Tag Archives: Rick

The Walking Dead S07E02 – The Well

After the insanity of the seventh-season premiere, The Walking Dead returns with “The Well”, which allows everyone to take a breather and we’re introduced to the newest community, the Kingdom, and now, we can all move on last week, right? Right.

Although I feel kinda bad for Abe…..no one cared about him hahaha….still tho, no more Glenn jokes for me. I’m so good with those.

Let’s go….

ezekiel

-So, I missed pretty much everything up to the opening credits because I was watching soccer (shoutout to Toronto FC, we’re halfway there, boys). But from what I gathered, we go back to Carol, who was shot by the Saviors at the end of last season, but is rescued by Morgan and some guys on horses. Carol, obviously a mess, goes back to sleep, wakes up, hallucinates and walks into a buncha walkers and has to be rescued again, then she sleeps for two days. Does that about cover it? This will probably happen again next week because soccer trumps The Walking Dead in these streets.

-Anyway, she wakes up and Morgan is pushing her around the Kingdom in a wheelchair, which seems like a dream because children are playing and people are laughing, basically, any community we’re introduced to this show. He says they can go back to Alexandria in a week when she is better, but he wants her to meet King Ezekiel, and yooooo……this dude is chillin’ on a throne with a big-ass tiger named Shiva. He welcomes Carol with this kingly accent, offers her some fruit because it’s fruit day and behind him is a wise-cracking Asian guard named, um, I’m not sure, but dude is pretty good. Carol, looking up in the air to find the jig, goes into Casserole Carol mode with this look on her face like, come on, dogg, this can’t be real, and refuses the pomegranate, which I don’t think I’ve ever had, but shoot, I wanted to take one. They leave and Carol is like, this place is crazy, they’re crazy and I’m out, but Morgan won’t allow it, even though he knows that if Carol wants to leave, she’ll leave.

-Ezekiel leaves with Morgan, this kid Ben, this girl (I don’t know if we got her name) and this cat named Richard, and they’re corralling pigs into a room where they eat a walker because as Richard says, they want their pigs to be filled with rot, which sounds disgusting. They run into more walkers and Ben is instructed to kill one with a machete, but he struggles and Ezekiel saves him, but he wants Morgan to keep the pig hunt a secret for whatever reason, which we’ll learn later. He also wants Morgan to train Ben with the staff because he needs to keep Ben alive. Ezekiel has taken a liking to Ben, and I have my theory about why. All I’m saying is, I run into another brotha and he got a tiger, I’m rollin’ with him. But that’s too many of us on the show now, so someone gotta go.

-I think it was also here that Morgan tells Ezekiel that he could have saved the Savior that he shot to save Carol, and I’m not really here for another season of Morgan tryna save everyone. You saved Carol, that’s important. These Saviors ain’t shit, bruh. They’re too far gone. This dude will really try to have a non-violent sitdown with Negan, and I’d love to see how that would go down.

-Anyway, this awful choir sings through this montage of Morgan training Ben, Ezekiel watching, and Carol wheelin’ around, stealing clothes and knives, both of which were amazing. The knife was sitting on a table and she rolled by it, and then you see this hand just yoink that shit off the table, but we just see the hand and I actually laughed out loud. Then the clothes, she basically told this man to look over there, and put the clothes under her blanket. I think she might have sighed when she did it too, like, y’all mufuckas are stupid.

-Ben wants to read Morgan’s “Art Of Peace” book, then Ezekiel tells them to come on this run and Richard tells Morgan to bring his gun, which I didn’t think he had. They go to meet a group of Saviors and it turns out the pigs were for them because the Kingdom is also on this pay-as-you-go-or-you-die plan with the Saviors, who are just runnin’ everyone’s pockets outchea in these streets. One of the Saviors picks a fight with Richard, who could easily destroy this guy, but Ezekiel tells him to stand down and Richard just takes two shots from the Savior until their leader, Gavin, who I’m pretty sure we met last season, tells him to stop. Anyway, this is meat week and next is produce week, and Gavin warns Ezekiel that if he gets less than what is on his list, Richard is the first to die. Jokes on y’all, tho…..you’re eating walker bacon…..walker pork chops…..all that shit. And that CAN’T be good for the digestive tract. Oh, and the girl that went with them earlier, her name is Dianne, apparently.

-They get back to the Kingdom and over dinner, we learn that Ben has a younger brother and their father was here, but he died while clearing out a building with walkers, and I bet that is absolutely not what happened, but what Ezekiel told him. Ben also says that Ezekiel is hiding this deal from the Saviors because if he told the Kingdom, they’d wanna fight and well, I don’t think they know this yet, but they’re definitely not built for that shit in the slightest. Then he asks Morgan if he is against killing and Morgan is like, sometimes, we change our minds…..word, Morgan? See, and this is just it…you gotta kill in the zombie apocalypse. You just gotta. You don’t have to like it, in fact, it’s kinda weird if you do. But you gotta kill. You’re not saving the Saviors. They all gotta die. But he knows them and now he has the Kingdom, and they’re all gon’ team up with Rick and ’em and bring down Negan, so it’s just a matter of how they get there.

-Shoutout to the Fear The Walking Dead commercial snippets that are back. This series is called Passage and so far, some girl is following another girl towards, well, I’m not sure yet. It’s all very vague and they seem to be hiding in some sort of test compound, and they’ll flesh it out. Flight 462 from last season was so much better than the actual Fear TWD, and I expect this to be good as well, and then we’ll get to Fear and it’ll be terrible.

-Morgan goes to bring Carol some food, but she’s long gone. She is out in the garden, stealing fruit and she is caught by Ezekiel and that guard, who chucks up the deuces as he leaves and man, he’s pretty damn good. But we learn that Ezekiel knows Carol is faking her act because as he says, you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. Ezekiel drops the accent and sounds like he might have ad-libs on a Southern rap record, and he used to be a zookeeper before everything went down. Basically he rolled up on this community with a tiger and they had no leader, so Ezekiel (which is actually his name) threw on this accent because he did a little acting, and he assumed the role because people want to feel safe…..and I bet it was largely because he had a tiger that didn’t want to eat him (he saved Shiva from bleeding to death, so the tiger is down with him). And you know, he is right. Same shit happened in Alexandria, same shit happened with the Woodbury and the Governor, and I bet the same shit happened with Negan and the Saviors. Someone has to step up and lead. So why not the dude with the tiger?

-HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THE DUDE HAS A TIGER THO?

-Carol thinks it’s all some bullshit, but I think she comes to respect Ezekiel a little bit. Still, she wants to go and Ezekiel is like, cool, but I think I have a solution where she goes, but she doesn’t. The house from the beginning was a caretaker’s cottage, so it’s not on Kingdom property, but it’s close enough. Morgan takes her out there and tells her that she is one of his favorite people that he ever knocked out, so that’s nice. Carol goes into the house and kills the Old Woman Walker that almost got her at the beginning, and then she makes a fire. Ezekiel comes by with a pomegranate and she smiles……and if there is one thing The Walking Dead is here for, it’s interracial relationships. We got Rick and Michonne, there was Sasha and Abe, Abe and Rosita, Glenn and Maggie, Tyreese and Karen, if she wouldn’t have been stupid and tried to stab that cop, there would have been Beth and Noah….anyway, you get the point…..keep an eye on that.

I was excited for the Kingdom basically since I saw a preseason trailer with Ezekiel, and I kinda wish that they would stay here for a couple episodes, but there is no time for that. I think next week is about fuckass Daryl, probably not dying, and unless he’s dying, I don’t care. They’ll probably split that with Rick and ’em, and not even Rick, I wanna see how Maggie is doing. Anyway, I think we have everyone that we need to know on board, so the march to the midseason finale of The Walking Dead really begins.

The Walking Dead S06E16 – Last Day On Earth

Season 6 came to an end on The Walking Dead with “Last Day On Earth”, a plodding, ominous beast of an episode. I thank my terrible attention span because I was doing other shit while it was on, which is why I wasn’t as mad as some of y’all were. Can’t be outchea being engrossed by this shit. After six seasons, y’all don’t know yet? Let’s go……

jeffrey-dean-morgan-brought-negan-to-frightful

-We open from the point of view of someone in a box, with streams of light coming in. It reminds me of when they were in the container at Terminus, so it’s pretty easy to assume it’s the dumbasses that got caught because Daryl is a shitty tracker. Morgan finds a horse, probably belonging to the person at the farmhouse. Horses don’t last long in The Walking Dead. Then we have the dude that has Carol’s rosary beads, looking like he is about to turn, and he is a better tracker than Daryl. Next, we have a man running through the woods, with some whistling going on around him. Carl argues with Enid about her coming on this mission to take Maggie to the Hilltop, to a doctor. Meanwhile, the Saviors surround the man, and Rick assembles the crew, who does a lot of talking, but I don’t pay attention.

-The Saviors tell the man they were chasing that rules were broken and people had to die because of it, so it wasn’t their fault. There isn’t much explaining of the rules, but you can bet that the rules were basically, listen to us to die. Or some version of that. Not very complex, that is for sure. Meanwhile, to get Enid not to come on the mission, Carl locks her in a closet and then tells her to just survive somehow. Bruh, you locked me in a fucking closet, how in the hell am I supposed to get out? It’s about to be that kind of episode. Mufuckas about to act real good and stupid.

-Rick lets Aaron join the group, and apparently Father Bitchass is in charge while he is gone. That sounds like it should go on the pantheon of Rick’s bad ideas. First things first….why can’t you just go and get the doctor and bring that person there? Why are you leaving Alexandria completely unattended? Everyone that is worth a damn is gone. Your best bet was pregnant Maggie.

-Gallopin’ Morgan finds Carol huddled on a stoop, and she got cut in her scuffle with the dude from last episode. The Saviors drag this poor man, who is basically a human pinata for them, into the road, and the leader says they’re making an example of him. The man asks to who since his people are all dead, and gets kicked in the back for his troubles. Rick’s group is trying to keep Maggie calm in the RV, and I forgot she cut her hair. Morgan plays doctor with Carol (not that way, pervs) so they can go back to Alexandria, but Carol doesn’t want to. Of course, Morgan is stubborn and doesn’t fucking listen to anyone, so she might as well stop fighting.

-The RV meets up with the Savior group, who are standing in the middle of the road. Rick offers to make a deal and dude is like, how about you give us your shit and we don’t kill you, and Rick is like, eh, we’ll just leave. The two go back and forth about this being one of their last day on Earth, hence the name of the episode. All I hear is Mase’s “24 Hours to Live” in the background. Round 1 goes to the Saviors, because Rick was like, we don’t want those problems.

-After commercial, we go to the box with the light streams and the heavy breathing, so this will pop up a couple more times in the episode. In the RV, Carl asks Aaron why he is here and he says he owes Maggie, while Carl says he owes the Saviors. Again, selfish motives ruining the group. At least Rick is selfish with a plan, these mufuckas are just runnin’ around all willy-nilly. Carol is telling Morgan how she cares about the group, and is willing to kill for them, but she doesn’t want to kill anymore, so she had to leave. She points a gun at him, but Carol is tired. And I get what she is saying, but man, you gotta tell them first, you know that they’re going to come after you, and here we are, with no one at Alexandria, and everybody about to die.

-Abe tells Sasha that he is ready to bring new life into the world, and she smiles at a dumb fucking idea. Are you serious? That is exactly what you need. A fucking baby in a zombie apocalypse. I thought Maggie and Glenn’s baby was a bad idea, too. But then, they run into another group of Saviors, this time, there are more of them, and they turn around as one of the Saviors busts his gun into the air. It’s probably about this point where they should be thinking of an alternate plan.

-Morgan finds a walker hanging from something and decides to kill it and cut it down. Really, bruh? Compassion for fucking zombies? I’m so done with this dude. And he left Carol, who runs away, so now he has to go find her again. What was he even doing?

-The RV gets to another roadblock, this time, with a line of walkers chained to each other, which means there was some work put into this one. Then they notice that one of the walkers has two of Michonne’s dreadlocks, and another has bolts from Daryl’s crossbow, so yeah, these people are better at this than y’all. The Saviors start shooting from the woods and the group peaces out in the RV. But they realize that the Saviors were shooting at their feet; they would be dead if they wanted them to be.

-Preview of Fear The Walking Dead: zombies in the water, and I assume that is Strand’s place that is on fire. Sure. I’ll watch this.

-The RV is starting to break down, and Rick tells Maggie (whose condition is getting worse) that they’re fine, but his faces are so good. When they get to yet another roadblock, this time, one with like, 35-40 people, his face says, oh man we are so fucked right now, Saviors outchea lookin’ like a rap-album cover from 1994.

-Meanwhile, Morgan is gallopin’ down the street and finds Carol’s beads by a freshly-killed walker. Carol is walking along and gets caught by the hurt Savior, but not before she fights off a walker and tears its face off. The hurt Savior fucks her up pretty good, and he has a gun, so he shoots her in arm, and the leg, because he wants to watch her die before he dies.

-Again, we get the box, then Rick comforting Maggie, but looking like he is going to pee himself at the thought of what is next. And I just thought of something: at this point, how do they even know that the doctor at the Hilltop (I just remembered he had that ultrasound machine because who doesn’t have an ultrasound machine?) is still alive? After meeting the Saviors, I assume everyone is dead outchea in these streets.

-Then Morgan, of course, comes out of nowhere and shoots the man all to hell and Carol is like, MOTHERFUCKER WILL YOU JUST LET ME DIE FOR FUCK SAKES. But they survive and then, well, shoutout to the homegirl Holly for this: “speaking of, who the fuck were those storm trooper dudes that Morgan met up with ?”. Mufuckas on horses dressed like Star Wars characters come around the corner, say they’ll help Morgan, mufuckas shake hands and walk off. Hahahaha the writers just don’t care anymore. And they shouldn’t. Because we’ll still watch it.

-Rick and ’em get to a big-ass log roadblock, and then the man that the Saviors are fuckin’ with, they hang him from a bridge. Aaron wants to shoot him down, but Rick says they need to conserve bullets and quite frankly, who the hell is this guy? At this point, he probably wants to die anyway. Then the logs are set on fire and the Savior from earlier says some more shit about this being the last day on Earth for someone in Rick’s group. Rick and ’em are like, man, fuck this, and peace out.

-They try to come up with a plan and Eugene says they should go on foot because they were looking for the RV. So this is the plan: Eugene drives the empty RV to lure the Saviors. Hahahaha what? And then what? Did you see how many of the Saviors there were? They’re probably watching you RIGHT NOW. HOLY SHIT. This is not gon’ end well. Eugene gives Rick the recipe for making bullets, and they all pump him up, telling him he is a survivor. What in the name of Destiny Child’s is going on here?

-The next commercial is the conclusion of Flight 462, which is a scene from Fear TWD last season as Nick looks up in the sky and sees a plane flying all screwy. He’s like, hmmm….that’s interesting. Shoutout to the flight attendant that takes her oxygen mask off and looks like she’s ready to eat.

-They put Maggie on a stretcher (WHERE IN THE FUCK DID THEY GET A STRETCHER) and leave Eugene to go and get caught. The group is walking through the woods, and they hear the whistles, and basically run right into the middle of all the Saviors, who have Eugene. They get their shit taken and they get on their knees. The box that we have been seeing all episode is actually a van, and Dwight gets out, along with Glenn, Michonne, Rosita and Daryl, who is shot, but still alive, for fuck sakes. Someone needs to explain to me why y’all love this dude so much. I really don’t get it. I never have.

-Then we get to the best part: we finally meet Negan, who has a scarf on, what is it called, an ascot? Something like that. Anyway, he also has a bat wrapped in barbed wire; so this is the Lucille that I’ve been hearing about and yup, it’s a bat wrapped in barbed wire alright. His speech rambles on, and it’s fine, after waiting this long to meet him, he can talk for as long as he wants and it’s not like anyone can say shit to him. He tells the group that they’re only still living so they can work for them, and the rules are the same that the Savior said earlier: their shit is his shit. He says “shit” a lot, which I respect as it is my favorite curse word. But Negan also says that someone has to pay because some of his men have died, and at this point, I’m like, alright, let’s do this. Glenn tries to be the big man and protect Maggie, and that shit gets shot down with the quickness. He does the eeny-meeny-miny-moe thing with the group to see who is going to get to party with Lucille, and then gets to the moe…..but we don’t see who gets it. All we see is the blood dripping down the camera, and Negan saying, you’re taking it like a champ. A couple more swings, fade to black, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd scene.

-So, people are mad about the end, but me, I liked it. I like not knowing who it is that got the business end of Lucille, and guessing throughout the off-season. I know some comic readers are going to be pressed to tell us what happens, and I’ve already read it. But the way that TWD works, you really don’t know because they’ve gone so far off the comics already. Still, don’t be a pressed asshole. We know the comics are out there and can read it ourselves if we want. No one cares, b.

-Negan was great. That was well worth the wait. He is probably already the best villain of the show so far. Yep, better than the Governor.

-The episode dragged, for sure, but AMC had to get that advertising money. Because SOMEONE has to pay to keep Better Call Saul (which is GREAT, by the way) on, and all these other new shows.

-Why are y’all are so pressed for Daryl. Is it shallow eye candy (which I approve of, shoutout to Alyssa Milano’s career)? Because he doesn’t do anything.

-I want Glenn or Daryl to be gone. Actually, anyone but Michonne.

And thus ends another season of The Walking Dead. Listen…..it’s not good. It has flashes here and there, where you can tell they really try to give the characters something good, like 2-3 episodes a season. But overall, the audience doesn’t care about those episodes and want to see death and murderkillviolence and walkers and Negan and such…..so why bother? And now people get mad at this? Psssssssh. AMC is going to do what they’re going to do, and we’re going to watch. If I were you, I’d get off the train right now because if you think it’s going to get better, it’s not. Just appreciate it for what it is, not what it isn’t. It’s frustrating, it’s entertaining, it’s a mess and we’ll watch next season because why the hell not?

That being said, I’m drawing the line at ten seasons. Unless there are dragons and nudity. Then I’m in for as long as it takes.

The Walking Dead S06E05 – Now

Through the first quarter of Season 6, the theme of The Walking Dead seems to be about how not ready the Alexandria people are for these streets. “Now” sees them coming around a little bit, and they better, because there are thousands of zombies knocking at the door….and they might be the least of their worries. Let’s go….

-We open with Deanna, surveying the damage of the Wolves running wild on them, while Michonne tells Maggie that Glenn and Nicholas didn’t make it back, but he would send a signal of some sort if they got into trouble. No signal yet. They’re really doing a lot to make us think Glenn is dead. I’ma be so damn mad when he comes back. Like, furious.

-Out of nowhere, Rick starts yelling to open the gate as he runs through a few walkers like Adrian Peterson, while Deanna sits there with this dumbass look on her face. Michonne opens it and Rick gets through in the nick of time, while Deanna still stands there, stunned, and this dude is behind her with his fists up like he’s about to do something. Man, go sit your ass down somewhere.

-Rick tries to talk the Alexandrians down because they’ve seen some shit now, between the walkers and the Wolves, but some of them still don’t get it. Aaron tells them that the Wolves knew everything about them because he lost his backpack, and that the walkers were going to show up there anyway, Rick just got them prepared. Seriously, anyone who isn’t on board at this point, walk their ass up the wall and throw ’em to the walkers. What more do they have to see to figure out that this is what it is now? Meanwhile, Deanna is still walking around, not knowing what is going on. I think we all know who is running the show here now.

-Is it just me or does Aaron look like a homeless Justin Timberlake? Like, young Timberlake, but down on his luck?

-Jessie takes the Wolf that she killed to the graveyard, but Rick stops her because they don’t bury killers inside the walls, shoutout to her ex-husband. Meanwhile, the rest of the natives are getting restless and are tryna raid the food, because they’re gon’ die anyway. Spencer, Deanna’s son, talks them out of it, but you know something? They’d all have more food if some of them just died. Easy solution. What a whiny bunch, man. And poor Olivia. Carol needs to be guarding that shit.

-Aaron walks by Maggie, who is putting something together to, I assume, go looking for Glenn, and then he walks to the wall, where Alexandrians are writing the names of the dead. Glenn and Nicholas are on there. They are selling the shit outta this, yo. Anyway, he finds Maggie in the armory and yep, she’s going to look for Glenn, but Aaron is wracked by guilt because his photos led the Wolves there, so he is going with her. He has another way out of Alexandria, and it’s underground. Nothing bad can happen here.

-Deanna finally comes around as she looks at Reg’s wedding ring, and she takes out his map to start figuring out how they’re going to re-design this place. But then she runs into Spencer, who is drunk and berates her for fooling the community into thinking that everything was okay, and blames her for the deaths of Reg and Aiden. Look, Reg’s death was kind of an accident, and dude, your brother was an asshole that had to die anyway. You’re getting there, too, by the way. She goes back into her daze, and Spencer jumps to the top of the death-wish list, a spot formerly held by Nicholas.

-Carl tries to talk to Ron about Enid, and we learn that Enid was Ron’s girlfriend or whatever the hell you have as a teenager in the zombie apocalypse. Ron sulks and says that he won’t help find her, and threatens to tell Rick if Carl goes out there. Then they grab each other and Carl throws Ron to the ground so easy in the funniest moment of the episode. Man, Carl been out here fighting walkers since he was like, nine. Fuck is Ron’s bitch ass about to do?

-Denise is still learning to be a surgeon as Scott is dying of some sort of infection from the wound he suffered out there with Michonne and ’em, and she’s getting frustrated, and Tara tries to encourage her, I think. I zoned out for this entire scene twice. Now that there will be no Glenn/Maggie/Tara threesome, I don’t care about her anymore.

-Jessie is walking by a house when she sees a walker inside, apparently her name is Betsy, and Betsy died because she slit her wrists. A group of people stand around while Jessie kills her, and they have the nerve to look at her like she’s crazy. Jessie tells them that if they don’t fight, they die, like Rick told her last season. Rick and ’em should have just killed them all when they got there.

-Aaron leads Maggie to the sewers, and even though she is against it, he goes with her, which makes sense since she doesn’t know where she is going. They’re walking along and Aaron is telling her how guilty he feels about the Wolves finding his backpack, when they run into sewer walkers…..so now we have rock-quarry walkers, fire walkers and sewer walkers. It has been a great season for walkers so far. Anyway, of course they get away from them and continue on their way, and Maggie tries to tell Aaron to go back because he cut his head, but he doesn’t and again, she still doesn’t know where she is going.

-Denise has a Eureka moment with her studies as she injects saline into Scott’s IV and his heart rate stabilizes. I’m not sure how medicine works and if it does it that quickly, but hey, I’ll let this slide because there are bigger fish to fry in this show, and Denise is happy as shit.

-Rick is still tryna get a hold of Daryl, Abraham and Sasha when Ron walks up to him and snitches on Carl for wanting to go and look for Enid. Then he asks Rick to teach him how to shoot. Mmmmmhmmmm, Ron is plottin’. I told y’all, he’s gon’ shoot Carl because he can’t fight, but Rick can’t see that because he’s tryna fuck Ron’s mom.

-Denise walks up to Tara and kisses her. Alright, so maybe there is a threesome still in the cards somewhere in this show?

-Aaron and Maggie get to the end of the tunnel, and Aaron volunteers to go out, but Maggie yells at him to stop, which draws the walkers there, so no one is going out there now. Maggie tells Aaron that she is pregnant, which I missed on the first watch until the end of the episode, and Maggie seems to come to grips with the idea that Glenn is dead as they continue to sell it. They hug, there are walkers in the background, it’s all very heartwarming.

-Jessie tries to give Sam, the youngest kid, a sandwich, but he won’t come downstairs because nothing has changed up there….basically, he won’t come downstairs because he watched his mother kill someone down there. Poor Sam, between that and Carol threatening him, someone needs to give this kid a cookie.

-Deanna is walking around outside, in the dark at night, by herself, and she’s attacked by a walker, or a Wolf that turned. I was wondering about all of the dead bodies…are they going to turn? Betsy did, this Wolf did…..shouldn’t they burn these mufuckas or something? Stab everyone in the head? Anyway, she fights it off, but she stabs it with a broken bottle repeatedly in the chest, and Rick walks up, one to the head and boom, it’s over. Mufuckas don’t learn anything in this show. Deanna is covered in blood and basically turns over the town to Rick, who insists she still needs to lead, but man, she’s not built for this, none of them are. She wonders if her vision for Alexandria was too idealistic and he says no, but it’s a lie. Yes, it was.

-Maggie and Aaron are erasing Glenn and Nicholas’ names from the wall, and Aaron jokes that his name is good for a boy or a girl. That’s when my ears perked up the first time like, uhhhhh, did I miss something?

-Spencer relieves Rosa from the lookout spot, and I forgot she was still around. She thanks him for taking out the Wolves’ truck, which helped keep the wall standing, but I can’t remember if he had much to do with it. Meanwhile, Rick rolls up on Jessie in her garage and admits to her that the others should have been back by now. They end up kissing in the least surprising thing to happen in this episode.

-Deanna walks along the wall and the walkers are banging on one side, and she bangs back because she’s ready to fight now. Yeah, okay. But as she walks away, we see (she doesn’t) that blood is leaking through, so the wall is starting to crack. Mufuckas won’t be long for Alexandria now.

I’ma say that this was the worst episode of the season so far, not because it wasn’t good, but everyone just annoyed me. The Alexandrians are too slow to figure this shit out, and I’ll be happy when the rest of them go. The Glenn thing is hanging over the show and it’s really pissing me off. And now they’re going to Daryl, Sasha and Abe next episode, while we don’t know what’s going on with Carol, so they’re doing the The Walking Dead thing where everyone is kinda split up, and that’s not when the show is at its best. With three episodes to go until the midseason break, can they get back on track? We’ll see next Sunday.

The Walking Dead S06E03 – Thank You

Only three episodes into the sixth season of The Walking Dead, there are a lot of moving parts, and a lot of things can happen. “Thank You” is a huge game-changer and it’s going to be interesting how things go moving forward. See how I did that without being a spoiler? It’s not that fucking hard. Let’s go………

-We open with Rick, Glenn, Michonne and the rest of the crew heading back to Alexandria after hearing that horn from the end of “First Time Again“, and of course, we saw what caused the horn to sound off in “JSS“. Rick is in Ricktatorship mode, telling Daryl, Sasha and Abe to continue leading their portion of the walker herd away, while he tells Glenn and Michoone that he is going to grab the RV to redirect the rest of the herd the other way. He also tells Michonne that all of the Alexandrians aren’t gon’ make it and to keep going if anyone can’t keep up, and of course, Heath, homeboy with the braids, overhears. And guess what? Rick is right. These first three episodes have been a study in the Alexandrians not getting it. But more on that later.

-And on cue, one of the Alexandrians gets grabbed by a walker and dies, and after killing the walker, Michonne stabs the guy in the head with her sword. Rick pats him down, grabs an energy bar and his gun and goes on his way, while the rest of the Alexandrians are stunned as shit. A couple things here: good on Rick, not wasting supplies. Two, these walkers aren’t smart or fast…..how in the hell are Alexandrians getting caught up like that? These mufuckas are children. Actually, I won’t even diss children like that. The horn stopped, though, so that is encouraging.

-The group rolls on before encountering more walkers, and really, Glenn and Michonne could have just hung back and handled it. But naaaaaaaaaaaah, the Alexandrians wanna get involved, one of them pulls a gun out and is shook, and ends up shooting one of his people in the leg. Nicholas freezes because he is a well-known fuckboy, and another one, David is his name, apparently, gets bitten on the shoulder. Oh, and Glenn has to carry this girl who was running and twisted her ankle. These mufuckas, bruh. I’m not saying I would be Rambo in the zombie apocalypse, but holy shit, come on, dogg. At least give yourself a chance.

-Daryl tells Abe and Sasha that he is going back to help with Alexandria and while they try to tell him to stick with the plan, Daryl doesn’t give a damn and leaves anyway. Daryl has been kinda on the fence since they got to Alexandria and really, I thought he’d just drive off by himself, away from everyone. He hasn’t been the same since Beth died. Shoot, he has probably taken it harder than Maggie. I keep saying I’ma let that slide, but I’m really not gonna.

-The group continues to walk, and David looks at his shoulder, and Michonne is like, we need to kill this mufucka SOON. He wants to see his wife one last time, but it doesn’t look promising. They get to a town and they figure out that it’s the place where Nicholas and Aiden made the run that got their people killed, so at least they know their way around. They want to stop and find some treatment for Scott’s gunshot wound, and Glenn is skeptical of stopping, but Michonne figures that they have a little time ahead of the herd. Nah, bruh. You should keep going. But Michonne is deadly with her sword, so you listen to her.

-As they’re going through the town, they run into the kid that shot Scott and ran off and well, he’s walker food now, so fuck him. Nicholas freezes again and Glenn has to make him snap out of it, and then they run into more walkers, so they run into a pet store to get away. Glenn’s plan is to get to a building and set it on fire to distract the herd, and Nicholas knows just the place. Meanwhile, Heath makes a couple smart remarks and Michonne looks at him like, the fuck did you say? She also offers to go because Glenn has Maggie, but he says that is why he is doing it. Oh Lawd.

-Glenn radios his plan to Rick, who is sprinting down the road and man, his stamina is incredible. He then runs into three walkers, who stop eating and while Glenn is telling him the plan, Rick kills all of them. But he looks at his hand like he has arthritis or something, and I vaguely remember something about his hand bothering him from the past.

-Annie and Scott basically tell the rest of the group to leave them behind, but Heath isn’t having it and gives Michonne a dirty look and oooooooooh, buddy….you don’t wanna do this. Michonne runs up on him like Ice Cube in Boyz N The Hood on some “WE GOT A PROBLEM, HERE” shit and Heath tells her that he overheard what Rick said. Michonne basically tells him that he has no idea what it’s like outchea in these streets, and his little supply runs don’t mean shit. Rick has been out here surviving, she has been out here surviving, and that Heath has never been covered in so much blood, you don’t know if it’s yours, the walkers and your friends. Basically, you don’t have a choice how you get to live this life anymore. You do what you gotta do or you die…..Glenn told him that in the first episode. Heath gotta die, bruh. I DARE him to go at Michonne; she would light his ass up.

-Glenn and Nicholas are wandering around, and they come across a walker that Nicholas recognizes as someone from his ill-fated run with Aiden, and it takes him a while, but he manages to suck it up and kill it. Then they hear gunshots coming from Alexandria, so yo, they gotta be close.

-The group is in the pet store, tryna figure out a way to get out while Rick gets to the RV. In the pet store, David is writing a goodbye note to his wife, but Michonne won’t take it as she writes on her hand that he is getting home. They’re tryna be quiet because quite a herd of walkers are walking past the store, and then, a couple of walkers that are inside the store start banging on a door, so they have to kill them. However, the walkers outside hear the noise and they start coming, so they have to get out NOW.

-So they rush out of the pet store and start to run away, but Annie falls, as she is prone to do apparently, and gets eaten. Glenn and Nicholas get to the store that Nicholas suggested they burn, but it has already been burned, so they need a Plan B and of course, Nicholas freezes AGAIN. Glenn, man….just kill this dude, he don’t even wanna live. But they continue on, while the other group get to a gate that they all have to climb, one by one, and Michonne and David are the last two. The walkers are getting closer and get their hands on the pair, while Glenn and Nicholas are trapped in an alley and they get up on a dumpster. Michonne gets away of course, but yeah….not David. Not even close. He was gon’ die anyway. These things happen.

-Nicholas is looking around at these walkers and instead of tryna figure out a way to get out of it, he shoots himself in the head in front of Glenn, who tries to catch his body….but Glenn falls over with the body and yeah……death pool win for me. I called Glenn dying this season because, here is the thing: you CAN’T be a nice guy in the zombie apocalypse. You just can’t. I mean, you can, but you won’t last. I’m surprised Glenn lasted this long, to be honest. But this could have been avoided a few ways. Glenn could have killed Nicholas like, 14 times. Why did Glenn even try to catch the body? He could have just let it drop and let them feast on Nicholas, and maybe gotten away another way. Not likely because there was a BUNCH of walkers, but it was stupid the way that he died. Anyway, I watched it once. The second time through, I had to fast-forward. Bye, Pizza Boy. You were a good dude.

-Michonne, Heath and Scott limp through the woods and as they cross a creek, Heath sees that he is covered in blood and he gets what Michonne is talking about. Yeah, dogg….it gets tres fucking real in these streets, so stop bitching about what choices you think you have the right to make. Fuck yo’ rights.

-Rick stops the RV and gets to where Glenn told him to go, but Glenn isn’t responding on the radio, and he’s like, hmmmmmm. Then he tells Daryl about the plan, but Daryl is just drivin’, bruh. I don’t even know where at this point. But Rick gets jumped in the RV by a person, which turns into two people, and after a struggle, Rick shoots them both. Then he looks outside to see that there is more….and it’s the group of Wolves that Morgan let free. Rick grabs an assault rifle and just mows everyone down, and yo…..that’s how it is done now. You kill first, and ask questions later. But nnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooo……..mufuckas want to talk and negotiate. Fuck outta here, b.

-I think Daryl is going back to Abe and Sasha?

-Michonne and ’em get back to Alexandria, where she sees shit burned down and pulls out her sword because she knows something is up.

-Yeah, Daryl has rejoined Abe and Sasha to lead the herd away. Meanwhile, Rick tries to start the RV, but no luck. He better figure it out soon, though, because a herd comes out of the forest and starts to surround the RV.

Getting it spoiled for me was a letdown, but it was still a very good episode of The Walking Dead as the Alexandrians should all know how shit has to be now. Really, if Rick hadn’t come up with this plan, they would have been prepared even worse, and none of them would have survived. But now Rick has to get out of this jam (he will), I have no idea how far Daryl and ’em are from Alexandria, but they gotta get back. Next week’s preview was focused on Morgan, so we should be able to figure out why he’s on some peace shit now, and that episode will probably end with either Rick, or Michonne getting back to Alexandria.  But I’m waiting to see Maggie. First Herschel, then Beth, and now Glenn. She is going to be motherfucking LIVID. I want Nicholas to come back to life so she can fuck him up.

The Walking Dead is off to a wild and outstanding start this season. I doubt it’ll continue because there will be a lull at some point, but so far, so good.

 

The Walking Dead S05E07 – Crossed

We hit the penultimate episode of The Walking Dead‘s half-season with everything in front of us. The mission: rescue Killa Carol and Beth from the hospital, which is being guarded by one half-decent cop in my estimation. “Crossed”, however, was a bit underwhelming. I didn’t hate it, but I certainly didn’t love it. Let’s go….

-The group is at the church, fortifying it for, well, anything. Sasha is chopping up church pews, working out some of her frustration over BBQ Bob’s death. Gabriel says to Daryl, who is grabbing some steel beams, “Y’all gon use the crosses next?” and Daryl replies, “if we need them”. He also walks in on a crying Judith like he’s gon’ do something with her, then he starts tryna scratch the bloodstains from the Terminus massacre off the floor. More on Gabriel in a bit, but this cat is not trustworthy at all.

-Rick doesn’t want leave Carl and Judith at the church, but he feels like he owes Carol for saving them at Terminus, so he is going. So are Tyreese and Sasha, if Tyreese can ever stop tryna talk about feelings and shit. Leave her alone, she’ll be aight once she kills a mufucka or two.

-Eugene is still knocked out like Deebo in “Friday”, and Abraham is still on his knees looking into the distance. That is, until Rosa yells at him and he stands up right quick and she’s like, probably shouldn’t have done that. Maggie puts the gun on him, though, and you know she woulda killed him if she had to.

-Carl is tryna explain to Gabriel that he needs to know to use a weapon, so Gabriel chooses a machete. Older Carl has moved up the ranks with the quickness, but Gabriel ain’t built for this unless he is one helluva actor.

-Rick is putting together his plan to get to the hospital, which involves a lot of gun-buckin’ and of course, Tyreese is tryna do it on some peaceful shit. Daryl is going along with it too, but you never know with him because he’ll leave a person under a bookshelf for a walker in a minute, then escape with him. Rick agrees, but you know he won’t hesitate to bust his gun.

-Back at the hospital, a cop is tryna convince Dawn to stop wasting resources on Carol, who has only been there a day. Dawn agrees and Beth is like, this dude is charging DVDs like shit is a Best Buy, and you wanna kill this woman? Then the cop leaves and Dawn admits that she isn’t in control, but she does give Beth a key to the drug locker that has something that will help Carol. Dawn ain’t shit, and Beth better get to slap her at least once.

-Glenn, Tara and Rosa decide to go and get water, and leaving Maggie with a large, angry man on whom she pulled a gun on seems like an awful idea. That being said, Maggie tells Abe to get over himself and he isn’t the only one to lose something today. She hasn’t done a lot outside of not give a damn about her sister, but Maggie has had a couple memorable lines so far.

-Beth goes to the doctor and asks for the name of the stuff that’ll help Carol, and after a minute, he tells her. But can she even trust this dude, he has lied to her before.

-Glenn, Tara and Rosa are chillin’ by the stream, and we learn that Rosa met up with Abe in Dallas and asked for her help, so she rolled with him and Eugene. Dallas to DC through Atlanta seems like a roundabout route, but I guess you do what you gotta do in the zombie apocalypse.

-Rick and his people execute the plan, using Noah as bait and they roll up on two cops, one of who knows Rick was a cop from the way he carried himself. I forget Rick was a cop myself, but it turns out he was right because a car comes out of nowhere and starts to shooting at them to rescue the cops. After a brief chase, they find the car abandoned amongst a slew of walkers that have been melted into the ground. The zombie budget has been one of the best parts of The Walking Dead this half-season.

-Of course, Daryl decides to hang back and check a trailer as the group advances and gets tackled by a cop. They fight and the cop is getting the upper hand, and the walkers are getting closer to Daryl, who grabs one of them by the eyes, rips his head off and hits the cop with it. That has to be the zombie kill of the half-season, right? Then Rick shoots a walker in the head and pulls the gun on the cop. He wants to kill him, but good Daryl tells him not to and Rick obliges. He needs to stop listening to people.

-So now they have three hostages, and one of the cops are telling Rick about Dawn and how to talk to her. This lightskin dude is pretty convincing and I trust him, which means something bad is about to happen. You’d think I would learn after five seasons.

-Meanwhile, Glenn and ’em are filtering water through clothes and tryna catch fish. They’re successful and I don’t care. Tara finds a yo-yo and she’s partyin’. This shit is a waste of time.

-Michonne is tryna talk to Gabriel, who won’t come out of his room and we learn that he is using the machete to take out the floorboards. Whatcha hidin’, bruh?

-Here comes my favorite part of the episode. Beth bribes an old man with strawberries to fake like he can’t breathe so she can sneak in and grab the drugs for Carol. This old man drops to the floor and attracts four cops who don’t even notice Beth in there or when she walks out. But the old man does because he all but asks her, you done in there and damn near winks, and as soon she leaves, he’s like, I’m good now, y’all. It was so ridiculous and good. They seem to be trying really hard to change the perception of Beth, and I get it, they’re just terrible at it. Anyway, she gets the drugs to Carol, and now we wait.

-Tyreese is still tryna talk to Sasha and soften her up at the worst possible time. Dude, stick to the task at hand. No time for shook ones now. I’m thisclose to wishing death on Tyreese.

-Gabriel takes out the floorboards and crawls out through the bottom of the church for some reason. He literally takes one step and it is on a nail, which is fitting. He pulls it out and keeps going and hears something, and it is a walker. They fight for a bit before he slams her on a stick and is about to throw a rock on her head before he notices a cross on her chain. Someone from his congregation, perhaps? Either way, we get another example of Gabriel not being built for this.

-Maggie asks Abe if he wanted her to shoot him and he thought he did, but he didn’t. Meanwhile, Eugene finally starts to wake up while Glenn and ’em return with three minnows, a yo-yo and a muddy backpack. Good grief.

-The rest of the group leaves Sasha with the lightskin cop, who tells her a story of how he knew a walker out in the parking lot that was going on a call that he was supposed to go on. Sasha, who is all mushy and soft now because of Tyreese, offers to shoot the walker, and as soon as I saw the cop standing behind her, I was like, oh for fuck sakes. He runs her into a window and knocks her out. I blame this all on Tyreese. Get out of your feelings until this shit is over.

I’m torn over “Crossed” which could refer to Gabriel asking Daryl about using the cross to fortify the church, the crosses on the back of the cop car or the double-cross that the cop pulled. There was a lot of dialogue that didn’t matter and a lot of the characters made awful decisions, but the action was pretty good and Daryl’s kill was fantastic. Still, my biggest problem with the episode is that, this is why people get mad when the group is split up. The Walking Dead isn’t built for multiple storylines, not like the comics; it is much better as a show when it is focused on one thing. “Crossed” was all over the place and didn’t say anything, but hey, that’s just me.

I just feel it should have been better for an episode that was essentially Part 1 of a two-part half-season finale. But the preview for next week seems promising and I’ll certainly be here for the finale of The Walking Dead.