which means he’s not gettin’ up for a hot minute. The wife of the barbershop man is praying for, well, everything at this point and then blows out the candle to end the episode.

“So Close, Yet So Far” kept the story moving as people are still slow to figure out what is going on. At this point, if you thought that Fear The Walking Dead was going to move faster than the original, you’re either trying to convince yourself or not paying attention. The Walking Dead has allowed Fear to move at its own pace and we’re going to get there. But today’s viewer isn’t patient and they want a cliffhanger every week, which can be tiresome as shit. You gotta let the story breathe because as I keep saying, it’s a lot to process. However, by the looks of the preview for the next episode, which is in two weeks for some reason, the scales are going to tip in a big, big way for Fear The Walking Dead.

One-Hitters: Homeland, Marvel’s Agents Of Shield and Serial

I’ve been wanting to get to the fourth season of Homeland and the half-season of season two for Agents Of Shield for a while now, but time didn’t permit me to do so. Well, I have a laptop again, so it’s on, so here are a couple of recaps, along with a bit on Serial, which became something of a phenomenon, although I was mad late to the party. Let’s go….

Homeland

I was fully prepared to throw Homeland in the bushes after a terrible third season, but they pulled me back in at the end, so I decided to give it a go. This was probably the best season since the first, and the middle part, basically after the kid died, might have been the best stretch that Homeland has ever had. Claire Danes was great as usual as Carrie Matheson, and I’ve given up on getting mad about the CIA allowing her to do what she wants, because there is no show if they don’t. I hope that people weren’t surprised by Carrie sleeping with the kid who was Haqqani’s uncle, because we know she’ll do ANYTHING to get the information that she wants. Saul being out in the field and becoming a hostage for half the season was pretty good, and Quinn was probably the MVP of the season, although he should have known that Carrie isn’t a relationship person.

However, the season wasn’t perfect at all. I’m not buying Carrie as a mother and even though the finale showed us a glimpse into why Carrie is how she is (a strained relationship with her mother), I just don’t care. Also, there was no resolution with Tasneem, the ISI agent who didn’t let Aasar Khan call the troops after Carrie and Saul’s motorcade got bombed. She was straight up evil, and I would assume she’ll be back next season.

I didn’t mind the finale as much as a lot of people did, although it took me a minute to process that Saul is actually getting behind Dar Adal’s deal with Haqqani (or is he?). I never trusted Dar Adal anyway, and I think Saul has a plan to set him up somehow. Carrie gave him a good Carrie Face, but she has to trust Saul, although I wouldn’t be mad if Saul was tryna fuck her after what happened in “Halfway To A Donut” (episode 8).

Thumbs up, Homeland, that was quite the recovery. And the less we see any members of the Brody family, the better.

Marvel’s Agents Of Shield 

I got into AOS after watching Captain Marvel: Winter Soldier, and I still need to go back and watch the first season, but I got enough information to figure out what was going on. First of all, fuck an ABC budget, Marvel must have brought their own money to the table because I keep forgetting I’m watching a TV show; the special effects are incredible. Anything that involves cloaking, I’m in. It was fun getting to know all the characters, which is why I need to watch season one, but based off the ten episodes I’ve watched so far, I’m not really partial to any characters; they all play their roles very well. Skye obviously stands out because, well, she’s part-friggin’-alien and her father is nuts. May is a beast and will wreck shop anytime she gets a chance; that fight scene between her and Agent 33 (aka bad May) might have been my favorite of the half-season so far.

I’m still unsure as to how Hydra even works other than to know that they’re some bad mufuckas, but again, I think watching season one will help with that. It has been somewhat refreshing to come into AOS without knowing much about the characters or the story because anyone that knows me, knows I’m not much of a comic guy. That allows me to focus on the story more and how they’re telling it, but I’m definitely missing out on some pieces of information. Meh. I’ll figure it out.

I’ve been entertained by AOS so far. There hasn’t been much I haven’t liked about it, outside of the Lance Hunter character, but that’s just me being picky and really, it’s not that big of a deal. As far as network shows go, Agents Of Shield makes you forget you’re watching a show; each episode feels like a mini-movie.

Serial

Alright, so I got into Serial super late. I saw a couple of Facebook friends talking about it and decided to give it a shot on a Tuesday since Sons Of Anarchy and Agents Of Shield were done. I burned through the first 11 episodes by the finale on that Thursday and for those who are all, “how did you do that?”, it wasn’t hard. That is the beauty of podcasts (yeah, it’s not on TV, in case you didn’t know); you can listen to them as you’re doing other stuff and the longest episode of the season was 54 minutes or something, so it doesn’t take that long. It was explained to me as an old-school type of radio show in which there is a narrator telling a story, and that, for me, was the best part of Serial. Sarah Koenig did an excellent job of just telling the story and laying out the facts as she saw them, and that is why I’m not even mad at the ending, which was less than concrete. Remember, she isn’t a lawyer and I’m not even sure she’s a real journalist, she was just someone intrigued by the story. I figured out about halfway through that it was gon’ end like this. She gives off the proper amount of “shit, I don’t know”, that we as listeners have.

So, as for the story? My biggest problem with the entire thing was that Sarah never got to speak to Stephanie, who was Jay’s girlfriend and very close to Adnan. I don’t think she wanted to speak to Sarah, and that’s fine, but she knows something, she has to based on her relationships with the two people that are most important to the case. Also, I’m not sure if Adnan’s lawyer, Christina, was occupied with being sick, or she did throw the case to get up on the appeal (and make more money), but one thing is for sure: she didn’t do a very good job. I don’t buy the story of a serial killer based on that story about another Asian woman being strangled in her car and buried, it just all seemed too convenient. My money is on Jay, who had more to do with it than he let on. We know he helped Adnan bury the body, so he says, but I think he helped with the actual killing, or even did it himself because he was jealous of Adnan and Stephanie’s relationship. He had Adnan’s car and phone to go shopping for Stephanie’s birthday at Adnan’s request. I pretty much got that feeling by the end of the first episode, and nothing that I heard over the last 11 episodes did nothing to dispel that theory. Not to mention, the cops were fucking shady (where have we heard that before) with Jay, who somehow didn’t get in any sort of trouble for admitting to helping bury a body. I don’t know how plea deals work, but damn. And remember that the prosecutor yelled at Don (Hae’s new boyfriend) for not making Adnan sound worse on the stand? Yeah, that side was shady, but the defense couldn’t (or wouldn’t, depending on who you believe) take advantage of it. What I do know is that Adnan didn’t do a lot to help his cause, saying that people will think what they’re gon’ think, and that is enough to leave the door open for people to suspect him.

Overall, I think the way that I listened to it (basically the entire series in a 48-hour span) has an effect on how I view the case. Had I had all week to wait for another episode, I probably would have come up with more wacky theories. But Serial might have changed the way people look at podcasts, and I know I’ma give This American Life a go now. I’ve been meaning to as a number of podcasters I listen say that is their favorite, so that will go down in the new year. It was an engrossing experience that got me from the very beginning, and I’m interested to see how the second season goes.

Shoutout to the opening theme. That piano loop, though? My goodness. That is so nice.

Thanks for rockin’ with me in 2014, folks. Happy holidays however you celebrate, hug your loved ones, and I’ll holla in 2015.