Tag Archives: TV Recap

The Walking Dead S07E06 – Swear

So, I missed last week due to life stuff, but quite frankly, The Walking Dead wasn’t really worth recapping. Here, I can do it in five points.

-Maggie and Sasha are chillin’ at the Hilltop, running over zombies with tractors.

-Jesus has one helluva dropkick. Why this isn’t a gif on the internet, I’ll never know.

-The Saviors are runnin’ the Hilltop’s pockets as well, and I think we knew that.

-Carl and Enid found rollerskates and it was really fucking stupid.

-Carl managed to sneak onto the Saviors’ truck, in broad daylight, with a hundred dudes around. No one saw him. NOT ONE PERSON, B. NOT ONE.

So now we have “Swear”, in which we catch up to Tara, we get another crew and well….let’s go……

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-So, I missed the first 15 minutes because I was watching the finale of 11.22.63, which is much better than TWD. But long story short, but Tara was woken by Rachel and Cyndie, who decide not to kill Tara, who follows them into the woods. They end up at their camp, which is all women and one finds Tara, and starts shooting at her. They surround her, but the leader, Natania, saves her.

-In a flashback, Tara and Heath are surrounded by walkers on a bridge and Heath dips out because fuck it, why not. Heath gotta die, and not because of this, but Corey Hawkins is in the new 24 reboot, so this has to end soon. I’m not even sure how I feel about the 24 reboot. I don’t feel like I’ll rush to watch it. Just name it something else. If Jack Bauer ain’t in it, it’s not 24.

-Anyway, Tara is handcuffed on a radiator and the women try to get Tara to tell where she is from. Natania also tells her that all the men were killed by another group, which you should assume that it is the Saviors. Tara also lies terribly, and I don’t know if it’s Alanna Masterson or the writing; I’m going for the latter. Like, I don’t even wanna make any jokes about all-women camps and Tara being a lesbian and it is all sitting there…..but the writing in this episode, and largely on the show for the past couple episodes, have been really fucking bad. And I don’t expect TWD to have Mad Men-level writing at all. But Jesus Christ…..okay, I continue before I go into more ranting.

-After she is caught in her lie, Tara suggests that the groups all team up and because they need friends, and fair enough, I get why Natania was hesitant to do so. They’re not very trusting. But when Tara tells them that they killed the group at the outpost, why can’t they all put two and two together and figure out that it was the Saviors? I bet the meeting plan might have been expedited…..sigh.

-The next day, Kathy and Beatrice, two of the random women, are taking Tara to, I don’t even know why, but they’re gon’ kill her because these women kill strangers on sight. Tara volunteers to kill a walker, but runs off and Beatrice catches her. She is gon’ shoot her and tells Tara that her people are dead, which is an assumption. Here, she says that those people worked for Negan, which mufuckas could have learned the night before. She was gon’ kill Tara so she doesn’t lead the Saviors back here, but Cyndie saves her and then somehow catches up to Tara because Beatrice apparently said fuck it and went back to the camp. She gives Tara supplies and walks her back to the bridge where she found her, and made her swear to not tell anyone about the village. But a buncha walkers come outta nowhere and Cyndie, who also somehow took Beatrice’s gun, shoots some walkers while Tara looks for Heath, and they try to fake us out by showing us a black person with braids, but it’s a woman. So…..Beatrice is pretty much the worst killer ever. She’s the dumpster-zombie version of a killer. Let that little Cyndie girl tackle her, take her gun, and just gives up. Good Lord.

-OH, and when they were chasing Tara, Tara just like, laid down in a whole or a depression in the ground AND THEY WALKED RIGHT BY HER? WHY IS NO ONE LOOKING DOWN? SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.

-And where did the other one, what, Kathy is her name? Did she just say fuck it and left as well? Holy fuck. They need to team with someone. The Saviors…..well, it definitely won’t be pretty what the Saviors would do to them.

-Flashback to Tara surrounded by zombies, but Heath didn’t leave her, she saves her, and then he gets overrun by zombies and he wants her to go, but she says they’re in it together, and she falls over a bridge with three zombies on her. Sooooo…..have we decided if zombies can swim? How did she hold three of ’em off? How did she not die falling off a bridge with three zombies on her? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

-Tara crosses the bridge, finds a badge with “PPP”, which has something to do with Heath, but I can’t be bothered to look up what. She gets to Alexandria and learns about Glenn, Abe, Denise and basically that they’re the Saviors’ bitch now. Rosita wants revenge, but Tara says she doesn’t know nothin’ about nothin’ and doesn’t tell her about the village of women that have all the guns and shit. And that might have been the smartest thing that she did because they’d just fuck that up, too. But she will at some point, and Alexandria, these women and the Hilltop will form some broken-ass Voltron…..and I’m still not sure they have the numbers to beat the Saviors. And they will. And I’ll be mad.

No one has been a bigger TWD defender than I have, but man, they’re really testing our patience lately. And the sad part is that, I’m willing to bet that the last two episodes will be fire because they do this every half-season…start out great, the middle part is a mess and end strong. Every single damn half-season. But this season is taking shit to a new low. What do we have, four groups now? How many do we care about? Two? Alexandria and the Saviors, I only care about the tiger in the Kingdom and we ain’t even seen them since their first appearance. The Hilltop can burn for all I care.

This was a waste of an episode, or at least, they didn’t need to spend an entire episode on this. They could split it with the Kingdom, maybe even with the Saviors, but this was a waste of time. The writing was sloppy, the plot was forced, I’m not even sure how much we even care about Tara and/or Heath (spoiler alert: I don’t)…..it’s just……I don’t know, man. I’m probably getting facts wrong and shit while watching it because it’s getting really fucking hard to watch this show. Like I said, I don’t expect much from The Walking Dead anymore. But the last few weeks have been frustrating to watch. They better figure this out before Game Of Thrones comes out next winter…change this shit to the summer or something, because I’ll throw TWD in the most prickly of rose bushes with the absolute fuckin’ quickness if they’re both on Sunday nights. And not even go back to watch it.

And they’re gon’ throw it in my face when the next two episodes are great.

American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare – Chapter 10

The sixth season of American Horror Story came to an end last night with arguably the best finale of the bunch. Was it enough to launch it to the top of the AHS pantheon? Let’s go….

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-Let’s start with the Crack’d series that was a look back at the whole story, starting with the My Roanoke Nightmare cast at Paleyfest, signing autographs, answering questions, all that, taking place before everyone went back to the house. A girl even flew over to the States from England to go to this place, which shows how big My Roanoke Nightmare really was, and this whole season has been about our fascination with reality television. Hell, we put….actually, I’m not gon’ get into politics right now, just know that this fascination is fucked. It was good to see everyone in the cast one final time before everyone had their shit rocked.

-Then it moved on to Lee’s murder trial, and she still manages to get off despite the tapes, people seeing the tapes, and Flora being put on the stand because the jury boiled all this down to “ghost stories”. A statement on how fucked the justice system is? Probably. But you gotta remember that Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk were also behind American Crime Story: The People Vs. OJ Simpson, which got all the acclaim and I still need to see it. But, it makes sense it would look back at the trial and how the hell Lee got off, but she didn’t really, because she lost Flora, who admitted that she saw Lee kill her ex-husband. But it was Lee that told her lawyer to bring up the ghost stories, because Lee ain’t shit. But she got off, so I guess that’s a win.

-Next, it’s a look at The Lana Winters Show, bringing back one of the main characters from Season 2’s Asylum. It also gives me a chance to heap more praise on Sarah Paulson, because the Fake Shelby character was hot garbage. She brings Lee on the show to tell her side, and Lee fires back that Lana killed her son, Bloody Face, or Bloody Face 2, I don’t know, it was a long time ago and I actually hate Asylum, but that’s for another day. But they’re interrupted by gunfire as Lot Polk, who made a YouTube video earlier in the episode threatening Lee. He’s mad because she killed his mother and brother, I believe, and he appears at the show with a machine gun. Lana tries to reason with him, saying the world needs to hear his story, and gets greeted with a gunbutt to the face for her troubles because as Lot says, she talks too much. He is about to kill Lee, but he is shot by the cops. Lee runs out because before this, Lana confronted her with the news that Flora had disappeared. So Lee runs out, and I’m wondering where the hell the cops were through all this. But the cops ain’t been shit this season on AHS at all, so it’s not surprising.

-Moving on to the next show, Spirit Chasers, which is basically three people chasing ghosts. So of course, they go to the Roanoke house, during the blood, and they’re trespassing because they’re badass. It’ll be so good when they die at the hands of the Butcher, her people and YOOOOOO……DID THE MOON SHOOT ARROWS AT PEOPLE? HAHAHAHAHA WHAT WAS THAT? They also got Ashley/Cricket, the spirit guy from earlier in the season, and they all go through the house, where they run into Lee, who still isn’t being followed by the cops. Lee kinda goes into a trance, but she doesn’t even kill anyone, instead she warns them to get out. But them, being badass frat boys, they think they is cool, until Ashley/Cricket gets cut in the chest by Piggy Man. That’s what it took for them to realize that shit ain’t a game, and one by one, they all die. Good for them. Those shows are such hot garbage.

-Lee eventually finds Flora, who has been runnin’ around with her little ghost friend, Priscilla, for two weeks in the woods. Lee wants Flora to come with her and she’s like, NOAP, I’ma stay here and protect Priscilla from the Butcher, because that’s a great plan. However, Lee comes up with a solution, she’ll kill herself and stay with Priscilla to protect her because her relationship with Flora is essentially done, so she might as well try to salvage something. Flora asks Priscilla if it’s okay and she agrees because why the hell not. By this time, the cops and the news have arrived and it’s a big to-do, because nothing happens in the world without TV cameras now (MESSAGE). There is an explosion and Flora walks out the house like nothing happened, and Lee lets Priscilla shoot her in the chest. Flora waves to them as she is driven away, and that’s the end of that.

HAHAHAHAHA DAMMIT I WAS RIGHT, Y’ALL. I said Flora would be the last person standing and while I totally wavered a bit, I was right because if you make enough guesses, you gotta be right at some point. But from start to finish, this might be my favorite season of AHS, definitely the best sine Season 1’s Murder House. Coven was always up there until that fuckery of a finale, and every other series had its moments. But this was consistent, full of garbage and trash, it was campy, it was kinda sweet…..it was pretty good. MVP of the season was…..hmmmm, I dunno, probably Lily Rabe as Real Shelby. She was deadass messed up from killing Real Matt, and that scene was excellent. Second was probably Kathy Bates, shitty accent and all, and I’m on board now….she gotta have an accent every season. A shitty one, too.

I think there is a trailer out for Season 7, or a picture or something, but I’m not dealing with that yet, there is all kinds of time to go over that. But you can tell that the next few seasons of AHS will be even more intertwined going forward, so I might need to do some rewatches of past seasons, particularly Asylum, which I’ve been saying months and probably still won’t do. But that was a fun season of American Horror Story, and I’ll leave you with the AHS Pantheon Power Rankings.

  1. Murder House
  2. My Roanoke Nightmare
  3. Coven
  4. Freak Show
  5. Hotel
  6. Asylum

 

The Walking Dead S07E04 – Service

Now that we’re all caught up with everyone, and we know where everyone is, The Walking Dead continues with “Service”, also known as the Negan-comin-for-all-your-shit tour. Some stuff that happened in the premiere served to help this episode not be terrible, and there could have been a hint for the future here as well, so let’s go.

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-We open with Rick and Michonne in bed, which I kinda forgot about, and she sneaks out, well, she thinks she does. But Rick saw her the whole time, and I’m pretty sure he saw the rifle that she took out of the fireplace of their house. She takes her weapons and goes to an abandoned car, sitting on the roof, waiting for something it seems, while Rick picks up Judith from her crib. It is a very ominous feeling, this beginning, like Michonne is about to wild out, which might not be in her best interests.

-Meanwhile, Rosita and Spencer are going on a supply run so that they’ll have something to give the Saviors, but Eugene is gon’ build a portable audio system for them, because surely the Saviors need something to play their music on. I wonder what Negan listens to? He seems like he would listen to ’70s rock, with no use for anything modern. Watch, he’ll bring out a Katy Perry playlist and dare anyone to laugh.

-Negan shows up at the Alexandria gate with his crew, including Daryl, and he reminds me of Eddie Murphy doing his James Brown impersonation. He tells Rick to hold Lucille, knowing full and damn well that he ain’t gon’ do anything, and no one can talk to Daryl, either, but Daryl is basically beaten down at this point, just gearing up for his inevitable redemption. They start searching the houses, while Dwight fucks with Rosita, taking her hat and her water, and ordering her to go get Daryl’s motorcycle, so he can make his transformation complete. Damn, he’s gon’ be so mad when Daryl takes it back. He’ll probably die, too. Also in this sequence, when Negan rolled up to the gate, Spencer had no idea who he was and tried to backtalk Negan, and Rick was like, man, if you don’t open this damn gate before batting practice starts.

-Michonne sees a walker and tries to shoot it, but keeps missing, so she takes out her trusty katana and cuts his head in half. You would think that Michonne would be a better shooter than she is at this point, but hell, she has the katana, so just roll with that. Unless the opposition has guns. Then, you should probably work on that.

-Negan asks about Maggie, and Rick lies, saying she is dead. He takes Negan to her “grave”, where he says that he wanted to add her to his harem of wives. Yeah, good luck with that. Maggie would kill herself first, especially for him. I know she has a baby and all, but nah, that ain’t the life that she wants her kid to lead. But then they hear a gunshot and Rick looks at Negan like, YO IT WASN’T ME.

-They find Carl with a Savior at gunpoint because dude tried to take their medicine. While Negan is impressed with Carl’s, um, let’s say, testicular fortitude, he basically tells him to back off or more people die. Shoutout to Carl for having a bigger pair than his father, and the intelligence to know that Negan ain’t playin’. He also gets the guns taken away by Negan, who wants ALL of the guns and Rick said they’re all there, but apparently two are not counted for, so Negan threatens to kill Olivia if they’re not found. She works at the pantry and the armoury, so Rick can’t lose her. Might gotta put a job ad on Kijiji or some shit.

-Rosita and Spencer are out in the woods, and Spencer questions whether Rick should lead Alexandria. Well, if not him, Spencer, who? You? YOU? Better not be. Because if he was leading Alexandria after his mother died, there is a good chance there wouldn’t be an Alexandria at this point.

-Rick calls a meeting to see where these guns are, and tells everyone that Negan is running the show now. So, I assume he hasn’t told anyone about Negan until, like, just now. You should probably give your citizens a heads up before people come in and take your shit. That could have ended much worse for everyone, meaning Alexandria. Eugene noticed that there were a couple people not at the meeting, which will come up later, I’m sure.

-Rosita spends her time killing the undead Saviors that were there when Denise got her arrow in the eye, and kills them, while looking for guns on the correct assumption that Negan is taking theirs. So, where does she think she will hide these guns? She does hide one in the wheel-well of the car they were driving, but you can only put so many guns in wheel-wells.

-HEY, look, Father Bitchass makes his first appearance of the season and it was him who led Negan to Maggie’s “grave”. He says that faith will get them through this whole thing, and Rick needs to believe and all types of other shit. Unless faith carries a bazooka (which Negan took), they’ll need more than that. Rick does manage to find the guns, stashed in Spencer’s house, along with some booze and food, ol’ hoardin’-ass mufucka.

-Rick takes the guns to Negan, who continues to crack jokes while threatening lives, but Rick sees Michonne and asks to be excused. I have no idea how Negan doesn’t see her, and I don’t buy that Negan wouldn’t send someone over with Rick, most likely, himself. Rick goes over to her, while holding Lucille, and says that people will die if Negan doesn’t get the guns, so they make up some story about her hunting and she brings back a deer to make the story even better. I might have messed that last part up, because I spent most of the time rolling my eyes. He then asks if Daryl can stay and Negan is all NOAP. Negan even asks Daryl if he wants to stay, and Daryl says nothing. No matter what he said, he wouldn’t have been happy, knowing Negan. Dwight then rolls up on Daryl’s bike and says he can have it back if he just pleads his allegiance to Negan, but we all know that ain’t happening.

-Rick goes at Spencer for stealing the guns, and Spencer goes back at him, blaming him for the deaths of Glenn and Abe. Rick is like, I know I’m gettin’ punked out here, but it won’t be by you, I promise, and threatens to break Spencer’s jaw if he says some shit again. Everyone has a line, I suppose. Then, Rosita goes at Spencer, who tells her he doesn’t trust Rick, and this is where she sneaks out the wheel-well gun. I wouldn’t be super upset if Spencer died. I know he’s Deanna’s son and all, but you can only push people that do more than you for so long.

-Rick and Michonne are back at the house, spreading blankets on the floor because Negan even took their mattresses. Michonne is struggling to understand this new way of life, but then Rick tells her about Shane, and how he knows Judith probably isn’t his child, but this is life now and you roll with it. This is the first time he acknowledged that Judith probably wasn’t his, I believe, and that has gotta knaw at him. He also says that they don’t even have the numbers with the people at the Hilltop, who I forgot all about, and I think Rick even killed their best fighters, so that won’t help. I thought the Hilltop and the Kingdom were the same. But this is how I see this playing out: the Saviors will mention something about Alexandria at their next meeting with King Zeke and Morgan, who will then rally the troops to help save Rick and ’em. Yeah, that’s pretty much how that will go.

-Now, I didn’t see this part because my copy must have cut off, but Michonne sees the Saviors burning the mattresses and seethes, while Rosita takes a shell casing to Eugene and tells him to make her a bullet. Just one. Some magic-bullet shit that will take out all the Saviors. But I’m concerned about Michonne. She is on the verge of wildin’ the fuck out, and that scares me.

-Seriously, though: where the hell is Maggie? Did she end up at the Hilltop? Isn’t there a doctor there? Why the hell didn’t she go there in the first place? I know there is a story, I’m just not going back to look, but I do think there is a story.

So, this episode was all about Negan runnin’ Alexandria’s pockets, Rick getting down on himself like he did at the prison before he became a damn farmer, Michonne and Rosita should really get together and start coming up with a cohesive plan before they get everyone killed, and Judith might be an orphan. Hell, she might be a double orphan soon if Rick keeps giving Negan sideeyes (prediction: she won’t). I haven’t seen a preview for next week, but I would think the Kingdom would get a mention, and hell, maybe even the Hilltop, too. Because Lord knows, Rick is gon’ need a LOT of help to get past Negan and ’em.

American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare – Chapter 9

What’s up, y’all. It has been a helluva week, and the only way I know how to get shit out is by writing about it. I’m not gon’ talk about the fuckery of Tuesday, and sorry about missing last week’s recap, but you know, new job steez (YAY). So, here we are, Chapter 9, the penultimate episode of American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare. A whole buncha people died last week: Fake Shelby, Fake Matt, and a couple of the real Polks, and Real Lee threw out the “I wanna touch it” line, which might be the best of the season. Let’s go….

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-We have the return of Taissa Farmiga, who hasn’t been on AHS since Coven, and she is Sophie, who rolls in with Todd and Milo. While this season has been basically a play on the original Blair Witch Project, these three are essentially the characters from that movie. They’re fanatics of the original My Roanoke Nightmare, and they come to the woods, tryna get pictures and videos that will get them likes and whatnot on Instagram and Facebook, because this is the era we’re in now. They find the tree where Flora’s coat was hung from, and then a bloodied woman stumbles outta the woods, mumbling about her car. They find the car, which is upside down and inside…..is the woman’s body. Then she vanishes, and they go to the cops, who don’t believe their story because there is nothing on the tapes that they found, no dead body in the car, nothing. That probably should have been a hint and a half for their asses that they should just walk away and be done with it, but they got those likes, and another 20,000 followers, so you know they’re going back into the woods. All in the name of going “viral”, which is a massive statement on how the world works now. Hell, I can’t even fault them, I wouldn’t mind these recaps going viral. I’m just not willing to risk my life to do it.

-Back at the house, Fake Shelby and Real Lee are joined by Dylan, who played Fake Ambrose, also known as the helper, then killer of, Fake Thomasin, or Kathy Bates. Good Lord, this is all very confusing. He showed up at the end of Chapter 8 wearing the pig’s head, and almost got killed for it. Fake Shelby and Real Lee try to explain to him what happened with all the dead bodies and he’s like, nah….until he sees the carnage. He was told by Sidney to actually show up with the pig’s head, so he thought this was all still a game, until it wasn’t. Also, he took an Uber to the house, and that’s the second or third reference to Uber; I wonder if they paid for all this. So, the plan is now to get Fake Lee from the Polks, where she still is, and Dylan wants to go alone, but decides to take the women with him since they know where they’re going. Fake Shelby says to Real Lee, who wants to get the tapes of the Polks’ murders, that she’ll leave Real Lee there in a heartbeat as they’re gon’ steal the Polks’ truck. I guess they just assumed that someone knew how to hotwire a truck, or maybe the keys were in it….details are shaky, at best, but they’re rollin’ with what they got.

-They get to the Polks, and the women look for Fake Lee, while Dylan works on the truck. Fake Shelby finds Fake Lee and try to escape, but they’re stopped by a Polk, this one’s name is Lot, and he wants revenge for what they did to his mother (killed her), but Fake Shelby has a gun and shoots him. Meanwhile, Dylan is stabbed a buncha times by Ishmael Polk, who then chases Real Lee (who doesn’t have the tapes) into the woods. The women try to intervene, but everything stops because Real Thomasin and her crew rolls up with their torches, and everyone scatters. Real Thomasin, even moreso than Fake Thomasin, is not here for playing games, and we all know that Fake Thomasin was ’bout that life.

-The women get back to the house, and I missed something because they have the tape that Real Lee made, in which she says that she killed her ex-husband. Meanwhile, Real Lee is found in the woods by Scathach (the witch), who possesses her because remember, it is the last night of the blood moon and shit is about to get really real, word to Method Man’s “Bring The Pain”. Oh, and never forget Real Lee eating a boar’s heart. I think it was the heart. It was definitely an internal organ.

-Mean-mean-meanwhile, the Blair Witch Biters head back to the woods and of course, Sophie is the ringleader because GOTTA GET THESE LIKES UP, FAM, which is basically what the girl was tryna do in the Blair Witch joint. Anyway, they find where Mason was killed, and they find Real Lee close, but she kills Todd because she’s possessed. Sophie and Milo run away, into a web of the wooden figurines, and they stumble upon the production trailer, where they find a wounded Real Ambrose, who I can’t even place because this season has been so very confusing. They run inside the trailer and see all the monitors of what is going on, and they see Fake Shelby and Fake Lee, and they have no idea what is real, and what is not. Man, I don’t even care at this point, I’m out. Or do you just stay in there until daylight? Does even matter anymore? I think I’d run for it, personally. I wouldn’t gone back in the first damn place, though, so there is that.

-They see Real Lee heading for the house, and they call the cops, who have been on some bullshit all season and are obviously on the Polks’ payroll. Real Lee goes into the house to meet Fake Lee and Fake Shelby, who confront her about the Mason murder, but they realize quickly that she’s not right. It was probably right around the time that she started talking about cleansing the property of vile shit, and they definitely figured it out when Real Lee pushed Fake Lee through a bannister, impaling her on a piece of wood. Fake Shelby tries to get away, but Real Lee catches her going into a cellar, stabs her and pushes her down said cellar. Real Lee is moving awfully swift for someone missing big pieces of her thigh (shoutout to Dylan tryna say that Fake Lee’s missing ear was makeup and she was like, BITCH WHAT), but being possessed will do that to you. And hey, maybe Fake Shelby deserved it. She fell like, 18 times runnin’ away from Real Lee. I’m not sure if she was wearing heels or not, but good grief, stay on your feet, ma’am. She fell down some steps, on a piece of hair on the floor, a blade of grass. It was pret-tay, pret-tay good.

-Sophie and Milo go to the house and they think they’re gon’ stop Real Lee from doing any more harm, but they find Thomasin and her people disemboweling Dylan, pulling them shits out like a loose piece of string. They go to run, but Real Lee catches them, and they’re put on stakes to be burned alive. However, this was all filmed and uploaded to a Cloud account in Todd’s name, which finally gets the cops to go out and see what’s up.

-We see the end of the episode from the cops’ bodycams, where they go in the house and find a whole buncha dead bodies. They find Real Lee, who is outta control and doesn’t remember all of the killing and murdering. They go to put her in a car, but they also find Fake Shelby, who managed to get out of the cellar and when she sees Real Lee, she freaks out and grabs the cop’s gun, tryna shoot her, but the cops all kill her instead. Or it might have been her gun that she had. There was a gun, that’s all I got for ya. But if I’m not mistaken, this is the first time Sarah Paulson has died on AHS. I’m okay with it…..Fake Shelby was damn annoying. ¬†She “died” at the end of Hotel, but did she come back? I didn’t finish it.

Well, the body count over the last two episodes must be the highest it has ever been in the history of AHS, so who do we got left? We got Real Lee out of the cast of characters, real and fake, of My Roanoke Nightmare. Thomasin and her people are still around, as is Scathach, maybe Real Ambrose, he’s still around (I think he’s still around?), but I’m focusing on the cast, so we got Real Lee. Next week, I assume that we’ll see the aftermath, and whatever is on the tapes, but as we learned earlier, there might not even be anything of use on the tapes. My Flora guess is still in play as well, although I’m not as confident as I once was. Might just be Real Lee, who will somehow avoid jail. There are a couple of hints as to what will happen next week, but I’ll keep that to myself and besides, y’all will probably run across it before next week’s finale, which will hopefully be longer than an hour. See ya next week, and keep y’all head up.

 

The Walking Dead S07E03 – The Cell

The Walking Dead “Hey, what’s happenin’ over here” tour continues with “The Cell” as we head to the Sanctuary, also known as Negan’s place. But of course, the focus is Daryl, which is awesome. It’s not. Let’s go…….

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-Again, I missed the beginning up to the credits, which will likely be a theme throughout the season. But from what I gathered (again, shoutout to The Walking Dead Wikia), Dwight is the center of attention as Negan’s right-hand man, cuttin’ in line and taking way more bread than everyone else, while some guy gets beaten to death by a bunch of Saviors as he was short on payment for whatever he wanted to eat, then took his shirt off and threw it down. They obviously took that as disrespect; seems like something they would do.

-Speaking of being an asshole, Dwight goes through the dead man’s place and takes his stuff, with the man’s pregnant wife and kid watching because fuck it, why not, they don’t need pickles or mustard anyway. Also in this sequence, we see Dwight with some other Saviors and when Negan passes them, they kneel to him. Negan has a bit of a God complex, it seems, and that becomes ever so evident throughout the episode. I can’t wait to see how this all came about, although they hint at it a little bit in this episode. Dwight then puts some dog food on some bread and takes it to a cell, where naked Daryl is chillin’, They basically do this a couple more times, where Dwight brings shitty sandwiches and Daryl has to eat them, then he locks the cell. All the while, this song is playing to torture Daryl and it’s called “Easy Street” by the Collapsible Hearts Club. I can see why it would be used for torture. It began to hurt every time they played it, so I guess it worked for the show. Between shitty sandwiches and that song, I wouldn’t last a week in there.

-Next, Dwight takes a clothed Daryl to see this doctor, Dr. Carson, apparently, because he has a messed-up shoulder, which is probably the least of his worries right now. Sherry is in there, and who is Sherry, you ask? Well, so did I. She was in the episode where we met Dwight, “Always Accountable”, which I’d love to link you to, but I didn’t do a recap on it, apparently. I vaguely remember it, it was Sherry, Dwight and some other girl, and they jacked Daryl for his supplies…..I remember it more for Abe tryna shoot his shot with Sasha for the first time, and smoking a cigar on top of a Hummer or a tank or something. So hey, I guess Abe wasn’t useless. Anyway, Sherry is in the office and tells Daryl to do what he is told, and Dwight doesn’t want her talking to him. She also has a pregnancy test, which she says is negative, and Dwight is all, “better luck next time”. What is this, pregnancy roulette? And who is tryna get pregnant in the zombie apocalypse? I don’t think it’s her idea, if I had to guess, but it seems like a really bad one, to say the least. There are all sorts of methods…..you know what, I’ll stop there. But y’all know where I was going with that.

-Dwight stops to talk to Negan while he is guarded by this Savior named Fat Joey, not the rapper, who doesn’t go by Joey and apparently, he is also not fat anymore. Dwight then takes Daryl out to show him the walker fence, which has a new addition as the man from the food line is being secured to said fence, which is the first line of defense against intruders and let’s be real, it’s there because Negan is an asshole. Dwight tells Daryl that he can either work for Negan or work in the yard, securing walkers, and Daryl is being Daryl, saying that he would never kneel to Negan. Dwight says that he said that as well, and then takes Daryl back to his cell. Daryl proceeds to try and pick the lock and relentessly kick the door, and that’s the best part of the episode for me. He was tryna get out and he couldn’t. That was good. I had a little bit of hope for a minute that he wouldn’t make it outta there. Damn, I’ma be SO MAD when he gets out.

-Negan and Dwight are talkin’ again, with Negan asking Dwight how the breaking of Daryl is going and he says, it’s fine, slow, but fine. Negan wants to reward with a night with one of his wives, because Negan has multiple wives, because of course he does. It would be a waste to be a dictator without multiple wives, I assume, although I would think that would take away from his dictator time….it’s a complicated setup. Anyway, Dwight says no and Negan starts to get mad, making jokes about Dwight’s dick because, and this I remember, Eugene bit it in “Twice As Far“, the 14th episode of last season. The same joint where Denise caught the arrow in the eye and Eugene was like, NOAP, not doing that, so he bit Dwight in the penis because you gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, Negan acted like he cared about Dwight’s well-being, but he doesn’t and Dwight knew that, but he’s like, nah, I’m good, and besides, I wanna torture Daryl because Negan wants him to pass it off to someone else, say, Fat Joey, because he’s fat and needs exercise, says Negan. I’m not sure if they know about Daryl, but hand to hand, I’ll give him that, he would give Fat Joey that work. Dwight also leaves because there was a radio call about a runaway worker, which now makes sense because I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

-Shoutout to @Starr_Rocque on Twitter who said, “The ironic thing about Negan is as sociopathic as he is, he’s anti-rape”. He did say to Dwight that he could have whichever wife he wanted, as long as they said yes. Again, Negan is a complicated man.

-Doesn’t even matter because this probably won’t get to that point. Fat Joey is watching the cell and gives Daryl a sandwich, but doesn’t lock the cell, which is why they were so intent on making you hear that door lock. Daryl sneaks out and creeps around the hallways, while Dwight is out looking for the runaway worker on Daryl’s motorcycle, and I kinda wanna call him “Bootleg Daryl” now. He also reminds me of Rat from Sons Of Anarchy to the point that I had to see if it was the same dude (it’s not). He has to get off the bike to navigate his way through a walker obstacle course, which should be on the next season of Survivor, and then a walker falls from an overpass, apparently, because that shit came outta nowhere. There is a struggle and Dwight wins, obviously. Another thing I can’t wait for? The episode this season where the zombies win and feast. There are usually 1-2 per season, because we all know major/quasi-major characters aren’t dying when this shit happens. Dwight is major enough now that he ain’t dying via zombie.

-Meanwhile, Daryl is creepin’ along, tryna find a way out and Sherry catches up to him, and tells him to go back because when he gets caught, it’ll be worse. I think Negan needs to give her a job at tracking and finding people, and not being a human incubator. Daryl being Daryl is like, NAH, and sneaks outside where he sees a buncha motorcycles and is like, hey, I’m free….and then he is surrounded by Saviors. Negan walks up with Lucille and and says, “are we pissing our pants yet?”. He tells Daryl his options: working for Negan and basically living the life, working for points, which means out in the yard, or dying. He doesn’t say anything, which I would take for picking death, but Negan is cool about it, swinging Lucille at him, but stopping short of hitting him, which amuses Negan because Daryl doesn’t flinch. See, everyone knows that ain’t happening. Anyway, Negan walks away and the Saviors jump Daryl, which I wanted to see more of.

-In his cell, Sherry tells Daryl that she is sorry for jumping him in the woods and taking his shit. Daryl’s like, man, unless you’re tryna help, go play somewhere. She was tryna maybe make him feel better. It didn’t work.

-Dwight saves the runaway worker, named Gordon, from a walker, and Gordon was one of the Saviors that kneeled to Negan at the beginning of the episode. Dwight points a gun at Gordon and tries to walk him back to the Sanctuary, and Gordon is like, man, fuck it, kill me, why do we let one guy with a bat walk in and run our lives, which is a fair question. I wonder if Negan just showed up with Lucille and a couple homies and was like, this is my shit now….that’s what it sounds like. Dwight counters that he’ll put everyone he loves on the wall, which gets Gordon going, and while it seems like Dwight is catchin’ what Gordon is saying, he shoots him anyway. He gets back to the Sanctuary, where Sherry meets him for a smoke, and Dwight asks, “is he good to you”, meaning Negan, and then when she says yes, Dwight says that they did the right thing and it is better than being dead. So that’s it…..Sherry was Dwight’s wife and Negan snatched that. Oh yeah, Dwight will have a hand in Negan’s downfall, or he’ll die trying, which is more likely.

-Dwight goes to give Daryl food, but he doesn’t want it, so Dwight puts a picture on the wall of the cell, and I don’t even have to guess what it is….it’s a picture of dead Glenn and while Daryl a long time to cry, he gets it out eventually. I have a feeling this has happened before, I wanna say last season, and he was leaning against a tree or something. He cries. I smiled. It was good.

-Oh, this week on Fear The Walking Dead: Passage, the two women decide that they’re going to Mexico via tunnel and in this election season, I’m not even gon’ touch that one.

-Dwight takes Daryl to an apartment, and Negan tells the story of how Dwight became his main man: Dwight, Sherry and her sister, Tina, worked for points, which she used for diabetic medication, but she came up short, so Negan was like, marry me, because romance isn’t dead in TWD’s world. The three of them stole some medicine and ran, which is when they first met Daryl, but Tina ended up getting eating by zombies and they had to go back. Dwight asked for forgiveness and Negan did it, but he took Sherry (she offered) and burned Dwight’s face with an iron. His idea of forgiveness kinda sucks. Anyway, the plan is for Daryl to live here because Negan likes him, but he asks who Daryl is and after a long pause and Negan asking one more time, he says his own name and not Negan. Good for him.

-Back to the cell for him, and Dwight is yelling at him for not wanting to get better at life, and Daryl says some shit about understanding why Dwight did it, it was for someone else, which is why Daryl can’t do it, or some other fake-deep shit. So who is it? Is it Glenn? Is it Beth? Is it Maggie? Because she owes him a fucking BEATDOWN when they see each other again. Like, a good year’s worth of kicking his ass every single day. The episode ends with Dwight looking at the fence and there is a new walker….it’s Gordon.

I knew that going into this episode, it would be a Daryl episode, and forgive me for not liking it…I just don’t like that dude and I’m not here for feeling sympathetic towards him. The Dwight stuff, I did like because he was just doing what he had to do, and yeah, he gotta try and get at Negan at some point before he dies, which will be how he dies, I take it. But we also need to find out more about how Negan got to the Sanctuary, which I think we will (no comic stuff, please). Next week, we’re back at Alexandria as Negan goes to pick up an order, and I saw Michonne with a machine gun, so that’s promising. Don’t do anything stupid, missus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Walking Dead S07E02 – The Well

After the insanity of the seventh-season premiere, The Walking Dead returns with “The Well”, which allows everyone to take a breather and we’re introduced to the newest community, the Kingdom, and now, we can all move on last week, right? Right.

Although I feel kinda bad for Abe…..no one cared about him hahaha….still tho, no more Glenn jokes for me. I’m so good with those.

Let’s go….

ezekiel

-So, I missed pretty much everything up to the opening credits because I was watching soccer (shoutout to Toronto FC, we’re halfway there, boys). But from what I gathered, we go back to Carol, who was shot by the Saviors at the end of last season, but is rescued by Morgan and some guys on horses. Carol, obviously a mess, goes back to sleep, wakes up, hallucinates and walks into a buncha walkers and has to be rescued again, then she sleeps for two days. Does that about cover it? This will probably happen again next week because soccer trumps The Walking Dead in these streets.

-Anyway, she wakes up and Morgan is pushing her around the Kingdom in a wheelchair, which seems like a dream because children are playing and people are laughing, basically, any community we’re introduced to this show. He says they can go back to Alexandria in a week when she is better, but he wants her to meet King Ezekiel, and yooooo……this dude is chillin’ on a throne with a big-ass tiger named Shiva. He welcomes Carol with this kingly accent, offers her some fruit because it’s fruit day and behind him is a wise-cracking Asian guard named, um, I’m not sure, but dude is pretty good. Carol, looking up in the air to find the jig, goes into Casserole Carol mode with this look on her face like, come on, dogg, this can’t be real, and refuses the pomegranate, which I don’t think I’ve ever had, but shoot, I wanted to take one. They leave and Carol is like, this place is crazy, they’re crazy and I’m out, but Morgan won’t allow it, even though he knows that if Carol wants to leave, she’ll leave.

-Ezekiel leaves with Morgan, this kid Ben, this girl (I don’t know if we got her name) and this cat named Richard, and they’re corralling pigs into a room where they eat a walker because as Richard says, they want their pigs to be filled with rot, which sounds disgusting. They run into more walkers and Ben is instructed to kill one with a machete, but he struggles and Ezekiel saves him, but he wants Morgan to keep the pig hunt a secret for whatever reason, which we’ll learn later. He also wants Morgan to train Ben with the staff because he needs to keep Ben alive. Ezekiel has taken a liking to Ben, and I have my theory about why. All I’m saying is, I run into another brotha and he got a tiger, I’m rollin’ with him. But that’s too many of us on the show now, so someone gotta go.

-I think it was also here that Morgan tells Ezekiel that he could have saved the Savior that he shot to save Carol, and I’m not really here for another season of Morgan tryna save everyone. You saved Carol, that’s important. These Saviors ain’t shit, bruh. They’re too far gone. This dude will really try to have a non-violent sitdown with Negan, and I’d love to see how that would go down.

-Anyway, this awful choir sings through this montage of Morgan training Ben, Ezekiel watching, and Carol wheelin’ around, stealing clothes and knives, both of which were amazing. The knife was sitting on a table and she rolled by it, and then you see this hand just yoink that shit off the table, but we just see the hand and I actually laughed out loud. Then the clothes, she basically told this man to look over there, and put the clothes under her blanket. I think she might have sighed when she did it too, like, y’all mufuckas are stupid.

-Ben wants to read Morgan’s “Art Of Peace” book, then Ezekiel tells them to come on this run and Richard tells Morgan to bring his gun, which I didn’t think he had. They go to meet a group of Saviors and it turns out the pigs were for them because the Kingdom is also on this pay-as-you-go-or-you-die plan with the Saviors, who are just runnin’ everyone’s pockets outchea in these streets. One of the Saviors picks a fight with Richard, who could easily destroy this guy, but Ezekiel tells him to stand down and Richard just takes two shots from the Savior until their leader, Gavin, who I’m pretty sure we met last season, tells him to stop. Anyway, this is meat week and next is produce week, and Gavin warns Ezekiel that if he gets less than what is on his list, Richard is the first to die. Jokes on y’all, tho…..you’re eating walker bacon…..walker pork chops…..all that shit. And that CAN’T be good for the digestive tract. Oh, and the girl that went with them earlier, her name is Dianne, apparently.

-They get back to the Kingdom and over dinner, we learn that Ben has a younger brother and their father was here, but he died while clearing out a building with walkers, and I bet that is absolutely not what happened, but what Ezekiel told him. Ben also says that Ezekiel is hiding this deal from the Saviors because if he told the Kingdom, they’d wanna fight and well, I don’t think they know this yet, but they’re definitely not built for that shit in the slightest. Then he asks Morgan if he is against killing and Morgan is like, sometimes, we change our minds…..word, Morgan? See, and this is just it…you gotta kill in the zombie apocalypse. You just gotta. You don’t have to like it, in fact, it’s kinda weird if you do. But you gotta kill. You’re not saving the Saviors. They all gotta die. But he knows them and now he has the Kingdom, and they’re all gon’ team up with Rick and ’em and bring down Negan, so it’s just a matter of how they get there.

-Shoutout to the Fear The Walking Dead commercial snippets that are back. This series is called Passage and so far, some girl is following another girl towards, well, I’m not sure yet. It’s all very vague and they seem to be hiding in some sort of test compound, and they’ll flesh it out. Flight 462 from last season was so much better than the actual Fear TWD, and I expect this to be good as well, and then we’ll get to Fear and it’ll be terrible.

-Morgan goes to bring Carol some food, but she’s long gone. She is out in the garden, stealing fruit and she is caught by Ezekiel and that guard, who chucks up the deuces as he leaves and man, he’s pretty damn good. But we learn that Ezekiel knows Carol is faking her act because as he says, you can’t bullshit a bullshitter. Ezekiel drops the accent and sounds like he might have ad-libs on a Southern rap record, and he used to be a zookeeper before everything went down. Basically he rolled up on this community with a tiger and they had no leader, so Ezekiel (which is actually his name) threw on this accent because he did a little acting, and he assumed the role because people want to feel safe…..and I bet it was largely because he had a tiger that didn’t want to eat him (he saved Shiva from bleeding to death, so the tiger is down with him). And you know, he is right. Same shit happened in Alexandria, same shit happened with the Woodbury and the Governor, and I bet the same shit happened with Negan and the Saviors. Someone has to step up and lead. So why not the dude with the tiger?

-HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THE DUDE HAS A TIGER THO?

-Carol thinks it’s all some bullshit, but I think she comes to respect Ezekiel a little bit. Still, she wants to go and Ezekiel is like, cool, but I think I have a solution where she goes, but she doesn’t. The house from the beginning was a caretaker’s cottage, so it’s not on Kingdom property, but it’s close enough. Morgan takes her out there and tells her that she is one of his favorite people that he ever knocked out, so that’s nice. Carol goes into the house and kills the Old Woman Walker that almost got her at the beginning, and then she makes a fire. Ezekiel comes by with a pomegranate and she smiles……and if there is one thing The Walking Dead is here for, it’s interracial relationships. We got Rick and Michonne, there was Sasha and Abe, Abe and Rosita, Glenn and Maggie, Tyreese and Karen, if she wouldn’t have been stupid and tried to stab that cop, there would have been Beth and Noah….anyway, you get the point…..keep an eye on that.

I was excited for the Kingdom basically since I saw a preseason trailer with Ezekiel, and I kinda wish that they would stay here for a couple episodes, but there is no time for that. I think next week is about fuckass Daryl, probably not dying, and unless he’s dying, I don’t care. They’ll probably split that with Rick and ’em, and not even Rick, I wanna see how Maggie is doing. Anyway, I think we have everyone that we need to know on board, so the march to the midseason finale of The Walking Dead really begins.

Mad Men S07E10 – The Forecast

There seemed to be a consensus that “New Business”, the previous episode of Mad Men, was at best, confusing and at worst, a waste of time. But in “The Forecast”, the women step into the spotlight and bring the show back in what was quite an improvement in my opinion. Let’s go….

-We open with a blond lady walking into Don’s quasi-empty apartment, so it’s right to assume that she is another in Don’s harem, right? Well, it’s actually a real-estate agent who is being tasked with selling Don’s place, which is now anchored by a lawn chair and a bottle of alcohol on the table. She chastises Don (who was in bed) for not having the place more presentable for her and Don is like, this is your job and while he doesn’t sell real estate, if there is one thing that Don Draper is good at, it’s selling stuff.

-Joan is awakened by a phone call from her mother, and her son is on the phone as well. It We can surmise that Joan is away on a business trip, and to tell you the truth, I even forgot she had a son. Parenting has never been a major priority on Mad Men, from the Draper kids to Roger’s hippy daughter and more.

-Don visits Roger, who has to go to Bermuda to make a speech for the people at McCann, so Don has to write¬†something to rally the troops, which is another thing that Don, well, he isn’t terrible at it.

-Joan heads to her meeting and we see Lou, remember him from last season? A little sensitive over Don, wasn’t the biggest fan of women? Well, he seems to be a little more relaxed now, but he still manages to blow Joan off. Joan plays it cool, but she doesn’t have time for this.

-Don is going over his speech with Meredith, who mixes up “space station” for “gas station” and it is now officially a gag as she hit that “Manson brothers” last week instead of “family”. then Peggy storms in to ask Don to sign off on the Peter Pan cookie tagline and when Meredith tries to say that Don is busy, Peggy is like, I wasn’t even talkin’ to you. I’m all for Peggy getting some guts about her, but Meredith hasn’t done anything to anyone and she’s so dense that it’s almost like picking on her.

-Don goes into a boardroom to hear these taglines, which are all pretty bad, but Don picks one and keeps it movin’. They really are all terrible. But Peggy feels like they accomplished something, so I’m okay with it.

-Lou is late getting back to the office, and she learns from Dee (his secretary) that he has a meeting with Hanna-Barbara for those cartoons he was working on back in New York, but people made fun of him for it. I’m pretty sure Joan had no idea about it, so she’s surprised and a little pissed because she hasn’t done anything yet, but she does greet whom she thinks is the first person she is interviewing….but Lou shows up with the person in tow, and this man she was talking to was just a guy who went to the wrong office. But he gives her his card and tells her to holla at him because why not? It’s Joan. Shoot your shot, homie.

-We get our first glimpse of Sally, who is getting ready to go on some sort of summer trip and Betty is tryna warn her to not wild out as she was known to do, and Sally makes a joke about being pregnant. Betty tries to be mad, but on the inside, I know she was like, you asshole, you’re so much like me and your father. Keep that in the back of your head.

-Don returns home and his agent is still on him as she can’t sell the place looking like it does, and she tells Don that, to other people, it looks like a sad person lives here. You know, she isn’t wrong, but Don has to be like, so I’m not paying for your psychoanalysis, I’m paying you to sell my place. I’m all for people telling Don about himself, but not this lady for some reason.

-We skip ahead to Joan in bed with that man, whose name is Richard, and hey, good on her; the guys in Mad Men do it all time, do your thing, Joan. They shoot the shit, they’re both divorced and he seems to want Joan to stay, and she doesn’t tell him that she has a son in New York.

-Don goes to speak to Ted, and he finds out that Ted’s biggest dream is to land a bigger account, not something outside of the office and this has been a theme over the last three episodes: what is life all about? While Don has always been looking for meaning of some sort, they’re really kicking it into high gear now, using this speech that he has to write that he can really do in his sleep to show that. As for Ted, I think the whole thing with Peggy last season really scared him into being as ” normal” as possible.

-Joan gets a call from Richard, who is now in New York and wants to go to dinner. He wants to know if he should meet her at work or home and Joan is like, yeah, I’ll just see you there. He is now gone past shooting his shoot and is going for the triple-double. That’s a bit creepy, no? Fly across the country after a night and then start tryna track her at work and home? Maybe it’s me being paranoid.

-Pete and Peggy tell Don that the clients they were with earlier didn’t like the layout that was presented to them, and then the copywriters started fighting in the meeting, which is never good. Pete wants them gone and Peggy says he can’t fire them, and Pete counters that he can fire her. At this point, I honestly have no idea what the hierarchy is at the firm, I don’t know who the partners are outside of Roger, Joan and I think Pete, I thought Don was a partner, but I think they took that away from him, yet everyone still runs to him. Anyway, Peggy should have just kicked him in the balls and kept it movin’. Smarmy-ass Pete.

-Sally gets a visitor, our old friend Glen, who is older now, but looks just as creepy. He also has a girlfriend who just wants to use the bathroom, but then Betty comes out and starts a conversation with Glen and Sally is like, uhhhhhh…..what is this? Glen has ALWAYS been drawn to Betty since he was a kid, but now he isn’t a kid; he is apparently going off to war because he feels bad that the Negro kids are dying for them, and this might be the least racist thing Mad Men has ever done. Only took ’em seven-plus seasons, but hey, gotta start somewhere. Sally storms off because she’s against the war and asks Glen if he’s fucking stupid (WHICH IS AWESOME because they bleeped out Megan’s “fucking” last week, but not little Sally), but Betty tries to smooth things over and I also think that Sally is jealous of the little thing going between Betty and Glen, all while being disgusted with her mother; we’ve all seen her give Betty and Don that look before. And shoutout to his girlfriend who is in the back like, I was just tryna use the bathroom.

-Richard and Joan are at dinner, and he seriously thinks she is hiding something, like a marriage, but it is really her son. Now, here is the thing: if you really thought she was married, you still flew across the country to see her, bruh. So even if she is or she isn’t, you might be a slight dirtbag.

-Sally tries to call Glen, but leaves a message with his mother and yeah, she is definitely jealous, with a tinge of “my friend is going to war and I might never see him again”. Maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, I felt bad for Sally. She should have been Dana from Homeland.

-Richard and Joan gets back to her hotel and she stays for a bit after persuading her babysitter to stay at her place. But then Richard says he doesn’t want to deal with a kid because he already raised his and gets a little….I don’t know, he’s assuming an awful lot from one night in Los Angeles and a dinner. Taking it slow is not in his arsenal. He actually gets mad and Joan is like, well, I guess I’m out. Yeah, he’s all up in Dirtbagville for no damn reason, either.

-Peggy asks Don to give her a performance review, which Don is like, you know you did well, but Peggy wants to hear it from him because she has always wanted Don’s approval, whether she likes it or not, and it might lead to more money. Then Don starts asking her what she thinks for the future, which I thought was a fair question, and Peggy kinda snaps on him, telling him that he is in a mood and he should write down his dreams so she can shit on them (TWO CURSES!). I honestly don’t think Don meant anything by it, unless I missed something.

-Joan’s babysitter shows up late because she was in class, and Joan is in a mood anyway because of last night. The babysitter then says to Joan that she (Joan) needs a vacation and he snaps, yelling, “YOU RUINED MY LIFE”, which was definitely directed at Kevin, her son, who says bye-bye to her as she left and made her feel like an asshole. GOOD. I think this might be my first anti-Joan moment in the entire show.

-Pete, Peggy and the copywriters get another chance at a meeting, and one of them, Mathis, I believe, does something that Don told him to do earlier, telling the Peter Pan execs that they had big balls for returning after embarrassing themselves. Don had done this in the past somewhere along the line and it probably sounded better coming from him, but Pete and Peggy are mortified and the other copywriter might have been quietly partyin’ on the inside. I don’t even know what Mathis is thinking, but it was the wrong way to go.

-Don is working on his speech with Meredith when Mathis storms in and berates Don for giving him the wrong advice, that Don never has to apologize for anything and that his main skill is being handsome and charming and the like. I mean, the kid might even have a bit of a point, but guess what: you are not Don Draper and that was NEVER going to work. So of course, Don fires him and the kid is lucky he didn’t get his ass kicked. He was tryna spit some ether at Don and came off looking like a complete asshole. Don might have to cuss someone out, mufuckas are startin’ to test him a little bit too much.

-Richard shows up at the office to apologize with flowers and now he wants to be a part of Joan’s life, and he wants to buy property in New York. I can’t be the only one who finds this kinda insane, am I? I’m all for love at first sight and all that, but good grief, let’s take it down a gear.

-Glen shows up at the house, but not to see Sally, who has left for her trip. He gets a beer from Betty and starts putting the moves on her, and she ALMOST reciprocates it, but she shows remarkable restraint and backs away. It turns out that he was joining the Army because he flunked out of school and it made his dad happy, but he also thought that would bring Betty into the Glen party, which is an odd way of thinking, especially when they haven’t seen each other in years, he’s a kid and she’s a grown-ass woman. She actually tears up and I’ve never been a huge Betty fan, but I think if this was her big episode to go out on, it was a good one.

-Don is out with Sally and her friends, one girl who is obviously flirting with Don and he’s tryna keep it as PG as possible, but Sally is steaming because she knows how her father is and as they’re walking to her bus, they get into it. Sally says that her dream (which Don has been asking everyone about) is to get away as far from Betty and Don as possible, but Don is like, I won’t be talked to like this by my damn kid, and tells her the truth: she is more like the two of them than she wants to admit. We all go through that stage growing up, hell, I’m still realizing how much I’m like my parents, even though my biological parents got divorced when I was mad young. No kid wants to come face-to-face with that, but we’ve seen it with Sally as we’ve watched her grow up; go back to “A Day’s Work“, the second episode of this season, and you see it. She knows it, too; she’s just a stubborn teenager.

-Betty takes Bobby’s toy gun away and yeah, she’s having second thoughts about the war, which might play into her husband’s political career, so keep an eye on that.

-Don returns home to see that the place has been sold, which he said he had a feeling would happen. But he’s kinda looking at the place and everything that has gone on there; if I’m not mistaken, this has been his home since Betty divorced him and all sorts of feelings are hittin’ the Draper streets.

This is a fantastic episode of Mad Men and when it is at its best, it deserves all the credit they receives and more. Don is still tryna figure life out, Joan is tryna figure out how to be a mother and get what she wants, Peggy just wants someone (preferably Don) to tell her she’s doing a good job, even though she knows she is, and Sally, honestly, I’d watch a spinoff of her. Sally goes to college? Come on, bruh. That shit would be so good and it’s not like AMC is averse to spinoffs. Four episodes left, and if they’re all as good as this one, we’re in for quite the finale.