Tag Archives: Spencer

The Walking Dead S07E08 – Hearts Still Beating

The Walking Dead powered into its midseason break with “Hearts Still Beating”, and while the grammatical error in the title really bothers me (I’ll explain that later), it was everything that is great about TWD: it was cheesy, over the top, still had a little bit of heart, and it was a buncha Negan being a dick. Let’s go……..

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-We open with Maggie at Glenn’s grave, which I assume she does daily, and then she goes to the top of the gate at the Hilltop. Gregory has an apple and is almost like, do you want this, and Eduardo, who is also up there, is like, dude, she’s pregnant, so Gregory thinks he’s being a nice guy by giving her the apple. One, she’s pregnant, stop being a dick, and two, most importantly, pregnant or not, Maggie would stomp the muddiest of holes in Gregory’s ass. Did he spend an entire episode getting punked by everyone like, two weeks ago? If you don’t go sit your fake Herschel ass down somewhere.

-Daryl gets out of his cell because of that note that told him to go. Yay. Fuck.

-More importantly, Negan is at Rick’s house, taking a shave and telling One-Eyed Carl how to shave as well, cooking pasta in his house, lookin’ like that scene from “Goodfellas“, but without the cocaine. Olivia gets some lemonade from Tara, who says she’ll go inside and take over for Olivia, who told Rick she would watch Judith, and neither of them would be able to do anything, so that’s pointless.

-Then we have Rick and Aaron, who decide to go out to the houseboat in the canoe full of bulletholes, and I was like, OOOOOOOOOOH WHAT LEVEL OF FUCKERY IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN……well, the scene is stretched out, but basically, the canoe sinks because bulletholes, they have to fight off water walkers (which I figured would like, disintegrate in the water, but whatever man), Aaron sees one in the other canoe, falls the fuck over and is taken under, Rick freaks out, Aaron pops up, and I let out a good, hearty laugh. The best thing about The Walking Dead is when you can see the fuckery down the road, and you know it’s about to be some bullshit, but it’s just a matter of how they get to, and through, the bullshit. It was great. Anyway, they get to the canoe, while Negan is back at the house, tucking napkins in his shirt and shit, getting ready to chow down on a trough of spaghetti because that seems to be all they have at Alexandria (remember Aaron, Daryl and, um….Eric? I think that’s his boyfriend’s name).

-Spencer is tryna be nice to the Saviors, where some girl wants to holla at him and show him the compound later, aka her walls (not walls in a house, use your imagination). She also takes a moment to punk Eugene, who watches this flirtation go down because he’s a creep like that and he does like to watch.

-Meanwhile, Carol is tryna chill and read her book by a fire like a civilized human, and mufuckas won’t leave her alone, Morgan, King Zeke (who we don’t see in this episode and that’s some bullshit), and now Richard, apparently that is his name. He comes in and tries to persuade them to convince King Zeke to strike first against the Saviors, and Carol is like, I just wanna read my fuckin’ book and eat my produce, and we all know Morgan ain’t about that life. So, Richard goes to a shittily-hidden camper in the woods, throws a milk bottle and starts crying. So, here is my thing: why should I care about Richard? The Kingdom, even, for that matter? Spend a little more time on it and maybe, just maybe we would care. They could have honestly split up the Kingdom episode with the Tara episode at Ladyland, as my girl calls it. Because….anyway, more about the latter a bit later on because I have a guess about that. Richard does bring up a good point, though: the Saviors don’t really need a reason to go back on their deal. They run shit.

-Rick and Aaron are on the houseboat getting supplies, and they’re talking about this deal with the Saviors, which Michonne doesn’t think is living, but Aaron disagrees and says, “either your heart is beating or it isn’t”…..meanwhile, Michonne is still driving with this hostage Savior, and tries to talk to her because Michonne is losing her mind, and this woman just isn’t having it at all. OH, and back to Rick and Aaron, someone in mismatched boots is watching them through binoculars. Spooky.

-Oh, I almost forgot about Daryl and his great escape. He sneaks around, being all sneaky, then gets to Dwight’s room and eats ALL of the peanut butter with his dirty-ass finger. How does one eat that much peanut butter, that quickly, with one finger, and then not go to the bathroom right afterwards? And as he leaves, he smashes Dwight’s figurines, and they seemed to focus on one in particular, and I don’t know what the significance is. Maybe to show that Daryl is a badass? I bet he listens to Kid Rock. Goddammit, I hate this dude.

-At Hilltop, Maggie can smell apple pies through doors, but that’s believable because pregnancy hormones are no joke. Maggie wants to ask Jesus to get stuff, but Sasha says he left this morning. Maggie leaves and Enid is like, WHY YOU ALWAYS LYIN’. It’s because Sasha has a plan to go after Negan, because who doesn’t? I’d love to sit down and rank all of the plans because there are some real shitburgers in this pile.

-Father Bitchass and Rosita are at the church….and you know what…..GABRIEL tries to talk Rosita out of her shitty plan to kill Negan, maybe wait so everyone can work together. He has earned the right to finally be called by his real name. Lowkey, Young Gabe might be the MVP of the half-season (non-Negan division). Can’t wait for that to backfire in my face.

-Spencer is in the mirror, practicing how to say “Hi” and he looks like he’s on some Jack Handy shit (old SNL skit, do ya Googles). He tells Rosita that the plan is to get close to Negan and then strike, and Rosita says she used him before, but she’ll do dinner with him later because yo, people gotta bang, b. Meanwhile, Daryl finishes his great escape by bashing Fat Joey’s head in with a pipe, and Jesus walks in on it, so they steal a motorbike and leave. Negan gon’ kill everyone at that compound, b. He leaves and everyone stops giving all of the fucks. Everyone gon’ have irons on their faces.

-Michonne and the lady Savior drive to within distance of a gang of Saviors, like, hundreds of mufuckas and is basically like, bruh, you can’t win this fight, he is everywhere…..but I’m done with this shit, so you need to kill me and set this truck on fire. Which Michonne apparently does.

-Rick and Aaron get back to Alexandria to find Negan and ’em, and Aaron takes a massive ass-whipping because of some fuckass note they found on the houseboat that says “congrats for winning, but you still lose”. Thanks to Holly for this, but why did they even take the note back with them? How would they not know that would be some shit? Anyway, Aaron says that his heart is still beating, which is why the title bothers me. “heart’s” = “heart is”, not “hearts”. I don’t know why I would expect a show like this to care about that, but anyway.

-Spencer introduces himself to Negan, who wants to play pool, so they move a pool table out in the middle of the street. Spencer throws Rick under the bus, more or less implying that Rick got his mother killed and that he always fucks shit up (which isn’t all the way wrong), and that Spencer can be the new leader. Here is where you realized that he gotta die, because Negan says that Rick is swallowing his pride and his hate of Negan to get shit done, and that if Spencer wants Rick’s spot, go take it….but he won’t, because he doesn’t have the guts….and then he disembowels Spencer right on the street. In front of everyone, because everyone decided to come out and watch this game of pool. Shit looked like a Michael Jackson video.

-Rosita gets mad and pulls out the heat, but instead of shooting Negan, she shoots Lucille and Negan starts randomly cursing, sounding like Sterling Archer. One of the Saviors throws Rosita to the ground and cuts her face, while Negan wants to know who made this magic bullet. A couple people say they did it, but Negan knows they’re lying, so the female Savior, Arat is her name, she shoots Olivia. Tara then says she did it, but Eugene confesses and Negan is like, yeah, you look like a bullet-makin’ mufucka. So he takes Eugene with him when he leaves, and Rick stabs a reanimating Spencer in the head because fuck that guy.

-Michonne and Rick meet in the cells, and Michonne tells him that there are more Saviors than they thought, but they still have to fight. So they go to the Hilltop to see Maggie, and Jesus and Daryl are there, and it’s one big-ass Avengers reunion as they walk up to the house to discuss a plan. Daryl even gives Rick back his gun, which was on Fat Joey because that’s way too easy. Maggie better have kicked Daryl in the nuts at least three times, since he got back.

-I missed this, but after the credits, Young Gabe is being watched at the Alexandria gate by the person with the mismatched boots. I’m gon’ guess it’s someone from Ladyland? It better be. We don’t need any more new people.

-The one thing that I do like that they are rationing us with Negan, because I think if he were in every episode, it would be too much. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the MVP of this half-season and it isn’t even close because of how he straddles that line of being a cartoon and a downright fucking lunatic. But every episode and I think it would be too much. They just have to figure out to handle shit when he isn’t in the episode.

-Also, AMC: get your shit together and just make all the episode 90 minutes long. What else do you have to show? And if you’re gon’ have this many characters, you just might as well. I don’t wanna make any more Game Of Thrones comparisons, but let’s just say, you’re not Game Of Thrones. Take that extra advertising money and highstep down the sideline.

That was a solid ending to a typical half-season of The Walking Dead, which will return in February and likely do the same thing: be great for the first couple episodes, then be garbage, then end strong. Morgan and Carol will eventually come around and reach out to Rick because someone will hear something about Alexandria, which means King Zeke and Battlecat will be involved, Tara will holla at Ladyland, and yeah…..man, it is what it is by now with The Walking Dead. If they could just be consistent, the world would be a better place. The ratings are dropping, but they’re just now very good down from astronomical. It’ll be interesting to see if they try to improve in the second half of Season 7, I wouldn’t bet on it, but crazier things have happened and I’ma watch anyway. See y’all in February.

 

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The Walking Dead S07E04 – Service

Now that we’re all caught up with everyone, and we know where everyone is, The Walking Dead continues with “Service”, also known as the Negan-comin-for-all-your-shit tour. Some stuff that happened in the premiere served to help this episode not be terrible, and there could have been a hint for the future here as well, so let’s go.

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-We open with Rick and Michonne in bed, which I kinda forgot about, and she sneaks out, well, she thinks she does. But Rick saw her the whole time, and I’m pretty sure he saw the rifle that she took out of the fireplace of their house. She takes her weapons and goes to an abandoned car, sitting on the roof, waiting for something it seems, while Rick picks up Judith from her crib. It is a very ominous feeling, this beginning, like Michonne is about to wild out, which might not be in her best interests.

-Meanwhile, Rosita and Spencer are going on a supply run so that they’ll have something to give the Saviors, but Eugene is gon’ build a portable audio system for them, because surely the Saviors need something to play their music on. I wonder what Negan listens to? He seems like he would listen to ’70s rock, with no use for anything modern. Watch, he’ll bring out a Katy Perry playlist and dare anyone to laugh.

-Negan shows up at the Alexandria gate with his crew, including Daryl, and he reminds me of Eddie Murphy doing his James Brown impersonation. He tells Rick to hold Lucille, knowing full and damn well that he ain’t gon’ do anything, and no one can talk to Daryl, either, but Daryl is basically beaten down at this point, just gearing up for his inevitable redemption. They start searching the houses, while Dwight fucks with Rosita, taking her hat and her water, and ordering her to go get Daryl’s motorcycle, so he can make his transformation complete. Damn, he’s gon’ be so mad when Daryl takes it back. He’ll probably die, too. Also in this sequence, when Negan rolled up to the gate, Spencer had no idea who he was and tried to backtalk Negan, and Rick was like, man, if you don’t open this damn gate before batting practice starts.

-Michonne sees a walker and tries to shoot it, but keeps missing, so she takes out her trusty katana and cuts his head in half. You would think that Michonne would be a better shooter than she is at this point, but hell, she has the katana, so just roll with that. Unless the opposition has guns. Then, you should probably work on that.

-Negan asks about Maggie, and Rick lies, saying she is dead. He takes Negan to her “grave”, where he says that he wanted to add her to his harem of wives. Yeah, good luck with that. Maggie would kill herself first, especially for him. I know she has a baby and all, but nah, that ain’t the life that she wants her kid to lead. But then they hear a gunshot and Rick looks at Negan like, YO IT WASN’T ME.

-They find Carl with a Savior at gunpoint because dude tried to take their medicine. While Negan is impressed with Carl’s, um, let’s say, testicular fortitude, he basically tells him to back off or more people die. Shoutout to Carl for having a bigger pair than his father, and the intelligence to know that Negan ain’t playin’. He also gets the guns taken away by Negan, who wants ALL of the guns and Rick said they’re all there, but apparently two are not counted for, so Negan threatens to kill Olivia if they’re not found. She works at the pantry and the armoury, so Rick can’t lose her. Might gotta put a job ad on Kijiji or some shit.

-Rosita and Spencer are out in the woods, and Spencer questions whether Rick should lead Alexandria. Well, if not him, Spencer, who? You? YOU? Better not be. Because if he was leading Alexandria after his mother died, there is a good chance there wouldn’t be an Alexandria at this point.

-Rick calls a meeting to see where these guns are, and tells everyone that Negan is running the show now. So, I assume he hasn’t told anyone about Negan until, like, just now. You should probably give your citizens a heads up before people come in and take your shit. That could have ended much worse for everyone, meaning Alexandria. Eugene noticed that there were a couple people not at the meeting, which will come up later, I’m sure.

-Rosita spends her time killing the undead Saviors that were there when Denise got her arrow in the eye, and kills them, while looking for guns on the correct assumption that Negan is taking theirs. So, where does she think she will hide these guns? She does hide one in the wheel-well of the car they were driving, but you can only put so many guns in wheel-wells.

-HEY, look, Father Bitchass makes his first appearance of the season and it was him who led Negan to Maggie’s “grave”. He says that faith will get them through this whole thing, and Rick needs to believe and all types of other shit. Unless faith carries a bazooka (which Negan took), they’ll need more than that. Rick does manage to find the guns, stashed in Spencer’s house, along with some booze and food, ol’ hoardin’-ass mufucka.

-Rick takes the guns to Negan, who continues to crack jokes while threatening lives, but Rick sees Michonne and asks to be excused. I have no idea how Negan doesn’t see her, and I don’t buy that Negan wouldn’t send someone over with Rick, most likely, himself. Rick goes over to her, while holding Lucille, and says that people will die if Negan doesn’t get the guns, so they make up some story about her hunting and she brings back a deer to make the story even better. I might have messed that last part up, because I spent most of the time rolling my eyes. He then asks if Daryl can stay and Negan is all NOAP. Negan even asks Daryl if he wants to stay, and Daryl says nothing. No matter what he said, he wouldn’t have been happy, knowing Negan. Dwight then rolls up on Daryl’s bike and says he can have it back if he just pleads his allegiance to Negan, but we all know that ain’t happening.

-Rick goes at Spencer for stealing the guns, and Spencer goes back at him, blaming him for the deaths of Glenn and Abe. Rick is like, I know I’m gettin’ punked out here, but it won’t be by you, I promise, and threatens to break Spencer’s jaw if he says some shit again. Everyone has a line, I suppose. Then, Rosita goes at Spencer, who tells her he doesn’t trust Rick, and this is where she sneaks out the wheel-well gun. I wouldn’t be super upset if Spencer died. I know he’s Deanna’s son and all, but you can only push people that do more than you for so long.

-Rick and Michonne are back at the house, spreading blankets on the floor because Negan even took their mattresses. Michonne is struggling to understand this new way of life, but then Rick tells her about Shane, and how he knows Judith probably isn’t his child, but this is life now and you roll with it. This is the first time he acknowledged that Judith probably wasn’t his, I believe, and that has gotta knaw at him. He also says that they don’t even have the numbers with the people at the Hilltop, who I forgot all about, and I think Rick even killed their best fighters, so that won’t help. I thought the Hilltop and the Kingdom were the same. But this is how I see this playing out: the Saviors will mention something about Alexandria at their next meeting with King Zeke and Morgan, who will then rally the troops to help save Rick and ’em. Yeah, that’s pretty much how that will go.

-Now, I didn’t see this part because my copy must have cut off, but Michonne sees the Saviors burning the mattresses and seethes, while Rosita takes a shell casing to Eugene and tells him to make her a bullet. Just one. Some magic-bullet shit that will take out all the Saviors. But I’m concerned about Michonne. She is on the verge of wildin’ the fuck out, and that scares me.

-Seriously, though: where the hell is Maggie? Did she end up at the Hilltop? Isn’t there a doctor there? Why the hell didn’t she go there in the first place? I know there is a story, I’m just not going back to look, but I do think there is a story.

So, this episode was all about Negan runnin’ Alexandria’s pockets, Rick getting down on himself like he did at the prison before he became a damn farmer, Michonne and Rosita should really get together and start coming up with a cohesive plan before they get everyone killed, and Judith might be an orphan. Hell, she might be a double orphan soon if Rick keeps giving Negan sideeyes (prediction: she won’t). I haven’t seen a preview for next week, but I would think the Kingdom would get a mention, and hell, maybe even the Hilltop, too. Because Lord knows, Rick is gon’ need a LOT of help to get past Negan and ’em.

The Walking Dead S06E05 – Now

Through the first quarter of Season 6, the theme of The Walking Dead seems to be about how not ready the Alexandria people are for these streets. “Now” sees them coming around a little bit, and they better, because there are thousands of zombies knocking at the door….and they might be the least of their worries. Let’s go….

-We open with Deanna, surveying the damage of the Wolves running wild on them, while Michonne tells Maggie that Glenn and Nicholas didn’t make it back, but he would send a signal of some sort if they got into trouble. No signal yet. They’re really doing a lot to make us think Glenn is dead. I’ma be so damn mad when he comes back. Like, furious.

-Out of nowhere, Rick starts yelling to open the gate as he runs through a few walkers like Adrian Peterson, while Deanna sits there with this dumbass look on her face. Michonne opens it and Rick gets through in the nick of time, while Deanna still stands there, stunned, and this dude is behind her with his fists up like he’s about to do something. Man, go sit your ass down somewhere.

-Rick tries to talk the Alexandrians down because they’ve seen some shit now, between the walkers and the Wolves, but some of them still don’t get it. Aaron tells them that the Wolves knew everything about them because he lost his backpack, and that the walkers were going to show up there anyway, Rick just got them prepared. Seriously, anyone who isn’t on board at this point, walk their ass up the wall and throw ’em to the walkers. What more do they have to see to figure out that this is what it is now? Meanwhile, Deanna is still walking around, not knowing what is going on. I think we all know who is running the show here now.

-Is it just me or does Aaron look like a homeless Justin Timberlake? Like, young Timberlake, but down on his luck?

-Jessie takes the Wolf that she killed to the graveyard, but Rick stops her because they don’t bury killers inside the walls, shoutout to her ex-husband. Meanwhile, the rest of the natives are getting restless and are tryna raid the food, because they’re gon’ die anyway. Spencer, Deanna’s son, talks them out of it, but you know something? They’d all have more food if some of them just died. Easy solution. What a whiny bunch, man. And poor Olivia. Carol needs to be guarding that shit.

-Aaron walks by Maggie, who is putting something together to, I assume, go looking for Glenn, and then he walks to the wall, where Alexandrians are writing the names of the dead. Glenn and Nicholas are on there. They are selling the shit outta this, yo. Anyway, he finds Maggie in the armory and yep, she’s going to look for Glenn, but Aaron is wracked by guilt because his photos led the Wolves there, so he is going with her. He has another way out of Alexandria, and it’s underground. Nothing bad can happen here.

-Deanna finally comes around as she looks at Reg’s wedding ring, and she takes out his map to start figuring out how they’re going to re-design this place. But then she runs into Spencer, who is drunk and berates her for fooling the community into thinking that everything was okay, and blames her for the deaths of Reg and Aiden. Look, Reg’s death was kind of an accident, and dude, your brother was an asshole that had to die anyway. You’re getting there, too, by the way. She goes back into her daze, and Spencer jumps to the top of the death-wish list, a spot formerly held by Nicholas.

-Carl tries to talk to Ron about Enid, and we learn that Enid was Ron’s girlfriend or whatever the hell you have as a teenager in the zombie apocalypse. Ron sulks and says that he won’t help find her, and threatens to tell Rick if Carl goes out there. Then they grab each other and Carl throws Ron to the ground so easy in the funniest moment of the episode. Man, Carl been out here fighting walkers since he was like, nine. Fuck is Ron’s bitch ass about to do?

-Denise is still learning to be a surgeon as Scott is dying of some sort of infection from the wound he suffered out there with Michonne and ’em, and she’s getting frustrated, and Tara tries to encourage her, I think. I zoned out for this entire scene twice. Now that there will be no Glenn/Maggie/Tara threesome, I don’t care about her anymore.

-Jessie is walking by a house when she sees a walker inside, apparently her name is Betsy, and Betsy died because she slit her wrists. A group of people stand around while Jessie kills her, and they have the nerve to look at her like she’s crazy. Jessie tells them that if they don’t fight, they die, like Rick told her last season. Rick and ’em should have just killed them all when they got there.

-Aaron leads Maggie to the sewers, and even though she is against it, he goes with her, which makes sense since she doesn’t know where she is going. They’re walking along and Aaron is telling her how guilty he feels about the Wolves finding his backpack, when they run into sewer walkers…..so now we have rock-quarry walkers, fire walkers and sewer walkers. It has been a great season for walkers so far. Anyway, of course they get away from them and continue on their way, and Maggie tries to tell Aaron to go back because he cut his head, but he doesn’t and again, she still doesn’t know where she is going.

-Denise has a Eureka moment with her studies as she injects saline into Scott’s IV and his heart rate stabilizes. I’m not sure how medicine works and if it does it that quickly, but hey, I’ll let this slide because there are bigger fish to fry in this show, and Denise is happy as shit.

-Rick is still tryna get a hold of Daryl, Abraham and Sasha when Ron walks up to him and snitches on Carl for wanting to go and look for Enid. Then he asks Rick to teach him how to shoot. Mmmmmhmmmm, Ron is plottin’. I told y’all, he’s gon’ shoot Carl because he can’t fight, but Rick can’t see that because he’s tryna fuck Ron’s mom.

-Denise walks up to Tara and kisses her. Alright, so maybe there is a threesome still in the cards somewhere in this show?

-Aaron and Maggie get to the end of the tunnel, and Aaron volunteers to go out, but Maggie yells at him to stop, which draws the walkers there, so no one is going out there now. Maggie tells Aaron that she is pregnant, which I missed on the first watch until the end of the episode, and Maggie seems to come to grips with the idea that Glenn is dead as they continue to sell it. They hug, there are walkers in the background, it’s all very heartwarming.

-Jessie tries to give Sam, the youngest kid, a sandwich, but he won’t come downstairs because nothing has changed up there….basically, he won’t come downstairs because he watched his mother kill someone down there. Poor Sam, between that and Carol threatening him, someone needs to give this kid a cookie.

-Deanna is walking around outside, in the dark at night, by herself, and she’s attacked by a walker, or a Wolf that turned. I was wondering about all of the dead bodies…are they going to turn? Betsy did, this Wolf did…..shouldn’t they burn these mufuckas or something? Stab everyone in the head? Anyway, she fights it off, but she stabs it with a broken bottle repeatedly in the chest, and Rick walks up, one to the head and boom, it’s over. Mufuckas don’t learn anything in this show. Deanna is covered in blood and basically turns over the town to Rick, who insists she still needs to lead, but man, she’s not built for this, none of them are. She wonders if her vision for Alexandria was too idealistic and he says no, but it’s a lie. Yes, it was.

-Maggie and Aaron are erasing Glenn and Nicholas’ names from the wall, and Aaron jokes that his name is good for a boy or a girl. That’s when my ears perked up the first time like, uhhhhh, did I miss something?

-Spencer relieves Rosa from the lookout spot, and I forgot she was still around. She thanks him for taking out the Wolves’ truck, which helped keep the wall standing, but I can’t remember if he had much to do with it. Meanwhile, Rick rolls up on Jessie in her garage and admits to her that the others should have been back by now. They end up kissing in the least surprising thing to happen in this episode.

-Deanna walks along the wall and the walkers are banging on one side, and she bangs back because she’s ready to fight now. Yeah, okay. But as she walks away, we see (she doesn’t) that blood is leaking through, so the wall is starting to crack. Mufuckas won’t be long for Alexandria now.

I’ma say that this was the worst episode of the season so far, not because it wasn’t good, but everyone just annoyed me. The Alexandrians are too slow to figure this shit out, and I’ll be happy when the rest of them go. The Glenn thing is hanging over the show and it’s really pissing me off. And now they’re going to Daryl, Sasha and Abe next episode, while we don’t know what’s going on with Carol, so they’re doing the The Walking Dead thing where everyone is kinda split up, and that’s not when the show is at its best. With three episodes to go until the midseason break, can they get back on track? We’ll see next Sunday.