Tag Archives: Rick Grimes

The Walking Dead S07E08 – Hearts Still Beating

The Walking Dead powered into its midseason break with “Hearts Still Beating”, and while the grammatical error in the title really bothers me (I’ll explain that later), it was everything that is great about TWD: it was cheesy, over the top, still had a little bit of heart, and it was a buncha Negan being a dick. Let’s go……..

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-We open with Maggie at Glenn’s grave, which I assume she does daily, and then she goes to the top of the gate at the Hilltop. Gregory has an apple and is almost like, do you want this, and Eduardo, who is also up there, is like, dude, she’s pregnant, so Gregory thinks he’s being a nice guy by giving her the apple. One, she’s pregnant, stop being a dick, and two, most importantly, pregnant or not, Maggie would stomp the muddiest of holes in Gregory’s ass. Did he spend an entire episode getting punked by everyone like, two weeks ago? If you don’t go sit your fake Herschel ass down somewhere.

-Daryl gets out of his cell because of that note that told him to go. Yay. Fuck.

-More importantly, Negan is at Rick’s house, taking a shave and telling One-Eyed Carl how to shave as well, cooking pasta in his house, lookin’ like that scene from “Goodfellas“, but without the cocaine. Olivia gets some lemonade from Tara, who says she’ll go inside and take over for Olivia, who told Rick she would watch Judith, and neither of them would be able to do anything, so that’s pointless.

-Then we have Rick and Aaron, who decide to go out to the houseboat in the canoe full of bulletholes, and I was like, OOOOOOOOOOH WHAT LEVEL OF FUCKERY IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN……well, the scene is stretched out, but basically, the canoe sinks because bulletholes, they have to fight off water walkers (which I figured would like, disintegrate in the water, but whatever man), Aaron sees one in the other canoe, falls the fuck over and is taken under, Rick freaks out, Aaron pops up, and I let out a good, hearty laugh. The best thing about The Walking Dead is when you can see the fuckery down the road, and you know it’s about to be some bullshit, but it’s just a matter of how they get to, and through, the bullshit. It was great. Anyway, they get to the canoe, while Negan is back at the house, tucking napkins in his shirt and shit, getting ready to chow down on a trough of spaghetti because that seems to be all they have at Alexandria (remember Aaron, Daryl and, um….Eric? I think that’s his boyfriend’s name).

-Spencer is tryna be nice to the Saviors, where some girl wants to holla at him and show him the compound later, aka her walls (not walls in a house, use your imagination). She also takes a moment to punk Eugene, who watches this flirtation go down because he’s a creep like that and he does like to watch.

-Meanwhile, Carol is tryna chill and read her book by a fire like a civilized human, and mufuckas won’t leave her alone, Morgan, King Zeke (who we don’t see in this episode and that’s some bullshit), and now Richard, apparently that is his name. He comes in and tries to persuade them to convince King Zeke to strike first against the Saviors, and Carol is like, I just wanna read my fuckin’ book and eat my produce, and we all know Morgan ain’t about that life. So, Richard goes to a shittily-hidden camper in the woods, throws a milk bottle and starts crying. So, here is my thing: why should I care about Richard? The Kingdom, even, for that matter? Spend a little more time on it and maybe, just maybe we would care. They could have honestly split up the Kingdom episode with the Tara episode at Ladyland, as my girl calls it. Because….anyway, more about the latter a bit later on because I have a guess about that. Richard does bring up a good point, though: the Saviors don’t really need a reason to go back on their deal. They run shit.

-Rick and Aaron are on the houseboat getting supplies, and they’re talking about this deal with the Saviors, which Michonne doesn’t think is living, but Aaron disagrees and says, “either your heart is beating or it isn’t”…..meanwhile, Michonne is still driving with this hostage Savior, and tries to talk to her because Michonne is losing her mind, and this woman just isn’t having it at all. OH, and back to Rick and Aaron, someone in mismatched boots is watching them through binoculars. Spooky.

-Oh, I almost forgot about Daryl and his great escape. He sneaks around, being all sneaky, then gets to Dwight’s room and eats ALL of the peanut butter with his dirty-ass finger. How does one eat that much peanut butter, that quickly, with one finger, and then not go to the bathroom right afterwards? And as he leaves, he smashes Dwight’s figurines, and they seemed to focus on one in particular, and I don’t know what the significance is. Maybe to show that Daryl is a badass? I bet he listens to Kid Rock. Goddammit, I hate this dude.

-At Hilltop, Maggie can smell apple pies through doors, but that’s believable because pregnancy hormones are no joke. Maggie wants to ask Jesus to get stuff, but Sasha says he left this morning. Maggie leaves and Enid is like, WHY YOU ALWAYS LYIN’. It’s because Sasha has a plan to go after Negan, because who doesn’t? I’d love to sit down and rank all of the plans because there are some real shitburgers in this pile.

-Father Bitchass and Rosita are at the church….and you know what…..GABRIEL tries to talk Rosita out of her shitty plan to kill Negan, maybe wait so everyone can work together. He has earned the right to finally be called by his real name. Lowkey, Young Gabe might be the MVP of the half-season (non-Negan division). Can’t wait for that to backfire in my face.

-Spencer is in the mirror, practicing how to say “Hi” and he looks like he’s on some Jack Handy shit (old SNL skit, do ya Googles). He tells Rosita that the plan is to get close to Negan and then strike, and Rosita says she used him before, but she’ll do dinner with him later because yo, people gotta bang, b. Meanwhile, Daryl finishes his great escape by bashing Fat Joey’s head in with a pipe, and Jesus walks in on it, so they steal a motorbike and leave. Negan gon’ kill everyone at that compound, b. He leaves and everyone stops giving all of the fucks. Everyone gon’ have irons on their faces.

-Michonne and the lady Savior drive to within distance of a gang of Saviors, like, hundreds of mufuckas and is basically like, bruh, you can’t win this fight, he is everywhere…..but I’m done with this shit, so you need to kill me and set this truck on fire. Which Michonne apparently does.

-Rick and Aaron get back to Alexandria to find Negan and ’em, and Aaron takes a massive ass-whipping because of some fuckass note they found on the houseboat that says “congrats for winning, but you still lose”. Thanks to Holly for this, but why did they even take the note back with them? How would they not know that would be some shit? Anyway, Aaron says that his heart is still beating, which is why the title bothers me. “heart’s” = “heart is”, not “hearts”. I don’t know why I would expect a show like this to care about that, but anyway.

-Spencer introduces himself to Negan, who wants to play pool, so they move a pool table out in the middle of the street. Spencer throws Rick under the bus, more or less implying that Rick got his mother killed and that he always fucks shit up (which isn’t all the way wrong), and that Spencer can be the new leader. Here is where you realized that he gotta die, because Negan says that Rick is swallowing his pride and his hate of Negan to get shit done, and that if Spencer wants Rick’s spot, go take it….but he won’t, because he doesn’t have the guts….and then he disembowels Spencer right on the street. In front of everyone, because everyone decided to come out and watch this game of pool. Shit looked like a Michael Jackson video.

-Rosita gets mad and pulls out the heat, but instead of shooting Negan, she shoots Lucille and Negan starts randomly cursing, sounding like Sterling Archer. One of the Saviors throws Rosita to the ground and cuts her face, while Negan wants to know who made this magic bullet. A couple people say they did it, but Negan knows they’re lying, so the female Savior, Arat is her name, she shoots Olivia. Tara then says she did it, but Eugene confesses and Negan is like, yeah, you look like a bullet-makin’ mufucka. So he takes Eugene with him when he leaves, and Rick stabs a reanimating Spencer in the head because fuck that guy.

-Michonne and Rick meet in the cells, and Michonne tells him that there are more Saviors than they thought, but they still have to fight. So they go to the Hilltop to see Maggie, and Jesus and Daryl are there, and it’s one big-ass Avengers reunion as they walk up to the house to discuss a plan. Daryl even gives Rick back his gun, which was on Fat Joey because that’s way too easy. Maggie better have kicked Daryl in the nuts at least three times, since he got back.

-I missed this, but after the credits, Young Gabe is being watched at the Alexandria gate by the person with the mismatched boots. I’m gon’ guess it’s someone from Ladyland? It better be. We don’t need any more new people.

-The one thing that I do like that they are rationing us with Negan, because I think if he were in every episode, it would be too much. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the MVP of this half-season and it isn’t even close because of how he straddles that line of being a cartoon and a downright fucking lunatic. But every episode and I think it would be too much. They just have to figure out to handle shit when he isn’t in the episode.

-Also, AMC: get your shit together and just make all the episode 90 minutes long. What else do you have to show? And if you’re gon’ have this many characters, you just might as well. I don’t wanna make any more Game Of Thrones comparisons, but let’s just say, you’re not Game Of Thrones. Take that extra advertising money and highstep down the sideline.

That was a solid ending to a typical half-season of The Walking Dead, which will return in February and likely do the same thing: be great for the first couple episodes, then be garbage, then end strong. Morgan and Carol will eventually come around and reach out to Rick because someone will hear something about Alexandria, which means King Zeke and Battlecat will be involved, Tara will holla at Ladyland, and yeah…..man, it is what it is by now with The Walking Dead. If they could just be consistent, the world would be a better place. The ratings are dropping, but they’re just now very good down from astronomical. It’ll be interesting to see if they try to improve in the second half of Season 7, I wouldn’t bet on it, but crazier things have happened and I’ma watch anyway. See y’all in February.

 

The Walking Dead S07E07 – Sing Me A Song

The Walking Dead has been hot garbage the last few weeks, basically since the second episode of Season 7, but of course, it picks up with “Sing Me A Song”, just in time for next week’s midseason finale because that’s what this show does. Let’s go…..

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-We open with Michonne walking down a road, where she finds the pile of burned mattresses, and then she kills two walkers that served as a nice callback to when we first met her, with her walkers on leashes. Meanwhile, Rick and Aaron, aka New Daryl, get out of a truck and see something down the road they’re on. Everyone stays tryna be Daryl on this show. Probably won’t work out for anyone but Daryl.

-A pair of Saviors are shooting the shit, waiting for some walkers to move out of their way, but we find Jesus and Carl in the back of their truck. Jesus jumps out of the truck while it’s moving, but Carl decides to stay because he’s a man and has to do this himself….also, he’s not that bright. Carl has large balls, no doubt, but his plan-making skills leave a lot to be desired.

-They get back to the spot and Carl eventually opens fire with a machine gun, killing one and asking for Negan. He shoots another one before Dwight tackles him, but Negan plays good cop….well, kinda….he offers Carl a hand and a tour, and Carl says no, but Negan says he’ll cut off Daryl’s arm if he doesn’t say yes. So kind of a good cop?

-There is some other stuff that happens in this episode, but really, the best part of the whole thing is Negan generally being a shit. He gets the entire factory to kneel to him and Carl is lookin’ at these people like they’re all pusses, then he takes Carl to meet his wives, like, a bunch of them. But here, Negan is smart because what is the best way you’re gon’ soften up a slightly-teenaged kid…..hell, a grown-ass man as well? That’s right: offer them titties and beer. Rick ain’t offer Carl none of that. If there was one moment in this episode that Carl may have thought, hey, maybe Negan ain’t all that bad, it was right here.

-Then he goes to Sherry, Dwight’s ex, and gets the news that one of his wives, Amber, got one of his men, Mark, to avoid his work and be with her. Here is where Jeffrey Dean Morgan really shines, where he straddles the line between being a cartoon character with how over-the-top he is……but then you get the feeling that he’s gon’ kill everyone in that room, even though he mentioned that he has never laid a hand on any of the women. However, Amber knows that something bad is gon’ come, and poor Mark….he doesn’t even know it yet. Meanwhile, Dwight brings in Daryl with a vegetable tray from Sobeys or some shit.

-Next, Negan gets Carl to show him his eye, or rather, his lack of an eye, and oooooooooh boy…..JDM was on fire here. “That is disgusting” was my favorite part of the rant, and then it’s even better when he apologizes to Carl, who is crying because Negan is really havin’ a time the eye jokes.Actually, that’s a lie, the best part is that Negan tells him, “I wanna touch it” through a hearty chuckle, and if I’m not mistaken, that’s the second time someone on The Walking Dead has wanted to touch it, and I mean…..COME ON. And Negan is kinda sympathetic, but he doesn’t let Carl cover it up because it’s rad. Not only that, he gets Carl to sing him a song, “You Are My Sunshine” because that’s what Lori sang to him, and Carl explains the story of him shooting Lori before he turned. I really get the idea that Negan actually likes Carl, like, might wanna be his Big Brother or some shit, which would be the most perverse Big Brothers pairing ever.

-Let’s take a little break from Negan being a dick to talk about Rick and Aaron, who stumble upon a buncha warning signs from someone telling them that they’ll only find trouble if they go forward, so obviously they have to go forward and besides, they have one day to round up shit before Negan returns, or so they think. Meanwhile, Spencer and Father Bitchass are out scavenging, and FB has really had enough of Spencer’s bitching, calling him a tremendous shit and then gets outta the car to walk back to Alexandria. The best part is that he looked in his eyes the whole time, and you KNOW you’re a punk when Father Bitchass knows you ain’t gon’ do nothing. Then Spencer finds a walker hung up with a bow, he gets it down and finds a note in his pocket in Latin, and this is about to be some ol’ bullshit. I was praying the walker fell on his head.

-Rosita yells at Eugene and calls him a coward for not making her bullet, and while she brings up a lot of great points, fuck her because her plan is fucking terrible and could get a lot more people killed. She’s basically risking everyone else’s lives for Abe, who moved on to the next girl right in front of your face. And is Rosita even a good shot? Goddammit, these people make some awful, awful plans.

-Dwight and Sherry are back to smoking, and she regrets their deal with Negan, but such is life. I think she might be at the top of the “Who will double-cross Negan” Power Rankings. It would be Sherry, with Dwight closely behind, Daryl doesn’t count because he’s just broken and I think he even threatens Negan in this episode because he still ain’t learned. Anyway, Fat Joey is third on the list because they fat-shame him all the time. And Sherry is definitely #1 on the list because Daryl gets a note with a key on the back in his cell, and it says, “GO NOW”. She did that shit.

-But OH, speaking of fat-shaming, that’s nothing. Carl says some shit about Negan is afraid to kill him because he already would have, so Negan and ’em roll out (with Jesus on top of the truck because the Saviors are just terrible at noticing anything happening with their vehicles) and head to Alexandria. Negan meets Olivia, who says that they’re running low on supplies and that they’re practically starving. Negan starts laughing because, well, let’s just say Olivia doesn’t look like she’s starving, then as she is crying, tries to have sex with her, to which she slaps him and leaves. Yeah man, Negan ain’t here for your feelings. Your feelings are there to amuse him. His performance alone makes this the best episode of the season.

-Then he finds Judith, and the episode actually ends with Negan, sitting on Rick’s porch, holding his (well, Shane’s) baby, contemplating killing Rick and Carl and taking over their house and chatting with the neighbors. Mental warfare is Negan’s game, although we’ve seen that he’s pretty solid at the physical game as well.

-And no, I didn’t forget that he ironed Mark’s face like a dress shirt. Like Amber said, she knows he’s an asshole and it wouldn’t end well for anyone. Mark passed out and pissed himself and everything, and Negan got Daryl to clean it up. But hey, rules are rules are rules.

-Some other stuff was happening in this episode, starting with Michonne, who set up a trap for one of the Saviors driving down the street. After a brief scuffle, Michonne orders the woman to take her to Negan. Now, I have slightly more confidence in her Negan plan over Carl’s or Rosita’s, but not a whole lot. After all these go wrong, I want Negan to sit down and evaluate these plans on a grading scale. I’m sure he’d have all sorts of quips. Rick and Aaron find a houseboat that is surrounded by walkers, so someone has to be out there. And Rosita, Eugene and Spencer get back to Alexandria, where they find Negan and ’em. Spencer’s Latin knowledge tells him that letter reveals a buncha supplies and guns because why the fuck wouldn’t it. If they make either him, or Father Bitchass, pull off some Carol-type shit to save everyone, I’ma throw my hands up so damn fast.

Anyway, this was the best episode of the season for me, which doesn’t say a whole lot because I’ve thought most of this season was a steaming pile of zombie skin. But I think it’s safe to say JDM is the MVP of Season 7 regardless of what happens. Next week’s finale is slated to be almost 90 minutes, their sixth extended episode of the season because AMC is getting all the commercial money (and good on ’em). Whose plan is gon’ blow up in their faces first? Who will die? Someone gotta die, I would think, and the Dwight/Sherry double-cross plan will probably start to take shape. And where the fuck is King Zeke and the tiger?

I hope Daryl dies. I REALLY hope he does.

 

 

 

 

The Walking Dead S07E04 – Service

Now that we’re all caught up with everyone, and we know where everyone is, The Walking Dead continues with “Service”, also known as the Negan-comin-for-all-your-shit tour. Some stuff that happened in the premiere served to help this episode not be terrible, and there could have been a hint for the future here as well, so let’s go.

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-We open with Rick and Michonne in bed, which I kinda forgot about, and she sneaks out, well, she thinks she does. But Rick saw her the whole time, and I’m pretty sure he saw the rifle that she took out of the fireplace of their house. She takes her weapons and goes to an abandoned car, sitting on the roof, waiting for something it seems, while Rick picks up Judith from her crib. It is a very ominous feeling, this beginning, like Michonne is about to wild out, which might not be in her best interests.

-Meanwhile, Rosita and Spencer are going on a supply run so that they’ll have something to give the Saviors, but Eugene is gon’ build a portable audio system for them, because surely the Saviors need something to play their music on. I wonder what Negan listens to? He seems like he would listen to ’70s rock, with no use for anything modern. Watch, he’ll bring out a Katy Perry playlist and dare anyone to laugh.

-Negan shows up at the Alexandria gate with his crew, including Daryl, and he reminds me of Eddie Murphy doing his James Brown impersonation. He tells Rick to hold Lucille, knowing full and damn well that he ain’t gon’ do anything, and no one can talk to Daryl, either, but Daryl is basically beaten down at this point, just gearing up for his inevitable redemption. They start searching the houses, while Dwight fucks with Rosita, taking her hat and her water, and ordering her to go get Daryl’s motorcycle, so he can make his transformation complete. Damn, he’s gon’ be so mad when Daryl takes it back. He’ll probably die, too. Also in this sequence, when Negan rolled up to the gate, Spencer had no idea who he was and tried to backtalk Negan, and Rick was like, man, if you don’t open this damn gate before batting practice starts.

-Michonne sees a walker and tries to shoot it, but keeps missing, so she takes out her trusty katana and cuts his head in half. You would think that Michonne would be a better shooter than she is at this point, but hell, she has the katana, so just roll with that. Unless the opposition has guns. Then, you should probably work on that.

-Negan asks about Maggie, and Rick lies, saying she is dead. He takes Negan to her “grave”, where he says that he wanted to add her to his harem of wives. Yeah, good luck with that. Maggie would kill herself first, especially for him. I know she has a baby and all, but nah, that ain’t the life that she wants her kid to lead. But then they hear a gunshot and Rick looks at Negan like, YO IT WASN’T ME.

-They find Carl with a Savior at gunpoint because dude tried to take their medicine. While Negan is impressed with Carl’s, um, let’s say, testicular fortitude, he basically tells him to back off or more people die. Shoutout to Carl for having a bigger pair than his father, and the intelligence to know that Negan ain’t playin’. He also gets the guns taken away by Negan, who wants ALL of the guns and Rick said they’re all there, but apparently two are not counted for, so Negan threatens to kill Olivia if they’re not found. She works at the pantry and the armoury, so Rick can’t lose her. Might gotta put a job ad on Kijiji or some shit.

-Rosita and Spencer are out in the woods, and Spencer questions whether Rick should lead Alexandria. Well, if not him, Spencer, who? You? YOU? Better not be. Because if he was leading Alexandria after his mother died, there is a good chance there wouldn’t be an Alexandria at this point.

-Rick calls a meeting to see where these guns are, and tells everyone that Negan is running the show now. So, I assume he hasn’t told anyone about Negan until, like, just now. You should probably give your citizens a heads up before people come in and take your shit. That could have ended much worse for everyone, meaning Alexandria. Eugene noticed that there were a couple people not at the meeting, which will come up later, I’m sure.

-Rosita spends her time killing the undead Saviors that were there when Denise got her arrow in the eye, and kills them, while looking for guns on the correct assumption that Negan is taking theirs. So, where does she think she will hide these guns? She does hide one in the wheel-well of the car they were driving, but you can only put so many guns in wheel-wells.

-HEY, look, Father Bitchass makes his first appearance of the season and it was him who led Negan to Maggie’s “grave”. He says that faith will get them through this whole thing, and Rick needs to believe and all types of other shit. Unless faith carries a bazooka (which Negan took), they’ll need more than that. Rick does manage to find the guns, stashed in Spencer’s house, along with some booze and food, ol’ hoardin’-ass mufucka.

-Rick takes the guns to Negan, who continues to crack jokes while threatening lives, but Rick sees Michonne and asks to be excused. I have no idea how Negan doesn’t see her, and I don’t buy that Negan wouldn’t send someone over with Rick, most likely, himself. Rick goes over to her, while holding Lucille, and says that people will die if Negan doesn’t get the guns, so they make up some story about her hunting and she brings back a deer to make the story even better. I might have messed that last part up, because I spent most of the time rolling my eyes. He then asks if Daryl can stay and Negan is all NOAP. Negan even asks Daryl if he wants to stay, and Daryl says nothing. No matter what he said, he wouldn’t have been happy, knowing Negan. Dwight then rolls up on Daryl’s bike and says he can have it back if he just pleads his allegiance to Negan, but we all know that ain’t happening.

-Rick goes at Spencer for stealing the guns, and Spencer goes back at him, blaming him for the deaths of Glenn and Abe. Rick is like, I know I’m gettin’ punked out here, but it won’t be by you, I promise, and threatens to break Spencer’s jaw if he says some shit again. Everyone has a line, I suppose. Then, Rosita goes at Spencer, who tells her he doesn’t trust Rick, and this is where she sneaks out the wheel-well gun. I wouldn’t be super upset if Spencer died. I know he’s Deanna’s son and all, but you can only push people that do more than you for so long.

-Rick and Michonne are back at the house, spreading blankets on the floor because Negan even took their mattresses. Michonne is struggling to understand this new way of life, but then Rick tells her about Shane, and how he knows Judith probably isn’t his child, but this is life now and you roll with it. This is the first time he acknowledged that Judith probably wasn’t his, I believe, and that has gotta knaw at him. He also says that they don’t even have the numbers with the people at the Hilltop, who I forgot all about, and I think Rick even killed their best fighters, so that won’t help. I thought the Hilltop and the Kingdom were the same. But this is how I see this playing out: the Saviors will mention something about Alexandria at their next meeting with King Zeke and Morgan, who will then rally the troops to help save Rick and ’em. Yeah, that’s pretty much how that will go.

-Now, I didn’t see this part because my copy must have cut off, but Michonne sees the Saviors burning the mattresses and seethes, while Rosita takes a shell casing to Eugene and tells him to make her a bullet. Just one. Some magic-bullet shit that will take out all the Saviors. But I’m concerned about Michonne. She is on the verge of wildin’ the fuck out, and that scares me.

-Seriously, though: where the hell is Maggie? Did she end up at the Hilltop? Isn’t there a doctor there? Why the hell didn’t she go there in the first place? I know there is a story, I’m just not going back to look, but I do think there is a story.

So, this episode was all about Negan runnin’ Alexandria’s pockets, Rick getting down on himself like he did at the prison before he became a damn farmer, Michonne and Rosita should really get together and start coming up with a cohesive plan before they get everyone killed, and Judith might be an orphan. Hell, she might be a double orphan soon if Rick keeps giving Negan sideeyes (prediction: she won’t). I haven’t seen a preview for next week, but I would think the Kingdom would get a mention, and hell, maybe even the Hilltop, too. Because Lord knows, Rick is gon’ need a LOT of help to get past Negan and ’em.

The Walking Dead S07E03 – The Cell

The Walking Dead “Hey, what’s happenin’ over here” tour continues with “The Cell” as we head to the Sanctuary, also known as Negan’s place. But of course, the focus is Daryl, which is awesome. It’s not. Let’s go…….

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-Again, I missed the beginning up to the credits, which will likely be a theme throughout the season. But from what I gathered (again, shoutout to The Walking Dead Wikia), Dwight is the center of attention as Negan’s right-hand man, cuttin’ in line and taking way more bread than everyone else, while some guy gets beaten to death by a bunch of Saviors as he was short on payment for whatever he wanted to eat, then took his shirt off and threw it down. They obviously took that as disrespect; seems like something they would do.

-Speaking of being an asshole, Dwight goes through the dead man’s place and takes his stuff, with the man’s pregnant wife and kid watching because fuck it, why not, they don’t need pickles or mustard anyway. Also in this sequence, we see Dwight with some other Saviors and when Negan passes them, they kneel to him. Negan has a bit of a God complex, it seems, and that becomes ever so evident throughout the episode. I can’t wait to see how this all came about, although they hint at it a little bit in this episode. Dwight then puts some dog food on some bread and takes it to a cell, where naked Daryl is chillin’, They basically do this a couple more times, where Dwight brings shitty sandwiches and Daryl has to eat them, then he locks the cell. All the while, this song is playing to torture Daryl and it’s called “Easy Street” by the Collapsible Hearts Club. I can see why it would be used for torture. It began to hurt every time they played it, so I guess it worked for the show. Between shitty sandwiches and that song, I wouldn’t last a week in there.

-Next, Dwight takes a clothed Daryl to see this doctor, Dr. Carson, apparently, because he has a messed-up shoulder, which is probably the least of his worries right now. Sherry is in there, and who is Sherry, you ask? Well, so did I. She was in the episode where we met Dwight, “Always Accountable”, which I’d love to link you to, but I didn’t do a recap on it, apparently. I vaguely remember it, it was Sherry, Dwight and some other girl, and they jacked Daryl for his supplies…..I remember it more for Abe tryna shoot his shot with Sasha for the first time, and smoking a cigar on top of a Hummer or a tank or something. So hey, I guess Abe wasn’t useless. Anyway, Sherry is in the office and tells Daryl to do what he is told, and Dwight doesn’t want her talking to him. She also has a pregnancy test, which she says is negative, and Dwight is all, “better luck next time”. What is this, pregnancy roulette? And who is tryna get pregnant in the zombie apocalypse? I don’t think it’s her idea, if I had to guess, but it seems like a really bad one, to say the least. There are all sorts of methods…..you know what, I’ll stop there. But y’all know where I was going with that.

-Dwight stops to talk to Negan while he is guarded by this Savior named Fat Joey, not the rapper, who doesn’t go by Joey and apparently, he is also not fat anymore. Dwight then takes Daryl out to show him the walker fence, which has a new addition as the man from the food line is being secured to said fence, which is the first line of defense against intruders and let’s be real, it’s there because Negan is an asshole. Dwight tells Daryl that he can either work for Negan or work in the yard, securing walkers, and Daryl is being Daryl, saying that he would never kneel to Negan. Dwight says that he said that as well, and then takes Daryl back to his cell. Daryl proceeds to try and pick the lock and relentessly kick the door, and that’s the best part of the episode for me. He was tryna get out and he couldn’t. That was good. I had a little bit of hope for a minute that he wouldn’t make it outta there. Damn, I’ma be SO MAD when he gets out.

-Negan and Dwight are talkin’ again, with Negan asking Dwight how the breaking of Daryl is going and he says, it’s fine, slow, but fine. Negan wants to reward with a night with one of his wives, because Negan has multiple wives, because of course he does. It would be a waste to be a dictator without multiple wives, I assume, although I would think that would take away from his dictator time….it’s a complicated setup. Anyway, Dwight says no and Negan starts to get mad, making jokes about Dwight’s dick because, and this I remember, Eugene bit it in “Twice As Far“, the 14th episode of last season. The same joint where Denise caught the arrow in the eye and Eugene was like, NOAP, not doing that, so he bit Dwight in the penis because you gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, Negan acted like he cared about Dwight’s well-being, but he doesn’t and Dwight knew that, but he’s like, nah, I’m good, and besides, I wanna torture Daryl because Negan wants him to pass it off to someone else, say, Fat Joey, because he’s fat and needs exercise, says Negan. I’m not sure if they know about Daryl, but hand to hand, I’ll give him that, he would give Fat Joey that work. Dwight also leaves because there was a radio call about a runaway worker, which now makes sense because I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

-Shoutout to @Starr_Rocque on Twitter who said, “The ironic thing about Negan is as sociopathic as he is, he’s anti-rape”. He did say to Dwight that he could have whichever wife he wanted, as long as they said yes. Again, Negan is a complicated man.

-Doesn’t even matter because this probably won’t get to that point. Fat Joey is watching the cell and gives Daryl a sandwich, but doesn’t lock the cell, which is why they were so intent on making you hear that door lock. Daryl sneaks out and creeps around the hallways, while Dwight is out looking for the runaway worker on Daryl’s motorcycle, and I kinda wanna call him “Bootleg Daryl” now. He also reminds me of Rat from Sons Of Anarchy to the point that I had to see if it was the same dude (it’s not). He has to get off the bike to navigate his way through a walker obstacle course, which should be on the next season of Survivor, and then a walker falls from an overpass, apparently, because that shit came outta nowhere. There is a struggle and Dwight wins, obviously. Another thing I can’t wait for? The episode this season where the zombies win and feast. There are usually 1-2 per season, because we all know major/quasi-major characters aren’t dying when this shit happens. Dwight is major enough now that he ain’t dying via zombie.

-Meanwhile, Daryl is creepin’ along, tryna find a way out and Sherry catches up to him, and tells him to go back because when he gets caught, it’ll be worse. I think Negan needs to give her a job at tracking and finding people, and not being a human incubator. Daryl being Daryl is like, NAH, and sneaks outside where he sees a buncha motorcycles and is like, hey, I’m free….and then he is surrounded by Saviors. Negan walks up with Lucille and and says, “are we pissing our pants yet?”. He tells Daryl his options: working for Negan and basically living the life, working for points, which means out in the yard, or dying. He doesn’t say anything, which I would take for picking death, but Negan is cool about it, swinging Lucille at him, but stopping short of hitting him, which amuses Negan because Daryl doesn’t flinch. See, everyone knows that ain’t happening. Anyway, Negan walks away and the Saviors jump Daryl, which I wanted to see more of.

-In his cell, Sherry tells Daryl that she is sorry for jumping him in the woods and taking his shit. Daryl’s like, man, unless you’re tryna help, go play somewhere. She was tryna maybe make him feel better. It didn’t work.

-Dwight saves the runaway worker, named Gordon, from a walker, and Gordon was one of the Saviors that kneeled to Negan at the beginning of the episode. Dwight points a gun at Gordon and tries to walk him back to the Sanctuary, and Gordon is like, man, fuck it, kill me, why do we let one guy with a bat walk in and run our lives, which is a fair question. I wonder if Negan just showed up with Lucille and a couple homies and was like, this is my shit now….that’s what it sounds like. Dwight counters that he’ll put everyone he loves on the wall, which gets Gordon going, and while it seems like Dwight is catchin’ what Gordon is saying, he shoots him anyway. He gets back to the Sanctuary, where Sherry meets him for a smoke, and Dwight asks, “is he good to you”, meaning Negan, and then when she says yes, Dwight says that they did the right thing and it is better than being dead. So that’s it…..Sherry was Dwight’s wife and Negan snatched that. Oh yeah, Dwight will have a hand in Negan’s downfall, or he’ll die trying, which is more likely.

-Dwight goes to give Daryl food, but he doesn’t want it, so Dwight puts a picture on the wall of the cell, and I don’t even have to guess what it is….it’s a picture of dead Glenn and while Daryl a long time to cry, he gets it out eventually. I have a feeling this has happened before, I wanna say last season, and he was leaning against a tree or something. He cries. I smiled. It was good.

-Oh, this week on Fear The Walking Dead: Passage, the two women decide that they’re going to Mexico via tunnel and in this election season, I’m not even gon’ touch that one.

-Dwight takes Daryl to an apartment, and Negan tells the story of how Dwight became his main man: Dwight, Sherry and her sister, Tina, worked for points, which she used for diabetic medication, but she came up short, so Negan was like, marry me, because romance isn’t dead in TWD’s world. The three of them stole some medicine and ran, which is when they first met Daryl, but Tina ended up getting eating by zombies and they had to go back. Dwight asked for forgiveness and Negan did it, but he took Sherry (she offered) and burned Dwight’s face with an iron. His idea of forgiveness kinda sucks. Anyway, the plan is for Daryl to live here because Negan likes him, but he asks who Daryl is and after a long pause and Negan asking one more time, he says his own name and not Negan. Good for him.

-Back to the cell for him, and Dwight is yelling at him for not wanting to get better at life, and Daryl says some shit about understanding why Dwight did it, it was for someone else, which is why Daryl can’t do it, or some other fake-deep shit. So who is it? Is it Glenn? Is it Beth? Is it Maggie? Because she owes him a fucking BEATDOWN when they see each other again. Like, a good year’s worth of kicking his ass every single day. The episode ends with Dwight looking at the fence and there is a new walker….it’s Gordon.

I knew that going into this episode, it would be a Daryl episode, and forgive me for not liking it…I just don’t like that dude and I’m not here for feeling sympathetic towards him. The Dwight stuff, I did like because he was just doing what he had to do, and yeah, he gotta try and get at Negan at some point before he dies, which will be how he dies, I take it. But we also need to find out more about how Negan got to the Sanctuary, which I think we will (no comic stuff, please). Next week, we’re back at Alexandria as Negan goes to pick up an order, and I saw Michonne with a machine gun, so that’s promising. Don’t do anything stupid, missus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Walking Dead S07E01 – The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be

I think I write this every single season: The Walking Dead is very good at premieres and finales: it’s in between that usually crosses them up. We’ll worry about all that later (because it WILL happen), but Season 7’s premiere, “The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be” was everything I needed it to be: bloody, brutal and taking out people that we care about. Let’s go……

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-Shoutout to Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who plays Negan and tweeted out this picture after the premiere was done. Negan is already the best villain in the history of TWD, no matter what happens. He makes the Governor look like a daycare teacher. A cuddly one, at that. One that would let you have an extra juice box after nap time.

-The episode starts off where it ended last season, with Negan standing over the crew, Lucille in tow, ready to take some batting practice. For the most part, the first segment was Negan threatening Rick, and I missed the first minute or two, but luckily, they didn’t show who it was until the second, when it was revealed that it was……Abe. I knew it. I knew it wouldn’t be anyone that we cared about, and by “we”, I mean, “me”. I don’t care about Abe, he hit some smoove one-liners last season, and no one will ever forget him calling someone a “motherdick”, but am I upset that it was him? Not really. Negan probably decided that he might as well take out the biggest person, that would be my thinking. Some people were like, he could add Abe to his army, but I’m pretty sure Negan is good with the army he has. Anyway, Negan beat the blazes outta that dude, who managed to get out something about his nuts as he was dying, kiss ’em or suck ’em or something. Probably be able to rub some brains on his nuts, that’s how hard Negan was hittin’ him.

-And then Daryl, who I wished it would have been, decided to be a big man and jump up at Negan, I think he even managed to get a punch in. Negan had Lucille in front of Rosita, telling her to look at Abe’s brains as he put it together that they were something, and what did Negan say? If anyone moved, some shit was about to fly. Dogg, he WARNED you. So Negan has to prove that he is a man of his word, and took it out on Glenn’s skull. Now this was slightly upsetting, but it would have been moreso if what happened with Glenn and the dumpster hadn’t happened. I figured he wouldn’t get it because if he got outta that, Glenn was Superman. But Negan ain’t a buncha dumbass zombies that decided, well, we can’t reach him so we’ll move on, and went to town on Glenn’s head. And that’s on Daryl, that’s on y’alls man, your saviour, ol’ non-showerin’ ass. I really wish it would have been him just to see people furious. And he woulda deserved it because this is on him. And I’m prepared to be mad when he survives this. Because he WILL survive this.

-HE DOESN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING.

-Glenn said something to Maggie before Negan hit ’em with the death blow, but I don’t know what he said. Hopefully, it was, “this is Daryl’s fault”. Anyway, RIP to Glenn. Season 1 vet, and last season’s, “I was just supposed to be delivering pizzas” line is up there with Carol’s “Look at the flowers” from Season 4 as my favorites. But I’m happy it happened. TWD was getting complacent. If Game Of Thrones has taught us anything, it’s that anyone can get it at any time, and this was basically TWD’s version of “The Red Wedding”. For a minute, I REALLY thought Rick would get it, too. That’s how frightening Negan is.

-Somewhere in between this, Rick says something about, not today, not tomorrow, blah blah blah, but he’s gon’ kill Negan. And he will, because The Walking Dead (actually, now I believe it will be Maggie). But for now, Negan is in charge and he drags Rick into his camper, where he also has Abe’s axe. He tells Rick to try and get it and kill him, and then surprises him with a machine gun, because Rick really thought Negan was that stupid. Negan takes him out to one of the last traps they ran into in the Season 6 finale, “Last Day On Earth“, the joint where they hung ya man off the overpass. Negan throws his axe outside of the camper and tells Rick to go get it for him, basically to see if he will. And here is where shit REALLY got ridiculous. First, it looks like the place is swarming with zombies, but Negan kills like, two of them as he opens the door and there is a clear path. Okay, fine, whatever. Then Rick fights off a couple, but again, it looks like there are roughly 20,000 walkers around him. Cool. Then Rick runs to the top the camper, but I didn’t see him grab an axe and next thing you know, the axe is beside him. I don’t even think Rick saw the axe when Negan threw it out. Rick is going through a buncha scenarios in which everyone dies if he doesn’t get this axe back to Negan, so…..sorry, I just chuckled remembering this scene because it’s ridiculous, remember ol’ boy that they hung off the overpass? Yeah dogg…..Rick fuckin’ jumped on him and hung there for a minute. But really, this might have been the most realistic part of the scene because dude was freshly dead and turned, so he would have been able to hang there for a minute before falling, as we saw. If it was an older zombie, shit would have just slid off. But Negan is there to shoot away any zombies that were close to Rick, because Negan needs him to alive to go back to Alexandria and tell everyone who the new leader is.

-BUT YO…….am I the only one that noticed that in this whole exchange, it would go to light, and then it would be crazy foggy? Negan said dawn was breaking, but when he threw Rick out of the camper, that shit looked like Silent Hill. Anyway, it was all ridiculous, but it’s The Walking Dead, so it is what it is. This is what I mean when I say, it’s not a well-done show. It’s not. But it’s entertaining.

-They go back to the site, and it’s light out now, officially. Negan doesn’t think Rick gets it, and really, this entire episode was all about Negan planting his flag in Rick’s group and saying, y’all are mine now. So, he gets his people to put guns to Rick’s people, and he brings Carl over to Rick, and he tells Rick that he has to cut Carl’s left arm off. Now, comic people will come out of the woodwork to tell you what this is about, and yes, I know, and we don’t care. Don’t be that person. Anyway, Rick tearfully pleads to Negan to let it be him and Carl is basically telling Rick not to be a bitch, and just do it. Man, you gotta respect Carl at this point. He told Rick to stop being a punk in what, last season, maybe the season before (it was Season 4….look at me fact-checkin’)? Negan even starts a countdown, but he doesn’t get Rick to do it, although it would have been hilarious if he did. He tells Rick that he’ll be by Alexandria next week for his first order of….um, do we even know what he wants from Alexandria? How about EVERYTHING? Let’s go with EVERYTHING.

-Negan and ’em pack up and leave, leaving what is left of that crew to sit there and think about what happened. Maggie is obviously a mess and everyone tries to console her, while Eugene and Sasha go to Rosita over Abe. Maggie keeps saying that she’s going to drag Glenn back to Alexandria and everyone is like, that’s stupid, we’ll take ’em both, Negan is a nice guy and left us a truck. So, I assume they load up the bodies and head back to Alexandria, although the last thing I remember is Maggie standing between two puddles of blood/brain/hair/whatever is left of Glenn and Abe.

-Oh, in my shitting on his existence, I almost forgot to even say what happened to Daryl. They threw his ass in a van and took him somewhere. Hopefully, to inflict pain on him. That’s it. Ol’ loud spaghetti-slurpin’ ass.

-Oh, before I forget, the dinner scene. The dream joint which is narrated by Negan, who is saying to Rick that he thought the group was going to grow old together. I hope they didn’t really think that would happen. For the rest of your life, in that world, you have to be on edge because if it ain’t Negan, it would be someone else. Glenn and Maggie at the head of the table with their son, drinking wine. Well, we have the premise for Season 24: Glenn Jr. hunts down Negan and avenges his death.

-I’m just happy it wasn’t Michonne or Maggie. Those might have been deal-breakers. Probably not, but I would have thought about it.

This was about as far as they could go in the premiere, and I hope that this isn’t the last main character we see go. The Walking Dead is the highest-rated cable show in TV history, and it was resting on its laurels a bit. It was good to see them shake shit up a bit. So next week, I assume we’ll see Carol and Morgan, the burial of Abe and Glenn, Negan making his first trip to Alexandria and hopefully, what I’m waiting for the most this season, the black guy with the dreads and the tiger. WHERE IN THE FUCK DO YOU FIND A TIGER IN THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE? That’s my man, tho.

Welcome back, The Walking Dead. May you be consistently inconsistent throughout this entire season, and I’ll be here for all of it.

 

The Walking Dead S06E15 – East

As I have said before, The Walking Dead is a show built on bad decisions. Hell, if they were making good decisions, the show probably would have lasted a solid season and a half. But with “East”, the penultimate episode of Season 6, they might have set a new bar. Let’s go…..

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-The episode starts with a montage with a female voice saying “I see you” and a bullethole in a windshield, then she says to “come out slowly” as we see the car has a flat tire. There is dripping blood, and a dude saying that “he’s going to pass on that”…a spear with blood on it, then Carol’s rosary beads on the ground, a man yelling and then a gunshot. Pretty ominous, and not subtle that shit is about to hit the fan. Subtlety has never been a strong suit of The Walking Dead.

-Carol is sewing a jacket or something, looking fed up, then she looks around and then starts packing a bag with food, so she is getting outta here. Tobin comes in the room and she throws the backpack under the bed, and he starts talking about Denise, but Carol ain’t listening at all. Me neither, Killa, me neither. She looks like she is either gon’ cry and put him in an arm triangle.

-Next is another montage, because who doesn’t love montages, and this one is set to Johnny Cash’s “It’s All Over” (shoutout to Tunefind), which is perfect for this scene. Tobin is sleeping as Carol dips out, Carl grabs a gun and stares at it, and it has something engraved on it…I even paused on it and I still don’t know what it says….I think there is a “D” in there, and he takes the gun. Maggie and Glenn are showering, and Glenn notices some bruises on her, probably from her scuffle with Alicia Witt and her shitty band of miscreants because again, taking pregnant women out on MURDERDEATHKILL missions is always something you need to do. Daryl is on his motorcycle with the “Dennis” keychain that Denise found before she got an arrow in the eye, and he looks like he’s about to do something stupid. But then we have, for me, the best part of the montage. Sasha gives Abe a cigar as they’re switching guard posts, and they’re all smiling and happy, and then Sasha catches Rosita’s eye…..ooooooooooooooooooooooh. That look Rosita gives her is so good. It’s part sadness, part “bitch I’ma fight you at some point”, and Sasha almost looks at her like, “yeah, I know it’s coming”.

-Michonne and Rick are in bed, eating an apple loudly, and I forgot this was a thing. Michonne has to get up and help Maggie, who is worried about an attack, but Rick is like, nah, we got this, which means they absolutely don’t got this and something fucked up is about to happen. Then we get to Michonne outside with Maggie and Glenn, and they’re telling her that ain’t shit gon’ happen, when they see Daryl opening the gate and leaving on his bike, so of course, they have to follow him: Glenn, Michonne and Rosita head out, and Rosita knows where he is going, she says. Then, Tobin takes Carol’s goodbye note to Rick, who leaves with Morgan of all people to go find her. Great, so we have six people gone from the group, all of whom are good-to-great fighters. If the Saviors are watching Alexandria, they’re laughing like, yo, we ain’t even have to do anything.And the best part of Carol’s note is when it says, don’t try to find me…..does she know who the hell she is talking to? Yeesh.

-Carol is driving down the road in her car with spikes coming out of it, because that’s not going to draw attention. A truck drives past her, and they shoot the tires out. They demand that she gets out of the car, and then they find out where she is coming from, which they know because they’ve seen cars with spikes out of them at Alexandria. Carol is like, man, just go away and no one needs to get hurt; basically, don’t bring the Killa out. She’s basically Bruce Banner and the Hulk at this point. When they don’t do what she says, Carol sprays them with a gun in her coat sleeve, which is what she was sewing at the beginning of the episode. There is one Savior left, or so it seems, and that is what we see during the pre-credit scene: he charges at her, there is a gunshot and that is it. The blood we see is his as she shoots him, but did he get her with his knife? MYSTERY.

-Maggie tries to get some food before her guard shift, but Enid says she’ll do it so Maggie can rest. Does Maggie not know she is pregnant? I get she wants to help, but come on, bruh.

-Morgan and Rick are driving east, which they deduced from tire tracks. Rick says that Morgan doesn’t know Carol and he doesn’t know why he is doing this, and Morgan is like, nah, we got to know each other a bit, and then he speaks in vague cliches about right and wrong and it’s getting really annoying. They get to the shootout site, where there is another Savior, but he hides while Rick and Morgan survey the scene. They see a blood trail, which they deduce is Carol’s and they start following, while the Savior comes out of the woods, grabs Carol’s beads and starts following them. Oh, Rick and Morgan killed the Savior that rushed Carol. I think that was him.

-Rosita, Michonne and Glenn to get to where Denise was killed, and they find Daryl’s bike hidden, so Rosita was right as Daryl came back to find Dwight and kill him. This seems like such a terrible idea. Glenn and Michonne want to bring him back, but Rosita thinks they should let him do what he has to do. So they track him easily enough; example #1 of Daryl being a bad tracker. But that’s just the tip of the goddamn iceberg and yeah, he shoots an arrow close enough to them to know that he knows they’re there; I don’t care. They want him to come home, but Daryl tells them that he should have killed Dwight back in “Always Accountable” (which I apparently skipped in these recaps because I think I was on holiday), and Denise would still be alive. I don’t know about that because Denise was pretty stupid and probably would have gotten herself killed anyway, but it wouldn’t have been by Dwight. So yeah, you gotta kill everyone in this world. Anyway, he leaves, Rosita is like, he’s right and goes with him, leaving Glenn and Michonne there like, the fuck just happened? But of course, Dwight and ’em come outta nowhere and surround them; example #2 of Daryl’s tracking abilities. Also, his shitty soliloquy gave the Saviors time to come up with their “surround” plan. Yeah, this all Daryl’s fault.

-Rick and Morgan continue their back-and-forth about life being precious and shit, and Morgan remembers that they threw Carol in the bushes after she killed those people at the prison, and what would happen now; Rick says they would thank her, and Morgan is like, you see what happens when you give people another chance? But that’s different, bruh; that’s Carol, not some mufucka with a W in his forehead THAT TELLS YOU, POINT BLANK, HE’S GON’ COME BACK AND KILL YOU. Why is this so hard for him to understand?  Rick is like, I’ll deal with that later as they approach a farmhouse, and they see a walker that kinda looks like Carol, but it isn’t. They reach the farmhouse and there is a dude there, and he says he is looking for his horse, and Rick is like, we’re looking for our friend. The dude peaces out, but a buncha walkers emerge and that allows him to run while Rick and Morgan fight them off. Rick thinks dude is a Savior and Morgan is like, we don’t know that….really, who cares. He also tells Rick that he had that dude in the basement, and Carol knew about it, but that Wolf saved Denise, who then saved Carl in the most roundabout fucking argument I’ve ever heard. He ain’t know that dude threatened Denise on a damn-near minutely basis and if Denise would have died, he wouldn’t have cared. Man. Fuck Morgan, b. Anyway, he tells Rick that he should go back and he’ll go after Carol, and Rick gives him a gun and he doesn’t wanna take it, but Rick is like, don’t be stupid. Rick also tells Morgan that Michonne did steal the protein bar from the premiere, “First Time Again“. Morgan is like, mufucka, I know and they laugh. I forgot about that.

-Rick gets back to Alexandria, and everyone is still gone, and the two share a moment about being afraid to get close to anyone again. Fair, but yo…..we ain’t got time for this sappy shit right now.

-Maggie gets Enid to cut her hair short, like, Carol’s length, and Maggie says she has to keep going, so I guess she needs a change. But just then, she starts screaming in pain and doubles over, and Enid starts freaking out. Maggie better not lose this baby. Sure wish there was something close to a doctor left, but oh wait, she decides to try and play warrior last week.

-Daryl and Rosita are sneaking around and they see Glenn and Michonne tied up, and he tells them to be quiet, but Glenn is obviously tryna warn him and oh wouldn’t you fucking know it, there is Dwight, behind Daryl with a gun. He pulls the trigger and says “he’ll be alright” as there is a buncha blood splatter and the episode ends. The final example of Daryl being a terrible tracker. There have been other examples in past episodes, too. He was good in the early seasons, but he is just awful in the last few. And honestly, he hope he is dead, but I’m prepared for him to be alive because after the Glenn thing, you won’t fool me again. He should be dead and Carol should be dead, and it hurts my soul to say it, but they should be and I hope they are.

-Oh yeah, before I wrap this up: Flight 462 had their 15th episode, and the pieces are finally coming together. The glass broke and the plane is going down and as they’re going through people putting on their masks, you get a quick look at a flight attendant and she doesn’t look good at all. So they’re gon’ crash in the ocean, which is where all the zombies come from in the trailer for the second season of Fear The Walking Dead (which I’m not sure if I’ma write about this season because life is busy and Game Of Thrones takes precedence….maybe I’ll break it up in five-episode recaps). That’s my guess. The last clip will air during next week’s finale.

So what do I think will happen next week? I think we should finally see Negan, who is going to kill someone. I guess if I had to rank them, I’d say Daryl is most likely, followed by Carol, Michonne and Glenn. Someone gotta die, though. I’ll be pissed if that doesn’t happen. What is Carl planning to do with that gun? Will Morgan use the gun that Rick gave him? Will the Saviors hit Alexandria now that they’re terribly outmanned? I’m not watching any trailers or anything, but I do know it’s 90 minutes. Let’s go, The Walking Dead. You’ve brought us this far with your ridiculousness. Don’t back off now.

 

The Walking Dead S06E13 – The Same Boat

The Walking Dead rolled towards the finish line of Season 6 with “The Same Boat”, and there wasn’t a lot that happened in this episode. All it did was strengthen my belief that my favorite character is probably not long for this world. Let’s go…..

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-It starts where “Not Tomorrow Yet” left off, with Carol and Maggie getting ambushed. Carol doesn’t kill the man that runs up on them, because she has a conscience now, which isn’t going to work out for her. Then they’re surrounded by the Saviors, led by Alicia Witt, whose name is Paula here, but she has been in everything. Seriously, everything. Anyway, we see Paula talking to Rick about the hostage situation.

-Maggie and Carol are taken to a cell, where they get to know the rest of Paula’s crew. They leave for a minute and Carol finds some rosary beads on the floor, while Maggie tries to at least loosen her bonds around her hands. The group returns and Carol starts hyperventilating, and Maggie is like, uhhhhhhhh, I don’t know if this is a plan or what, but sure, I’ll roll with it. Meanwhile, Carol is getting made fun of by Molly, but Carol asks her not to smoke because of Maggie’s baby. I’m not sure I would have told the group that Maggie was pregnant, but hey, she must have a plan.

-The guy that Carol shot is PISSED that Paula and ’em are letting Carol and Maggie live, and starts wylin’ out, smacking Paula and kicking Carol, until Paula gunbutts him and knocks his ass out. Paula doesn’t look like she is in control of much here. That’s one of my main issues with this episode, and really, I only have two: one is that I don’t buy Alicia Witt as the ringleader of a bad group. I’ll get to two in a bit here. Sucks, too. I’ve always liked her in stuff. I just didn’t buy it.

-Michelle, one of the Saviors, tells Maggie that she was pregnant once, and that Maggie should know that her group aren’t the good guys. Maggie is looking at her like, I didn’t say we were, but I’ll let you cook. Paula is in the other room telling Carol that she’s pathetic, which means she’s not going to make it out of this episode. Rick tries to holla at Paula to see what’s up with this hostage trade, but Paula isn’t much for talking. Carol tries to explain to Paula why her group killed those people at the outpost because Negan’s motorcycle gang tried to take Daryl, Sasha and Abe. Then Molly says some bullshit about them all being Negan, and at this point, just show the man (and I know it’s a man because of the leaked casting). This is getting annoying now. I want them all to die. Oh, and then Carol and Paula play the “well, you’re a killer too” game. You’re both killers. Stop it.

-Paula does radio Rick to set something up, but she worries that Rick and ’em are already close to, or already inside, their building. Paula and Molly leave, and Carol gets herself free, of course. Carol goes to rescue Maggie, who decides that they can’t leave anyone alive, because pregnant Maggie is in a position to make this decision. They also find that Donnie died of his gunshot from Carol and is starting to turn, and when Donnie attacks Molly, they kill her and take her gun. Meanwhile, Paula gets back to the cell and sees all the dead bodies, and is like, OH SHIT I’M NOT BUILT FOR THIS AT ALL.

-Carol and Maggie meet Paula at the hallway of death, which features a slew of impaled walkers right down the middle. Paula wastes all her bullets and doesn’t hit anyone, and Carol tells Paula to run so she doesn’t have to kill her, even Maggie is like, KILL HER. And this is issue #2: Carol is going to die. She’s getting soft and that doesn’t work out in the world of The Walking Dead. Then a walker comes out of nowhere and Maggie kills it, and then goes to fight Michelle. Why the hell is pregnant Maggie doing all this fighting? Does this bother anyone? Anyway, Michelle slashes at her stomach, but Maggie narrowly avoids it and then Carol shoots her in the head.

-Carol doesn’t want to kill an injured Paula, but Paula rushes at her and Carol has to push her into an impaled walker, which eats Paula’s face. Then Carol concocts a plan to meet the rest of the Saviors in a room, which she sets on fire in what was probably the best scene of the episode. Carol’s kill count is now, what, 25, 26? She’s getting there. Anyway, they get out of the slaughterhouse, killing a turned Paula along the way, and reunite with the group. Maggie and Glenn hug, and Daryl asks Carol if she is okay; Carol is like, NAH BRUH.

-Rick asks the guy that they have held hostage, Primo, if Negan was in there and Primo is like, I’m Negan, and Rick is like, fuck this, and shoots him. There ya go.

-Oh, before I forget, outside of the “setting everyone on fire” part, the best part of the episode was the latest clip for Fear The Walking Dead: Flight 462……oooooooooooh buddy. Only two left in that, as well. AMC is capitalizing on this like shit, and good for them.

That “I’m not okay” by Carol at the end of the episode was the most telling part. She is getting racked by guilt over all the dirt that she has done, and I think it started with Sam. I understand why she is because Carol hasn’t been a good person, but she’s still my favorite character and is now at the top of the Death Pool rankings, which is a constant revolving door. I’m just kinda bitter that an episode centered around two of my three favorite characters was just so…..I don’t know….meeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh.

So now, it’s really just a matter of who is going to die….someone is. The mission for Rick’s group is to find Negan, which I hope they do soon because this whole “we’re all Negan” shit is annoying. But there are only three episodes left in Season 6 of The Walking Dead, so we should get some answers soon.