Monthly Archives: March 2014

The Walking Dead S04E16 – A

The finale for The Walking Dead was always going to come back to Rick, Carl and Michonne because Rick is the main protagonist of the show, whether we like it or not. However, the Rick we see in “A” (back to the beginning, maybe?) is the one we have been looking for since season 2. Let’s go……

-We start off with a flashback of happier days of the prison, and we see Herschel. I miss Hersh Dogg. He was just trying to be a good person by the end of it. Then we head back to the present, where Rick is sitting outside of a truck with blood all over his face and no sign of Carl or Michonne, and he is shaking. Awwwwwwwwwwww yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

-After the credits, we get Rick, Carl and Michonne camped out, and they’re about to go and check on Rick’s snares; they’re pretty hungry and have been on the run since leaving that house. My question is, where are people getting all this barbed wire? It’s smart to put up around you so walkers can’t get at you while you sleep, but are mufuckas carrying this around? Are they already set up in the woods? Anyway, Carl is asking Rick if they’re going to tell the people at Terminus what they have been through when they get there, and who they even are at this point. That has been a theme of The Walking Dead for a couple of years now, hell, Rick wanted to be a damn farmer earlier in the season. But this show isn’t one to be subtle, so Carl throws it out there.

-As they continue through the woods, they hear a man screaming and for some reason, Carl just takes off. Has he not learned anything? It doesn’t even sound like someone they know. The trio finds a man surrounded by walkers and Carl goes to shoot them, but Rick stops him and says they can’t save him, which makes perfect sense. There are about 20-30 of these walkers, and they have limited ammo, which they need to save. So the walkers go HAM on this dude, start eating his eyes and whatnot and just converge on him. It was pretty good. But the trio gets noticed by a few walkers on the edge of the feeding frenzy anyway, so they have to start running.

-Flash back to the prison once again, and Herschel wakes up Rick to see something, telling him to leave his gun behind, saying it will just get in the way. Oh Hersh Dogg, you and your non-violent ways. Keep this in your mind.

-In the present, Rick and Michonne are sitting by a fire outside of the truck we saw earlier, and Carl is sleeping in there. They think they hear a noise in the woods, but think nothing of it. Then, Joe and his crew run up on them with guns to the temple. They want revenge for Rick killing their man at the house, even though that man would have killed Rick…hell, that crew would have. Sounds kinda hypocritical, but hey, everything goes in the zombie apocalypse.

-Daryl steps up and wants Joe to let the trio go, even offering himself up in exchange, but Joe is an asshole and just wants vengeance. He says they’re good people, and Joe says that is a lie, so he sics his crew on Daryl to beat him like they did to that cop. Joe’s moral sensibilities are hilarious, because he is planning to rape Michonne (which, if you read the comic, you’ll know, that shit is FUCKED) and then Carl, which is when I was like, “get the fuck outta here”. Damn, y’all already killed two little girls, now Carl is about to get a train run on him? Good grief.

-Rick has seen enough and headbutts Joe, which makes the gun go off. Here, I thought the bullet hit Carl, but it didn’t. Joe gets the better of the first fight and really, starts kicking Rick’s ass, while Daryl is REALLY gettin’ that work from Joe’s boys. But as Joe pulls Rick up to him, Rick snaps and bites his jugular….that’s right. I stood the fuck up and cheered. It was GREAT. Joe’s boys are so stunned that Daryl manages to get the upper hand on the dudes kickin’ his ass, while Michonne shoots another guy. The guy who was planning to rape Carl is holding him with a knife, but Rick gives no fucks about this, takes the knife and proceeds to stab the entire and complete dogshit outta this dude. The camera focuses on Carl, who is being held by Michonne now, and all you can hear is stabbing, more and more stabbing. It was incredible. We know Rick has this side to him, but we haven’t seen it in a while. It was a good change from him, you know, being a bitch for most of this season.

-Back to Herschel and Rick, and the former wants to teach the latter how to farm, saying that he needs to teach Carl so he can survive. But is Rick going to teach him the non-violent way, or the other? That is the question Herschel asks, and likely something Rick has been struggling with since that conversation. But you can do both and in the world of The Walking Dead, it’s best to be able to go between both.

-Now we get to the Rick we see in the opening, and he and Daryl catch up on what they’ve been doing. Rick calls Daryl his brother, and they have a moment, which is nice, they’ve been through a lot together. But Rick asks about Beth and Daryl is like, “she’s just gone”. What the hell? Gone? What kinda shit is that? They better address that at some point.

-The group of four, now, continue walking towards Terminus, and they find a sign, which means they have to be close. Rick buries more weapons, you know, just in case. Not a bad idea. They spread out a little, and Carl goes with Michonne, where she tells him her story and we learn that the walkers she had on a leash when we first met her, were indeed her boyfriend and her friend. They (not Michonne) were high when their camp was overrun, and Michonne let them turn instead of killing them, which made her feel guilty, so she kept them with her as not only protection from other walkers, but as a memory. She calls herself a monster, but as I said before, you have to be able to go between both in The Walking Dead. Carl is dealing with that as well.

-They jump a fence, which is funny when you remember that they could have just walked through the front door. They literally walk inside to a lady recording radio announcements, and a bunch of other people doing random things. They are approached by two men, Gareth and Alex, who pats them down and checks out their weapons while Gareth gives them a welcome speech. Gareth takes them outside and asks Mary, who we met when Glenn’s crew first got to Terminus, to fix them a plate. Mary just sits at the grill all day like it’s a cookout, I guess. But Rick notices that Alex has a watch….the watch that Herschel gave to Glenn and he jacks Alex, putting a gun to his head. I didn’t notice someone wearing the riot suit that Glenn traded to Eugene and Abraham, so that means the gang is all here.

-Flash back again to the old days, and Rick is trying to get Carl to help him with the farming stuff, but Carl is cleaning a gun and can’t be bothered to even talk to Rick, who throws out Herschel’s “you won’t need your gun”. I guess he wants to try Hersh Dogg’s way, but that won’t last long.

-In the present, the group is surrounded by the people of Terminus, who are armed to the tits. A sniper shoots Alex in the head, and Rick and his crew scatter. I have written down that the Terminus people are some of the worst shooters in the history of television as Rick and company are in the open, yet not getting it. However, this was on purpose as they were trying to lead the group to a freight car, which is labelled “A”, hence the name of the episode. Along the way, Rick and ’em go through a room filled with candles and a number of phrases on the wall: “NEVER AGAIN”, “NEVER TRUST”, “WE, FIRST, ALWAYS”. Who the hell are these people?

-Once they get to the car, the group is literally surrounded by shooters both inside and outside the fence. They drop their weapons and Gareth starts spitting instructions, telling Rick, Daryl, Michonne and eventually Carl, to walk up to the train car. For some reason, I had the strangest feeling that Carl was gon’ get it. What do they find inside the car? Glenn, Maggie, Sasha, Bob, Abraham, Rosita and Eugene are there, waiting. Maggie says something along the lines of, “they saved us”, and that leads me to believe that something is mad fishy about these people (like we didn’t know that already).

-Rick was like, “they’re gon’ feel pretty stupid when they find out”, and Abraham says, “find out what?”. There are a bunch of camera cuts on every single character before landing on Rick, who states, “they’re screwin’ with the wrong people”. I burst out laughing. All Rick needed to do was throw on Horatio’s shades from CSI: Miami. It was so good. I’m laughing just thinking about the corniness right now.

The three-episode arc to close out season 4 of The Walking Dead is why this show is so frustrating. When it’s good? It is fantastic. “A” was filled with action (YO……Rick bit a man’s whole fucking throat out, b!!!!), tension, new characters, old characters, flashbacks, a nod to the future, and enough questions to keep you interested for next season (seriously, where the hell is Beth?). I also realized that this episode was directed by Michelle McLaren, and while I don’t claim to be an expert on directing, I’d like to think that I know good directing when I see it and she was responsible for a slew of great episodes from The X-Files to Breaking Bad to Game Of Thrones (the first two are in my top five shows of all time, while GOT has a great chance to get in there by the time it is done). She is also Canadian, so shoutout to us. This episode packed a lot into 43 minutes, but it never seemed like it was too much. It was an excellent way to end season 4 of The Walking Dead, and I’m in with two feet for next season, when (and this is just my prediction) Killa Carol and Tyreese come through and crush the Terminus buildings.


Big Brother Canada 2 – It’s All Happening Now!

So, I’ve been watching Big Brother for damn near a decade now. It’s my guilty pleasure. It’s not even really a guilty pleasure, but I realize the majority of the world believes it’s some fuckery because, well, it is. Anyway, the second season of Big Brother Canada has been pretty entertaining, but shit really went down this week. This is a Skype conversation that went down between myself and the homegirl Holly, who got me into this show. We were planning on doing this weekly, but we’re lazy, so we’ll probably just do it when something major happens.

[10:49:24 AM] Neil: so that was quite the episode of Big Brother

[10:49:58 AM] Holly: Ika totally knew everyone was listening

[10:50:16 AM] Holly: at first I didn’t think she did, but then she started calling out the five alliance, and just ripping on all of them

[10:50:26 AM] Holly: and when she shredded those letters. OOOWEEEE

[10:51:51 AM] Neil: absolutely

[10:51:53 AM] Neil: and for real

[10:52:01 AM] Neil: fuck them, man

[10:53:21 AM] Holly: Kenny and Andrew were fucking assholes

[10:53:55 AM] Holly: giving her the finger and crying, over a fucking letter. Peter said it best on the after show, if you are in the house to get letters from home, you’re in there for the wrong reasons

[10:55:34 AM] Holly: when that screen went up and she saw everyone upset and started laughing, I lost it

[10:57:13 AM] Neil: pretty much

[10:57:19 AM] Neil: like, seriously

[10:57:42 AM] Neil: you’re away from home for what, just over two months?

[10:57:56 AM] Holly: they’ve only been away for a month now

[10:58:35 AM] Neil: at least Sarah was like, we deserve it

[10:58:53 AM] Neil: someone was like, i understand, but it was mean

[10:59:01 AM] Neil: you better leave those feelings at the door

[10:59:11 AM] Holly: damn right it was mean, its frigging Big Brother

[10:59:47 AM] Holly: and now Canada is HOH, so all those butthurt feelings Andrew and Kenny and Sabrina have are gonna be worse when they find out Canada hates them and they go on the block

[11:01:06 AM] Neil: Sabrina’s crocodile tears and shit

[11:01:10 AM] Neil: fuck outta here

[11:03:46 AM] Holly: Kenny tries to look tough with his beard, and not wearing a shirt and his tattoos, but really he’s just an emotional whiny baby that cries when he doesn’t get his way

[11:05:18 AM] Neil: yup

[11:05:33 AM] Holly: I sure had him pegged wrong

[11:06:07 AM] Neil: I want him and andrew up

[11:06:24 AM] Neil: or some combination of him, Andrew or Sabrina

[11:06:28 AM] Holly: by the sounds of the internet that’s gonna happen

[11:06:39 AM] Neil: Sabrina, you can use because she will whore herself out to anyone

[11:06:43 AM] Holly: Him, Andrew and Sabrina are getting most of the votes.

[11:07:00 AM] Holly: people should vote for Sarah too

[11:07:06 AM] Holly: just everyone in that alliance

[11:08:31 AM] Neil: who is the fifth again?

[11:08:34 AM] Neil: Arlie?

[11:08:44 AM] Holly: I think so

[11:09:05 AM] Neil: I don’t mind Sarah so much

[11:09:30 AM] Neil: she’s pretty real compared to the rest

[11:09:32 AM] Holly: me neither, but we want to send a message to the house that their alliance is fucked

[11:11:26 AM] Neil: I wanna see how fast Sabrina will throw Rachelle in the bushes

[11:12:00 AM] Holly: Sabrina is such an idiot

[11:12:29 AM] Holly: she is delusional, she was saying on the feeds last night that she knows canada loves her so she wont go up

[11:12:52 AM] Holly: she thinks doing other people’s dirty work is gonna pay off for her. When has it ever paid off for anyone ever in Big Brother?

[11:20:49 AM] Neil: you can do all that shit without being as sketchy as she has been

[11:21:19 AM] Holly: or be likeable

[11:21:36 AM] Holly: Andrew and Kenny think they are Mike and Boogie right now. But they are not likeable

[11:22:26 AM] Holly: that’s what made Chilltown so good, they had everyone do all their work for them, but everyone loved them. They were fun, they didn’t fight with people or pick sides, they just came up with stupid things to do in the house and made up dances

[11:22:35 AM] Holly: er, Will and Boogie, sorry

[11:23:32 AM] Holly: Peter came close last year, everyone liked him and he was never winning HOH or veto but had a hand in everything, then he got all vagina mesmorized with Liza and it ruined him

[11:25:26 AM] Neil: YUP

[11:26:38 AM] Neil: and why they keep doing this to the black girls?

[11:26:48 AM] Neil: SO MUCH CISM

[11:27:42 AM] Holly: probably because they think black girls are sassy and will say some nasty shit out loud

[11:27:51 AM] Holly: which, let’s be real, happened both times

[11:27:53 AM] Holly: haha

[11:28:03 AM] Neil: hahaha

[11:28:23 AM] Holly: but who’s to say a white person wouldn’t have done the same

[11:28:29 AM] Holly: I would have done the exact same thing

[11:28:47 AM] Holly: I woulda talked smack, shredded those letters and did a little dance while I was doing it

[11:29:20 AM] Holly: then I would have been standing in front of the screen with the cheque waiting for it to go up so the houseguests could see me humping it and laughing

[11:30:05 AM] Neil: hahaha

[11:30:14 AM] Neil: seriously tho

[11:30:23 AM] Neil: they were voting her out anyway

[11:30:29 AM] Holly: of course!

[11:30:37 AM] Holly: even if she had have given them the letters

[11:30:46 AM] Neil: give me ONE good reason why i should give you your letters?

[11:30:49 AM] Neil: JUST ONE

[11:31:09 AM] Holly: besides, it’s JUST LETTERS

[11:32:08 AM] Holly: what do they say? Oh hai, life’s alright, the cats doing well, see ya soon?

[11:32:27 AM] Holly: thanks for the news bulletin

[11:33:09 AM] Neil: basically

[11:33:20 AM] Neil: i’ll talk to yall when i get outside

[11:33:28 AM] Neil: that’ll just fuck with your focus

[11:33:58 AM] Neil: Sabrina with her fuck shit


[11:34:13 AM] Neil: if you don’t shut the entire and complete fuck up

[11:41:39 AM] Holly: Sabrina would get two words into her letter and start bawling.

[11:41:59 AM] Holly: you know cries a lot and you don’t see it? Sarah

[11:42:18 AM] Holly: She cried the other day because Andrew asked her if the diary room gave her her Ativan yet

[11:42:23 AM] Holly: two things.

[11:42:34 AM] Holly: 1. The fuck kinda thing is that to cry over?

[11:43:01 AM] Holly: 2. I would be on Ativan all day erryday in that damm house. Just floated around, giving -49 fucks

[11:43:24 AM] Neil: hahahaha

[11:43:46 AM] Neil: making pillow forts in the pool even though you can’t swim and shit

[11:45:41 AM] Holly: that pillow fort was awesome!

[11:45:57 AM] Holly: Pillow Forts: making enemies into frenemies since 2014

[11:46:55 AM] Neil: Ika and Heather were partyin like shit in there

[11:53:10 AM] Neil: Adel hit the nail on the head too

[11:53:30 AM] Neil: Jon and Neda could roll through mufuckas if they can stick together

[11:54:51 AM] Holly: yep. those two may be the only sane ones in the house

[11:55:26 AM] Holly: Rachelle seemed promising for a minute, but she’s actually pretty dumb

[11:56:24 AM] Neil: like, 4 min into her HOH

[11:56:39 AM] Neil: how does she not know she is being played?

[11:57:03 AM] Holly: If I’m not mistaken didn’t she just straight up ask Sabrina who to nominate?

[11:57:12 AM] Holly: I didn’t even know those two were close

[11:58:06 AM] Neil: I’m pretty sure she did, and i’m pretty sure they weren’t

[11:58:23 AM] Neil: something must have happened between them on after dark

[11:58:38 AM] Neil: because i had no idea they were down like that until she got HOH

[12:00:24 PM] Neil: next thing you know they’re all buddy buddy and braiding each other’s hair and shit

[12:00:29 PM] Neil: singing kumbaya

[12:01:12 PM] Holly: wearing each other’s bras

[12:02:51 PM] Neil: meanwhile, Heather is chillin

[12:02:57 PM] Neil: hangin’ out

[12:03:04 PM] Holly: I’m hating Heather less

[12:03:05 PM] Neil: I will call her super-pawn

[12:04:19 PM] Holly: don’t get me wrong, her voice is like a dying cat and I’m sure there are two lowly brain cells left in her head

[12:04:27 PM] Holly: but she’s still not as bad as Sabrina

[12:05:30 PM] Neil: she just isn’t as

[12:05:37 PM] Neil: what is the word

[12:05:40 PM] Neil: um

[12:05:44 PM] Neil: deplorable?

[12:05:49 PM] Holly: overdramatic

[12:05:52 PM] Holly: disgusting

[12:06:08 PM] Holly: deplorable works

[12:06:35 PM] Neil: Jon hit her with that smh when she came crying to him haha

[12:07:05 PM] Holly: remember Evel Dicks season?

[12:07:09 PM] Holly: Remember MICHELLE

[12:08:08 PM] Neil: hmmmmm

[12:08:10 PM] Neil: lemme Google

[12:08:57 PM] Holly: wait

[12:08:59 PM] Holly: not Michelle

[12:09:00 PM] Holly: AMBER

[12:09:25 PM] Holly:

[12:09:44 PM] Neil: OH FUCK, HER

[12:09:54 PM] Holly:

[12:10:15 PM] Neil: she would think about the color blue and start crying

[12:10:22 PM] Neil: please let this be a crying montage

[12:10:26 PM] Holly: that video is awesome

[12:10:59 PM] Neil: and she was an ugly cryer

[12:11:19 PM] Neil: I’m wearing a tank top

[12:11:26 PM] Neil: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[12:12:00 PM] Holly:

[12:12:01 PM] Neil: I forgot how much she cried

[12:12:03 PM] Neil: good grief

[12:12:08 PM] Holly: they didn’t show this fight on the show last night

[12:14:09 PM] Neil: what fight?

[12:14:18 PM] Holly:

[12:14:27 PM] Holly: you missed the link here it is again

[12:17:05 PM] Neil: hmmmm

[12:17:14 PM] Neil: is Sabrina french?

[12:17:19 PM] Neil: she’s from laval, isn’t she?

[12:20:06 PM] Holly: yeah she is

[12:20:30 PM] Holly: so this video

[12:20:48 PM] Holly: is where Sabrina claims Ika “bumped her” on the stairs

[12:21:10 PM] Neil: I was gon say, that accent gets thrown in the bushes for the live show

[12:21:49 PM] Holly: did you watch that video?

[12:21:58 PM] Neil: trying to

[12:22:01 PM] Neil: come on now

[12:22:10 PM] Neil: my laptop is JUST closing the first video

[12:22:24 PM] Holly: k, tell me when, I have the aftermath to send too

[12:24:06 PM] Neil: uh

[12:24:08 PM] Neil: okay

[12:24:29 PM] Holly: uh what

[12:25:25 PM] Neil: like, that doesn’t qualify as a bump

[12:25:31 PM] Holly: not even a little

[12:25:41 PM] Neil: i was expecting her to throw an elbow and be like, WHAT BITCH

[12:25:45 PM] Holly: and here’s the video of Sabrina right after the fight with Ika outside

[12:25:46 PM] Holly:

[12:26:11 PM] Neil: while my shit loads

[12:26:14 PM] Neil: BRIEF ASIDE

[12:26:17 PM] Neil: Archer

Hey y’all, it’s ‪#‎Cherlene.


Gross, my fiddle smells like Pam.

[12:27:03 PM] Neil: SHE THREATENED ME

[12:27:07 PM] Neil: YOU FUCKING PUNK

[12:27:51 PM] Neil: alright, changed

[12:27:55 PM] Neil: she gotta go

[12:29:32 PM] Holly: what’s the archer thing from?

[12:29:36 PM] Holly: and yeah, shes a liar

[12:30:04 PM] Neil: i saw in on Facebook, might be an advert for that country album they’re hawking

[12:30:21 PM] Holly: diddle fiddle

[12:30:25 PM] Neil: but yeah

[12:30:28 PM] Neil: fuck her, man

[12:30:33 PM] Neil: she’s gon get found out

[12:30:47 PM] Holly: she’s just the worst

[12:30:51 PM] Neil: and then she’ll suck up to anyone

[12:31:05 PM] Neil: all that puppetmaster shit will be a thing of the past

[12:31:18 PM] Holly: being that overdramatic is terrible game play

[12:31:36 PM] Holly: make sure you vote her ass up on the Big Brother slice website

[12:32:30 PM] Holly:

[12:32:41 PM] Holly: The FINALE. Diary room called her out on her lies

[12:33:38 PM] Neil: voted for Sabrina and Kenny

[12:33:44 PM] Neil: just once, tho

[12:33:50 PM] Neil: I don’t care enough to sign up

[12:34:39 PM] Holly:

[12:34:42 PM] Holly: hahahahahaha

[12:35:18 PM] Neil: they are so seeing through her bullshit


The Walking Dead S04E15 – Us

There was no way that The Walking Dead would be able to follow up an episode as good as “The Grove” because let’s face it, it can be inconsistent at best, infuriating at worst and in reality, is probably somewhere in between. But they did give it a go with “Us”, which sets things up nicely for Sunday’s finale and that is all you can really ask for. Let’s go (I wrote notes and everything while I watched it the first time, because I’m fancy)….

-The episode opens with Glenn, Tara, Eugene, Abraham and Rosita (“Red” and “Spanish girl” in my notes, because simplicity) walking down the tracks. Eugene is trying to hit on Tara with video-game talk, which doesn’t work because she is a lesbian (and he’s just awkward as shit). As the others sleep, Eugene asks Tara why she feels so obligated to Glenn. He thinks she wants Glenn, but it’s because she feels guilty about helping the Governor attempt to take over the prison, which is fair. The next day, Tara sees a “GO TO TERMINUS” sign that Maggie wrote, and Glenn just takes off down the tracks with this smile on his face. Okay, look, I get it, he sees a sign from his wife that he has been looking for. But take a second, dude. How far do you think you’ll get sprinting down the tracks with body armor on? Anyway, this isn’t even the dumbest thing Glenn does this episode.

-Next, we have Rick, Carl and Michonne, with the latter two balancing on the tracks and betting candy on who can go the longest. Carl wins, but still shares his candy with Michonne. I don’t know why I keep thinking they’re going to become some little family, like, officially.

-Then, we switch to Daryl, Joe and their crew, and it is here that I realize they’re the crew from the house Rick was in because they keep yelling “Claimed” whenever they want something, in this case, a rabbit. Things almost get out of hand between Daryl and Len, apparently his name is, before Joe steps up like a good leader and splits the rabbit in half. See? SHARING, PEOPLE.

-Back to Glenn and that crew, Abraham wants to stop for a rest and Glenn wants to keep going when Rosita calls him an ass and selfish for basically using Tara for his mission. Someone has to try and talk some sense into him. Again, I know that he wants to find Maggie, shit, I like both of them and want this reunion too, but stop going so fucking hard. That’s how mufuckas die. They want to rest in a tower, but a walker falls out of said tower and Tara hurts her knee or ankle or something. Hasn’t she done that already? She is the Amir Johnson of The Walking Dead (basketball fans will get that….he gets hurt a lot).

-Joe makes an analogy about cats to Daryl, talking about, “there is nothing worse than an indoor cat that thinks he is an outdoor cat” or something along those lines. I get the analogy, I just think it’s really, really stupid. Poor writing, but it gets the point across, I guess.

-Glenn and that crew walk until they find a dark tunnel where you can hear walkers in there, doing walker stuff, it would seem. Glenn made an earlier deal that he would give up his body armor to Eugene if they just walked until sundown. So now Glenn wants to wander into a dark tunnel with walkers, with no body armor. I like Glenn. I really do. But he was on some real fuck shit in this episode. They’re really pushing the “love conquers all” bit and it gets kind of annoying. Oh, and he has a limpy Tara as his backup. The five people split into their original groups, Abraham, Rosita and Eugene go around and look for a car while the other two go into the tunnel, which is where we learn that Tara feels guilty about the Governor, and that is why she is helping Glenn.

-All I have in my notes is, “we better see Spanish girl again”. We continue….

-Daryl and that crew find a place, and they start claiming things. All Daryl wants to do is find a spot on the floor and sleep. Can he claim the entire floor? I totally would.

-Glenn and Tara find a section of the tunnel where the roof is collapsed, and that is where the walker noises are coming from because they’re stuck in the rubble. Glenn just wants to go through them, which we have seen him do before. But you know what he had before? BODY ARMOR. Know what he doesn’t have now? FUCKING BODY ARMOR. Dude is really testing my patience in this episode.

-Eugene and ’em find a car, even though it smells like death because a walker was trapped inside. Abraham and Rosita are just trying to get Eugene and his mullet to Washington, but he comes up with a plan to see if Glenn and Tara made it out of the other side of the tunnel. Abraham is pissed when he wakes up. Eugene sees something, which I didn’t really catch onto.

-Back in the tunnel, Glenn is looking at the walkers and trying to figure out if any of them are Maggie, Sasha or Bob (their names were on the TERMINUS sign as well). They’re not, so he believes they got through. So they try to distract the walkers with a flashlight and sneak around the other side, but I KNEW something bad was going to happen and my money was on Tara, who, of course, gets her leg stuck under a rock and wants Glenn to keep going, willing to sacrifice herself to the walkers while he continues. Of course, he isn’t going to do that.

-Daryl and Len get into another argument about the rabbit from earlier, and Len says Daryl stole his half of the rabbit, which was found in Daryl’s bag. But Joe says he watched Len (a former cop, we find out) plant the rabbit in Daryl’s bag and instructs the group to beat Len to death. By the end of it, the group leaves their abode and we see Len dead on the ground with an arrow through his eye. Daryl was going to cover him over with a blanket, but decides not to, because fuck that guy.

-The walkers are coming closer to Glenn and Tara, and Glenn gets to shooting until he runs out of ammo since he has like, seven bullets. But then gunfire comes out of nowhere and sprays the walkers. It’s Maggie, Sasha, Bob, Rosita, Abraham and Eugene, and that is what he saw as he was waiting for Glenn and Tara. Glenn and Maggie have their moment, and I’m happy for them, but they’re lucky since Glenn made some piss-poor decisions. Glenn introduces Tara and Maggie, who doesn’t remember that Tara was part of the group that got her father killed. It’ll be funny when that gets brought up later.

-Daryl and his crew continue down the tracks, and Joe tells him about the incident at the house with Rick, although Daryl doesn’t know it was Rick and they walk over the candy wrapper involved in Carl and Michonne’s bet. There is no subtlety in this at all, The Walking Dead beats you over the head with their foreshadowing.

-Meanwhile, Glenn, Maggie and ’em finally get to Terminus, which is unprotected, no lock on the fence door, nothing. They keep walking until they roll up on Mary, who welcomes them and says she’ll fix them a plate. It seems pretty anti-climatic.

So, what is Terminus? It seems pretty shady to me, they have no protection from anything, mufuckas can just walk through the door? Is it a cult? Cannibals? Do they feed people to walkers? Do they have walker fights like the Governor? Where is everyone else in Terminus? Will the other two groups (Killa Carol, Tyreese and Judith, and Rick, Michonne and Carl) get there as well? Are we just giving up on even caring about where Beth is (she kinda grew on me, somehow)? Who is going to die in the finale (because dammit, somebody gon’ die)? I have a lot of questions about The Walking Dead that I guarantee won’t get answered, but hell, like the characters, we’ve come this far.

The Walking Dead S04E14 – The Grove

I have been critical of The Walking Dead‘s ability to execute this multiple-storyline thing that they are going for, and it has been all over the place. But “The Grove” is a gripping hour of television (well, 45 minutes, I guess) and it may be the best episode they have ever done. Let’s go………….

-The cold open isn’t that long, and it is just a little girl, running around outside of a house playing tag with her “friend”, which we figure out is a walker by the way it is moving. So we’re on to Carol, Tyreese and the girls.

-After the credits, Carol and Lizzie are sitting up and talking while Tyreese, Mika and Judith sleep. Lizzie tells Carol that she saved Tyreese back at the prison when the Governor and his crew came through, but she was upset that she shot one of his attackers in the head. We all know that something isn’t right with this little girl….she just doesn’t get it. As soon as she started naming the walkers at the prison, you had to know something was wrong with Lizzie.

-Then she starts asking Carol about Sophia, and Carol said that Sophia didn’t have a mean bone in her body, to which Lizzie replies, “Is that why she isn’t here now?”. Maaaaaaaannnnnnn….I know she is a kid and all, but damn. To her credit, Carol didn’t choke her out right there.

-They continue down the tracks, and while Carol treats a cut on Tyreese’s arm, they talk about the sisters. Carol points out that Lizzie still thinks the walkers are people, which counteracts her toughness, while Mika is too nice to kill things, which has to change if they’re going to survive. Then they all start talking about Tom Sawyer, which I never read, so that scene kinda went over my head. I know: I’m an English major that never read Tom Sawyer. I lucked out.

-Carol and Mika go looking for water, while Tyreese stays with Judith and Lizzie, but he hears a sound and finds a walker on the tracks. He tries to kill it, but Lizzie begs him not to. And that is where I would have drawn the line and gave her a stern talking to, at least. Things are different now, and she just doesn’t understand. So infuriating. Meanwhile, Carol tries to break it down for Mika, telling her that she is going to have to learn to kill, at least walkers. Mika is too nice for that, though, Again, I get that they are kids, but damn.

-They find a house and while Carol and Tyreese are clearing it, the girls are outside, and Mika is still trying to tell her sister that walkers aren’t people, to which Lizzie replied, “you’re wrong, all of you”. It was creepy. That is when you got an inkling that something big was going to happen this week.

-A walker comes out of the house and almost gets the girls, but Mika shoots it in the head while Lizzie freezes and then has a panic attack. So we are getting somewhere. I think Mika may have mentioned that her sister has mental-health problems in the past, but we are seeing it now. Mika calms her down and tells Lizzie to look at the flowers. How telling that turns out to be.

-Carol is boiling tea and looking out the window, and she sees what we saw in the cold open: Lizzie playing tag with a walker. She runs out and kills it, but Lizzie loses her mind on her, screaming that the walker was her friend, and all kinds of other nonsense. Like, she really went full-on ham on Carol. It was kind of disturbing.

-Carol takes Mika out in the woods to go hunting, but Mika can’t shoot a deer they see. She just isn’t built for this life. Neither of the sisters are. Did we ever see a backstory on them? All I remember is their father dying at the prison. Anyway, Mika is all, “we have peaches!” and Carol is like, “bitch, I want meat!”.

-Lizzie goes off on her own, and Mika follows her. We see Lizzie feeding a rat to the walker she persuaded Tyreese not to kill on the tracks, and we figure out she was the one doing it at the prison as well. As soon as she said she can hear them, I really just wanted to push her into the walker’s grasp. A bunch of walkers come out of the woods, and they’re burned; they must have come from the smoke that the group noticed early in the episode. The girls run back to the house and along with Carol and Tyreese, they wipe out the walkers. Lizzie even saves her sister, who had gotten caught on some barbed wire. She is starting to get it…..maybe.

-Carol and Tyreese go on a hunting trip of their own, and leave Judith with the girls, because that seems like a brilliant idea. Tyreese opens up to Carol about having nightmares, and they are about Karen, which obviously makes Carol feel guilty for killing her. I was just waiting for the confession, but it doesn’t come yet.

-That has to be put on the backburner, because they get back to the house, and find Mika dead on the ground and Lizzie, dripping with blood and holding a knife. Lizzie was convinced that Mika would come back because that is what walkers do, but she didn’t hurt her brain, so she is fine. Carol and Tyreese are just staring at her like, “what in all the fucks?”. Carol tries to take the knife, but Lizzie pulls out a gun. Lizzie walkin’ around like Rambo up in this bitch, knives, guns, she got you. Carol finally calms her down, saying she would wait for Mika to come back, so Lizzie should go in the house with Tyreese and Judith, who she was also going to kill. Carol finally breaks down and has a cry, just a little one.

-Tyreese tells Carol that Lizzie cops to feeding rats to the walkers at the prison, and he also theorizes that she killed Karen and David, but Carol snuffs that out by saying Lizzie would have let them turn. Carol says that Lizzie can’t be around other people, which means it’s about to go down.

-Carol and Lizzie go outside, and Lizzie thinks Carol is mad at her for pointing a gun at her…not for killing her sister, though. She runs away and stands in front of some flowers, and Carol just tells her to keep looking at the flowers as she shoots Lizzie in the head through her tears. My jaw dropped. You know it had to happen, but it is still jarring. Carol and Tyreese bury the girls in the yard. Where the hell is Judith?

-Carol and Tyreese are sitting in the house, and Carol slides a gun over to Tyreese before she confesses to Karen’s murder. You think Tyreese is about to wild out, but he says he forgives Carol; still, he’ll never forget it. He knows that Carol has to live with it now, and that is punishment enough, and not to mention, they just buried two little girls. What’s the point of more bloodshed?

-They leave the house with Judith and continue their journey towards Terminus, and we hear a conversation between Carol and Lizzie about how Lizzie was afraid, and Carol tells her that it just happens; you just change. No character in the show has changed more than Carol, who was meek and abused when we first met her, and since then, she has lost her asshole husband, her real daughter, her “adopted” daughters and a few more along the way. She wasn’t always Killa Carol.

“The Grove” was, far and away, the best episode of the season and possibly the best of the series (at least in the conversation). Melissa McBride has been a tour de force this season and is putting up an MVP-type performance, and Brighton Sharpino, who played Lizzie, was awesome in this episode. That was an incredibly well-acted and well-paced episode that shows you that The Walking Dead is very capable of competing with the best shows out there. Two episodes left to see if everyone makes it to Terminus in one piece, and I suspect a few won’t make it.

One-Hitters: True Detective, House Of Cards, Orange Is The New Black, Top Boy

Those that know me well, know that I have issues with sleeping. Sleep doesn’t like me, and I’ve come to grips with it; we manage to get through most of the days alright. That means I am usually watching something late at night, and I have plowed through a bunch of stuff over the last month, because, winter. Here are a few quick reviews of what I have been watching.

Yeah, there are mad spoilers here.

True Detective

I’ll start with this since the finale is fresh in your minds. I am not going to lie, I was skeptical after the first couple of episodes and wasn’t sure if I was going to continue. The acting of Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson carried the show early on, and also, True Detective reminded me of Boardwalk Empire as a show that LOOKED like it was supposed to be good, but HBO money will do that. But it all kicked into high gear in the fourth episode, and while everyone talks about the long-take scene that closes it out (and deservedly so, because that shit was intense), the rest of the episode was excellent: the writing was concise, we knew what Rust was planning and things weren’t so ambiguous. It also didn’t go too, too far into the mystical side of things, because I feel they wouldn’t have lost a lot of people, but they gave you enough to pique your interest. But yeah, watch this. It’s a shame McConaughey (who will absolutely be nominated for an Emmy) won’t be back for season 2 of this anthology, but creator Nic Pizzolatto gets the benefit of the doubt for next season.

House Of Cards

I only heard about this when it started getting award nominations last year, but I passed over it because I didn’t think I would feel a political drama. Once the buzz for the second season started to build, I jumped in and House Of Cards grabs you from the opening scene. Kevin Spacey is brilliantly devious, as is Robin Wright, who won the Golden Globe for Best Actress last year. The first episode of the second season has something that I kind of saw coming, but it is jarring how it is executed. My only issue is how easily Frank has managed to make it to the presidency so quickly, but I assume this isn’t going to be a six or seven-season show, so it is being accelerated. But overall, it is pretty good. I like season 1 better (the way Frank slowly destroys Peter….man…..), but season 2 isn’t awful. Spacey needs to get nominated as well. (Side note: The Best Actor category for the next Emmy show could be beastly: Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad, McConaughey, Spacey, Jon Hamm will probably get in there for Mad Men somehow…..and there are still two spots left. Good stuff).

Orange Is The New Black

I finally got around to watching this, and the one thing I gathered from it, is that Orange Is The New Black would be better served as a show you get weekly. As someone who binge-watches a lot of shows, it is easy to want everything right now and I usually do; for example, The Walking Dead is a perfect show for Netflix, or even Mad Men (DEFINITELY Breaking Bad)Orange Is The New Black isn’t something where you need to watch the next episode right, in my opinion, but it was still a good show. It took a while to get going, but for me, it didn’t take off until Piper went to solitary, which I wanted so bad, then I felt like hell when I watched it. Taylor Schilling stepped up in that episode, and her naive character made more sense afterwards. But the key to this series are all the secondary characters; it’s rare to get a show where the majority of the cast isn’t all white and male, and Orange Is The New Black features mostly women, of all colors. The men that are in the show are scumbags. I respect that. I’m in for season 2, but I won’t rush to watch it (that’s a lie, I probably will once everyone else does. I’m a TV sheep. Whatever.).

Top Boy

This was suggested to me by a couple of the homies who know how I feel about The Wire, which is, for me, the best show of all time. Imagine if The Wire had moved to London, stayed in the ‘hood and focused on the streets, and you get Top Boy. Now, the thing that made The Wire great is how it managed to make the streets its foundation, but moved into other areas, like the docks (which you appreciate more after watching the series again), politics, schools and the media. Some just wanted the street shit, and Top Boy gives you that. I’m not gon’ front, I did have to watch the first couple of episodes with subtitles, because I had no clue what they were saying. It’s London ‘hood slang; that shit could mean anything. You won’t recognize anyone from it unless you watch British shows regularly, and they got away from the storyline of Ra’Nell, the kid who was supposed to be the main character, but they switched it up and focused on the ascent of Dushane and Sully to the top of the drug game. I’m not mad at it. Like most British shows, it is short: two seasons (or series, as they call them), four episodes a piece. They don’t waste a lot of time and again, I’m not mad at that. I REALLY hope they come out with a third season, but apparently that is up in the air, sadly.

The Walking Dead S04E13 – Alone

I’ve figured out what it is with The Walking Dead: the writers can’t be left with just one storyline to prepare an episode for. “Alone” features two of the groups and a definite improvement over last week’s episode. Just as you are getting tired of one group, they’ll switch over to another. Let’s go….

-We open with Bob wandering around like a walker, before he gets picked up by Daryl and Glenn. Is it just me or was that smile he hit as they were driving away a little sinister? Maybe he was just happy to be around something that isn’t trying to eat him, but it looked shady to me.

-Jump into the present day with Bob, Sasha and Maggie surrounded by walkers they can’t see due to a ridiculous amount of fog. They get through it, of course, but they’re running out of bullets and can’t see a damn thing. Bob gets scratched by a walker, but he’s alright….I think. Again, seems shady.

-They find a sign for Terminus, and Maggie wants to find Glenn. Sasha thinks everyone is dead. Bob seems like he has Pharrell’s “Happy” playing on an infinite loop in his head. One of these three is going to kill someone in their little crew.

-Maggie says fuck it and leaves on her own, which is stupid on a bunch of levels. One, you can’t get that far on your own. Two, she should know that they’re going to come looking for her. Why not just wait for them? I suppose they did go through the whole “do we go or not?” thing the previous night. But damn.

-Meanwhile, Maggie comes with a grand idea that isn’t creepy in the slightest. As she is walking along, a walker rolls up on her. So she kills the shit out of it, cuts open the stomach and uses the blood to write a message for Glenn on a wall. I guess you gotta work with what you have.

-Bob and Sasha are building something, I’m not quite sure what, though. Bob, in his undying optimism, gets on Sasha for being negative and assuming that everyone is dead, which I can respect and one of the reasons why you wouldn’t want me around for the zombie apocalypse. They get to a town, Bob kisses Sasha, she doesn’t do anything at all. She is a strange one, that girl.

-They split up, Sasha finds a building to set up shop in, and after a quick almost-cry, she looks out of a window and notices Maggie lying on the ground in the middle of a bunch of corpses. Sasha touches a window, which falls to the ground (she is a couple stories up), which of course, attracts walkers. So she runs down and tries to help Maggie out, Sasha with a stick and Maggie with a sword or a sign or an axe, something that she swings to cut mufuckas, long and short of it.

-They end up catching up to Bob, who is no longer alone and continue to make their way to Terminus, where they could meet up with……..Glenn, who finds a map to Terminus. So they’re all on the right path, it would seem.

-Then you have Daryl and Beth, who is learning how to track and shoot a crossbow; nothing bad can happen there, right?

-Beth sees a walker in a clearing and she tries to sneak up on it when she is caught by an animal trip. Daryl saves her, but that is when I started to think something was up. If that was an old trap, it probably would have caught something by now, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

-They find a funeral home, where Daryl can try and fix Beth’s ankle, and they look around the place. It doesn’t look like it has been overrun at all. There is food that Daryl thinks is relatively new (someone’s stash, as he says), and nothing has been touched. HINT #2.

-Beth plays a song on a piano while Daryl relaxes in a casket. The sexual tension is building. I don’t want to think about it because she looks and acts like she is 14. Do we even know how old she is in the first place?

-As they are eating in the morning, Daryl hears something at the door, and it is a scraggly-looking dog that looks like it has one eye. It runs away. HINT #3. Daryl is smarter than this, right?

-Obviously, he has Beth on the brain because Daryl hears something at the door again and this dude opens it up like he is expecting a pizza. NOAP…..walkers. A bunch of them. He takes them to the basement so Beth can limp out of the house, and he would meet her on the road. Daryl gets out to the road, but finds Beth’s bag on the ground and sees a car speed off. So yeah, now they are dealing with kidnappers. What is worse, walkers or kidnappers?

-Daryl spends all night running after this car, falling down in an intersection beside some railroad tracks, which you would think are the same ones that everyone else seems to be on. He is woken up by a motley crew of individuals with weapons. Daryl punches the leader, but eventually he is talked down. The leader, whose name is Joe apparently, says something like, “Why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people?”. Real nice guy. I’m sure this will go over well.

This was one of the best episodes of the season for The Walking Dead, and probably the best of the second half. There was enough action to keep you entertained (the walkers in the fog were creepy as shit), and you learned some stuff about the characters. Bob is used to being alone and doesn’t want to be anymore. Beth was getting through to Daryl before she got snatched up. “Optimism rules” is the moral of the episode, I guess. Either way, solid recovery from last week. Just keep giving the writers more than one thing to focus on and we’re good.


The Walking Dead S04E12 – Still

The focus of this week’s episode of The Walking Dead shifted to the unlikely pairing of Daryl and Beth, and I was waiting for this. But the execution of “Still” left a lot to be desired. It was all a little predictable and now I just want everyone to get back together, because handling these characters in small groups isn’t going so well. Let’s go….

-The duo are ransacking a car at night before they hear something in the woods, which of course turns out to be walkers and they end up spending the night in the trunk of a car while a herd passes by. This was the best part of the episode for me: just the two of them in a trunk, hearing all the gross walker sounds with one or two occasionally banging on said trunk. Quite intense. But the walkers couldn’t smell them? The trunk was open a little bit. Anyway, I don’t wanna nitpick the best part of the episode. I’ll let it slide.

-They outlast the herd and keep it movin’ down the road. Daryl is trying to find food and finds a rattlesnake, to which he goes to town on in seconds. While they’re eating, Beth decides she wants a drink of alcohol, even though she hasn’t had one. Listen, I like a drink like most people and a drink would seem like a good idea. But running from zombies while hungover sounds terrible. She stomps off when Daryl doesn’t speak to her, and manages to get away from some walkers, even though he was close by. This is when you kind of see what they’re planning for Daryl later on.

-They find a golf club, so do a herd of walkers, but of course, they evade that as well. Beth finds a bottle of wine, but uses it on a walker’s head instead. Meanwhile, Daryl passes a clock, one of the big grandfather joints that you just know is going to go off at some point. It does and sends a few walkers their way, but Daryl takes out some frustration on them with a golf club and gets blood on a nice, white sweater that Beth found. They end up in the gift shop/bar area, and all Beth can find is peach schnapps, which Daryl throws on the ground because he is an alcohol snob, apparently.

-So you know what Daryl wants to give Beth for her first drink? Moonshine. That’s more up Daryl’s alley. He goes to a cabin he found with Michonne, where he knows there is a ton of moonshine for the taking. She takes to it eventually, because it tastes like moonshine, and gets Daryl to have some as well, despite his protests. She is about to learn rule #194 (c) of life: if someone doesn’t want a drink, don’t badger them. There is probably a good reason for it. Hell, he TELLS her he is a dick when he is drunk.

-After a few rounds of “Never Have I Ever”, Daryl gets belligerently drunk and starts to tell Beth all about herself, which you should have seen coming. The cabin reminds him of his father, who wasn’t the best father in the world by a longshot; look at Merle, for example. This brings back a whole slew of memories for Daryl and he unleashes on her, bringing up her attempted suicide as a call for attention. She fires back with some stuff about being a survivor, but no one cares.

-Daryl’s yelling brings out a walker, which he uses as target practice because Beth said she never shot a crossbow before. He basically tortures the walker, pinning it to a tree, but not killing it. Beth gets away from Daryl’s one-armed drunken grip and puts the walker out of his misery with a stab to the head.

-Daryl was always going to break down at some point as the big, emotionless badass of the show and he blames the Governor’s invasion on himself. He cries, Beth hugs him, and yeah….predictable. Just like Beth showing that she is all grown up and not some naive little girl anymore, which she really is. Like she said, though, she’s surviving, so I guess she is winning….I guess.

All that being said, though, Daryl is still my pick for who I would roll with out of these characters. Mufucka is practical; only worries about what is in front of him. And he can kill anything. He will have your back, because he could have left Beth in the bushes.

-The show ends with the duo using the rest of the moonshine to burn down the cabin, which just seems selfish. Someone else could have used it at some point. Then they just skip off in the woods, throwing up middle fingers like they were listening to an Eminem album.

As I said, I was looking forward to this after last week, and I at least get what they were going for. I just didn’t think The Walking Dead pulled off trying to get you to feel compassion for Daryl and I didn’t buy Beth trying to pull his feelings out of him. At this point, I just want the group to get back together, because being handled in smaller groups isn’t working out for The Walking Dead. Next week, we have Maggie, Bob and Sasha, and hopefully the Tyreese/Carol crew.